Once things got a little too heated for Sky to handle right now, he slowly pulled away. He then slid both of his hands down Alex's body and took his hand. Turning around, he made his way towards his bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed once he got there, letting go of Alex's hand before taking off his shirt and pants. "I don't want you to say anything back, but I'm sorry. I cant turn off my brain when I get like that, and it happens for no good reason." Sky began, pausing frequently. "It's just drug stuff and relapsing, you wouldn't understand, but it eats you alive." Sky continued. "It wont go away." Sky added quietly, finally meeting Alex's eyes. After a moment, Sky moved to get comfortable, not caring if Alex joined him or just sat at the edge of the bed. As long as he was there, he didn't care.

It didn't take Alex long to notice that Skylar seemed to be calming down. At that realization, he felt himself slowly beginning to relax and enjoy the kiss more than he had when it had started. He didn't try to change it or to pull away, instead letting Skylar guide them in this dance. When Skylar finally pulled back and took his hand Alex looked up at him. He was still for a moment before he moved to follow him to the bed, pausing a moment before quickly averting his gaze when Skylar slipped off his shirt and pants. It was only when he began speaking that Alex looked back at him. He listened intently as Skylar spoke, not wanting to miss a thing or seem disinterested because the truth was, he was invested in hearing everything that Skylar wanted to share with him, whether it was good or bad. He'd made the request that he didn't say anything, and so he didn't. Instead, he gave a slight nod and watched as he lay down. For a long moment, Alex was still, debating whether or not to sit down on the edge of the bed or lay down beside Skylar. Ultimately he found himself deciding on the latter and moved to lay down next to him, lying on his side so that he was facing Skylar. "I think I can kind of understand." He said softly. He wasn't going to say anything more than that, especially since he'd been asked not to say anything, but he could understand how certain things felt as though it was eating you alive, how that feeling wouldn't go away, and how it ultimately lead to you feeling as though you were drowning.

Sky watched as Alex moved to lie down beside him, shifting his position to lie on his back, bringing his arms up to rest his hands behind his head. It was once he got comfortable that he finally looked away from Alex. Embarrassment ate him alive, but he couldn't control his overwhelming feelings most of the time. "I know it's embarrassing, but I can't control it. Ever since rehab, I've been very easily irritated, and I always end up spiralling out of control. I've already been through the worst of the withdrawal, and I thought it was over, but there's always the nagging voice." Skylar said, his tone serious but quiet. He was calm enough to talk about it, but he still hated talking about it. Alex has a right to know what's going on with Sky. "I wanted to relapse so bad just now, but I don't have anything. I guess in a way that's good for you and my mom, but fuck. It just makes everything bad go away." Skylar added after a moment of silence.

Alex rolled onto his side so that he was facing Skylar once he had laid down. He rested a hand under his head, the other he let rest in the space between himself and Sky. He didn't say anything more, didn't want to cause Skylar to go back into whatever state of mind he was just escaping from. So, he remained quiet, and when Sky began to speak, explaining how it was for him even after rehab. Never taking his eyes off of him, Alex let his gaze take in the sharp angles of Skylar's face, his perfectly straight nose, his brow, his lips, and the way his eyes seemed to hold a distance to them as he spoke. His heart went out to him, and again he found himself wishing that there was more he could do for Skylar. Wishing that he could be someone that Skylar could rely on and trust. Someone who wasn't trapped by his own demons and could offer Skylar anything and everything he needed to overcome the battles he was facing. "Is there anything besides the..." He stopped himself from saying the word, as if doing so would keep it from Skylar's mind. "Is there anything else that helps?" He asked after a moment, his gaze continuing to rest on Skylar.

Skylar finally turned to look at Alex, but only for a brief moment. "I don't know." His voice was quiet, yet it carried a deep emotion. Worry, fear, and hopelessness. His jaw clenched as he stared up at the ceiling. Despite the fact that he was calm now, he still wanted to relapse. He wanted to do it almost every second of the day, sometimes the thought was loud, and sometimes it was drowned out by Alex. Alex can't be the only thing that drowns out those thoughts, he needs other things to get past this. "Nothing will beat the high I felt." Sky admitted shamefully. Swallowing thickly, he threw a glance at Alex, pain in his eyes from Alex witnessing him spiral. This time wasn't even bad, it could have gotten much worse.

(help)

Alex didn't take his eyes off Skylar as he listened to him. He frowned at the answer he was given. Was there truly nothing that could help him overcome this? Was there nothing that would help him get his mind off of the thoughts that had pulled him into using? He could see the fear and the hopelessness in Skylar's gaze when he'd looked at him, and it made his chest tighten with enough force he felt an ache. "Maybe nothing will beat the high that you felt... but perhaps we could try and find something that gets close? Something that you can turn to instead, whenever you need to?" He offered. What that might be, or how he would even go about finding it, Alex wasn't the slightest bit sure. But if it meant that he could be of some use to Skylar then he was willing to do and try just about anything.

Sky listened to what Alex had to say, swallowing thickly before moving to lie beside him. Before he got comfortable, he leaned over to Alex to kiss him. It gave him a rush, but not anywhere near the one he felt when using, but still, he tried. He still really enjoyed kissing him, so he continued to kiss him slowly before pulling away. Fully lying down, he rested his gaze on Alex, finally able to look him in the eyes for more than 3 seconds. "We can try." Sky finally replied, trying to give Alex a sense of hope despite him not feeling any himself. Alex was right though, he should try and find something that he could turn to instead of using again. Right now, Sky could only think of one thing. Maybe it would kill the pain inside his head. After getting lost in thought, he zoned back in on Alex.

Part of Alex prepared for Skylar to shut down, to push him away and close him out after he'd made his suggestion. After all, he knew he was pushing it, pushing the boundary that had been laid out between them. When Skylar kissed him, he smiled ever so slightly against his lips, and let the kiss remain slow and gentle. At the answer he got he felt a small sense of relief and a great deal of hope. When he got home he would be sure to start looking at and trying to figure out things that Skylar could do or use to replace the desire he had for the drugs he'd been using. "Thanks..." he said softly after a long moment of silence. Perhaps it wasn't necessary but he felt as though he needed to thank Skylar for being willing to try and for granting him the ability to at least do something aside from standing on the sidelines and watching while he needed help.

Sky furrowed his brows a bit after Alex thanked him. "Why are you thanking me? Don't thank me. I should be thanking you Alex." Skylar spoke, slightly confused but also a little hurt for some reason. It sort of made him feel guilty that Alex was the one saying thanks when Sky had been the one to put him through hell and back. He took a deep breath before it got to him further, reaching to grab hold of one of Alex's hands. Looking down, he focused on their hands as he messed around with Alex's fingers to distract himself. Slowly, he looked up. "I love you." Skylar said, his voice soft and quiet.

Alex could understand how his thanks and his gratitude could confuse Skylar, but it made sense to him. He was thankful that he was being allowed to at least try and help. That he had been trusted enough to hear what Skylar thought, and how he felt. "You could have shut me out... but you didn't." He responded softly as if that was explanation enough for why he had thanked him. Falling quiet and simply allowing himself to exist as he lay next to Skylar, Alex let his gaze drop to his hand when he took hold of it. He watched as their fingers moved, as if in some intimate dance. He smiled faintly as he watched, though his smile was quick to falter and his eyes were just as quick to fly up to Skylar when he heard him. His heart seemed to stop and start hammering inside his chest all at once, and his breath caught in his throat. "What?" He asked softly, a part of him questioning whether he'd heard correctly. It wasn't that he didn't like it, or that he was upset and unhappy upon hearing such words, quite the opposite actually. Hearing Skylar say that he loved him... he didn't think there were words to describe how happy that made him feel.