Chatbox
 Catori
04:52:46 Cat
It means alot, thank you <3
 Amygdala
04:47:55 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cat
Definetly not terrible
You are amazing at this
 Catori
04:46:44 Cat
*terrible
 Catori
04:46:36 Cat
Oh thank you... I was like halfway through it thinking that I am Terrie at this sort of thing xD
 Amygdala
04:44:49 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cat
Wow it looks good
 Catori
04:42:50 Cat
Also only 1 person wanted the 3rd prize art from my raffle and here is the turnout :D they wanted a light fallow
-Click-
Since only 1 was taken I will be making a few more to sell. I think I will limit this one to 5 or 10 pieces. Not sure yet
 Amygdala
04:35:09 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cat
Not bad XD
 Catori
04:33:49 Cat
-WP Click-
SV just born, looks bloody xD
 Amygdala
04:28:24 Amy/Anpmygdala
Veil
No problem, glad i could help
 The Veil
04:23:39 
Amgdala
Thanks again, makes me wanna breed axanthics
 VioletEcho
04:20:24 Vi, Echo, Aria
AmyD Haha glad you do XD
 Amygdala
04:18:36 Amy/Anpmygdala
Veil
Here is a forum post about all defects and what they do
-WP Click-
 The Veil
04:15:19 
Amygdala
Thank you!
 Catori
04:14:18 Cat
<33
 Amygdala
04:13:56 Amy/Anpmygdala
Ary
Nice plan, i support XD
 Amygdala
04:13:36 Amy/Anpmygdala
If i get one i will send it your way ;)

Veil
The wolf can have only 80 perception and battle because of it (instead of 200)
 VioletEcho
04:12:31 Vi, Echo, Aria
Oh....shit...I accidentally retired two of my wolves
Whatever shall I do -
buy two even better wolves and name them after more Haikyuu characters yes
 The Veil
04:11:41 
Bearlow

-WP Click- The defect is blind
 Catori
04:11:16 Cat
I might have a couple of girls pop but not sure if I will have any luck in ExW... might have to steal one of yours xD
 Amygdala
04:08:31 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cat
I have more than 30 girls poping that day...surelly i can get atleast 1 wrestler lol
(Althow my score is ruined already so it doesn't matter lol)

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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