Song: i hate me too by guccihighwaters.
(With some slight adjustments to the lyrics to avoid as much repeating and make it more accurate to characters in certain places)
Characters: Garvin. Ford, Yari, Fintan, and Vaidilas (unnamed in the song) are all mentioned to some degree.
Context:
Welcome to your first glance at this version of Garvin, who is very sad and very arrogant. He’s such a bitch. He’s such an idiot. He’s such a street rat pigeon man. Basically– A glimpse into the life of a Garvin that stayed in crime city (read, stayed within Fintan’s grasp) for three years straight without any sort of leave or vacation or anything of that sort during that time.
*~*~*~*
*Again, this entire thing just goes over different stuff going on in Garvin’s life in BTG. As such, it’s moreso structured as incorrect quotes than how song lyric things are usually structured with us.*
Garvin, literally just a little overview of the fact that he’s not doing well at all but somehow thinks he’s doing fucking great; “I’m sad and I’m stressing… But I’m still out here flexing!”
Garvin, just some references to his addictions and drinking that do not help him at all, oh and the fact that said drinking and addictions are used against him a lot by people; “Mixed emotions, fucked up from the potion…”
Garvin, the amount of suicidal thoughts he has is not good; “Should I just leave or try to fight it? Should I bleed out just so you can find me?”
Garvin, kind of referring to Ford, given that he is the most likely to find him if he were to go through with taking his own life; “Just so you can find me…”
Garvin, referring to Yari’s replacement in the gang, someone very loyal to Fintan who is absolutely terrible, as one could expect; “You got a new member.”
Garvin, some of that aforementioned arrogance now, he really does think he’s doing great because Fintan and his crew be spoiling the fuck out of him when they aren’t busy abusing him; “Bitch, I got them diamonds! They’re bending fucking light, man.”
Garvin, oops a little bit of that terrible relationship with Ford here, Garvin totally isn’t meaning to guilt him into intimacy but like, that’s what happens when someone’s entire sense of worth is based in physical intimacy and nothing else; “I got a loose grip on life… Will you save me tonight?”
Garvin, again hinting at a bit of his terrible relationship with Ford; “I got a tight grip on the knife– On this side of my mind, I ain’t taking your life.”
Garvin, and yet again, some more of that terrible relationship with Ford, this time highlighting just how disconnected and apathetic Garvin is; “You said you worry ‘bout me? I’d worry ‘bout me too.”
Garvin, some more of those suicidal thoughts with a dash of terrible relationship with Ford; “I wish you were a noose, grab my neck and call a truce…”
Garvin, oh boy the arguments with Ford are insane; “You hate me? Well, bitch, I hate me too. I don’t wanna fuck with life, I’m just in it for a few.”
Garvin, hinting/referring to how off/on the relationship with Ford is while also kind of hinting/referring to the shit that’s still going on with Fintan; “You left me? I wouldn’t date me too… I’m a lonely piece of shit, but the money comes soon.”
Garvin, fun fact gold is another street name for cocaine, basically, this part is once again referring/hinting to the shit still going on with Fintan; “Gold in my nose, couple hoes give me dough–”
Garvin, a sort of breakup with Ford, certainly not the first or the last, as aforementioned the two are very off/on; “Never catch those feels again, I let my guard down at the gulf…”
Garvin, and now here’s the regret of the breakup because of how much history the two have and the fact that they do have nice, civil, loving moments together sometimes; “Felt your head on my chest… It’s been a while, but I still know your breath on my neck…”
Garvin, some more suicidal thoughts for our street rat pigeon man; “Bitch, I wanna die tonight…”
Garvin, no worries our boy still loves the stars, very much retreats to literally anywhere he can see them whenever he can and/or when he feels like shit; “I’m looking at the sky tonight…”
Garvin, just a little recap of his fucking depression and how shitty arguments between him and Ford are; “You hate me? Well, bitch, I hate me too. I don’t wanna fuck with life, I’m just in it for a few.”
Garvin, and another tiny recap for how absolutely terrible his sense of self and sense of worth are and how absolutely despicable Fintan is; “You left me? I wouldn’t date me too… I’m a lonely piece of shit, but the money comes soon.”