Hello, I'm not expecting anything that I post here to be special or cool, or normal for that matter, but helpful criticisms, pointers, and your thoughts are always welcome!

Note: Mods, if these are unfit for the game please tell me and I'll take them down. I don't think there's anything that's against the rules, but just to be safe I thought I'd add this.

I recently read a story that has inspired me to try my hand at poetry, so bear with me. I'm most likely going to redo the last two lines so this one has 5 syllables consistently.

(April 2024)

Key; (#) - syllables in line

Alone but at home (5)

Home but without sleep (5)

Sleep but not at rest (5)

Resting but no restoration (8)

Restoration but just alone (8)

This will hopefully be the start of a multi-part story, so thoughts and criticism are appreciated! :)

The Banks
Part One of The Water is Fine

She stood on the bank of the river, the muddy water rushing past her bare toes that curled into the clay benstuff cheeksh them. It was a force to be reckoned with, these waters. This was an area prone to high waters and strong currents, the only people willing to try their luck swimming in it were stupid or reckless and almost never got away unscathed, but quite a few of the people never got the chance to tell their tale and want others against it.

So why was she there?
Excellent question; like most stupid choices it started with a whisper, a rumor. She couldn’t escape the voices around her talking about the river and how it was rumored that there was a vexed water spirit there, choosing the fate of those who dared to step into the murky depths. It was everywhere, at her school, at her job, even little things in books and music would remind her of the possibilities, as if it was trying to grab her attention and be the only thing she could think about.

It had intrigued her if she was being honest, she wasn’t a very religious person and tended to be open minded to the idea of supernatural deities and such. So after the first few weeks of the stories coming up she began to simply just listen when people would talk about it and decided to investigate just for the heck of it, so she’d stay right here on the banks, watching the river in the moonlight and far enough away from it to be safe.

She had been on the banks for quite some time now, having sat down after the first five minutes of her stake out, and was starting to consider the half a mile walk home when something splashed. She held her brstuff cheeksh for a moment before realizing that it was probably just a fish, nothing actually exciting.

She sighed as she stood up, facing the packed dirt path that would lead her back to her home and taking a few steps down the trail, but she paused when there was another, slightly louder splash that made her pause, staying very still and trying to listen for any more movement.

There was silence, nothing stirred in the night air as she held her brstuff cheeksh, causing her to sigh in a mix of disappointment and relief. With nothing to keep her there but her waning curiosity she started to walk away.

She laid in her bed, looking up at her bedroom ceiling in the dark and thinking over what she’d seen that night, which was nothing interesting unless you thought water rushing by in a river was unusual. It bothered her though, there was something different about the place, some much misfortune had occurred there it couldn’t be a coincinestce right?

Going there should have satisfied her wish to see the dangerous spot for her own eyes, but there it was again, the tug of some invisible force trying to drag her back to the banks and into the murky waters. It was almost stronger than it was before, she noted with a sinking feeling of dread.

What did it mean? Why couldn’t it just leave her alone? The questions swam in her head until one stole her attention and froze her in place. What did it want?

*Subscribes*