Skylar continued to stare at Alex, his furrowed brows never leaving his face. When he realized Alex was leaving, panic rose in him. He didn't know if he should let him or not, but then he remembered that he was drunk. Skylar couldn't let him leave, no matter what. Rushing after Alex, he closed the door and spun Alex around before pushing him up against the now closed door. "Stop fucking acting like this." Skylar said loudly in his face. "You don't get to act like this because I don't want to show you some ugly cuts." Skylar then said. Swallowing thickly, he continued to stare into Alex's eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when his tears threatened to fall. He felt as if his whole world was turning upside down. Shaking his head, he took a step back away from Alex, not trapping him anymore.

Alex needed to get out of here. He was desperate, all he could think about was the cuts he'd see on Skylar's arms, how Skylar had so quickly hidden them, and then how he'd spoken to him. Despite his stumbling, he had just reached the door and was about to step through when it was slammed closed. As he was grubbed and spun around before being pushed up against the door he'd just tried to leave through he grunted his eyes widening in surprise. "It's not just about the cuts, Skylar." He said his voice hollow. He couldn't look at Skylar and so he let his gaze drop to the floor. "You promised me that you'd at least try to let me in, and I promised that I would stay, that I would be here to help you. But you haven't let me... instead you've been..." He glanced at his arms and bit at his lip. "You've been doing that and then pretending like you're okay. How long have you been lying to me?" He questioned as he looked at him. "When I ask if you're fine, how many times did you look me in the eye and lie? How many times did you make me think you were okay only to turn around and do this?" He asked, still finding himself unable to look up at Skylar. He was aware of the moment when he'd stepped back, releasing him from being held against the door, but he didn't move.

Skylar took a deep breath after Alex had finished speaking. "Since..." Sky began, biting the inside of his cheek. "Fuck, since the sleepover okay." Skylar said, letting the words spill out of his mouth. "I started that night and have been doing it ever since. Yeah, those days I stayed home. I wasn't sick, but I wasn't fine either." Skylar said, shaking his head, slight anger still in his tone. "My problems are too much, Alex, and I hate myself for it, so I don't want to talk to anyone about it." Skylar continued, finally looking away from Alex. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath in. Was Alex going to break up with him for this? Sky didn't know, but in his mind, the possibility is high.

Though he had asked, Alex wasn't expecting an answer. In truth, he was expecting to be lashed out at again or to be entirely ignored. So when Skylar answered him, when he found out how long he'd been doing this he felt his heart sink and his eyes widen in surprise. Anger surged forth but he did his best to corral it, to bury it, and to ignore it. "Maybe if you're alone they are... but you aren't alone Skylar." He said, only now looking up at him. He hated hearing him say that he hated himself, he hated hearing how hopeless he sounded when suggesting that his problems were too much. But more than anything, Alex hated that he hadn't been able to do anything for him. After a moment of stillness, Alex found himself moving to step away from the door and take hold of one of Skylar's hands. "Look, I get not wanting to talk about it..." He said quietly as he looked at him. "And that's okay... Sky." He meant it, as much as he wished that Skylar would tell him what he was thinking and how he was feeling he understood why he didn't. "But I wish that you would text, call, or come over whenever you want to do something instead of secluding yourself." He said, albeit with some hesitation.

Skylar looked at Alex as he spoke, but his eyes didn't stay on the male for long. "You can't help me Alex, so there's no point in telling you. There's no point in any of that." Skylar began, looking down. "You told me to find something to turn to, and I did. Im not saying it's your fault because it's not." Skylar then said, half-regretting it. Slowly, Skylar lifted his shirt and tossed it to the side. "Here, if you really wanna see." Sky said, pushing his arms towards Alex. "Oh and that's not it." Sky said, laughing a bit and shaking his head. Sky then took off his pants and tossed them to the side as well. Immediately, he regretted taking his pants off, because his thighs were a lot worse. He hated looking at them himself, so he hated showing Alex. He had no clue why he was showing Alex, but there was no going back now. So he stood there, only in his underwear, as he looked back up at Alex.

Alex shook his head as he listened to Skylar say that he couldn't help him. He didn't believe that. Didn't want to believe it. There had to be something that he could do, some way that he could help him. He was just about to say that when he heard Skylar's next words. You told me to find something to turn to, and I did. The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He did this? This was his fault? He didn't hear Skylar say that it wasn't, that part had gone in one ear and out the other. He felt like he was going to be sick. Why... why had he said that? Why had he suggested such a thing? He should have known better. Should have come up with something instead of leaving Skylar alone to deal with it himself. Damn it... damn it... damn it... He wanted to scream and yet his throat was so tight with emotion he didn't even think he could utter a word let alone scream. He was pulled from his thoughts when Skylar stepped away from him and spoke, and then he watched in horror as he took his shirt off to reveal the cuts on his arms and then took off his pants to show the injuries on his thighs as well. They were awful, terrible, horrible. He wanted to look away and yet he found himself unable to. Slowly he looked up at Skylar, his vision blurry. For a second he thought maybe it was the alcohol until he felt the dampness of a few tears escaping his eyes. Instantly, and entirely mortified he clasped a hand over his mouth but instead of turning away, he moved towards Sky and wrapped his arms around him.

As soon as Skylar saw the genuine horror in Alex's face, he wished that he had never taken his clothes off. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out, just from the expression on Alex's face. Fuck. Skylar pushed Alex away immediately when he saw him coming in for a hug. He was taken aback slightly by how hard he had pushed him. He didn't want a hug at all. Shaking his head, he wanted to hurt himself. Moments like this would make him want to get high, but now they don't, which is an improvement.... but what he replaced it with is not. Sky didn't know if it was better or worse, both were extremely bad. "Fuck this, I didn't want you to find out because of this shit." Skylar began, walking away to put on his clothes. Stopping in his tracks, his attention focused on the door to his bathroom. Memories of every time he's done it came back. After a moment, he shook it off, putting on his clothes swiftly.

Alex could still feel the rush of emotions, the pain in his chest, the way his tears seemed to flow despite his best efforts to stop them. He realized then as he moved toward Skylar that he needed that hug just as much as he was sure Sky needed it. He had gotten only a step toward Skylar before he found himself being pushed away. Any other time, any other day when he hadn't had so much to drink that the world seemed to feel as though it were constantly shifting, and Alex was sure he would have been perfectly fine. That his legs would have caught him instead of tangled with one another as he scrambled to regain his balance after being pushed away. But his legs didn't catch him, and they did tangle, and he stumbled back into Skylar's door, hard enough to rattle it. The door knob crashed into his shoulder as he did so and he grunted with pain though he refused to cry out. No, he'd pretend like he was fine so as not to worry Skylar or make this situation any more fucked up and messy than it already was. So gritting his teeth and blinking back the tears in his eyes he pulled himself to his feet and watched as Skylar got dressed. He flinched at his words before looking down. "Skylar I'm sorry..." He said and shook his head. He hadn't meant to look at him like that like he was disgusted and horrified with what he was seeing. Hadn't meant to make him feel uncomfortable enough to push him away. "How could I not have known?" He asked though the question was more to himself than to Sky. "Even if you hated me for it... I should have come over here to visit, to sit with you, talk, watch movies these past few days... I shouldn't have stayed away..."

After he put his clothes on, he looked back towards Alex before starting to make his way back to him. "Oh don't pull that either Alex. I did it when you were in my fucking house. You being here wouldn't change anything." Skylar replied. "You got what you wanted, though, and how did you like it huh." Skylar spoke, clearly agitated. "You like me doing this more than drugs?" Sky continued. He didn't know why he was saying all this, but he couldn't stop himself. He had no clue how to feel or what to do. Everything always turned into a fight with Sky, he didn't know how else to respond in situations like these. He balled his hands into fists subconsciously, looking away from Alex. Sky's head was filled with a sea of emotions, and they all didn't mix well together. "Right here in this moment, I want to lock myself in that bathroom and do it while you're begging and pleading for me to open the door. That should tell you that there is something fucking wrong with me." Skylar said, pointing at his brain.

Lifting a hand to rub at the shoulder he'd hurt he leaned back against the door and looked at Skylar. He was silent as he listened to him speak, and gradually the anguish dissipated and anger took its place. "It won't change anything?" He repeated a dullness to his tone. He was hurt, yes. But hearing Skylar dismiss his feelings, tell him that his presence didn't matter, and then go so far as to say he wanted to do something like lock himself in the bathroom and cause himself more harm while he was begging for him to stop, and to open the door. How the hell could he say something like that? He understood him being upset and angry... but that... Clenching his jaw he looked up at him before shaking his head. "Screw you." He said coldly as he looked at him. "I'm going home." He added with a shake of his head. He didn't give a fuck if he was so wasted he could barely walk, one thing was for damn sure he couldn't stay here. He didn't want to... Dropping his hand from his shoulders and picking his shoes up once more he moved to throw the bedroom door open and begin stumbling his way to the front door.