Granted, but they all hate you.

I wish to have everything i wish for to come true irl

Granted, but the bad wishes come true as well and you regret making those wishes.

--

I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, however, after being granted the ability to lift things at will you soon learn you have no control over where the item goes or what it does once lifted.

~*~*~*~

I wish for this wish to not get corrupted. >:3

Granted, however, that was the last wish you could ever make!

---

I wish for my headache to go away .

Granted, though next time you'll have a migraine! :O

-

i wish for my cat to stop biting me

Granted, your cat doesn't bite you anymore... But every other cat that sees you does.

--

I wish that I would stop accidentally double posting.

Granted but now you triple post.

--------------

I wish that my waterbottle wasn't broken.

Granted, but now you can only drink from that water bottle for the rest of your life.

--------------------------

I wish I could fall asleep whenever I want for however long I want to.

Granted, though each time you do it your chances of never waking up gets higher and higher

-

I wish that I have all A's on my report card

Granted, now a horse riding warrior known as Gyoubu Masataka Oniwa shall chase you down and rip up that perfect report card in your face.

~

I wish I had a new pair of shoes, all of mine are really old.