Emery sighed, relaxing into the chair silently, watching as he hobbled over to the chair. She winced, a frown falling onto her features "Nonsense. Lucky for you i always come prepared, Ill change them out in the mornings?" She offered, ignoring the red flags that were signaling inside. She let the silence fall between them again, her eyes closing only briefly as they sat there.

Her mind ended up drifting of again, and she found herself speaking without realizing "2 years.." she whispered, "They would have been two years old.." she murmured, still lost in her own thoughts to realize she was actually speaking aloud then in her head. What would they have looked like? Her or Elias? Or both? Those questions would never really be answered, and the thought made a small whimper like sound fall from her lips.

Again Emery surprised him as she offered to change his bandages in the morning, chocolate eyes flickering back up to hers momentarily in his shock. Why was she being so kind, after all he had done? Brekker interlaced his own fingers together, squeezing his hands. As much as he wanted to accept her help, he knew he couldn’t. That would mean them being alone in his guest room, Brekker half-naked and with them in very close quarters. If they were caught… or if something happened between them… It would most definitely be a foul experience with an equally bad outcome.

The woman spoke again, her voice just above a murmur before she whimpered softly, clearly distraught. It took Brekker a moment, but the man visibly tensed once he realized what she was talking about. The child she had lost. The child that had been his too, but Brekker had abandoned Emery before he even got the chance to find out. He gritted his teeth, head bowing and eyes squeezing shut. What could he possibly say? How could he possibly comfort her when he had left her to grieve alone?

“That man that I shot…” Brekker trailed. This woman deserved the truth. She deserved to know the entire reason he left, even if he had been flawed. “He intended to kidnap you… or worse.” He admitted, though he still refused to meet her eyes. “He wanted to use you against me, probably torture you or something of the sort, so I ended him. I never told you because I would rather you think I’m a monster rather than be afraid for your life.” Brekker’s hands shook for a moment before he forced them to steady. He couldn't break, not right now.

He took a shaky breath before continuing. “I figured if I left suddenly my enemies would have seen you more as a plaything rather than the girlfriend I adored. I figured they would leave you alone and keep you out of this horrible world I live in. ” Brekker swallowed, eyes trained on the hands in his lap as told the one tale he had never intended to tell. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop now. Not when he was so deep.

“I have never regretted a decision more. I panicked and made a poor decision, one I should have spoken to you about first.” Brekker turned his head, his gaze apologetic as he looked up at her, “I’m sorry. And I know my apology isn’t worth it because I can never be sorry enough.” He straightened, lifting his shirt to somewhat reveal the bandages beneath. “This wound could never compare to the pain you went through following my absence. A hundred of these wounds couldn’t even compare. I made a mistake and it is one I can never seek redemption for because I will never be worthy enough.”

Releasing his shirt to let it fall, Brekker ran a shaky hand through his hair, gaze falling back to the floor. “I told you because I felt like you should know everything. I’m not asking for any sort of forgiveness. I just felt as if it were the least I could give you after all I’ve taken.” He explained, hands falling between his legs.

Emery's breath caught in her throat when he mentioned the man, the one he had killed those years ago. She gulped, her eyes glied to the flooring as she listened. Frozen, shocked. She didnt know what to say. But anger, it foashed through her hot and steady. She stood from the chair, moving away from him quickly. "You left before you thought i feared for my life? God Elias if i would have known any of this years ago i would have come running for you. After you. I would have held you and told you thank you. But you took that chance way from me." She took a deep breath. Her hands shaking with tears running down her face.

"But i forgave you even before you walked out that door. The second and third time too. And each time i watched you walk out, it was like a piece of me left with you. But i understood Elias, I have always understood every decision you made. No matter what." She murmured, leaning against the railing with a sigh.

Brekker flinched at her words, not because they hurt him, but any response from her would have caused him to react that way. At that moment, Brekker felt incredibly sensitive and jumpy, his admission having drained him and left him fearful of her reaction. In the end, the man could have easily expected her words, her sentences angry and sad. Although, Brekker did not regret telling her, happier with the truth out in the open. It was something that had always needed to be done but had unfortunately waited until now.

Her words rattled him, although Brekker had expected it. He had expected her to want to stay with him, to say that it would all be okay. “I know that’s what you would have done.” Brekker admitted his inner commentary sadly, “But I was terrified for you. Afraid you would end up losing your life for me. Even so, I should have handled it better.” Brekker told her, his voice quiet, just loud enough for her to hear and uncharacteristically weak.

But his head snapped up as she said she forgave him. Why? No… she shouldn’t have. She couldn’t have. “Emery, it’s best you don’t forgive me. You should stay with John and pursue the career you always wanted. All I ever did was take from you and give you nothing in return. You have to hate me, Emery.” Brekker pleaded, begging the woman not to tread down this path again.

God how he wanted her back. If only he could have her. “Because if you love me again… I…” Brekker bit his lip, eyes landing anywhere but on her, refusing to finish his phrase. “Emery you have to be the one to walk away this time.”

Emery shook her head, "Hate you? Elais what you fail to realize is what we had was more then love. It was almost like life, we created something out of this world. I will never be able to move on from something like that. We had the love of a lifetime." She murmured, eyes glued to the calm moving water as she turned away from him.

"I cant walk away. You cant ask me to do that after everything." She added, now the anger was returning. The numb feeling fading. "You dont have that right to deman i walk away. You need me to walk away? Elias...I need you to stay." She whispered, admitting the truth they both knew. They needed each other, like fire needed water to burn out.

Her words made him shudder. Brekker’s eyes squeezed shut, as he silently begged for her not to be right. His chest tightened and a hand came up to it, gripping the fabric of his shirt as if his life depended on it. It had been a while since he had felt so out of control. Her words plunged knives into his heart, threatening to break him. Why couldn’t she just listen to him? Didn’t she know how bad he was for her? That he would probably just hurt her again?

“Elias… I need you to stay.”

Brekker needed to get up. He needed to go back inside, gather his things, and leave, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t move. Brekker struggled to breathe as her words suffocated him. He opened his eyes, staring up at the sky for a few moments before allowing his gaze to travel to her, decision in his eyes. “Fine.” Brekker spoke, voice rough, “I’m here. I’ll stay.” He admitted, his gaze blazing with a hunger and passion only reserved for her. “But you have to come to me and make this decision yourself.”

The walk towards Elias was a short one, quickly not wasting anymore time being away from him. Her safe haven. She rushed towards him, careful of the shoulder and stood in front of his chair, looking down at him. Her heart hammering in her chest as she leaned down, "Elias Brekker, I need you to want me back again. I need you to tell me that its not over, you still need me too." She whimpered, wanting to cry bur fighting off the raw emotion. "You are the absolute most single handily the most stubborn man i have ever met." She grunted, rolling her eyes with a huff.

She leaned forward, her lips barely going to touch his when she pressed her lips to his, mouth moving slow against his own before the hunger of the years of seperation drove her to madness. She pulled away briefly, trying to catch her breath with a light hand resting in her chest. Was this a new start for them?

When she moved away, Brekker pulled her back down after a moment, his kiss ravenous and passionate. He kissed her like a man on a death row that had just been given his last meal. God how he loved her. The man tugged gently at one of her arms, encouraging her to climb into his lap, the man unworried about his wound when he just wanted her close. He wanted to feel the familiar curves of her body that felt like home. He wanted her close. Brekker wanted to hold her and never let go.

“I never said I didn’t need you, Emery.” The man murmured when he pulled away, hands snaking up to her hips, fingers digging intimately into the fabric of her pants. “I never said I didn’t want you…” He looked up, eyes vulnerable, yet heated. One of his hands moved to grab hers and he pressed a chaste kiss on the center of her palm. “I always felt like I couldn’t breathe, those years you weren’t by my side. I always wanted you back, but I was afraid of what I would do to you.” Brekker admitted and his eyes fell, letting her hand fall back to her side.

Only moments later did he look up at her again, wanting to read the look in her eyes. “I’m not a perfect man, far from it. I don’t deserve you and I never did.” He gave a nervous, broken chuckle, “But I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything Emery. I would sell my soul for you to look my way and give my life for a kiss. I will work to be someone you can be proud of and try my best to mend my past wrongs.” Brekker told her, determination sparking in him. He wanted to keep her. Brekker would have to make sure her safety was more secure, he would have to work to keep her hidden from the underground, but the man would give anything to have her by his side once more.

Emery sighed, her forehead pressed against his "Dont ever be afraid of be who you are Elias. I love you for who you are and have always. Sure i dont agree with your choices sometimes but my love will never fade. And I will always want you to come

back to me. Hell I've spent months praying." She uttered with a breathless laugh. "But perhaps we should

go inside? Everyone may comr looking."

//late and short €._ my muse is crap/:

Brekker sighed as she mentioned going back inside. Right… they weren’t alone. Emery still had a boyfriend that technically wasn’t him. Although he wasn’t happy he had to spend a weekend pretending, he would take it because at the end of the day, she wanted him and not John. “Well that ruins my plans.” Brekker jokingly huffed, “I was under the impression I could just sit out here with you all night long.” How long had it been since he had made a joke like that? It felt like forever.

After a moment, he got back to his feet, using the crutches to support himself. Personally, Brekker thought they were useless, but he was using them to put so much pressure on his wound. Hopefully, he would be able to ditch them soon. “You realize we have to keep up this act for the rest of the weekend, correct?” Brekker asked, hoping they were on the same page, “These people have been with me for years and you can’t do this to John in his family home.” As much as he wanted to spend this weekend with her now, he knew they still had parts to play.