Chatbox
 Red River Wolves
10:59:19 Redd Dead
Winter,
That's how it goes lol

Nobachey,
Boost or non-boost?
 Nobachey
10:58:30 Call me anything
Anyone wanna battle 6v6? I want an excuse to waste a blue jay feather
 Winter Haven
10:57:27 winter
i bought a pup just to chuck him into the pup wrestling to stay in top 25 except he's pretty and now i'm kind of attached lol

-WP Click-
 Red River Wolves
10:51:22 Redd Dead
*one full moon celebration
 Red River Wolves
10:50:53 Redd Dead
-WP Click-
Being born to DG in one full moon. This has got to be the most battle wolves I've trained in a week
 kycantina
10:45:44 ky / dh hoarder
y'all should I start keeping almost heroes for my breeding farm or stay strong?
 Winter Haven
10:44:05 winter
damn i'm number 3 on howlers lol. couldn't manage to grab 2nd
 Catori
10:27:44 Cat
Everyone is getting DHs today lol
 Vulpixles
10:26:56 Pixie, Vul | ♈
-WP Click-

Maybe my wolf party luck hasn't completely run out
 Rykio
10:19:08 An Attic.
Ew, essays.
 Nightwood
10:19:05 Woods, Woody (he/ th
Hi chat!
 Destinations End
10:18:13 Toliska, Desti, Coy
@Cy
I basically was just saying that it's impressive how many axanthics you have and that I haven't yet gotten one myself ^^'

Didn't really feel like retyping the full post. Sorry about that ^^'
 Eternity
10:16:50 ET
Cypress
College might be fun! :0 what would you wanna study?

I'm currently on my second year of uni B) I should be on my third but alas, I both failed a year and transferred to a diff uni LMAO
 Cypress Road
10:15:42 Cy, love
Et
Yeah. I'm slightly glad I'm not in school anymore but at same time I wanna go to college
 Eternity
10:13:50 ET
Cypress Road
Man, I do not miss doing essays haha. That's awesome though, I don't think I'm going to get close to 90% on this coursework, but I can hope </3
 Cypress Road
10:12:04 Cy, love
Et
I used to do the same but rps. I did a 5 page essay in 6 hours and barely got it turned in on time. I got a 90 percent on it though
 Eternity
10:09:54 ET
Procrastination goes so hard, somehow I'm out here making art raffles instead of just doing my classwork 😭
 Catori
10:09:46 Cat
I'm just pretty sure the game hates me and is punishing me for reasons unknown hahaha
 Cypress Road
10:08:21 Cy, love
Cat
I don't remember all the defects I have bred. I've bred a couple of everything I think. As well as a good variety of boosts
 Catori
10:04:32 Cat
Then there is me... who still has only bred an Albino, ery, mela and leuc xD

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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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