Here it is! I decided not to do it from Ingall's perspective, at least for now. I may do that later, but we'll see. Enjoy! :D

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Masked By Anger

Characters; Eyphah and Ingall. Venia, Cassandera, Leiani, and the rest of the polycule mentioned

Word Count;

TWs; Swearing, (Self) dehumanization, Self-deprecating thoughts, Implied self-harm, Mentions of past physical, mental, and emotional neglect, Paranoia, ‘Mild’ panic attack, Threats of self-harm/physical violence, Messy writing (especially ending), and probably more

Notes; So, I got a sudden burst of motivation to write Eyphah, so now you get an Eyphah story, yay! This would take place sometime shortly after the twins arrive at the polycule’s, long enough that there’s a starting bond (a trigger for Eyphah, yippee!) but not long enough that they’re fully settled yet. Alright, enjoy! :)

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Eyphah lay staring at the ceiling. Venia was beside him, clinging as usual, her hands balled into fists around their shirt. Part of them wanted to turn over and bury his face into their siblings hair, just give in to the exhaustion and starting panic lingering in his chest, but he fought it. They needed to stay alert.

Besides, it wasn't like Venia would be the target of anything bad that would happen. The people here liked her enough. The people always liked her. They'd probably keep her around and decide that Eyphah was too much of a problem. Too unreliable. Too unpredictable. Too dangerous.

They'd probably kick him out. Or ignore them until he left himself.

Or maybe they'd be really cruel. Maybe they'd give them hope. Let them stay for a long time, feed him, tell them they cared, lie to his face, and then leave him out to die as soon as they let their guard down.

They'd probably end up on the streets again. Alone.

And he'd definitely deserve it.

Still, the thought caused a fresh jolt of panic to run up their spine and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a moment and shoved away the stinging feeling in his eyes.

He wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't get attached.

They'd just stay for as long as they were allowed, use up all the resorces, the attention, positive or negative, and take everything possible from these people. Hurt them before they could hurt him.

Eyphah sucked in a breath and twisted slightly, rolling his eyes when their sisters grip tightened. They'd get away from her too. Make sure she didn't rely on him anymore, make sure she hated him so that when they left she wouldn't even think of following.

Carefully, using the shit ton of practice he had from over the years, Eyphah grabbed Venia's near-by stuffed animal and skillfully wiggled out of her arms, quickly shoving the stuffed toy into her arms before she stirred too much. They watched for a moment as their sister seemed to collapse on herself, curling into a tight ball around the toy. As if she were cold.

Eyphah had never really understood that. People were usually meant to be peacful in sleep, right? Yet, Venia looked smaller and anxious somehow. Which was dumb, wasn't it? She had nothing to be afraid of. Not really.

Clenching their jaw, Eyphah turned away from the bed and crept toward the door. She was just being dumb. Obviously she had nothing to be afraid of. She was Venia. She was perfect. She would be fine.

The fear in his chest turned to anger in a matter of seconds, as if a switch had gone off in their brain, and Eyphah pushed the door open and stepped out into the hall.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, where they were going, but in that moment, he didn't want to be there anymore. They didn't want to think anymore. They just wanted to get away!

Unfortunately, he only made it about halfway down the hall before they heard a door open and, a few seconds later, Ingall appeared. Eyphah tensed immediately, prepared for a scolding about sneaking out. Or perhaps encouragement to get going and fuck off so the group didn't have to make a big deal of it all later.

Instead, Ingall's green eyes softened and he spoke in a quiet voice filled with something Eyphah couldn't identify.

"Hello Eyphah, are you alright?"

"The fuck does it look like, asshole?!" The words slipped out before they could stop them, but Ingall didn't even blink, just nodded slightly, a gesture Eyphah assumed was more to himself than anyone else, and spoke again in that same tone.

"May I ask where you're going?"

"None of your fuckin' business!"

The man hummed quietly. "Alright, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want, but I would prefer if you stay inside. It's cold tonight and currently raining. Perhaps I can make you some tea or a snack and we can sit together. We can talk or watch something if you'd like, or you can sit as far away from me as you'd like, just as long as you're safe with a roof over your head. Deal?"

Eyphah glared for a moment, wanting to snap back again, but, in all honesty, the offer of warm tea and food sounded lightyears better than walking out into the rainy cold. "Fine. But only for food, I'm not... You didn't do shit."

Ingall nodded calmly. "Noted. Let's go to the kitchen then."

He started walking and Eyphah faltered before lagging behind, reluctantly taking a seat at the opposite end of the kitchen from where they knew Ingall would be preparing everything.

"Lemon-ginger with honey?"

They grunted their approval and then began tracing shapes into the table with his finger as Ingall moved around.

Soon, the sweet smell of herbal tea filled the air and the tall blonde walked over and carefully set a glass of the golden liquid in front of them, accompanied by one of the chocolate-chip cookies Nico, Venia, Cassandera, and Leiani had made the day before. Then, Ingall walked back, got a cup of his own, and slid gracefully into the seat across from them.

Silence lapsed and Eyphah nibbled at the edges of his cookie and sipped at their tea, shooting glances over at the accompaning figure, believing they would catch him glaring or wrinkling his nose at them eventually. Something that would indicate that the man actually did hate him and this was all one big ruse.

But no.

Instead, Ingall sipped his own tea and watched calmly, offering a small smile every once in a while but never saying anything to break the quiet. Never rolling his eyes in annoyance or shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He seemed completely relaxed and content.

Which was bullshit.

No one who had ever been around Eyphah had ever been relaxed or content.

Except maybe Venia, but that didn't count because she didn't know any better.

Finally, after what must have been at least fifteen minutes of pure silence, they slammed a hand down on the table and met Ingall's unwavering gaze with his own angry one.

"Why are you doing this?"

Ingall tilted his head slightly. "Doing what?"

"You know-" He sputtered, waving their hand toward the half-eaten cookie and partially empty glass in front of him. "This. Why are you being- Why are you still fucking here?!"

"Because I care about you, and I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and didn't run off and place yourself into unnecassary danger."

The response was swift and straightforward, but if caught Eyphah completely off guard. How could someone say something so incredibly wrong withought even a slight pause or uncertain movement?

"You don't. You don't care!" The response sounded weak, even to his own ears, but Ingall, yet again, didn't even pause, eyes never losing their softness, voice never breaking or altering from that damn gentle tone.

"I do. We all do. You mean a lot to us, Eyphah, whether you want to see it or not."

They clenched their fists and shook his head, a lump forming in his throat that they fought back for a moment before managing to respond.

"Then what's the catch?"

His voice was quieter now, slightly strained, and they struggled against the stinging in his eyes. And this time, Ingall did waver, but not in the way expected. His eyes flashed with genuine confusion and his hand shifted slightly around his mug.

"What do you mean?"

Eyphah shook his head and pointed accusatorially. "The fucking catch! What is it? What do you want from me?"

"There's no catch-"

"There's always a catch!" He spoke quickly, breathing picking up again as their vision blurred against their will. "There's always a catch, okay?! Nothing's for free, you don't just care! Not about... Not about me! The only reason anyone would keep me around is because they want something, so what is it?! Entertainment? Work? What the fuck is it, huh?! What's makin' you lie to me like this? What's so damn important that you have to lead me on with words like that?! Sayin' I mean a lot to you and shit?! You don't even know me!"

"I did mean it, Eyphah. We do care because you're a good kid-"

"Am not! I'm a horrible kid! Everyone says it! I just- I destroy shit, I hurt people, I'm an idiot, and I take everything out on everyone else! I suck!"

"You don't." They started to protest again, but Ingall held up a hand. He was standing now, and a few paces closer, but still a good distance away, watching Eyphah with growing concern and that damn gentleness that still remained. "You're very smart, which you've already proven in your short time here with how quickly you pick up skills like drawing and strategy, and you're curious and willing to learn, which are great characteristics. And you don't hurt everyone you're around, I think your sister is proof enough of that. You protect her, and even when you pretend not to care you still have her back. You shouldn't feel like you have to protect anyone, that shouldn't be your job, but the fact that you were stong, brave, and kind enough to take up that role speaks volumes to me. You are a good kid, Eyphah, I'm so sorry that no one ever told you so, but I promise you that me and my partners do care and we will continue to care even if you don't believe us. We want to help and protect you, to make sure that you feel safe and welcome so that you can grow and be healthy and continue to be amazing. You don't have to agree with everything we say and do, you don't have to care about us in return, and you don't have to be anything other than yourself. No matter what, we will care about and love you. I can only ask that you let us stay around you long enough to prove that." Part of them still wanted to protest, to fight back, but at this point, he was shaking and, against his will, tears were starting to fall. Desperately, they wiped at their face and fought his instinct to curl into a tiny ball on the floor. Ingall took another step forward and opened his arms, seeming uncertain for the first time that night. "It's alright to cry, Eyphah, I won't judge you, I promise... Would you like a hug?"

The idea of a hug was a confusing one. Outside of their sister, he couldn't remember the last time anyone had touched them in a non-hostile way. Yet...

Sniffling and unsteady, Eyphah got up and stumbled into Ingall's arms, unable to keep from flinching when the other's arms gently wrapped around him.

For a while, they just stayed like that until, finally, he grabbed enough air in his lungs to speak. "If you tell anyone about this I'll fuckin' kill you. Especially Venia. She can't know I cried. Got it."

"Understood." Eyphah pulled away and wiped at his eyes again, catching the ghost of a smile on Ingall's lips before averting their gaze once more. "What do you say about heading back to bed now? I'm sure your sister is missing you and you that way can wake up early enough to join us for pancakes in the morning. Does that sound alright?"

He huffed and crossed their arms, ignoring the fact that his eyes were sore and likely rimmed with red, and nodded in what they hoped was a nonchalant way. "Whatever."

"Alright. Good night, Eyphah."

They started walking back to the room they shared with Venia and nodded slightly. "Yeah. Sure."