Niké zoned out of listening to the conversation between the investigator and Theo rather quickly, his mind scrambled with a million thoughts while he simultaneously tried to keep from tears. This was why he always told himself to not get close to anyone, or let anyone close. It always ended in hurt.

"I was with N-Officer York. We spent a lot of time in the woods by my gang's location."

Hearing his name on Theo’s lips brought his attention back to the conversation instantly, looking up slightly to look at the gang leader. The more the man talked thought, the redder Niké’s face turned and once again he looked away, feeling like even more like a mess now, embarrassed from having the whole room know about the moments the two men had shared while also sad knowing that all that was over, that he would never be that close to Theo ever again unless it was the leader beating him up, as he'd threatened to.

"Oh I was just getting started. You know maybe it would be better if I demonstrated."

When he heard Theo stand up he instantly looked up at the man, feeling smaller than ever as their eyes met. It was impossible for him to read Theo’s expression, however he could probably read his like an open book.

As Theo sat back down, Niké’s gaze dropped to the floor again, trying to re-collect himself and regain some composure but that seemed like an impossible task unfortunately.

Once the investigator left the room, still flustered, Niké glanced at Officer Shazen as she spoke to Theo and he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself enough to speak without a shaky and weak voice.

“Officer Shazen? May I have a moment alone with the suspect?” He finally asked, hoping that neither her nor Theo would protest to it. He just needed a moment to talk to Theo, he needed to explain himself and this could be his only chance, he didn't want to leave things the way it was now, not without explaining himself first. If Theo wanted to hate him then there was nothing he could do to change that, nor could he blame the man, but he just wanted him to know the truth first.

"You're the last person I want to speak to right now."

When Theo rose from his chair and faced him, Niké couldn't help but take a step back, his back pressing against the wall as he looked up at the angry man in front of him, fright in his eyes, not sure what the leader's next actions would be and though he did not want Theo to turn away from him, he felt some slight relief when the man did.

"No, stay. Anything the fool wants to say, he can say with you in the room. Besides, there's a secret recorder hidden underneath the table. Everything we say the rest of his buddies can hear."

Niké watched Theo silently, the clump in his throat growing once more and he tried his best to swallow it down, his eyes starting to well up with tears before he finally spoke, no longer caring if the whole world could hear him, they could judge him if they wanted but as long as they hadn't been in his shoes it didn't matter.

“Can't you just listen to me this once?” His voice betrayed him as he spoke, cracking as he brushed the tears out his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know I'm a bad person already, hate me all you want but I never lied to you about my feelings for you and it has been killing me to keep this from you, you don't deserve this which is why I was going to leave…” his voice remained weak, the occasional sniffle as he fought back tears with all that he could.

Taking a shaky breath, Niké continued, “You’ve been through enough and I never wanted to hurt you, I truly am sorry and if I could have done things differently and changed how things turned out I would have but I can't do that now, can I?” He looked over at the man, still feeling nervous and overwhelmed but now his voice has returned a little to its more usual tone.

“I know you didn't murder anyone and I will do my best to make sure you get out of here, after that I promise you won't have to see my face ever again. I know I fucked everything up and I deserve nothing other than your hate but just know that I still care about you, believe that if you want or not but it's true,” he finally said, drawing in yet another shaky breath as it felt like his body would betray him any second now and overflow with emotion.

There was so much more he wanted to tell the other but he just couldn't, if he continued speaking his emotions would overtake him. And knowing that everyone would be able to hear what he'd just said was enough, he would be laughed at and judged for that enough.

The longer Theo stayed quiet, the harder it was for Niké to keep it together. His hands were once more trembling and his eyes seemed to keep overflowing with tears, having to constantly wipe them now.

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me. I can handle myself."

Every new word Theo said hurt equally as much, if not more, as him ignoring him. He knew the man was right but it didn't change the fact that he wanted to help him to the best of his capabilities. He knew he had hurt the man and all he wanted now was to help him get out of here and go back to the gang where he would be able to heal without ever having to see Niké’s face again.

"If you really love me, you will tell me what the hell they have on my file."

The grey-haired man watched the other, his heart twisting in his chest, of course he loved Theo, he loved him more than he thought he would ever be capable of. More than what he wanted to. Which was why he had been intending to leave, to stop himself from hurting him this badly.

"I deserve to know every crime I could possibly be accused of. They can't get me for this murder tip, I don't think they ever thought they could. Something isn't adding up right here. I don't think everything is as simple as they let the both of you believe."

Glancing over at the female officer next to him Niké bit the inside of his cheek, he wanted to tell Theo everything he could but at the same time he had no way of knowing where Shazen stood. All he knew was that the woman didn't seem to like him much at all so he felt hesitant to say anything, not knowing if or who she'd run telling if he told Theo anything.

Hesitantly Niké walked closer to Theo, knowing that it was most likely the last thing the leader wanted, “Theo please…” the young man pleaded as he dropped to his knees in front of the man to be able to look up at the other man, a trembling hand gripping the table tightly. He wasn't scared of getting hit, that he could take, but that it would be the man he loved hitting him, that scared him.

“I love you, I really do, so please…” once more his emotions were betraying him, eyes welling up with tears again but he was quick to wipe them away, “Give me a few days, that's all I ask. I need to sort stuff out, and you should relocate the gang, some place I don't know if that makes you feel better, safer. After that I’ll meet you anywhere you want and I'll give you everything, a copy of the file, answers, anything you want, and after that I promise you won't ever have to see my face again. I can't tell you everything right now, I don't know or trust Shazen and things are just much more complicated than they might seem,” his voice was nothing more than a whisper now, just loud enough for Theo to hear him as he tried to keep Officer Shazen out of their conversation.

"I'm sorry, Niké, I don't have a few days."

The young man's gaze dropped to the floor as he let out a sigh. He really wished there was a way for him to make things right again but it all just seemed impossible. Theo, the man that he loved, hated him, and rightfully so, he had betrayed him, not intentionally but he still had.

“Tell me what to do to fix-” just as Niké lifted his gaze to look at Theo again he was cut off by a hard punch that sent him flying down to the floor onto his back, his eyes tearing up as he put a hand over his nose. He felt paralyzed, stunned at what had just happened. He had almost expected it but at the same time, he had thought in the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, some part of Theo still loved him and that he wouldn't lay his hands on him in this way. He had obviously been wrong which only made him wonder what else about Theo he had been wrong about, was this the real Theo? A dangerous and cruel gang leader? Had Niké just been blinded with love to actually see that?

A metallic taste on his lips brought the grey-haired man back to the moment, yelling and the sounds of running footsteps being heard from outside the investigation room. Despite the punch, he couldn't help but hope that Theo would get away.

Slowly he sat up, trying to wipe the blood from his nose away only to cover his hand in it, the bleeding much worse than what he’d first thought. With his other hand, the young man instead wiped his tears away and stood up, his face pulsing with pain. The punch seemed to have brought him back to his senses though, or perhaps he was just shocked, either way he no longer felt on the verge of a breakdown, instead he felt completely numb.

Noticing the blood dripping down into the floor, Niké let out a sigh and started walking, pushing past Shazen and looking across the room outside, watching people chase after Theo. He didn't stay to watch though, he was almost sure the other would get away. Instead he quickly found a bathroom and walked inside, grabbing some paper towels and started trying to stop the bleeding that had already stained the hoodie he was wearing, Theo’s hoodie…

He still needed to talk to his supervisor, something that he already knew wouldn't go down well, but it couldn't be worse than the event that had unfolded just now, that he was certain of.

~A Few Days Later~

After the events that had happened a few days prior, Niké’s head had been a mess, he found himself constantly zoning out, his head occupied with a million thoughts. Finding out that Theo hadn't managed to escape worried him, he was worried about how the man was doing, how the gang was doing and what would happen next.

There was nothing he wanted more than to see Theo and get him out and back to the gang but there was no way he would be allowed to see the man unsupervised, he felt completely powerless. He also wasn't too sure what would happen if he went to see him, would Theo try to hurt him again? As much as Niké didn't want to fear the leader, it was hard not to given the things that he had been through in the past.

The young man's sleeping schedule had worsened a lot too, typically he was able to sleep quite alright when he was alone in his apartment with all doors locked, it would help give a sense of comfort, leading to a more peaceful sleep, he would still wake up every other hour or so but the dreams would often feel less real and it would be longer between them but not now. Now he could barely close his eyes even, much less fall asleep. Three days in a row he’d been awake, alone and letting his thoughts run wild as he tried to make sense of the situation.

It wasn't until after those three days that Niké passed out completely, only to wake up just a few hours later in a full panic, covered in a cold sweat and screaming out for forgiveness. Theo wasn't the first person he had betrayed and hurt, he was a horrible person and he knew that and the guilt was eating him up every day.

His nose had been fine once the bleeding had stopped but despite that, he had been forced to the hospital, mainly to check up on his wounds like the knife slash across his throat, it was of course healing nicely and the doctor had been quite impressed with Theo’s work even.

After the health check-up and getting yelled at for what had felt like an eternity by his supervisor, he'd almost immediately been put to work though, desk duty for the time being though until things settled down more concerning Theo, at least that's what he was told, that it was for his safety due to a poor body condition and the fact that apparently Theo’s gang had gotten more and more violent lately, at least that's what Niké was hearing. For the most part he stayed inside, he had no idea what went on in the streets. He was either at home or at the station, occasionally he walked down the street to the corner shop and bought cigarettes but that was it.

While he was struggling to figure out the next step to freeing Theo was, he was at the same time planning his own escape. He couldn't just put in his two weeks, things were more complicated than that, if he did, it was straight to prison for at least a year, probably more, he had honestly lost count, all he knew is that he couldn't do it, he knew he wouldn't do well in prison for several reasons.

If he wanted to leave, he would have to disappear completely but he couldn't do that when Theo was still under arrest.