Ever got that feeling? The feeling that your being merely used as a item?

I got it bad now that school started... I usually share food with the kids I stuff cheeks lunch with, but god in any other class when im not sharing, i'm a "Bitch" That feeling sucks, I can't help but glare and keep how bad that feels inside... Yet I still share... I feel gullible, but if I don't share I don't fit in anywhere else... Now I've got a crush, and they all wanna scream that I like that person... You can already guess, its middle school.. The worst school yet... Schools dragging me down, yet I wake up everyday eager to go. I wish the other kids wern't as rude either, I was on the way to 1st period and I lightly shoved someone accinesttally. When I pass them up, next thing I know I feel my foot get kicked as the kid tried to slip me. Him and his friends just laughed. I shoved my binder at them, yet they laughed more. God I hate other people sometimes... I also have to deal with another kid I've had trouble with since 3rd grade. His obnoxious whispering into my crushes ear while looking at me is starting to hurt... And my crush laughs at it... Hes always saying the rudest comments ever. He turns his computer at others saying, "Look guys, Its (My name)" And they all happen to laugh... The girls are rude too, always wanting to say something about me. Like when I lost my social studies paper project, my whole group continued to scream at me the whole period. I feel terrible at school, but its the only place I get to see my crush... School is killing me with the grades too. My aunts always talking about how I'm failing science or whatever subject I'm bad at. I can't help but wanting to scream, I'm not perfect... Yet I wish I was...