Song: Panic by SM6. (altered slightly to fit better/avoid repetition)
Characters: Garvin. (Fintan, Devery, and Max O’Rielly are mentioned.)
Context: This song is so great. It goes over the sketchy gang/mafia again. It’s easily the worst of the songs though. So uh. Yeah. It only goes over stuff that’s happening after Yari’s death.
TWs: Implied sexual abuse/assault, implied abuse in general, and suicide attempt.
*~*~*~*
*Starting off strong, we have the immediate aftermath of Garvin having retreated to the bathroom’s at one of the parties because it’d been pushing his limits (and he isn’t good at stealing if he’s past his limits, is the reasoning he uses to rationalize to himself why he wants to get away). Only, someone in the bathroom’s ended up pushing right past his limits. And he missed a call from Fintan due to it being while that was happening. So. Lot’s going on and none of it’s good.*
Garvin, left behind in the bathroom’s, practically hiding in one of the stalls and trying not to freak out; “Stuck in the bathroom stall and I know I declined your call...”
Garvin, fumbling to pull the burner phone out and call Fintan back, because he’s never happy when Garvin misses a call from him; “I hope you don’t take it personally...”
Garvin, quickly spiraling and almost trying to joke about it, trying to figure out what to say, trying to call Fintan back or calm down and get back out there like he ‘should be’; “I don’t mean to freak you out but I’m not really good right now- I’m in a state of emergency..”
Garvin, cue the panic attack, spiral, and being completely unable to do anything that he’d been trying to do; “It feels like— What’s this?— Can’t breathe— All my anxieties— Coming for me— I try to scream but— I just start to panic—”
*Switch up the timeline! Some more aftermath of stuff happening. Not at a party, but the day after one.*
Garvin, still reeling and trying to recover from the night before, unsure why he feels so terrible when everything happening is ‘normal’ and ‘good’ and ‘wanted’; “I’m spinning out right now, no highs only come downs. Why do I feel so trapped? Why is my head so loud?”
*Switch it up again, Garvin’s reaction to the above is to basically just insist on going to even more parties (because obviously that’ll fix everything). Which Fintan’s a huge fan of, of course. Anyways, everything goes wrong constantly and he continuously ends up throwing up blood by the end of the night due to just how hard he falls onto drugs during this time.*
Garvin, leaned over bloody vomit, almost laughing; “I’m really freaking out, I’m so fucked up right now... I’m in a state of emergency..”
*Switch it up yet again! We’re back in the shower now with this one, another one of those scrub until he bleeds panic attacks and dissociation, the amount he ends up doing this increases a lot during this time, actually.*
Garvin, spiraling and panicking and quickly falling into heavy dissociation; "It feels like— What’s this?— Can’t breathe— All my anxieties— Clawing for me— I try to scream but— I just start to panic.. I just start to panic...”
*Switch it up again now! To that fateful July day where Devery ends up finding Garvin overdosed and bleeding in an alley. Aka, after Garvin had left the sketchy gang/mafia with the sole idea of committing suicide.*
Garvin, thinking he’d succeed at the auicide attempt, referencing how he always knew he’d end up dying on the streets, and trying to use that as some last sort of comfort; “I wanna be alone... On these fucking streets, I’m at home...”
Garvin, officially stumbling in the alley to collapse on the ground, everything spinning, grip on his bloody switchblade dropping, and passing out; “My heart is racing, it’s hard to breathe... Spiraling on the ground, with some flashing lights all around... I’m in a state of emergency...”
*Switching it up, Garvin wakes up in a hospital alone. As per usual. He hadn’t wanted that to happen though, so he understandably panics.*
Garvin, confused and frustrated and quickly spiraling into dissociation, still trying to rationalize what happened; “It feels like... It feels like... I just— I just- I just.. I just...”
*Switching up the timeline again! Garvin’s officially in Max O’Rielly’s house for the rest of July. As one could predict, he isn’t very responsive for a good bit. The first time Max leaves the house after all of it though, Garvin ends up stumbling into the kitchen and seeing the calendar Max has. Which, of course, triggers a dissociated panic attack.*
Garvin, staring at just how much time is left in July, the fact he survived hitting him full force, the mess of his life hitting him full force, and quickly spiraling; “What’s this?— Can’t breathe— All my anxieties— Clawing for me— I try to scream but— I just start to panic...”
Spring 
Day Weather: 
