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Darkseeker
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"I know you can. You're very strong."
Niké smiled briefly at that comment. He didn't feel strong, he was just pushing on because he knew he had to. He couldn't stop and let it get to him because then he would crumble.
"I-um-I actually wanted to talk to you....in private."
Curiosity spread across the man’s face as he tilted it to the side, what was so secret that the leader had felt the need to bring him away from the house to tell him, instead of just whispering it to him or wait until Alleya left his room? Not to say that Niké didn't like it, he wanted nothing but to be alone with Theo and just forget about all else. And the place he had brought him to was beautiful.
The grey-haired man watched as the leader went and sat down, hearing the other whisper something, however it was a bit hard for him to make out what the man had said and instead of asking for him to repeat himself, Niké chose to just move closer and sit down next to the man.
Getting closer, the young man could see Theo’s nervous fiddling. He sat down and gently put his head on the leader’s shoulder before carefully moving a hand between Theo’s and grabbing one. Niké interlaced their fingers before squeezing softly. The other man was clearly nervous, perhaps anxious even?
“We don't have to talk if you're not ready,” Niké mumbled, his cold blue gaze looking out at the frozen stream. The early morning sun reflected onto the ice, making it appear almost as if it was glittering in some places. The view was peaceful, just the occasional bird flying past, chirping a little to keep the forest from going quiet. It was beautiful and he was happy Theo had wanted to show him this place, it really had helped him to calm his nerves back down.
“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere,” he added, cursing at himself internally the moment that he realized what he had just said. Yet another lie. Sometimes he lied too easily but the worst part about this lie was probably that he wished for it to be the truth. He didn't want to but he knew that he would have to leave Theo, especially with the feelings that he was developing towards the criminal.
Really, Niké should just slip away at the first chance he got, reveal the location of the house and forget about it all, Theo, his own feelings and the gang. It was the right thing to do. But how could he? |
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Neutral
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Theo wasn't sure how to tell Nike the truth or even how far of the truth he should tell the other man. He had always viewed his problems as his own. There wasn't a single soul he had ever told about his nightmares-not even Flynn. On nights she slept in the same bed as him, he just wouldn't sleep-not that he slept much any other time either. He was lost in thought, trying to replay the conversation in his mind. Each time he tried that, Nike's response would always be negative. Preparing himself for the worst, he liked to call it. It prepared him, yes, but also helped ease his nerves. Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen meant that the true outcome had to be better, correct? He jumped at the sensation of somebody touching his hand, pulling himself from his thoughts. He relaxed at the familiarity of Nike's touch and let him take his hand. Their fingers became tangled with one another's. He took a deep breath and squeezed his hand, moving their hands so they rested gently on his thigh. "We don't have to talk if you're not ready." Nike made it so easy for the gang leader to trust and crush on him. Everything he said was always considerate and kind. Of course that barely scraped the iceberg about Nike. He was a pretty special man, that's for sure. He took his gaze away from the ground and looked around them. This place was just as beautiful as he remembered it being. He hadn't been back here since Flynn...well since that happened. It did feel strange to be back but also comforting. And having someone with him? That made it feel more at home. It also stood for the moment he decided to give Nike a chance and to believe that having a crush on someone else didn't mean he was betraying her. Memories of him and her here were sacred but it also time to try to make some new memories. "Take your time, I’m not going anywhere." He couldn't help but give a soft smile at those words. Nike truly was a great guy. Everything that the other man said made him feel more certain it was time to give up some of his secrets. "Well...you see..." He began, pausing to think about his words. He didn't want to mention anything that was things he wasn't ready to admit to himself quite yet,"I have been through quite a lot, things that I-um-that happened since I was young. These things aren't good things..." He paused, his gaze trailing back down and picking at the fabric of his pant leg with his free hand. He couldn't tell him anymore. He took a deep breath and took a moment to clear his eyes that had began to water. No crying, anything that included tears, he wouldn't share. "Anyway, those memories...they don't go away. Not ever. They come back when I sleep. When I sleep, I dream about everything that has happened to me. And trust me, it's not pretty," His voice had gotten rougher and more raw with emotion. "I-I just thought you should know," He whispered, his grip tightening on Nike's hand. He didn't bother to look at the other man. He was too afraid to,"I haven't told nobody at all. It's-um-personal and I can handle it. I always handle it." |
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Darkseeker
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Niké stayed quiet, letting Theo talk while he kept his head on the man’s shoulder, watching the landscape in front of them and taking in the details of it while listening to Theo. He felt bad for the man, he could only imagine the things that Theo had gone through.
He already knew they had a bit in common with their nightmares keeping them up at night, their pasts haunting them and terrorizing them but he could only hope that their trauma wasn't close to the same, although he feared it was.
"I haven't told nobody at all. It's-um-personal and I can handle it. I always handle it."
The grey-haired man squeezed the hand of the leader softly. Like usual, he didn't know what to say and he wanted to keep from saying something cliché and lame. He wanted to say something though. Theo was still here for him, even after he’d freaked out because of his dream, so he couldn't stay quiet at this moment.
Looking down at their hands, Niké stroked the back of the leader's hand with his thumb, “I know what you mean… It never goes away,” he paused, searching for words once more. It was hard, using his own words, repeating someone else's was far easier but for once he felt the need to be completely honest and transparent with someone, that someone being Theo.
“Everytime I close my eyes it's just there, always coming back…” Niké paused once more, taking a deep breath and shifting his gaze to look out at the stream again, “I used to wait for it to come back and now I want nothing but for it to be gone,” he continued on, his voice weaker now. He didn't give too much detail, that way he could keep denying to most hurtful and haunting parts of what had happened while still being honest with Theo.
It referred to the shadowed silhouette he would see in his dreams. Deep down he knew who It was. Someone he had trusted. Someone he should have been able to trust. But you couldn't trust anyone, no matter how close you were to them. Overnight he had learnt that lesson.
Shifting his weight while clearing his throat, Niké forced back the lump that was forming in it. Without saying much at all, he was already getting close to tearing up and he hated it.
“Um… Thank you for telling me,” the young man spoke after a few moments of silence, wanting to switch the subject and focus off himself, “It can't have been easy…” |
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Neutral
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He forced his grip to loosen on Nike's hand just a little. He didn't want to hurt the other man by gripping so hard. He kept his eyes fixed on the stream. He had suspected that this place would have been difficult to come back to but it hadn't been. Not really. Not with Nike sitting right beside. Not with the hold they had on eachother's hands. It actually felt good to be back looking at the stream with Nike. It felt like a breath of fresh air. The type of fresh air he hadn't been able to breathe in a long time. Or maybe it was the type of cleanse he needed to feel after sharing his dreams with somebody else. Either way, he felt oddly comforted and refreshed having confided in Nike. Maybe it was just something about the other man's prescence that could make him feel like this. He felt his hand being squeezed and Nike's thumb running gently against his hand. That was one thing that he would carry with him into his dreams. Soft, gentle touches. Those didn't happen in his dreams,not even close. He just had to remember them here and hope he could carry the memories of that when the touches aren't so gentle. "I know what you mean… It never goes away." That would be an understatement. It always comes back, in more way than one. He was reminded each time he looked in the mirror, each time somebody approached his blind side, and each time he closed his eyes. He couldn't escape it, it would always be there, even if somehow he could have normal dreams. "Everytime I close my eyes it's just there, always coming back…" Theo dared to turn his gaze to Nike. Nike wasn't watching him anymore but he saw a shift in the man's voice. A shift in the man's facial expression. Just the tiniest one. "I used to wait for it to come back and now I want nothing but for it to be gone." He didn't question what it was. He trusted that the gray-haired man would tell him when he was ready. First baby steps. He squeezed Nike's hand and rested his cheek against the top of the man's head. He knew too well what he meant. He just was lost for words to say to comfort him. "Um… Thank you for telling me. It can't have been easy..." Theo gave a soft sigh. That was probably one of the most difficult things he had done besides run away from his father. All he did was run away. He wished that he could run away from his dreams just like he did with his father. But that was impossible. At least he had Alleya help him most of the time. "I trust you," He told him, running his thumb against the top of the top of his hand,"You're a great guy, I know you won't ever do anything to hurt me." |
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Darkseeker
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"I trust you."
Niké stared blankly at the stream, guilt washing over him at those three words. He was the last person that Theo should trust. He felt like a horrible person. The guilt was almost too overwhelming, it made him want to confess right away, but that meant he would have to leave.
"You're a great guy, I know you won't ever do anything to hurt me."
Another wave of guilt.
The grey-haired man had to force himself to not open his mouth and blurt out the truth. He liked Theo, he really did, and he knew the truth would likely ruin the man, if anything it would make him hate him. The leader obviously liked him and while Niké liked him back, it seemed the leader had fallen harder.
There had to be a way out of this for him that didn't involve hurting Theo or leaving his job in such a way that they decided he would have to go to prison because that was the thing, even if he’d made the choice between becoming a cop and turning his life around or getting locked up, he wasn't free to just quit. If he quit now he would be sent to prison for the remainder of the time he would have left if he'd chosen prison. It was a fucked up situation and he was at a loss for how to get out of it.
Niké also felt bad for the fact that he couldn't say what Theo had said to him back. It wasn't that he thought the leader had ill intentions or was untrustworthy but he just couldn't bring himself to ever trust another person fully again, scared that one day something would change and that trust would be broken. He didn't want to have to suffer through that again.
For a brief second, he glanced up at the leader next to him before looking back at the frozen stream. He had to reply but with what? He couldn't bring himself to add more lies to the already big pile of them, especially not after the man had just told him that he trusted him.
“I really like you Theo… Thank you for everything,” he told the other, squeezing his hand lightly. “Being with you feels good, makes me feel happier, safer,” Niké mumbled, avoiding the subject of trust while hoping that Theo wouldn't notice, or at least understand him if he did, although with little to no explanation, it would probably be hard to understand.
Theo had done nothing to make Niké doubt that he could trust the man but with the people of his past breaking it in different ways throughout most of his life, he just didn't allow himself to trust anyone, it was dangerous to. Trust always ended with someone getting hurt.
“You're a good person, you care about the people around you. Everyone in the gang, they have a better life because of you.”
It was cruel really, a gang like the Rebels got to run around, doing as they wished, terrorizing people and hurting others just for the fun of it but Theo and his gang were the ones that the cops wanted behind bars. They were all good people who’d just been dealt a bad hand and people wanted to punish them for it, that wasn't right. |
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Neutral
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Theo had to admit, he had fallen for Nike almost face first. He couldn't help it, he felt attracted to how nice he was, how he always cared for him, and how he never judged him. It was easy to feel like he could trust him. He was the first to find out about Flynn, the first to find out about his nightmares and the first to boldly realize that despite his best efforts not to, he had developed a crush on him. Nike was easy to fall for, no matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings for him. He didn't know why he admitted how much he trusted the other man. He had let his guard down and with that, truth just slipped out. He felt a little embarrassed and afraid Nike would just walk away from him for confessing too much. But yet, he knew the other man better than that. "I really like you Theo… Thank you for everything.Being with you feels good, makes me feel happier, safer." He smiled at that statement, letting his fear melt away. Nike liked him and felt safe around him. It warmed his heart to hear the other man say that. He also agreed that Nike made him feel the same way. "You're a good person, you care about the people around you. Everyone in the gang, they have a better life because of you.” He lifted his head up and took his freehand to run through Nike's hair. He was glad that Nike had calmed down and that his secret was safe with the man. He was also just simply glad to be here with the other man. "Everyone deserves second chances in life. I had mine so now it's up to me to make sure that everyone else has theirs," He told Nike. Flynn had given him his second chance and passed down her legacy to him-and her gang,"I'm simply doing what I think is right for them." "Speaking of right things," He said, his freehand slipping to Nike's chin, lifting the man's face up to look him in the eyes. He ran his thumb against the shape of his chin,"How about you meet me here later tonight for a surprise?" He was asking Nike out on a date. He couldn't just keep on sneaking a few kisses with the man without properly giving him a date. It just didn't seem right. |
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Darkseeker
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Feeling Theo’s fingers running through his hair made the male push his face against the crook of the leader's neck. The warmth and presence of the other man was one that he’d grown to like a bit too much. He knew he wasn't supposed to get attached and yet he was failing, time and time again.
"Everyone deserves second chances in life. I had mine so now it's up to me to make sure that everyone else has theirs."
Second chances. It felt as if Niké had had a million of them. He always managed to get tangled up in a mess, some way or the other. And it was always his own fault.
Just how many ‘second’ chances could a person get before they ran out? Maybe this was finally his last ‘second’ chance? He had no way of knowing and part of him didn't want to know either, it just wanted to stay in what was happening right now, right here.
"Speaking of right things."
The grey-haired felt the touch of the leader move to his chin and lift his head. Niké met the emerald gaze of Theo and gave a soft smile, making sure to enjoy every moment with the man and savor the feeling of his touch on his skin. He would have to leave soon so he wanted to make sure he took in as much of their time together as he could.
"How about you meet me here later tonight for a surprise?"
A redness, in the form of blushing, spread across Niké’s cheeks as he nodded softly at the other man. “Yeah, I think that could be arranged,” he answered after taking a brief moment to compose himself and bring the blushing down.
With how close their faces were at the moment, the grey-haired man couldn't help but to let his eyes wander, his gaze dropping down to the lips of the leader. “Are kisses part of the surprise? Because I would like that,” he told the other. Forcing himself to look back up at Theo’s eyes and meet the man's gaze again, he added on, “A lot.” |
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Neutral
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Theo truly believed that Flynn gave him a second chance in life. He had been injured, homeless, and scared. He didn't know how to fight or fend for himself on the street. She had found him and turned him into somebody that could survive living on the streets and taught him everything he knew about basically survival skills. Without her, he didn't know where he would be. So when the gang was grieving and dying, he stood up and stepped in to help them. He didn't want others to loose the experience and second chance. He took over the gang to make sure everyone out there that needed help got the same help he did. Although, he thought that he personally was past his second chance. He was moving on to multiple chances. He wasn't sure when those would run out. He just knew what mattered most: that he was here with Nike, enjoying the moment of privacy. "Yeah, I think that could be arranged." He couldn't help but give the biggest grin, hearing Nike say that. It cured just the tiniest bit of nerves that had positioned themselves deep in his gut. He was a little scared of rejection, he had to admit. He didn't know what they were doing for their first official date but he would figure something out. Right now, he was just happy enough to hear that Nike wanted to go on a date with him. He was so happy that he didn't realize how close their faces were. That was until he noticed Nike's gaze drop down to his lips. He gave a light smirk, letting the man admire his lips. Hopefully, the gray-haired man liked what he saw. "Are kisses part of the surprise? Because I would like that." Oh? He knew Nike was bold enough to ask him if he had feelings for him but this was a new type of boldness. The way his insides twisted at the question and the way his heart lurched...he knew he liked it when he was bold. "A lot." "Mhmmm, we'll have to see about that," Theo leaned in closer like he was going to kiss the other man but at the last second, he breathed,"I would hate to spoil the surprise..." His lips brushed Nike's at his words about spoiling the surprise. He didn't mean that, he just wanted to tease the other man just a tad bit. After what seemed like a century, Theo roughly pressed his lips against Nike's. |
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Darkseeker
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What may appear as boldness to the leader was really far from it. Yes, he had the guts to let the words leave his mouth but he was also filled with nervousness as he did, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, almost to the point where it felt as if it would jump out his chest.
"Mhmmm, we'll have to see about that."
Watching the man lean closer, Niké fell silent and still, waiting for the kiss that was about to come. Taking this moment, right before the kiss to study the facial features of the other man, to take in every little detail he could before their lips would touch.
"I would hate to spoil the surprise..."
Suddenly the man paused and their lips brushed against each other at Theo’s words. A soft whine of frustration escaped Niké, his cheeks turning red when he realized, embarrassed by himself and praying that Theo hadn't heard, however he probably had, after all, he wasn't the one with fucked up hearing.
Finally, the leader pressed his lips against Niké’s and the grey-haired man quickly put a hand around the neck of Theo while putting his other on the ground as he kissed the man back. Closing his eyes, the young man took in the feeling of the other man being so close to him, their lips touching and the sensation filling him with warmth and happiness.
Theo’s lips were truly addictive and his kisses amazing, he never wanted to have to stop. Never have to break this kiss. In a perfect world they would both just be able to stay here together, alone from the rest of the world, their lips exploring each other while their bodies pressed close against each other to keep the warmth.
But the world was far from perfect and their lives non-compatible. No matter how much he wanted to stay with Theo he had to leave the man soon and forget about him, bury him in the deepest parts of his mind. It was that or come clean, tell the truth.
Niké could do neither. He knew he should. It was cruel to let this keep going. To let Theo think that this could be something. No matter what he did, he knew it would hurt the other man. It would be best to just get it over with, to just go before even stronger feelings were developed on both sides, how could he though? He had a man who he saw himself being able to love and be happy with, right in front of him, and he was supposed to just leave him?
((Sorry for taking so long, just moved to Germany so been busy with that heh)) |
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The gang leader thought he heard a whine right before he kissed Nike. He couldn't be certain, before the kiss his mind had been distracted. That's what happens when he gets close to Nike... his mind makes it hard for him to concentrate or control any emotion or thoughts that may occur. It was easy to be with Nike. Easy to kiss Nike. Easy to pretend that his relationships hadn't ended well in the pass. Each kiss lured him more into this fantasy of being happy with the man. He knew it was unreasonable and that something was bound to go wrong. He just couldn't stop the idea of happiness-and he sure didn't want to stop even if he could. Theo's hand snaked around his waist, pulling him closer and into the kiss. He never wanted to let go of these feelings. He wanted to experiment and express every feeling he could. He wanted the other man to know how he made him feel, the spark of his kisses, and about everything else he could possibly think of. He pulled back from the kiss to catch his breath. He leaned his forehead against Nike's, closing his eyes and just resting there. Experimentally, he slipped the hand that belonged to the arm around Nike's waist underneath his hoodie. He just rested his hand against the other man's bare skin on his back. It was an experiment to see how far he could go with Nike before panicked entered the gang leader's mind. And of course an experiment to see how far Nike would let him go. He never wanted to go too far with him. He highly doubted he would even be able to. No matter how hard he could escape his past when they kissed, he knew he would never be able to go as far as he did with Flynn. He didn't want to start a panic attack and leave Nike terrified about what just happened. So for now, little steps. He opened his eyes and gave a small hint of a smile. His gaze studied Nike's for a moment. He then pecked Nike's nose. After that, his lips. That's right. Take it slow and no one will get hurt. It's alright, I've been busy too. I hate spring semester of college. always so heavy of a course work.)) |
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Fall 
Day 
Heavy Rain
