i've been in this exact situation before, so many times.
it's so confusing. to be told so many things and get your hopes up, and then get hit with some information from an outside source instead of just being told straight up.
it's exhausting, i bet. but don't give up. even if they seemed perfect in every other way, their lack of communication would have torn you apart, had you been with them beforehand. be grateful you know now. this is the worst it can get, and it can only go up from here.
if you want to talk to me, or even just vent, my pms are open.