I finished chewing my food before I responded to her, "I love you too," I said with a smile. "Well we don't really have anything to do for the day, I have a few things on my to-do list but they can wait," I said "I actually planned on sleeping in today but I naturally woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep. So if you want to fall asleep you can, I have a few things I need to write down. I might check on King's young mate, I have a suspicion it's her first clutch and since I'm many I might as well check on them, if she has even laid them yet," I said rambling

Something fired up in me as i listened to Tobey ramble. When he had finished eating i grabbed the bowl and put it the the side before sitting myself on his lap. I had forgotten i didn't have pants on so i had my legs straddle him. I put my finger on his lips, quieting him so i could talk. "First of all, im not tired. Besides i made a new rule. You can only leave me once a day and youve already left once so you have to take me wherever you go." I said with a playful pout. "Plus, i need to do something first." I said with a playful growl. I took his head in my hands, pulling him closer to me and passionately kissing him. I told you something fired up in me.... I forgot all about his sweatiness as i closed my eyes. I also accidentally let one of my weaknesses out, a little happy noise. Whenever i feel very happy i let out little happy noises. I honestly cant really control it. Sometimes i dont even notice i do it, like this time for example.

When she sat on my lap, it felt like my heart stopped, I even held my breath. As she sat, she was right up against me. The fact she didn't have anything on other than my shirt and a few other things made it worse. When she attempted to take control I fought the urge to retrain her. When she pulled me in for a kiss I snaked my arms onto her hips and lifted her slightly, preventing her from being able to do anything more than kiss me. I wasn't going to pin her as I first did, she is pregnant right now and I wouldn't want to stress her body.

"Might want to control yourself otherwise I might ask you to take care of the issue instead," I teased still holding her slightly above me.

My heart was still racing from the interaction but i was now resting. My eyes were once again getting heavy as i pulled the blanket over me. I yawned before closing my eyes, allowing myself to rest. After awhile of resting i heard Amora's footsteps, or pawsteps on the icy floor. I opened my eyes just in time to see her jump onto the bed and curl up beside me. At first i smiled but remembered Tobey had pushed her off one time. Was she sposed to be up here? I turned my head towards Tobey who was at his desk doing who knows what. "Is Amora allowed up here?" I asked before looking down at her. I subconsciously began petting her as o waited for Tobey's answer.

"Preferably not because she can't be on it with both of us on the bed," I explained "Eventually she will get too big and might even break it trying to get in, but I will let it slip now and then right now but only when it is one of us on the bed. So she is fine laying right next to you," I said turning to her with a smile and then turning back to what I was working on. I continued to write as I was working on a new book, there was finally not enough room in the old one.

I stuck out my bottom lip when he said preferably not but was instantly happy again when he would let it slid. "Hear that Amora? You get to snuggle me for a little while longer." I whispered to her as i countinued to pet her. I then layed my head back down, resting again. I tried to fall asleep but the continous scratching of the pencil on the paper was bothering me. If i could hear him writing it was way to quiet. When i managed to get past that i instantly became curious. What was he doing anyway? I turned my head back to Tobey. "Whatcha doing?" I asked. I wouldn't get offended if he didn't want to tell me but i would enjoy the not-quiet if he decided to talk to me. Whenever it was super quiet it would always remind me of all those nights alone in the hospital. You couldn't see anything in the pitch black, small room. The only thing you could smell was the cleaning materials and the only sound in the whole room was the tick tick tick of the clock, otherwise nothing. I shivered and then i realized i had spaced off. "Wait- what did you say?" I asked nervously. "I spaced, sorry."

I had a worried look on my face when I turned around and she was spaced off. That wasn't new but spacing off to the point she can't hear me is. "I said I'm working on my new journal since the other one is full," I said with a pause "Is everything okay love?" I asked worried, my brain wandered to all the possible things that could be wrong. It just filled me with stress, if she didn't say anything I would have to drop it and convince myself it was fine if she wasn't saying anything. I didn't want to but for my own mental health it wa the best idea.

-----------

sorry for the late reply, I was playing pep band at 2 basketball games

The worried look on his face made me feel worse about my space out. Atleast this time i heard what he said. When he asked if everything was okay i laughed nervously. "Haha....It's just i had a flashback....That i hate....BUT im fine. I get those sometimes and it's not a big deal...most of the time." I said petting Amora anxiously. The only reason i explained it slightly detailed was because i didn't want to have another flashback. I dont know what i would do if i had another. Just then i remembered what he had said he was doing. "Wait, you are still writing?! I thought you kinda just stopped when you met me." I said being honest. "Is it hard?" I asked sitting up to look at him. I found myself wanting, needing a distraction. I felt the emotions crawling in my mind. My breath became slightly faster as tried to shake the feeling. "Do you think i could do it?" I asked to prevent the silence from coming. If i would write, even though it would be quiet i would be distracted so it wouldn't bother me.

"Please try and say something when you have them, you might have PTSD as I do, not everyone gets PTSD from the same things," I explained getting up and going over to her. I picked up Amora and sat her on the floor before I carefully lay between Kaolin's legs as my torso was slightly on her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lay my head on her chest. "Of course, I still write, I'm documenting my life so when we are gone there is proof we were here and they would get to see the stories and everything," I said with a smile and kissed her chin. "It is just difficult and I have to write less often meaning I have to dedicate a lot of time to catching up. it used to be daily now it's weekly." I explained "But it's not just for future civilizations, it's also for our children, so they get to know of all the fun adventures and get to learn our stories," I said laying my head back down and hummed. This was nice and relaxing, bonding and cuddling after certain activities were important after all.

I kept quiet as he walked over to me and layed in-between my legs. Even though i didn't want to, with all the emotions attacking me, i got upset when Tobey said i might have PTSD. I really, really didn't want grouch at him but i couldn't help it. I tried to bite my tongue but it didn't work. "I dont have PTSD! Ive saw you have one and its nothing like me! Mine are very short and only last a minute at max. I can easily snap myself out of it....most of the time....And i dont practically kill myself before i have one!" I covered my mouth with my hands and gasped when i realized what i had said. I hadn't meant to say that last part. I guessed how much it hurt too see Tobey bruised was finally catching up with me, after almost two months. A tear fell down my cheek. "I- i didn't mean that....Im sorry..." I wasn't surprised if he would get upset and leave. Leave me all by myself, all alone, in my emotions. Another tear fell down my cheek. I really hadn't meant to say that. "Im sorry..." i mumbled, closing my eyes and tensing up as i remembered that dreadful day. If i had only acted fine...he wouldn't have hurt himself.