Skylar felt relieved when he shut the truck door but soon found himself tensing up when Alex lightly knocked on the passenger window. Sky's heartbeat picked up the pace, as he grew even more anxious. He had no clue what Alex was going to say, but he clearly didn't need to sleep on it. He took a deep breath in before slowly moving his hand to press the button to roll down the passenger window. He swallowed thickly once the window was rolled down halfway. Staring at Alex, he was silent, not knowing what to say or if he should even say anything. He brought his hands together in his lap, and anxiously started to pick at the skin around his nails. This was either going to be good or bad. Alex could either say yes, which would be good or he could say no or not yet which would be bad. The section option for the bad would be less bad, but still, Sky wanted him to say yes. He knew it was going to be hard and there were many factors that could lead to Alex saying no, but he also knew that they just had a great night together.

(Ah sorry mines so short compared to yours)

Alex wasn't sure how to answer, or what he should give in response. His heart wanted a yes, but logic made him hesitant to obey such a demand. The friendship that he and Skylar had was perfect. He could be himself, could stick next to Skylar without feeling forced to do what he wasn't comfortable with. Not that Skylar would demand such a thing of him, but if their relationship became official he personally would feel like he had to give more than he already was, and considering his situation, he wasn't sure he'd be able to. Drawing in a breath he slowly let it out and waited for Skylar to roll down the window. Perhaps sleeping on it, giving himself a night to think it over would be a good idea. When Sky rolled down the window, Alex dropped his hand and let his gaze fall on the male's emerald green hues. For a long moment, he was silent before he looked down. "Tomorrow..." He started, biting at his bottom lip as he tried to work out a response. "I'll give you my answer tomorrow... okay?" He promised, his gaze rising from the ground where they had fallen and returning to Skylar.

((No worries!! Sorry this post is so short. >.>))

Skylar couldn't get himself to look Alex in the eyes once the window was fully rolled down. He found it even harder to look once Alex started speaking. Tomorrow. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no, Sky thought. Skylar grew quite anxious and tense, giving Alex a nod in response before rolling the window back up. Im such an idiot for even asking. A million thoughts raced through Sky's mind, and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about what Alex could possibly say tomorrow. Sky would have a hard time sleeping that's for sure. He knew it was probably hard for Alex, so being understanding if he said no would make things easier. Sky knew that, but it was easier said than done. His facial expression dropped as he looked away from the passenger side, putting the key into the ignition. Once Alex was out of the way, he began to drive away, not daring to look at Alex again. "I'm such an idiot." Skylar muttered to himself.

'

Once Sky arrived home, he sat on his front porch for only a minute, staring up at the star-filled sky. He still couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened, both things. From the special moment they shared together, to Sky asking him out. What was he thinking?! In Sky's mind, everything they have been doing had to have a label on it, and Sky didn't want that label to be friends with benefits. He wanted it to be official, so all he could do was hope that Alex wanted that as well.

Alex would be lying if he said he wasn't concerned nor felt bad regarding the answer he'd given and the response Skylar seemed to have. He frowned at the nod he was given and the lack of a verbal response. It was too quiet and, Alex could see from the way Skylar rolled up the window to how he looked away from him, that he seemed nervous? Clearing his throat he nodded and moved to step back and away from the truck. Chewing at his bottom lip he was torn between trying to say something more and remaining silent. Even if he were to attempt to speak, what could he possibly say? He wanted to say yes, to have this relationship become an official one. The idea of being and having a boyfriend was enticing, thrilling, and something he yearned for. However, there was a monumental mountain that seemed to stand between him and such hope and desire he had, and unfortunately, that was his family. He wanted Skylar, wanted to be with him and to be his of that he was certain, but was he willing to risk his family, the relationship he had with them to obtain what he wanted?

`

As Skylar drove off, Alex remained still and let his gaze follow the truck as it departed. Once it was out of sight he looked down and sighed. "Damn it." He cursed quietly to himself and lifting a hand to rake his fingers through his hair he sucked in a breath of the cool air. His gaze fell and the night sky, on the stars that were visibly shining. Normally he would enjoy such a sight but right then he found no pleasure in the celestial scene above him. Shaking his head and looking forward he dropped his hand from his hair and started walking toward his house.

`

Fortunately, it didn't take him long to reach the front door, and pushing it open he quietly stepped into the house. It was late enough that his younger sister was probably still asleep, and while he was sure both his parents were still up and waiting for him, he didn't want to disturb the quiet of the house. "Alex? Is that you?" His mother's voice, soft and gentle called from the living room. "You're quite late." This came from his father, gruff and stern. "Yeah." He returned as he headed toward the living room where his parents were seated, an episode of Yellowstone playing on the large flatscreen TV mounted on the wall above the fireplace. "We decided to stay for the second movie." He lied, surprised at how easily it came to him. Neither one of his parents seemed to catch onto his dishonesty, his father gave a slight grunt in acknowledgment before returning his attention to the TV. His mother on the other hand nodded and smiled at him. "I'm glad it sounds like you and your friend had fun." Alex returned her smile with one of his own and gave a nod. "Yeah..." He responded before looking away. "I'm gonna take a shower and head to bed." He said, effectively turning down the offer to join them that he was sure his mother was about to make.

`

Slipping his shoes off he set them by the door before making his way up the stairs and toward his room. His thoughts, very quickly, returned to Skylar and the proposition he'd made. Go out.... be his boyfriend... his heart was thrilled at the idea, but his mind feared it. If he were to accept how long until the world he'd so carefully built around him crumbled, how long until the truth about what... who he was came to light?

With a sigh, Skylar got up and made his way inside. Kicking off his shoes, he walked slowly to his round. His whole mood was down, all the worry and anxiousness were weighing heavily on his shoulders. "Skylar, are you okay?" Danielle asked after she had stared at him for a moment. Her attention had turned to Sky the moment he walked in the door. "I don't wanna talk about it." Skylar said quietly as he walked past her and into his room. He decided on the way home that he was going to shower and then try to sleep. Upon arriving at his room, he immediately took off his clothes and left them on the ground. He walked into his bathroom, butt-naked, and turned on the mirror before staring at himself in the mirror. Once the water had been running for a bit he checked the temperature before getting in.

As Alex ascended the stairs to his room he could hear the sound of his parent's show playing. How he wished he could talk to them about the complex emotions he was feeling. It would have been nice, more than nice actually, it would have been amazing if his parents were half as understanding and caring as Skylar's mom seemed to be. If they were... if they didn't hold such negative opinions and beliefs about the lgbtq community, how much better would his life be? He wouldn't have to live each second of each day pretending to be something and someone that he very clearly wasn't. He'd be able to trust his family and feel accepted in a way he didn't, in a way he hadn't since realizing that he was solely attracted to and interested in people of the same sex as he. No amount of wishing, dreaming, or hoping was going to change the fact that his parents were who they were, and likely never going to change their views.

`

Reaching his room he moved to slip off his shirt and, tossing it into the laundry basket he moved to undo and step out of his pants before grabbing his pajamas from where he'd left them lying on the bed. With them in hand he turned to head into his bathroom, closing the door behind himself and then moving to turn on the water. As it began heating, Alex set his clothes down and then moved to fetch a towel. His mind continue to play the scene and the sound of Skylar's voice confessing that he wanted him to be his boyfriend. Each time it left him feeling a confusing array of feelings, ones he wasn't entirely sure what to do or how to deal with.

That very night was hard for Sky, despite the very good day, it only took one thing to set him off. Alex's reaction not being an immediate yes scared Sky. His mind was racing all nights with many thoughts, and unfortunately, relapsing was one of them. Skylar had pushed past it, but it took a bit, and eventually his brain shut off to sleep.

'

The next morning, Sky woke up quite early. He was tossing and turning all night, and woke up quite a few times. So when he woke up for the 3rd time, at 6:47 am, he decided to just stay up. With a groan, he opened his eyes. He was already so annoyed, what a great start to the day. He got up slowly, sitting on the edge of his bed for a moment before fully getting up. He was just in his underwear, but he didn't care as he walked towards his door. He opened it and immediately made his way to the kitchen. If he wanted to make it through the day he needed some coffee in his system. So that was what he did, he made a coffee. He sat at one of the island chairs, waiting for the kettle to boil the water. When he heard the kettle go off, he looked up for a moment before making his way to it. He returned to the island chair after his coffee was made to drink it. It was when he was in the middle of his first sip that he remembered what was happening today. "Alex." Skylar said as he spit out his coffee, that low-key burned his mouth. "Fuck that shits hot." He exclaimed quietly. He got up and set his mug down. He grabbed a cloth and cleaned up the coffee that he had spit everywhere.

The night had gone just about as well as Alex had expected it to. Terrible. He'd barely gotten a wink of sleep, and in the few precious hours he'd managed to sleep he'd tossed and turned. His mind wouldn't shut up, it kept replaying the day. From the time he arrived at Skylar's place, to the museum, the drive-in, what happened after, and finally the confession. There were so many highlights, so many perfect moments during the day. Each second spent, each glance, touch, kiss... it had all been so fucking perfect, and yet... and yet he still wasn't certain about saying yes to a relationship with Skylar. There were so many risks, not just to himself but to Skylar as well. What if... what if they tried, what if he tried and it didn't work out? Would Skylar seek refuge from the hurt, in drugs? Would there be another possibility of an overdose? It was just after five in the morning by the time Alex decided to get up and abandon all attempts to get any more sleep. Groaning he blinked and threw the blankets off of him before getting up out of bed.

`

He had spent the entirety of the night trying to figure out how he would respond. Weighing the pros and cons of saying both yes and no. Yet he was still no closer to an answer. Lifting a hand he ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way to the closet. Grabbing and changing into a simple black t-shirt and dark blue denim jeans he moved to leave the bedroom. His parents were likely still asleep, or just beginning to wake up and he didn't want to disturb them so moved as quietly as he could and headed down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard he then moved to get the jug of orange juice from the fridge. Maybe... maybe he should try talking to Skylar before he made a decision... but he had little doubt that the moment they met, Skylar would expect the answer he'd promised to give him.

Now that Sky was awake, and he had just remembered what he had asked Alex the night prior, his brain wouldn't shut up again. It made his heart race, and he almost couldn't stomach the coffee. Thoughts raced in his mind, What if he says no, what happens then?! Skylar finished the coffee after a good 15 minutes of struggling. His stomach kept twisting and turning as nausea knawed at him. He was really unsure of how today was going to go, and that alone made him more anxious. Knowing that there was a big possibility of Alex saying no was unsettling and he should have never confessed to wanting such a thing. Yeah right like we'll ever be official. Sky moved to put his mug in the sink before going back to his room. Once he closed the door behind him, he stood there for a moment, deciding if he should get dressed or just hop back in bed. He decided to get back into bed, his brain wouldn't shut up either way. He knew a way to make it shut up, but he couldn't, it killed him that he was even thinking about it. Sky knew that getting clean was going to be hard, but he couldn't turn to that when things got rough. Well, he could, but it really wasn't ideal. Climbing back into bed and pulling the covers over his body, Sky stared up at his ceiling.

The idea of having to meet Skylar when he didn't yet have an answer made Alex nervous. True they hadn't discussed an exact time to meet up, but he undoubtedly would see him later. What would he tell him? That he didn't know how to answer? That seemed worse than a no because it drew it out for both himself and Skylar. Drawing in a breath he held it a moment and slowly let it out before taking a sip of his juice. Putting the juice back into the fridge he moved to head toward the living room. There he took a seat on the couch. He didn't turn on the light or turn on the TV, instead, he let his gaze fall on the fireplace, his glass of juice in hand. Skylar knew that he hadn't told anyone about his sexuality, so surely he wouldn't ask anything more of him or push being in the open... right? That, he realized, was his biggest fear about committing to a relationship. He knew that it was unfair to keep it hidden, to only show affection in secret and behind closed doors. Skylar deserved better than that. He deserved someone he could openly be with, someone who wouldn't want to hide their relationship from the world.

`

Letting out a sigh Alex shook his head and leaned back on the couch. "What am I going to do?" He asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. The question wasn't directed at anyone or anything, and since he was alone he didn't expect an answer. It felt like hours passed, though it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes before Alex straightened. He leaned forward to set his glass down on the coffee table and then reached for his phone. Six forty. Still incredibly early, but if Skylar had had as difficult a time sleeping as Alex, then perhaps he was awake. He couldn't trust himself to talk to him, and quite frankly didn't think he'd be able to handle calling Skylar and hearing his voice, so instead, he opened the messaging app. "Hey," he typed out only to delete it. "You awake?" This didn't sound good or appropriate either and so he found himself deleting the message once more and giving a soft groan.