Voicemail
Characters; Garvin, Devery, Aries, and Revan. Nico, Briar, Akira, and Ingall are all mentioned tooz
Word Count; 3,921.
TWs; Swearing, self-esteem issues, self-worth issues, implied depression, self-hatred, implied suicidal ideation, implied suicidal thoughts, implied past suicides, implied past suicide attempts, implied suicide, implied character death, and messy writing/ending. Maybe more? Hard to say.
Notes; First thing I’ve written since I got sick last week and… Jeez, I went full on angst with it haha. Devery, Aries, and Revan’s parts are all just them reacting to the voicemail they got from Garvin. For your characters, I basically just did the dialogue. So, uh, feel free to write your characters' reactions to the voicemails. Yeah. Enjoy!
*~*~*~*
“Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you’re trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.”
---
He’d already listened to the voicemail before. He’d listened to it a lot recently. He was fairly sure everyone that’d gotten one had been listening to them. He played it again anyway. He wasn’t sure why he kept listening to it. He didn’t think it was any better than falling into old habits. He didn’t think it was any worse either though.
-
“Uh, damn, uhm. Gimme a– Fuck, I didn’ think this through, huh? I, uh, almost thought ya’d pick up. Which is… I dunno.”
-
A breath. He took one of his own, staring at the phone in his hand.
-
“Doesn’t matter an’ways, uh. Ca-Can’t ‘lieve ya ain’t got a, like, personal voice-whateva though, Dev. Is jus’ funny. Uh. Not what I… ‘m gettin’ off track ‘ere, uh. M’bad. Not, uh, not used ta, uh, this. Y’know? Is jus’ a lil weird, I guess.”
-
There was some shifting. Devery waited for the words he knew were coming.
-
“Figured ya’d be the first I called though. I dunno. ‘S kinda late, so. Not like I was really expectin’ ya ta answer an’ all. ‘M not– Not even sure why I called. Uh. ‘M gonna call ev’ryone, I think. Maybe. Y’know, the ones tha’, uh… Hm. Y’know.”
-
There was a pause. A low humming, like he’d only just started to think any of it through. It wouldn’t have surprised him if that was the case. It wouldn’t have surprised him if that wasn’t the case either though.
-
“Hope no one answers, tha’d be… Sumthin’. Nothin’ I wanna deal wit though, so… Y’know. I’d jus’ do messages but… Eh. Always feel like those ‘ave a time limit an’ all. ‘Sides, callin’ seems more… Permanent. Ya gotta do a whole thing ta keep the audio text shit, y’know? Don’ gotta do tha’ wit these. Ya jus’ keep ‘em. Well, ‘less ya decide ta get rid’a ‘em. Which, uh. S’fine, ‘course. Ya ain’t gotta… Keep this one…”
-
There was another breath, a shaky pause that twisted into a mirthless laugh. Small and bitter.
-
“Fuck– These all jus’ gonna get fuckin’ deleted, huh? Damn it. It– Fuck. Whateva, right? Ain’t a big deal. Prob’ly fo’ the best an’ all tha’ shit. I, uh… I dunno wha’ ta even say ‘ere. S’not much ta say, I think. It, uh… It was good knowin’ ya? Y’cool, aight? Like, yer real fuckin’ cool. Don’ think I gotta worry all tha’ much ‘bout ya… But, uh. Take care’a yerself? Yeah… Take care, Av’ry.”
-
Devery took a breath, listened to the pause. Nothing was said for a moment. Seconds ticked by. He’d thought it was over already, the first time he’d listened to it. He knew better with how many times he’d heard it now. So he waited, and Garvin laughed on the other side a little while later.
-
“Y’know what? I do have an idea fo’ wha’ ta say. Fuckin’ cheers, Levy.”
-
The voicemail ended. He put his phone down before he could play it again.
*~*~*
“Hello. You’ve, uhm, you’ve reached Aries. I’m not able to answer the phone right now. Um. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
---
He’d woken up before Briar that morning, grabbing his phone so he wasn’t tempted to wake his partner, only to find a missed call and voicemail message from Nobody on the device. He’d grabbed the earbuds he kept on the nightstand for mornings like that one and tried calling back first, before he’d even listened to the voicemail. After all, Garvin hadn’t called multiple times before leaving a message, and given the time stamp– His best friend had probably just wanted to talk to someone but none of his partners had been awake. With that being the decided reason he’d been called to begin with, he wasn’t too surprised when his call rang through.
-
“Yo, Garvin’s not ‘ere, duh. I prob’ly can’t find m’phone right now but I’ll call ya when I do… How’s tha’ fer y’all? Hm? Oh, I hafta–”
-
He’d decided that Odysseus was probably busy by then, he’d been fairly sure that his partners would’ve been up by then. So he’d switched to the voicemail, just to find out what Garvin had wanted to talk about when he’d called. He hadn’t expected the empty voice on the other side.
-
“I, uh, won’ waste ya time too much. I jus’ got sum stuff ta say, uh. ‘M plannin’ ta call ev’ryone. Most ev’ryone. Kinda. Doesn’t r’lly matter.”
-
There was a pause. He didn’t like the sound of Nobody’s voice. He took a breath in time with his best friend.
-
“Fuck– This shit always hard ta start. Uh… First off, uh, take care. Keep yerself safe an’ good an’ all that. Don’ go throwin’ yerself away ‘cause ya blamin’ yerself or sum stupid shit like tha’, aight? Don’ do tha’ shit. None’a yer blamin’ yerself bullshit. This… This ain’t yer fault. I jus’…”
-
There was another pause, he shifted, ignoring the shaking of his hands.
-
“‘M jus’ a piece’a shit, s’all. Y’ain’t done nothin’ wrong. Aight? You were a real good friend ta me, Clare. ‘M s’rry fo’ muckin’ up yer life.”
-
Aries listened as Garvin paused, taking a breath. He didn’t like where this seemed to be heading. He didn’t want to be right. Odysseus almost seemed amused when he started speaking again.
-
“An’, uh, ‘m s’rry fo’ nev’a figurin’ out ‘ow ta say all ‘em names in yer books. ‘S a lot’a fuckin’ words an’ shit tha’ don’ make sense in ‘em. I… Don’ r’lly… know wha’ else ta say. I, uh. I figured this was gonna be easier than, uh… Y’know. Writin’ a note or sumthin’. ‘Cause, can’t r’lly do all tha’ shit. An’ all. Uh.”
-
His blood ran cold, his throat closing on him. Nobody was quiet for a moment and then laughed. He hated the sound, hated how final the sound seemed.
-
“Fuck– I don’ know wha’ ‘m doin’. ‘M fuckin’ ramblin’ ‘ere. Feel free ta get rid’a this shit, doesn’ r’lly make muchuva difference ta me. I mean– Not like I’ll be ‘ere ta care ‘bout whateva ya decide ta do wit this shit.”
-
Garvin paused again, there was the sound of a heavy breath. Aries tried not to wake Briar as he shifted, trying to find a way to hold his phone without his hands shaking. When Odysseus spoke again, his tone seemed somber, far away.
-
“‘M s’rry fo’ doin’ this ta you, Pallas Wan’be. ‘M s’rry tha’ ‘m not the first ta do this ta you. This ain’t yer fault. None’a this shit ‘as ever been yer fault. Not wit any’a the fuckers tha’ve done this shit… Take care, Caelum.”
-
The voicemail ended. He stared at the screen of his phone.
*~*~*
“Hey, it’s Briar, call ya back soon! Leave yer message after the tone!”
-
“Ha, gotcha! Try again!”
-
“Twice in a row, huh? Okay, fine, I’ll let ya actually do it this time, promise.”
---
“Hey, Bri! Uh. Fuck, tha’ was way too, uh– Whateva. Uh. This ain’t a good call or an’thin’, s’rry fo’ all tha’ hype righ’ dere. An’ways, uhm. This shit’s still hard ta start wit. I think y’woulda been easier ta call later but… Well, ‘m jus’ avoidin’ callin’ an’one at… At the ‘partment I been stayin’ at. I dunno if ‘Certa’s awake or not. I don’ r’lly… I don’ wan’ risk it. Y’know? I’ll hafta at sum point, I mean. ‘M callin’ ev’ryone. Kinda. Mos’ly jus’ the ones tha’... The ones tha’ I ‘ave sumthin’ ta say ta, an’ all. But. Y’know.”
-
He gave a slight breathy laugh.
-
“I dunno wha’ ‘m fuckin’ doin’, ‘Cana. I dunno wha’ ta say. I feel like I keep repeatin’ m’self in these… This ain’t yer fault, ain’t no one’s fault but mine.”
-
He paused, and then laughed again, louder than last time but still nowhere near cheerful.
-
“Don’ let an’one take m’credit, Rye. Y’hear me? Tha’ includes yerself, bud. I don’ wan’ y’all blamin’ an’one but me. An’one else jus’ takes ‘way all the effort I put inta destroyin’ m’self. Don’ let an’one take tha’ spotlight from me, yeah?”
-
He paused as he shifted.
-
“‘M a fuckin’ dumbass. Jus’ uh, take care’a yerself. Y’know? I don’ wantcha ta stop takin’ care’a yerself jus’ ‘cause’a me. I mean, c’mon, dere’s better shit ta make ya stop takin’ care’a yerself than me. I dunno if an’s’a this’s ac’lly sumthin’ ta worry ‘bout or not, ta be real wit’cha. ‘M r’lly not wort’cha carin’ ‘nough ta throw yerself ‘way ‘cause’a me, so…”
-
He paused, took a deep, heavy breath.
-
“Fuck, hey. Ya can, uh, ya can get rid’a this shit if ya don’ wan’ it or need it or an’a tha’ shit. I dunno. ‘M fuckin’ stupid. None’a this fuckin’ matters an’ways. Take care’a yerself, Tucana.”
-
He ended the voicemail.
*~*~*
“Okay, okay, I’ll call you back soon! Promise! Take care of yourself, okay? Love you, bye!”
---
He was quiet for a few seconds.
-
“Uh, hey, Pavo. I…”
-
He paused, tried again.
-
“Fuck– Listen, Lyra, I fuckin’ love ya, ‘kay? An’ ya don’ deserve this shitty ass call. None’a y’all do. An’ ‘m s’rry fo’ doin’ this shit ta y’all. Fo’ makin’ y’all care ‘bout sumthin’ y’all shouldn’t’ve ever cared ‘bout. This ain’t yer fault, ‘kay? This could nev’a be yer fault. I don’ wan’cha blamin’ yerself. Y’can blame me, or ya can blame no one. Doesn’ make too muchuva difference. I jus’ don’ wan’cha ta blame yerself, ‘kay?”
-
He took a breath.
-
“‘M jus’, uh… ‘M r’lly jus’ callin’ ta tell ya tha’ I love ya. An’ tha’ yer great. Uh. Tha’ ‘m s’rry fo’ doin’ this t’you.”
-
He cleared his throat.
-
“I… This ain’t ‘cause’a you. I promise it ain’t ‘cause’a you. I don’ think ya could ever be at fault, even if ya tried ta be, if ‘m bein’ honest. Yer great. Ya’ve been nothin’ but the kindest fuckin’ soul I ever gotten ta met. An’ I love ya, an’ I prob’ly nev’a said tha’ ‘nough. Not as much as I shoulda. This ain’t yer fault though. An’ I don’ care how kind ya are, ya gotta take care’a yerself, not jus’ ev’ryone else. Yer gon’ wanna help an’ tha’s jus’ ‘ow ya are but’cha gotta help yerself too. ‘Kay?”
-
He took a breath, swallowing the lump in his throat.
-
“Y’all’ll be fine. I ain’t tha’ hard ta get over. Jus’ make sure ya don’ fall ‘part ‘fore ya can, y’know? A few days… Maybe a week. Y’all’ll get dere. You’ll get dere. I, uh… Jus’ make sure yer lookin’ afta yerself too, an’ not jus’ ev’ryone else ‘til y’all do. ‘Kay? Love ya, Vega, an’ ‘m s’rry fo’ doin’ this ta you.”
-
He ended the voicemail.
*~*~*
“Sup, ‘t’s Akira! S’rry I didn’t pick up, prolly hangin’ out with my partners or somethin’, call ya back soon, but ya gotta promise ta bring me some food next time we meet! Aight, byeee!”
---
“S’rry tha’ I won’t be able ta bring ya food. Or meet’cha ‘gain. Uh.”
-
He paused, taking a breath.
-
“Fuck, these’re gettin’ harder ta do, y’know? None’a y’all deserve this shit. ‘M s’rry. Fo’ doin’ this. Fo’ makin’ y’all wake up ta all’a this. ‘M s’rry fo’ all’a this.”
-
He shifted, clearing his throat.
-
“I bas’lly got a whole ass, uh… A, uh… Fuck, whateva. Uh. I’ve done ‘nough’a these ta ‘ave shit ‘m sayin’ ta ev’ryone. I dunno. I don’ think yer gon’ listen ta an’a tha’. I don’ think an’one is gon’ listen ta an’a wha’ I told ‘em.”
-
He took a breath.
-
“I wanted ta call ya first, y’know? Thought it’d be, uh… Y’know. Real smart. Or sumthin’. I don’ r’lly know. I didn’ call ya first an’ways. Called Levy first, act’lly. I wasn’t sure if callin’ you woulda woke up ‘Certa or not. An’, uh… I dunno. I didn’ r’lly wanna call an’one at all, I guess. Y’all deserve sumthin’ though, y’know? So ya don’ think ‘m jus’ missin’ or sumthin’. Y’end up lookin’ fo’ me then, an’ ya’d prob’ly be the one ta find me, an’, uh… I don’ r’lly wan’cha ta ‘ave ta be the one tha’ finds me. I don’ r’lly wan’ an’a y’all ta find me. So. ‘M callin’ an’ makin’ sure none’a y’all come lookin’ ‘cause ‘m jus’ tellin’ ya wha’s goin’ on, I guess. I dunno. Can’t even r’lly remember wha’ all I said ta ev’one else.”
-
He cleared his throat again, coughing.
-
“I think I chose a shit way. S’whateva but. Y’know. ‘M jus’ ‘plaining ‘bout nothin’. Same shit I always do an’ways an’ all. Uh.”
-
He took a breath, shifting his head to look up and swallowing the lump in his throat.
-
“I think yer a fuckin’ light, ‘Quilla. Y’know s’tha’ one’s a bird? A, uh— An eagle, I think. Can’t remember if I toldja tha’ ‘fore or not. I dunno if Crescen’ did or not eit’er. Yer fuckin’ great though. I fuckin’ love ya. Yer so great. I–”
-
He sniffled, and had to clear his throat again. He didn’t want to cry.
-
“Fuck, I nev’a deserved you– None’a y’all, r’lly. Y’all all’re fuckin’ stars. Big ol’ balls’a gas, lightin’ up the sky day an’ night an’– An’ ‘m nothin’. Y’know? ‘M fuckin’ nothin’.”
-
He went quiet for a few moments.
-
“I love ya. Love all’a y’all. This ain’t yer fault. This ain’t ever gonna be yer fault. Keep yerself safe, an’ livin’, an’ jus’ all tha’ shit. I love ya. Don’cha dare fuckin’ blame yerself. S’my blame ta ‘ave. Let me ‘ave it, yeah? ‘M s’rry fo’ doin’ this. Love you, Altair.”
-
He ended the voicemail.
*~*~*
“Hello, this is Revan Rowland. Somehow, you’ve managed to call me at a time that I’m unable to answer. As I’m sure your call is important, please leave a message and I will get back to you promptly.”
---
He had woken up first, as he usually did when the others managed to convince him to actually sleep. He’d been careful getting up, and then took a few seconds to realize that he wasn’t the first one awake. He shifted, grabbing his phone and glasses as he stepped back to look at the beds again. To do a recount and see if he’d seen wrong. But no, Garvin wasn’t in bed. He shifted his weight around on his feet, and made his way carefully out of the room to see if he’d moved to the couch.
-
When he wasn’t there or in the kitchen, he felt his brows furrow and looked at his phone to see if he could use the location app to find him. He ended up not even needing to open his phone to find the problem. He had a missed call and voicemail from Garvin. He stared at it, at the timestamp that told him that he’d called and left a message hours ago.
-
His stomach turned, and he tapped on the voicemail notification. It took him to the app in a moment, and he pressed on Garvin’s message to play it.
-
“H-Hey, ‘Certa. I, uh, ‘m jus’ callin’ ta–”
-
He sounded like he was crying, like he had been crying. Revan didn’t like the sound of it. He didn’t like how choked up Garvin’s voice was.
-
“I jus’ w-wanna say ‘m s’rry. ‘M so fuckin’ s’rry. An’ ya shouldn’t forgive me but ‘m s’rry an’ I– I don’ fuckin’ know, ‘m s’rry. ‘M s’rry f-fo’ ev’rythin’. ‘M s’rry tha’ ‘m gonna be puttin’ ya through all’a this, I jus– I-I dunno. ‘M s’rry. ‘M s’rry tha’ I wasted s’much’a yer money. A-An’ yer time, an’ yer effort, an’ yer– Yer fuckin’ ev’rythin’. ‘M s’rry.”
-
Garvin paused. Revan didn’t like where this seemed to be going. He started towards a seat, and tried to believe that he could hope he was wrong. He doubted it. He hoped anyway. Garvin cleared his throat, he didn’t sound like he was crying as much.
-
“I, uh– Fuck, uh… R’lly jump’d the gun dere, huh? Had a– Had a whole thin’ an’ all. S’prob’ly better though, tha’ I did. Uh. I nev’a r’lly said s’rry ‘nough ta ya an’ways, I think. So. Uh.”
-
Garvin cleared his throat again, and then started coughing. Revan sat down in the seat he’d reached, waiting for the fit to pass. It sounded worse, more violent than it usually did. It didn’t help his worries at all.
-
“S-S’rry. Fer tha’. Uh. I, uh, ‘m callin’ the others too. Uh. Think I’s only got’s, uh, Apus, act’lly. I-I dunno. I’ll ‘ave ta look. ‘M s’rry.”
-
Garvin paused. He didn’t like the sound of his voice. Not when he sounded so distant, not when sounded like he was on the verge of crying again. Revan waited for him to speak again, watching the seconds go by on the screen of his phone.
-
“I, uh… Think-Thinkin’s hard righ’ now… Talkin’s ‘ard righ’ now. I don– Fuck, uh… I…”
-
Garvin trailed. Revan bit his tongue, waited for the silence to pass. He didn’t like how it was going. He didn’t like where it seemed to be going. He shouldn’t have let them convince him to go to sleep.
-
“Don’, uh, don’ blame yerself. It ain’t yer fault. Y’ain’t done nothin’ wrong. Y’ain’t done an’thin’ ta cause this shit. Y’ain’t nev’a done an’thin’ ta cause an’a the shit ya’ve dealt wit. I jus’... I ain’t ever deserved y’all. Y’all all deserve s’much better ‘an me. Y’know? Y’all jus’ deser’e better.”
-
He paused. His breath was caught in his throat. He didn’t want to listen to the rest of it, he couldn’t drag his eyes away from how much time was left in the voicemail. He couldn’t drag his eyes away from the timestamp telling him when he’d gotten it.
-
“I love ya– I love all’a y’all. Y’all’re all so… Yer all s’nice. An’ great. Don– Don’ miss me t’much, y’know? I… I don’ wan’ be wrong an’ all. Bit t’late fer tha’ now, y’know? I… This ain’t yer fault. I promise y’tha’, love. ‘M s’rry fer doin’ this t’you. ‘M s’rry fo’ not doin’ it sooner, while y’all didn’ care a’all. I don– I dunno why I didn’ do dis sooner…”
-
Garvin trailed off again. It was far too clear what the reasoning behind the call and voicemail had been. The voicemail was from hours ago. The missed call had been hours ago. Garvin coughed, a slight sound that still seemed too violent.
-
“T-Take care’a y’self, yeah? Let all’a ‘em getcha outta work ev’ry s’often. Y’know? Y’gotta take care’a y’self. Don’ shut ‘em out ‘cause yer tryna blame y’self. Jus’ don’ blame y’self a’all. It ain’t ‘cause a’you. It ain’t ‘cause an’one but me. So take care’a y’self, pl’se. I-I love ya, ‘kay? L-Love all’a y’all.”
-
Breathing was hard, listening as Garvin took a breath and then delved into another far too violent coughing fit. He wondered, for a moment, if Ingall had actually gotten that voicemail Garvin had mentioned. He wasn’t sure which option would be better.
-
“I– Don’ blame y’self. Make sure yer takin’ care’a y’sef. I-I love ya, Sirius.”
-
The voicemail ended. Reven stared at the timestamps and tried to figure out what to do.
*~*~*
“Hello, I’m so sorry I missed your call, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. If you need to, leave a message, I promise I’ll respond as fast as I can! Sorry again, talk to you soon! Goodbye.”
---
He stared up at the stars for a few seconds before speaking.
-
“‘Ey, Apus. ‘M ‘ere. Uh. I… I ‘unno. Dis shi’s all fucked. Y’know? I don’ e’en know wha’ ‘m doin’ righ’ now. S’fine. Uh. I was, uh– I was gon’ say sum shi’ or sumthin’ but… I ‘unno. S’late. Y’prob’ly tired.”
-
He paused, and then tried to laugh.
-
“Or, I guess, righ’ now y’prob’ly still sleepin’ act’lly. But, uh, y’know. ‘M s’rry y’gettin’ dis call. Uh. Don’ blame yerself. I don’ wan’cha ta do tha’ when s’my fault. Take care’a y’self. I… I love ya. I r’lly do. ‘M s’rry ‘m doin’ this t’you. Y’don’ deser’e it…”
-
He took a breath, stared at the darkened sky above him.
-
“‘M s’rry fo’ fuckin’ up s’much. ‘M s’rry fo’ a lot, I think. I ‘unno why I nev’a… I didn’ say it ‘nough. ‘M s’rry.”
-
He blinked, and tried to hold back a coughing fit.
-
“I, uh… I don’ ‘ave much else t’say. I can’t think’a much t’say… I…”
-
He swallowed the lump in his throat, and started coughing. He blinked, took as deep a breath as he could manage, and tried not to cry again.
-
“I-I m’ss yer voice– Lis’nin’ t’you talkin’ an’ readin’ an’ rantin’ an– Jus’ ev’rythin’. Y’got such a pr’tty voice an’ y’such a great guy an’… ‘M s’rry fo’ doin’ this t’you. ‘M such a fuck up. I don’t…”
-
He blinked, sniffling and trying to ignore that he was crying again.
-
“I, uh… ‘M gonna stay on t’line fo’ a bit. So. S’rry ‘bout t’long voice… Whateva ‘t’s an’ all. I… I don’ wanna… I don’ wan’ lose ya yet… I don’ wanna be ‘lone ‘gain yet. E’en ‘ough I am an’ dis ya ain’t act’lly ‘ere an’ all. I– I jus’ wanna pre’end fo’ a bit, s’all. I…”
-
He trailed, staring at the stars blurred in the sky. He shifted so his trench coat was pulled tighter around him, listening to the static of the phone that he’d sat on the parapet beside him. He sat in relative silence for a while, focus drifting in and out, diving into a coughing fit anytime he breathed in too deeply. When he did speak again, he wasn’t too sure how long it had been but he did know he still had tears in his eyes and in his throat.
-
“Sumthin’s wrong wit me, y’know? Sumthin’s jus’ wrong wit me. I ‘unno why ‘m e’en doin’ all’a dis. I-I jus’ am. ‘M jus’ a fuckin’ piece’a shi’, y’know?”
-
He paused for a second, almost letting himself drift into silence again. He forced himself to keep talking.
-
“T’stars’re nice t’nigh’ a’least.”
-
He took a breath.
-
“I nev’a meant ta trick all’a y’all. Y’know tha’, righ’? ‘M s’rry tha’ I did. ‘M s’rry fo’ makin’ y’all think y’cared. Wasn’ fair t’y’all. Y’great, Cres’ an’ I ‘ope no one ev’r ‘olds y’back ‘gain afta ‘m gone. ‘M sure y’all’ll be fine. Y’jus’ gotta let y’self be. ‘M not tha’ ‘ard ta move on from.”
-
He paused, forced himself to grab the phone on the parapet beside him.
-
“‘M s’rry fo’ doin’ dis t’you. T’all’a y’all.”
-
He heard himself sniffle, swallowed the lump in his throat and stared up.
-
“Po’aris, m-my sai’or’s star… Such a… Yer so…”
-
He trailed, almost dropped the phone in one of his hands. He wasn’t sure which one.
-
“P-P’laris… I ‘on’t… Y’so fuckin’ swee’ t’me… Al-Always dere… An’ now– An’ now ‘m doin’ dis t’you, Po’aris. I on’t– I nev’a deserv’d ya. Y’always so– So fuckin’ pa’ien’ wit me…”
-
His breath hitched for a moment, he swallowed the lump still in his throat and tried not to cough. His mouth felt like lead, he forced himself to speak. He didn’t want to get the nickname wrong again.
-
“I-I love ya, Polaris… An’ ‘m s’rry. Don’ blame y’self.”
-
He ended the voicemail.
Winter 
Day 
