Enjoy a song lyric thing now for Yrja and Machai while also hinting/mentioning Preacher a lot. Trying to figure out how to do the duet bit was hard lmao

-

Song: Codeine Coca Cola by Amélie Farren.

(With some slight adjustments to the lyrics to avoid as much repeating and make it more accurate to characters in certain places)

Characters: Machai and Yrja. Preacher’s mentioned and implied a lot.

Context:

Have a song about Machai and Yrja’s friendship. Also about, mostly, Machai’s past. A lot of it has to do with Preacher, honestly. Which probably makes sense given that he was the closest thing to a best friend the system had before Kimashia made them desert their post and left Preacher behind.

*~*~*~*

*We start with Machai telling Yrja about his life. Because, yeah, he seriously sees nothing wrong in how he grew up. My boy thinks he’s got zero trauma and that his childhood was just fine.*

Machai, just setting the scene for the fact that he was a child soldier; “Pissed off, dark sky, indecivise war cry.”
Mchai, going over how defying orders would, of course, result in punishment from superiors, and using what happened to Preacher as the biggest example; “Angels fired bullets to the skeletons who dare defy.”

Machai, literally just describing Preacher to Yrja; “Preacher, painless reaper of the blameless– Obsessing over virtue, sin within the shameless…”

Machai, describing Preacher’s prayer beads, you know, just to further illustrate his old friend to Yrja; “The thorns are held in precious wooden beads…”

Machai, describing the superiors and the relationship there was between them and the inferiors; “Fury at the mares inside their stall… Silence keeps them satisfied, and misery is safe.”

Machai, kind of just hinting towards Preacher and him having grown somewhat close and how that worked in the environment they were in; “Caution in creation of the call.”

Machai, just some more hints towards the different types of endurance training; “My power stems from codeine coca cola– Opioids within the shell that I refuse to call a brain.”

Machai, literally just going over his mindset a little now, the lesson he’s kept from his childhood the most; “Submit to purpose, bow to pride, ignore the entity inside.”

Machai, again just hinting towards fun endurance training, but also hinting at his mindset some more; “Poppy keeps me paranoid– Or is it sane?”

*Now we actually go back to when Yrja and Machai had first met and proceeded to absolutely trauma dump on each other as if it’s a fucking competition. Just throwing back and forth stuff they went through until it delves off into things they’d heard people say in the past. This then jumps to Yrja leaving with Machai and then Machai giving the same talk that he gives above.*

Machai, just listing off that trauma that he doesn’t realize is trauma at all; “Seared flesh, sharp knives–”

Yrja, kind of admitting that, yeah, okay, that’s a bit much for a first meeting, let’s tone it down; “Ditzy, hopeless housewives.”

Machai, being reminded of something and quoting Preacher; “‘Ewes are worthless, ensure the lamb survives.’”
Yrja, being reminded of something in turn and quoting some of what the people that her adoptive mother brought over would say about her; “‘Cheated.’ ‘Skipped turn.’”

Machai, bringing up the instances of the unit he was in utilizing the scorched earth strategy to basically use like a ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’ sort of thing because that’s just the kind of guy he is; “Heated, watch the grass burn.”

Machai, and in turn reminding himself of something else Preacher said to him and quoting it; “‘The dead are only dying faster, living never learn.’”

Yrja, derailing into trauma again, oops, just because that quote kind of lends itself to that happening, basically saying that her adoptive mother isn’t really actually in her life; “The crown is held in empty woollen robes…”

Yrja, switching it up practically immediately to instead compliment Machai and basically tell him that she’s enjoyed talking to him; “Passion for the people with a voice.”

Yrja, after being encouraged to continue trauma dumping by Machai; “Silence keeps her satisfied, and misery is safe.”

Yrja, after leaving her adoptive mother’s house with Machai, about Machai; “Hark the herald angels who rejoice.”

Machai, and now we’re right back to Machai going over endurance training and mindsets and his past in general; “My power stems from codeine coca cola– Opioids within the shell that I refuse to call a brain. Submit to purpose, bow to pride, ignore the entity inside. Poppy keeps me paranoid– Or is it sane?”

*And now we reach Machai and Yrja doing one of their duets. They’re hilarious. Machai’s a total theatrical sorta guy and Yrja kind of likes to mix theatrics and dance/ballet.*

Machai, gesturing towards Yrja; “Hear the fear it brought her–”

Machai, gesturing as though he’s rallying troops; “Call forth the river’s slaughter!”

Machai, shifting to standing at attention; “Hell or highest water, I will not give in.”

Yrja, combining theatric gestures with different ballet points/moves/gestures to make very smooth theatric gesturing; “Feel the fear it brought me? The river’s current fought me– Goddess Ocean, blue sea, I did not give in.”

Machai, gesturing towards Yrja again; “Hear the fear it brought her–”

Machai, gesturing as though rallying troops again; “Call forth the river’s slaughter!”

Machai, still gesturing as though he’s rallying before moving to hit his fist against his heart while standing at attention; “Hell or highest water– I will not give in!”

Yrja, using mostly theatrics now to instead gesture around and convey a sort of determined fury; “Feel the fear it brought me! The river’s current fought me– Goddess Ocean Blue, see, I did not give in!”

Yrja, using and slightly shifting/twisting Machai’s past words as she goes back to doing a mix of theatrics and ballet for that smoothness; “My power stems from codeine coca cola, opioids within the pool I wish I still could call a brain… Submit to purpose? Bow to pride? Accept the entity inside. Poppy keeps me paranoid… Or is it sane?”

*Still part of the duet, but this is all done in a relative unison.*

Yrja, using less of both theatrics and ballet/dance as if she’s calming down/losing steam as she goes on now; “My power stems from codeine coca cola…”

Machai, gesturing first towards Yrja and then as if rallying; “Hear the fear it brought her! Call forth the river’s slaughter!”

Yrja, almost completely still now; “Opioids within the pool I wish I still could call a brain…”

Machai, still rallying at first and then beats his fist against his chest; “Hell or highest water– I will not give in!”

Machai, shifting to standing at attention and then bowing; “Submit to purpose, bow to pride.”

Yrja, slowly picking up steam again; “Hear the fear it brought me?”

Machai, shifting back to attention, slowly gesturing to seem a little more smooth than he usually does; “Accept the entity inside?”

Yrja, basically just theatrics for a quick, sudden gesture before the end; “The river’s current fought me!”

Machai, shifting to attention to end it; “Poppy keeps me paranoid… Or is it sane?”

Yrja, slowing down to a stop; “Goddess Ocean, blue sea, I did not give in.”

I love the quotes, they're all gold XD

And everyone is fucking insane, poor Marz is going to be scrambling to keep everyone out of trouble, lmao

-

And I love the song! It's amazing, and Yrja and Machai are awesome

I feel bad for Machai though, haha

The song lyric thing is wonderful and I love it

Absolutely splendid

I've been collecting more quotes, so here you go, some are wholesome/funny and some are angsty, lmao

Most of the angst is Marz angst because he is rotting my brain, oops-

You do get more crumbs for the Heath/Marz lore though!

-

Marz: “You shouldn't be anywhere near the fight! You're too important!”

Undine, frustrated and visibly upset, pushed against Marz’s outstretched arm: “I am not!”

Marz, gritting his teeth: “Yes, you are!”

Undine: “No!”

Marz, losing it, starting to cry without even realizing: “Why won't you just let me do this for you, Surya?!?”

-

*Fun fact, while Marz smiles almost constantly, he never really laughs, outside of maybe a forced chuckle*

Machai, talking to Marz one night: “In fact! Between my brawn and your brains, I’d say we make a pretty good team!”

Marz, nodding slightly: “We do. Although, technically I have both brains and brawn.”

Machai, grinning: “True, but I have personality and the winning smile, so-!”

*Marz laughs, a real laugh for the first time since meeting the group*

Machai, gasping and grinning even bigger: “Was that a laugh?!?! Did I make you laugh, Marz?!?”

Marz, blushing in embarrassment and looking away: “Shut up…”

-

*Ovid jumped/climbed somewhere he shouldn't have and a very worried Faust runs to tell Marz*

Marz, glaring up at a very amused Ovid who's refusing to cooperate: “Ovid! What the fuck are you doing?!? How did you get up there?!?”

*Marz, relaying the story to Machai and Maya later*

Marz, looking very tired: “So, yeah, we got him down… And I grounded him for the next couple of weeks-”

-

Marz, clinging to a dead Pippa, having an absolute breakdown as Omen tries (and fails) to help him calm down: “No… no, no, no, no, please! Please! This wasn't supposed to happen! Please, come back! I'm sorry! I can still fix this! Please, please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! This wasn't supposed to happen!”

-

*After the fight with Surya*

Marz, flinching and then blinking in confusion as Pippa gently puts a hand on his shoulder, eyes sad but not angry: “And then he put his on my shoulder for a second, he didn't even squeeze it, he just, like, rested his hand on my shoulder, and I was just thinking ‘How can he not hate me? How could this guy possibly not hate me?! How could he not- How could he not hate me?!?’”

-

Marz, mimicking Surya: “Marz you forget yourself!”

Marz growing serious, eyes darkening as he turns to Surya: “Surya, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow, act like it. Maybe it's not a coincidence that every single idea you've ever had has failed under your guidance. You are a walking second-place medal.”

-

*Jueun, Faust’s adopted older brother and also the person who Faust knew/stayed with the longest (two years), and the last real conversation they had before Jueun died*

Faust, teary-eyed, holding onto Jueun’s hand tightly as he lays in a hospital bed: “Jueun? Will I ever see you again?”

Jueun, trying not to cry, forcing a smile for his little brother: “Sure… Sure you will, kid. You know, goodbyes aren't forever!”

Faust, too young to fully grasp what's happening, smiling through tears and pulling himself into Jueun's bed to hug him: “Then… goodbye, Jueun! I love you.”

Jueun, no longer able to keep from crying, pulling Faust closer and holding on tightly: “Yeah… I love you too.”

-

*So, Faust actually has a lot of trouble trusting people, but especially older people (aka, anyone older than, like, 15) because he hasn't really had a good experience with anyone that's older than that. This will probably shine through a lot in early interactions with Marz and the system, especially, though he won't ever be super direct about, more just cautious*

Marz, attempting to have a productive conversation with Faust after realizing how drawn back he is: “Not all adults are like that, there are good people, who-”

Faust, finally snapping: “Then why didn't anyone save me?!? If the world is so good, why didn't anyone help me escape?!?”

*There's a stunned silence before Faust takes a shaky breath and turns around, wiping his eyes as he walks away, grabbing Ovid's arm as he does so, silently seeking comfort*

Faust, shaking slightly but refusing to acknowledge what just happened: “Welp, doesn't matter! What I said just now? That isn't how I really feel! That was acting!”

-

*Faust and Ovid in school for some reason, I don't fucking know the situation, lmao. TW, usage of the f slur*

The principal: “I'm afraid we have no choice but to expel the kid.”

Marz, glaring at the principal, deadly angry and scarily calm: “What did the kid call him?”

The principal, raising an eyebrow: “What?”

Marz, unfazed, glaring daggers at the guy while Machai crosses his arms beside him: “You know, the kid, the one Ovid hit in the face, what did he call Faust?”

The principal, grimacing slightly: “I don't think that's relevant to this conversation-”

Marz, gritting his teeth: “Did he call him a faggot?”

The principal, pausing: “I believe that's the word that was used, yes. But that's no excuse-”

Marz, standing, Machai following his lead: “So that makes it a hate crime.”

The principal: “What…?”

Marz: “A hate crime. And I'd like to know how many others have been perpetrated against our kids under your watch. A gay student targeted with physical violence finally defends himself, and your, what? Suspending him?”

The principal, growing uncertain: “We could consider suspension…”

Marz, eyes flashing with power: “No, you couldn't. I'll be interested to see what everyone else thinks of you when this is in front of the entire country. Not to mention our family.”

Marz, turning toward Machai: “What do you think? Do you want to take care of them?”

The secretary of the school: “I- I don't, uh-”

Machai, grinning and cracking his knuckles: “I’ll take care of them and the school board.”

-

Heath, lifting Marz’s face during an argument, eyes dark with anger: “You come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you. You were born broken, that's your birthright. And now, you can fill your life with projects, and your books, and your movies, all your little girlfriends. But it won't make you whole. You're just Marz, and there's no cure for that.”

-

*Omen just being the best sibling figure for Marz as he's dealing with Pippa's death*

Omen, mostly just trying to make sure Heath isn't around: “Where's Heath?”

Marz, looking up and shrugging, forcing a smile: “Oh, he's probably out with friends again…”

Omen, sighing and taking a few steps forward: “Marz.”

Marz, looking over, clearly exhausted, eyes red-rimmed from crying: “Yeah?”

Omen, eyes dark with worry: “It's not your fault.”

Marz, brow furrowing in confusion: “What?”

Omen, repeating themself: “It's not your fault.”

Marz, looking away, shoulders tensing: “I know.”

Omen, shaking his head and repeating himself again: “It's not your fault.”

Marz, gritting his teeth, fighting back panic: “I know.”

Omen, shaking their head again, becoming more insistent, knowing damn well Marz doesn't believe them: “No. Marz, Marz, it's not your fault.”

Marz, clenching his hands, starting to breathe faster: “Don't do this to me man, not you, man!”

Omen, pushing forward, approaching Marz: “It’s not your fault!”

Marz, finally breaking down: “Screw you, cut it out, man!”

Omen, walking over and pulling Marz into a hug: “It's not your fault.”

Marz, finally just sobbing, collapsing into Omen’s arms: “Why is it so hard?!? I didn't know it was going to be so hard!”

-

Perrin (a friend of Heath's), sighing and looking at Marz who's strapped to a table, struggling: “Your behavior is non-standard.”

Marz, 8 years old, struggling, tears in his eyes: “Please, I'm begging you! Please don't get rid of me!”

Perrin, slightly guilty, looking away: “I'm sorry, honey, but defective models have to be eliminated, that's my job. If a client comes back with a complaint and your still here, I'm going to have some explaining to do!”

Marz struggling harder, starting to fully panic: “I won't cause any problems, I promise! I'll do everything I'm asked, I won't say another word! I won't think anymore! I've only just been born, you can't kill me yet! Stop! Will you please stop! I'm scared!”

*Perrin freezes at the least words and Marz looks up, sobbing but no longer struggling*

Marz, shaky: “I want to live… I'm begging you…”

-

*Undine's father, who rarely came home and worked across seas, coming home for the first time since Undine's birth (and last time before Undine’s mother's death)*

Undine's father, brow furrowing as he walks in and sees no sign of childhood life: “Where's my daughter?”

Undine's mother, smiling slightly: “She’s in school.”

Undine's father, tensing: “It’s Saturday, honey… school's not in on Saturday…”

Undine's mother, tilting her head: “My school is.”

Undine's father, freezing, eyes widening, and then rushing to the freezer room, pulling open the lid to find a shivering and half-alive, 6 year old Undine: “Oh my god… Oh my god! No!”

-

Heath, confronting Marz after he had a fight with some other kid: “You tell me, do you enjoy hurting people?”

Marz, looking away: “I don't believe-”

Heath, continuing to push: “Do you enjoy killing?!”

Marz, snapping: “I'll kill you!”

Heath, taking a step back and crossing his arms: “What, like you did Pippa?”

-

Undine's mother, resting her hand on Undine's (5) head and smiling at them in the mirror: “I'm so proud to have you as my daughter.”

Undine (8), gritting their teeth when thinking back on that day: “Yeah right. If you were so proud, why didn't you let me go outside?”

Undine's mother, smiling at Undine (5): “You're so adorable I have to keep you all to myself!”

Undine (8), tearing up as they're once again locking in the freezer: “You’re ashamed of me…”

Undine's mother, looking Undine (5) directly in the eye: “Sweetheart! I love you! I would die for you. You know that, right?”

Undine (8), constipating running away: “Why do you always say stuff like that?!? How can you love somebody when you never acknowledge who they really are?!”

Undine (8), thinking back to the night their father came home and pulled them out of the freezer, remembering what he said: “”She loves you. Your mother loves you more than anything in the world…””

Undine (8), snapping, clawing at their hair: “Stop it, you're wrong!! Don't force that love on me…”

-

*AU T8P with villain Briar and Akira, Briar kills Akira as well as almost everyone else to avenge an already dead Aries and then killed themself as well*

Bri, having a conversation with Akira in the afterlife: “I sacrificed a ton, and I was freaking awesome!”

Akira, laughing slightly: “What did you ever sacrifice?

Bri, growing more serious, looking over in mild anger: “I gave everything. I gave my whole life!”

Akira, unconvinced, looking away: “You died in a hedonistic way.”

Bri, losing it, angry and upset: “I'm not talking about my death, I'm talking about my life! I have my whole life!”

-

Akira, having an argument with Romilly, who decides to show up at the polycule's home uninvited and ridicule them: “How ‘bout for once, you just try to be a mom?!”

Romilly, crossing her arms: “I am your mother, but I am not ‘just a mom.’ And you are not a child.”

Akira, gritting their teeth and looking away: “I never was.”

-

*I don't know what the situation would be, but I could see something like this happening, mostly because Undine has a major jealousy problem. Not just with, like, romance stuff, but just with any form of attention. If they see someone getting more attention than them they're gonna have a problem because, you know, insecurity and all that*

Undine, snapping at Faust who was telling a story about him and Ovid to Marz, Maya, and Machai: “Do you ever honestly shut up about Ovid?! It's always; “Oh, how's Ovid?” “I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Ovid!” “I'm so worried about Ovid!” And he's always five-fucking-feet away from you, it's pathetic!”

-

Marz, glaring at a bloodied Surya: “And the only reason you're alive right now is because I. Let. You. Live.”

-

*Someone “kidnapped” Faust. I like to imagine this is later in the timeline, like, where the system and Marz at least are fully adults*

Faust, looking up at the kidnapper, slightly anxious but honestly more annoyed at this point, knowing damn well what's about to happen: “I'm telling you man, you're making a bigggg mistake here.”

Kidnapper, huffing: “Ha! Bigger mistake than being a criminal? I'm mistake-proof!”

Kidnapper, shoving Faust into a room with his boss: “Sorry to bother, boss! I caught this kid walking around our turf!”

Boss, absolute panicking, slapping the kidnapper: “You big, precious, moron! Did you know who the fuck- This is Faust!! The kid who hangs with Marz and Machai?!?”

Faust, shrugging as he’s uncuffed by another guy: “Tried to warn you, man…”

Kidnapper: “Marz and Machai?”

Boss, absolutely freaking out: “Well-known legend? The psychopaths who are able to destroy us without even trying?!? Christ, they're gonna turn me into a sandwich! What is this guy, fuckin’ new?!”

Other goon: “Uhhh, I think he's a Dylan rec, boss-”

Boss: “Well check Dylan's fuckin' references next time! Whatever this kid wants to do in our territory is his business! Fuck! FUCK! Call my wife, we gotta prep to go bags 3, 2, 6!”

Boss, still panicking, turning to Faust: “Hey pal! You good? You whole?”

Faust, leaning back, honestly kind of amused: “Uh- you guys have milkshakes?”

Boss, nodding: “We will learn what those are and get you one!”

-

*Revan having a conversation with little Leiani*

Revan, confused: “Wait- Can you, again, ask me what you just asked me? What was that question? I don't think- I didn't hear you-”

Leiani, oblivious: “When can we have lesbian?”

Revan, holding back a laugh, nodding: “Mhm. Okay, maybe I did hear you right. Um- I don't know what that- I don't know what that is, sweetie, I don't know what you mean…”

Leiani, huffing: “Lesbian!”

Revan, nodding trying to figure out what she's actually talking about: “No, I know- I know… I know what you said, but I don't think that word means what you think it means. Okay?”

Leiani, trying to explain better, slightly annoyed Revan isn't getting it: “It's like spaghetti.”

Revan, doing everything in his power not to laugh, having to take a second: “Excuse me. Um- Do you you mean lasagna?”

Leiani, lighting up again: “Yep!”

Revan, smirking slightly: “Okay!”

-

Enemy, pointing at Machai: “You're just a child with a mask.”

Machai, grinning, ready to beat his ass: “Suck these nuts!”

-

Garvin, calling Akira: “I'm just at general…”

Akira, immediately panicking: “You're at the hospital?! What? Why?!? What happened?!? Did someone come after you?!?”

Garvin, trying to calm him down: “No! No, no, no, no! Nothing like that, it's just… uh… I… I kinda jumped off a bridge…”

Akira, even more panicked: “YOU WHAT?!?”

-

*Someone runs into Faust on accident*

Person, apologetic: “Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!”

Faust, smiling slightly and accepting a hand up: “Oh, it's fine, don't even worry about it!”

Ovid, rushing over and fucking flinging the guy away: “No! It's not fine! What the fuck?!?”

-

*Grown up gang hanging out*

Machai, grabbing wine: “You guys want a glass of wine?”

Marz, looking over and smiling: “Yeah, I'll have one!”

Maya, nodding: “Yeah, me too!”

Faust, looking up: “Oh, I'll have one!”

*Marz and Maya freeze, looking at each other*

Marz, in shock: “What?”

Maya, also confused: “Excuse me?!?”

Marz: “The fuck? You're like 12!”

Maya, nodding: “If that!”

Faust, even more confused: “What- I’m 21!”

Marz and Maya, in mutual disgust: “Oh God! Ew! No! No, no, no!”

Faust, raising an eyebrow: “I am.”

Marz, closing his eyes: “No.”

Maya, shaking her head: “Nope.”

Faust, in disbelief: “I drove here! I'm the one who brought the wine!”

*Marz makes noises to drown out Faust*

Faust, sighing: “Can you stop?”

Marz, shaking his head: “No, ‘cause if you're that old then we're… oh… we're fucking old…”

Maya, almost crying: “We're fucking ancient, man!”

Marz, taking a deep breath: “No. No.”

Maya: “I refuse.”

Machai, walking back in holding wine glasses, handing one to Faust first: “Here you go, Faust!”

Faust, smiling: “Thank you!”

Marz, gritting his teeth: “No! Put it back!”

Maya: “Walk away!”

Marz: “You go get him an apple juice. I don't wanna hear any of that shit again!”

Faust, done with their shit while Machai snickers: “Seriously?”

-

*Marz and his old group shenanigans*

Surya, grinning and laughing while the others listen: “Marz, call me a good girl! Like, you know, give me the best praise buff I've ever received in my life!”

Marz, snickering, while an annoyed Jarek puts her hands over Fiacla’s ears, already done: “Oh, here, Surya: you're such a good girl.”

Pippa, appearing, face already slightly flushed while Surya beams and blushes, Jarek rolls their eyes in disgust, and Fiacla watches in confusion: “Treat me like that, holy fuck!”

Marz, grinning as Surya bursts into laughter: “Pippa, you're such a good fucking boy!”

Pippa, blushing incredibly hard, celebrating: “Yes I am!!! Let's goooo!!!”

-

*After Eyphah's been with the polycule for a while, sitting beside Akira with Venia asleep on his other side, hesitant but wanting to talk*

Eyphah, hesitant, not looking Akira in the eye as they ask: “What's the bravest thing you've ever said?”

Akira, after thinking for a moment, answering honestly: “Help.”

*Eyphah looks up in surprise and Akira smiles slightly, taking Eyphah's hand*

Akira: “Asking for help isn't giving up, it's refusing to give up.”

-

*T8P villain Nico, Bernard, Briar, and Aries AU*

Akira, blinking in mild confusion, turning to Ingall: “Guys, my mentor just got kidnapped by the villains-”

Ingall, looking up: “Oh my god, that's terrible!”

Akira, who's honestly done with Fher at this point anyway: “I know, I kinda feel bad… but you know what? They brought this upon themselves.”

*With Briar, Aries, and the misfits*

Kyra, glaring at a very unamused Fher: “What are we supposed to do with him?!”

Bri, shrugging and leaning against Aries: “I dunno, but this was your idea, so you are in charge of the asshole.”

Fher, looking pretty weak for an ancient deity: “You know what, you guys are grounded! No murder or Xbox for a week.”

Aries, already holding up a weapon: “Can I stab him?”

Fher, seething: “All of the loyal eight are going to be here any minute now and then it's over for you guys!”

Nico, walking into the base casually, with Bernard close behind: “Heyo! We brought Just Dance 4 and food! Y’all ever had corn nuts?”

Fher, grinning: “Sound, Health, it's you! I knew you would come and save me!”

Nico, faltering: “Time elder! We… yes! We knew you were here and that's why we came to the villains hideout, to save you! And definitely not for game night and to gossip with Ali-”

Bri, grinning: “Oh, you got snacks! Sick! Thanks, Nicky and Berry!”

Bernard, after a pause: “So, who wants to dance?”

-

Maya, in disbelief: “I- Did you just refer to a knife as a ‘human opener?!’”

Ovid, blinking innocently: “Should I not have?”

-

Garvin, to Revan: “Hey!”

Revan, without looking up: “What?”

Garvin, grinning: “Who would be the first person in our family to do drugs?”

Revan, brow furrowing: “You do drugs now.”

Garvin, huffing: “No I don't! It's medication!”

Revan, looking up: “That's not medication you have!”

Garvin, crossing his arms: “Yeah it is!”

Revan, shaking his head: “You had a headache three days ago and you took 40 Tylenol!”

Garvin, protesting: “I head a headache!”

Revan: “You shouldn't be alive!!”

Garvin: “...”

Revan: “...”

Revan, sighing: “I'm glad you're still here though.”

Gravin, grinning: “Ha, thank you!”

-

Undine's mother, taking a drag from her cigarette and sitting down in her chair as a young Undine sits close to the TV: “Don’t sit so close to the TV, it'll make you cruel.”

*Undine's mother takes another drag as Undine gets up and moves away from the TV, looking over as their mother speaks*

Undine's mother, tone annoyed: “You know, I was beautiful, before I got pregnant.”

Undine, who's heard this all before, nodding and looking down guilty: “I know.”

Undine's mother, glaring at her child as if they're the scum of the Earth: “You ruined me, Undine.”

Undine, clenching her fists in their lap and flinching: “I know.”

Undine's mother, continuing to glare: “You better grow up to be something great, to make up for all the damage you've done!”

Undine, nodding guiltily, voice small: “I will.”

Undine's mother, smiling and standing, rolling her shoulders back: “Okay! Enough me being a great mom! I'm gonna go hide your father's heart medication! Enjoy your dumb little TV show.”

-

*Faust and Ovid are aged up here, maybe ~16? So the communication is better on Ovid's end and all, lmao. This could also very easily work for any version of Briar and Nico, lol*

Random guy, referring to potentially dating Faust: "When you start dating someone and their best friend says "Don't hurt them or else..." Or else what?!"

Ovid, grinning and stepping forward: "I've been waiting for this one! Here's what I'll do. I will start by injecting a high dose of insulin under your tongue while you're sleeping. You will die of high blood pressure and the scar will never be found. I will then take your body 2 hours away from where I live, so that I'm out of the standard geographical area. Once we're out in the middle of nowhere, I will dig a 12 foot hole. I will put your body in the hole, bury it half way, stick a dead animal carcass directly on top, and fill up the hole. If the police figure out that that's where I brought your body, the dogs will come sniffing and just find the animal carcass, and the police will assume that that's all there was. If they find your body, insulin doesn't even appear on a standard toxicology report. If they test specifically for insulin, they'll find it in your system and just assume you had and undiagnosed diabetes. Don't hurt my best friend, or else."

-

Briar, kneeling in front of a panicking Aries: "Do you know how much I love you? I love you more than everything."

Aries, looking up with glossy eyes: "Everything...?"

Briar, smiling: "Everything."

-

Marz, sitting and reading, slowly turning confused: "Wow! A surprisingly peaceful and domestic moment! When will it be ruined?"

Undine, bursting in: "MARZZZZ!"

Marz, nodding to himself and closing the book: "There it is."

-

Garvin, who's been ranting to Ingall about a show for hours: "God! They make me so angry! Anyways, that's why I hate them... Sorry, I've been talking a lot, are you doin' okay?"

Ingall, blinking, looking over: "Yeah! Yeah, no, I'm good! I'm fine! Don't worry!"

Garvin, panicking slightly after noticing signs of discomfort from Ingall: "Are you sure? I feel really bad, I've been talking a lot and you've just been sitting there listening to me... I feel like I'm just, like, oversharing or mansplaining..."

Ingall, shaking his head, still looking slightly out of it: "No, you're good! I'm just really overstimulated right now, so this is good for me."

Garvin, panicking even more: "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I did not mean to overstimulate you! That, like- Information overload! That's my bad!"

Ingall, brow furrowing: "No! No! You don't understand. You talking is good, everything else is bad."

Garvin, starting to spiral out of guilt and self-hatred: "I feel so bad! I know what it's like to just have too much information dumped on you, I'm really sorry for info dumping like that, I just-"

Ingall, grabbing Garvin's arm: "Listen here you little shit! The world right now is too loud and too bright, and the only thing keeping me sane right now is you talking at me. I may not be absorbing any of the information, but I'm definitely hearing it. And the drone of you talking about something you love and care about is the only thing keeping me from crying right now, do you understand me?!"

Garvin, surprised by the uncharacteristic outburst: "Um... O-okay?"

Ingall, taking a deep breath: "So where were you? Talking about the technology in Star Trek?"

Garvin, still confused: "Yeah... yeah, yeah... Star Trek is cool..."

Ingall, snapping again, about to lose it due to sensory overload: "Keep talking!"

Garvin, jumping slightly: "Okay!"

The incorrect quotes we absolutely amazing and I loved them!

Admittedly, the second one also works flipped, given that the only time Machai really laughs is when he's beating someone up and other than that, he really doesn't laugh much if at all.

Glad you like them!

And I love that, they're both traumatized idiots and it's amazing XD

They're wonderful traumatized idiots lmao

Enjoy the short story!

-

Should Be Easy

Characters; Garvin (and others), Ingall, and Akira. The rest of GRAIN are mentioned to some degree.

Word Count; 3,285.

TWs; Swearing, varying levels of dissociation, severe internalized ableism, self-esteem issues, self-worth issues, self-hatred, self-deprecation, 'mild' suicidal ideation, ‘mild’ self-harm, ableist language, depression, autistic meltdown/shutdown, blood, panic/anxiety attacks, and messy writing/ending. Maybe more? Hard to really say.

Notes; Welcome to Garvin having an insane amount of internalized ableism and very quickly spiraling because of its sheer intensity. Is a ton of his self-hatred tied to his internalized ableism? I’d say at least a good, uh, I don’t know, one fourth of it is? Probably. He’s so mean to himself. Oops.

*~*~*~*

Garvin had been staring at the worksheet in front of him on the table for… Far too long. He wasn’t actually sure how long exactly. It didn’t really matter. Apus had set it down for him to do a while ago, had explained it to him a while ago, had made it clear that it was just an exercise of something he’d already been taught a while ago. And he was stuck fucking staring at it. It was supposed to be an exercise. Practice for something that Polaris had already gone through the trouble of teaching him. He couldn’t read it though. He couldn’t get his eyes to work right. The letters kept moving, shifting and jumping and blurring, and none of it made any sense.

-

He realized his foot was tapping against the ground. He took a breath, made sure his hands were staying still, and forced his foot to stop. Aquila leaned against him from the chair next to him. He bit his tongue, squinted his eyes at the paper for what had to be the hundredth fucking time. Maybe it wasn’t his eyes. Maybe it was just him. He blinked, trying not to clench his hands too tightly as he dug his teeth into his tongue. It was probably just him. It had to be.

-

His leg was bouncing. He forced it to still, digging his nails into his palms so he wouldn’t have to worry about them doing anything stupid too. He blinked a few times, trying to just fucking read it already. It was supposed to be fucking practice. A fucking warm up. Polaris had already taught him it. It was supposed to just be practice. It wasn’t supposed to be something that he was struggling with. Maybe he hadn’t actually learned anything. Maybe Apus had just been carrying the entire fucking lessons, thinking he was learning something when he really wasn’t. Maybe Apus knew he wasn’t learning anything. He dug his teeth further into his tongue, dug his nails further into his palms, and tried to figure out what was so wrong with him that he couldn’t do this.

-

Garvin watched from the corner of his eyes as Apus started to reach out a hand from where he was sitting. It made him realize how dumb it was to have to need Altair on one side of him and Polaris on the other for this shit. That he needed to have someone to try and teach him shit that he should already know. That he needed to have someone else there for— For what? Moral fucking support? For trying to learn shit that he should’ve already fucking learned?

-

Aquila spoke before Apus reached the paper. “Don’ be so hard on yerself, love. Yer doin’ great.”

-

He almost laughed at that, at how dumb it was. He wasn’t doing great. He wasn’t doing anything. He was just fucking staring. Failing to do something that he should’ve already been able to do. It was fucking pathetic, really. Stupid and pathetic and dumb and really just so fucking stupid. He tasted blood in his mouth, he still dug his teeth further into his tongue. It was really just him, wasn’t it? Not his eyes or some dumb fucking excuse like that. He was just fucking stupid. Some fucking idiot that couldn’t figure out how to do something that someone had already taken the time to teach him. Something that he should’ve already known how to do anyways.

-

He was a lost fucking cause, wasn’t he? He dug his nail further into his palms. Polaris had already gone over this shit with him. Had already taught him this shit. Or tried to, at least. Maybe he hadn’t actually learned it though. Maybe he couldn’t learn it. Maybe he was so fucking stupid that he’d never learn it.

-

He was shaking. Which was just another stupid fucking thing. He was never going to get anywhere with the paper. He was never going to get anywhere with trying to learn to read or write or anything fucking else that Apus was trying to teach him. Apus reached for the paper again. He almost wanted to stop him. To just let him struggle with it until the urge to break his head open against the table was his best fucking option. Maybe it already was. Maybe it’d fix his stupid fucking head.

-

Apus nudged his arm, and Garvin realized that he’d managed to reach the paper without interruption this time. “Would you like me to break it down again for you? It’s no problem at all if so. You’re doing great.”

-

They kept fucking saying that. He hadn’t done anything. He stared at the worksheet. He was fucking stupid. He was so fucking stupid. He wasn’t going to get it. Polaris could break it down a hundred fucking times and he still wouldn’t fucking get it. He probably couldn’t. That would make the most sense at this point. That he just wasn’t ever going to be able to get it because he fucking couldn’t. He forced his elbows up, propped his head up against his hands, and stared at the paper.

-

He hadn’t answered Apus. He didn’t know what he could really say. He shouldn’t need the help. Polaris had already tried to teach him it before. He apparently had just never gotten it through his thick fucking skull. Because he couldn’t. Because he was so dumb, so fucking stupid that he couldn’t learn. He shifted, propped his head on one of his clenched hands and used the other to lightly tap his forehead. He stared at the paper, narrowed his eyes and just tried to fucking manage it.

-

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do something that Polaris had already tried to fucking teach him. He couldn’t do it and he never would be able to because he was just that fucking stupid. He’d never fucking learn. He couldn’t learn. He couldn’t fucking learn or figure shit out or— Or anything.

-

“Fuck!” He slammed his clenched fists down onto the table in front of him, pushing himself up and trying not to trip as the chair clattered to the ground behind him. He still stumbled back, blinking and trying to ignore the burning behind his eyes. He was shaking, everything was blurred, he brought his hands up and started hitting them against his temple. “Stupid piece’a shit! Fuckin’— It ain’— It ain’ hard, jus’ read— Jus’ fuckin’ read it!” Aquila was standing, he took a step back, hit his hands against his head harder as he spoke. As if it could emphasize the words enough to make them stick for once. “Fuckin’ dumb— Retarded— Piece’a shit!” He hated this. He hated making Apus try and teach him shit that he should’ve already known. He hated not being able to grasp fucking any of it.

-

Aquila grabbed his arms, trying to keep him from hitting his head for some fucking reason he couldn’t figure out. It wasn’t like he could get any fucking dumber. He bit his bleeding tongue, trying to ignore the way his eyes seemed watery, and pulled at his arms to keep hitting himself. He wasn’t sure why he needed to. He needed to though, he needed to. Maybe it’d fix whatever it was that wouldn’t let him learn. He doubted it. It never had before. He didn’t think it ever would. He didn’t think anything could.

-

“Love, hey, how ‘bout ya don’ hit yerself? Everythin’ll be okay, I’ve got ya. Yer not stupid.”

-

He gritted his teeth, ripped his arms from Aquila and stumbled back, swatting their hands away when they reached out to grab his arms again. “Fuckin’— Yes, I fuckin’ am! Stop— Stop fuckin’ lyin’ t’me!” He brought his hands back up, and then found his way back to hitting his hands against his head as he continued. “‘M fuckin’ broken! A— A damn bro-broken, retarded, un-unthinkin’ fuckin’ idiot!” He was crying. He shouldn’t be. He was anyway. He didn’t want to be. He hadn’t used to cry so easily. He really shouldn’t be. There wasn’t any real reason to. Crying didn’t do anything anyway. It didn’t do shit. It wasn’t going to help anything. It was fucking stupid. Like he was. Maybe that was why he couldn’t get himself to stop.

-

Aquila reached out again, looking like they weren’t all that sure if it was a good idea or not. He stepped back, bumped into the island behind him, and realized how shaky his legs were. How much shakier they seemed to get as he noticed it. It seemed just as stupid as he was, and he forced himself to stay upright. Aquila took a step towards him, almost hesitantly, their voice just as careful. Like they were talking to a cornered dog. He hated it. “Claddagh, ‘m not lyin’ to you. Please stop hittin’ yerself. Yer not— Yer not stupid. Yer really fuckin’ smart, love.”

-

He wasn’t smart though, he wasn’t. If he was then he wouldn’t be crying or shaking or having to try and fail to learn how to do shit that he should already know how to do. Everyone else knew how to read. Everyone else knew how to write. Everyone else knew how to even just hold a fucking pencil the right way. He choked on tears that had no reason to be falling, hit his hands against his head harder, and tried to ignore how dumb he was being. He was throwing a fucking tantrum. Like a child. Like a fucking stupid, attention seeking brat. He still couldn’t seem to get himself to stop. He shook his head, pulling at his hair with one hand as the other kept hitting his temple. “‘M fuckin’ s-slow, ‘Quila, ‘m not— ‘M not s-smart, I can’t— ‘M never— ‘M never gon-gonna learn, ‘m never—”

-

He choked for a second again, and then hit his hand against his head harder, his nails scratching himself as he pulled at his hair. “I can’t— I can’t learn— I can’t fuckin’ learn— ‘M not— I can’t, I-I can’t— M’heads fuc-fuckin’ broke a-a-an’ I can’t—” He felt himself half-stomp his foot against the ground, as if he hadn’t given them enough proof of his idiocy, as he choked up again. He stopped hitting his head as his legs started giving out on him, shaky and pained and so fucking stupid. He ran his hands down his face, scratching himself as he did. When the feeling of the left side of his face was too annoying under his nails, he went back to hitting that side of his head.

-

He was on the ground, sitting against the island and watching Aquila slowly crouch in front of him before he managed to force any words out again. He hit his head against his knees, and then he just… Kept himself like that, with his forehead resting against his knees. He was tired. He was so fucking tired. He didn’t want to look at them. “‘M fuckin’ stupid, Kiki, ‘m so fuckin’ stupid. I don’t— I don’ know wha’s wrong wit me, ‘quila, I don’t— I dunno why I can’t— Why I can’t jus’ fuckin’ learn, I don’t— Maybe ‘m jus’, I dunno— Maybe ‘m fuckin’ brain dead, maybe—”

-

Aquila interrupted him, their voice so much softer than he deserved. “Yer not, Claddagh, I promise yer not. Yer not stupid, yer not broken, an’ yer not fuckin’ brain dead. Nothin’s wrong wit you, love.”

-

They probably hadn’t been done talking, but they stopped when he choked on the tears still in his throat and whined. He brought his head up, just slightly, and let himself hit his forehead against his knees again before going to try and explain that he was stupid. That he was broken. That he had to be brain dead. “But—”

-

Aquila cut in before he could actually start trying to get them to understand just how much of a lost cause he was. He didn’t look up at them. He didn’t want to see whatever look would be waiting for him if he did. “Yer not dumb, Claddagh. I mean, hun, you fixed a fuckin’ train before. A train. Not ev’ryone can do tha’ shit. I can’t do tha’ shit. Ya gotta be pretty fuckin’ awesome an’ smart ta be able ta do tha’, love. Ev’rything’s gonna be fine, I gotcha.”

-

The train really wasn’t as impressive as Aquila seemed to think it was. As all of them seemed to think it was. He still wasn’t sure how to go about getting them to understand that. He still wasn’t sure how to go about getting them to understand that he really was just plain stupid. That he was beyond stupid. He wasn’t sure why he was even having to try to get them to understand how dumb he was, why they just never seemed to see it or why they always denied it or… Whatever the reason was that they kept trying to tell him that he wasn’t dumb. He pushed his head further against his knees, trying to get his crying under control. At least it was mostly silent, mostly finished. That seemed to be the only thing he had going for him at the moment.

-

It took Apus speaking up for him to realize how close he’d gotten. “Would you like a hug?”

-

Pain spiked in his chest, squeezed his heart, and all he could think for a moment was that a hug would be nice. But it also sounded far nicer than he deserved. Not to even mention how stupid it would be to say yes. He didn’t need a hug. He shouldn’t want a hug. He wasn’t a child, even if he was acting like one. He couldn’t bring himself to say no to the offer though. So he pushed his head further against his knees, tried to ignore the tears prickling at his eyes where he’d only just begun to get rid of them. He was so fucking stupid.

-

A hand inched onto his shoulder, slow and hesitant and careful. As slow as it was, he still managed to tense. He kept himself from flinching, at least, because flinching due to Apus putting his hand on his shoulder would’ve been beyond stupid. Even for him. The hand still paused for a moment when he tensed, and he tried to ignore the fresh burning in his eyes. He pushed his head further down against his knees, forced himself to relax instead of tensing at his boyfriend trying to fucking comfort him. Which was stupid all the way around, but he couldn’t quite get his voice to work to explain or tell him not to try to comfort him. Though, even if he had been able to, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve. He couldn’t be sure, not with the way he was immediately leaning into the touch as soon as his tension was gone. He at least knew to hate himself more for how dumb that was too.

-

It took Apus slowly leaning against him for him to realize that Apus had kept moving after he’d started leaning into the hand on his shoulder. The hand that had been on his shoulder was rubbing circles into his back. He bit his tongue, ignored the burning behind his eyes, and tried to ignore how dumb he felt for… For all of it, really. For crying about fucking nothing, for tensing just because of Apus trying to comfort him, for leaning into it, for not noticing Apus getting closer, for wanting the comfort to begin with. Because he didn’t need it, he didn’t. Not really, at least, he had used to manage without any before, after all. He’d gotten worse, somehow, in his time with them. He didn’t know why. Which was just another thing to add to the list of shit he didn’t know. Of shit he should know. He really was just getting dumber. He couldn’t learn. He was forgetting or unlearning or— Or just something was happening with what he did know. He was fucking retarded. Broken. He had to be.

-

Apus started talking, slow and hesitant. Like he was choosing his words carefully. He probably was. It wouldn’t be surprising. It was probably why he’d taken so long to start talking, still rubbing circles into his back. “You’re not an idiot, and you’re not stupid. Sometimes things just take longer for some people. I used to really struggle with math for a while, you know, it took me ages to finally get it. And I still struggle with things like talking to people or communicating what I need. I used to think that made me really dumb, but it doesn’t. And I’m learning, even if I still need some help. I know that I have support, and I hope that you know you have us to support you too. No matter what.”

-

Apus was leaning his head against his shoulder, still rubbing circles into his back. He wanted to bury his head further into his knees, wanted to ignore the fact that tears were building up in his eyes again, wanted to argue and explain and get them to understand how dumb supporting him was when he’d never manage anything. When he’d never fucking amount to anything. He wasn’t sure how to get them to see that he was a lost cause. That they’d be better off if they stopped trying to teach him, if they stopped supporting him and caring about him. If they stopped pretending he had any chance at a life in their home. In their hearts.

-

He didn’t think he had enough energy to try, even if he had known what to say. He was tired. He couldn’t even manage to lift his head to look at them. He was selfish. He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want them to realize how little he deserved them. He didn’t want them to realize they’d be better off without him. He didn’t even really want them to realize he was a lost cause. It’d only lead to everything else if they did. So he ignored the fact that he was crying again, and leaned into Apus as well as he could without lifting his head.

-

He realized he’d been scratching one of his wrists when Aquila took his hands into their own. He tried not to let his tears choke him as they spoke in a far softer tone than he deserved. “We love ya, Claddagh, we really do.”

-

He didn’t deserve them. He didn’t want to know how long he had until they realized that. He didn’t want to ruin it. He always seemed to ruin it. He always seemed to ruin everything he had going. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to lose this. He let Aquila squeeze and rub circles into his hands with their thumbs. He tried not to push his head even further into his knees, tried not to curl even more at the stinging in his eyes. Instead, he squeezed their hands in return, trying to make sure his tears didn’t make any noise, and at least tried to help calm himself down. He’d really rather not waste their time any more than he already had. He wasn’t sure why they put up with him and his shit. He didn’t think he had the energy for a talk like that one. So he shifted to lean into Apus more without having to look up, hoped neither of them realized it’d be better for them to just kick him out and forget about him already, and tried to stop wasting their time with his crying.

I absolutely love the short story!
The poor street rat though :'((

I feel so bad for him, but it was very well written, and I loved it!

Glad you liked the short story!

Very poor street rat lmao

Very glad it was well written, hopefully Ingall and Akira were written alright too lol