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Chatbox
 Boeing
02:55:06 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
I'm taking Stray's side in this argument lmao
 Lackadaisy
02:54:51 Stray, LT | H/H
Boe,

Oh?
 Saphire
02:54:44 Phire/ Saph
-WP Click- does anyone have a male wolf with the same boost and near the same talents? i cant find any on trading post and want her bred asap T^T
 Lackadaisy
02:54:35 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

You're short.
 Boeing
02:54:33 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Stray
I could fill out the dealership's paperwork... for a price ;)

Dealership
What happened to the crayons though xD
 The Reaper
02:54:25 Reaper / Grim
Cae & Pinky
Why did I imagine that as a poop dog pizza???
 The Reaper
02:54:03 Reaper / Grim
Daze
>:( I'm not short, giant!
 Collar
02:53:51 ♰ Vapor ♰
they call her poop dog supreme
 Caeruleum
02:53:36 Cae, Blue
"poop dog supreme" lmfaooo
 The Reaper
02:53:33 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Fair point, but I doubt he'd give the parts to me, wont even sell me his soul ;)
 Lackadaisy
02:52:43 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Lmao -

Boe,

Exactly! I'm willing to do the paperwork as long as I can get rid of this guy

Do encourage me, I like the taste of blood. :3
 Boeing
02:52:37 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Dealership
I mean... if it's for a good cause, maaaybe (/j)
Rather than filling out the paperwork you could just sell it to the black market though :D
 Caeruleum
02:52:35 Cae, Blue
ts, we love rng spoiling us <3

friendo, 40ac beats poop ^^
 The Reaper
02:51:24 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Mhm, don't encourage him to go murder XD
 Collar
02:51:14 ♰ Vapor ♰
i cant believe you'd poop dog me
 Collar
02:50:48 ♰ Vapor ♰
Besto

:pensive: yeahhh, a bit,,
But mm 40r ac,, <3
 STS
02:50:38 TS, Speckles
Cres. You spoil me me so much <33
 Caeruleum
02:49:48 Cae, Blue
friendo, id say its more of a poop dog <.<
 Boeing
02:49:22 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Stray, dealership
What's so bad about paperwork </3
Never mind what the paperwork is about
 Collar
02:49:15 ♰ Vapor ♰
Besto

Pee dog,,,

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Chatbox
 Boeing
02:55:06 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
I'm taking Stray's side in this argument lmao
 Lackadaisy
02:54:51 Stray, LT | H/H
Boe,

Oh?
 Saphire
02:54:44 Phire/ Saph
-WP Click- does anyone have a male wolf with the same boost and near the same talents? i cant find any on trading post and want her bred asap T^T
 Lackadaisy
02:54:35 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

You're short.
 Boeing
02:54:33 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Stray
I could fill out the dealership's paperwork... for a price ;)

Dealership
What happened to the crayons though xD
 The Reaper
02:54:25 Reaper / Grim
Cae & Pinky
Why did I imagine that as a poop dog pizza???
 The Reaper
02:54:03 Reaper / Grim
Daze
>:( I'm not short, giant!
 Collar
02:53:51 ♰ Vapor ♰
they call her poop dog supreme
 Caeruleum
02:53:36 Cae, Blue
"poop dog supreme" lmfaooo
 The Reaper
02:53:33 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Fair point, but I doubt he'd give the parts to me, wont even sell me his soul ;)
 Lackadaisy
02:52:43 Stray, LT | H/H
Kryuk,

Lmao -

Boe,

Exactly! I'm willing to do the paperwork as long as I can get rid of this guy

Do encourage me, I like the taste of blood. :3
 Boeing
02:52:37 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Dealership
I mean... if it's for a good cause, maaaybe (/j)
Rather than filling out the paperwork you could just sell it to the black market though :D
 Caeruleum
02:52:35 Cae, Blue
ts, we love rng spoiling us <3

friendo, 40ac beats poop ^^
 The Reaper
02:51:24 Reaper / Grim
Spare Parts
Mhm, don't encourage him to go murder XD
 Collar
02:51:14 ♰ Vapor ♰
i cant believe you'd poop dog me
 Collar
02:50:48 ♰ Vapor ♰
Besto

:pensive: yeahhh, a bit,,
But mm 40r ac,, <3
 STS
02:50:38 TS, Speckles
Cres. You spoil me me so much <33
 Caeruleum
02:49:48 Cae, Blue
friendo, id say its more of a poop dog <.<
 Boeing
02:49:22 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
Stray, dealership
What's so bad about paperwork </3
Never mind what the paperwork is about
 Collar
02:49:15 ♰ Vapor ♰
Besto

Pee dog,,,




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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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