Shadowcreeper said:

It's lovely, and it's a good start!

Empress Midnight said:

Hmm...very interesting

LemonSnoodle said:

Hi! I am actually an English Literature student (third year!) focusing on creative writing, so I think I can give you a few tips!

The story is quite interesting so far. I think it would be helpful to establish some world-building, especially at the start when Asher is running through the woods, describe what the character is seeing, smelling, and physically feeling. This will really help the reader feel immersed. You can also world-build by establishing where the setting is set, such as the country (whether it's real or made-up), the connections between different supernatural beings (for example, do vampires and shapeshifters hate one another for being different, etc.).

I would also suggest to not use pictures of what your characters look like, it's much more involving and immersive to describe your characters when writing.

And my last suggestion would be to try not to focus too much on what will happen in future books. It is good to have a 'map' of what you want to happen and how to piece them together, but try focusing on your first story and how you want it to come together and feel complete.

I look forward to reading future chapters and seeing how this story unfolds, and I hope some of my tips will be helpful!