Here it is! Enjoy! None of it is set in stone, of course, since we aren't to this point yet haha-
Calling It Quits
Characters; Garvin, Akira, and Devery. Nico, Ingall, Revan, and Briar mentioned.
Prompt; Whumpril Day 3 - Shame
Word Count; 1,765.
TWs; Lots of self-loathing, like, wow. Just a ton of depression in general, honestly. Uhm… Yeah. Implied past abuse/injuries.
Notes; Takes place at the end of the Recovery Arc and beginning of the July Arc.
*~*~*~*
Maybe it was how he woke up, with his heart in his throat, falling out of the bed he was in and onto the floor with a small groan. Or maybe it wasn’t. Garvin didn’t know. What he did know was that today was going to be shitty. He didn’t even know what day it was. But it wasn’t one he wanted to be awake for, he knew that much, even if he didn’t know why or how he knew.
-
So instead of picking himself off the ground or checking the time using the clock in the shared room or checking to see if he’d woken up Aquila (which he doubted, they could sleep through anything except, it seemed, food)… He let himself lay right where he’d fallen and tried to go back to sleep.
-
Instead of managing that, though, he found himself drifting in and out of it instead. Just his luck, really. He wasn’t too sure how long it went for, given how he hadn’t checked the time at any point. But he did hear as Thistle started getting up. Which meant he needed to get up, needed to move and go to breakfast with them.
-
Except, he couldn’t quite find it in himself to do that. Even the idea of food didn’t seem as appealing as it usually did. Truth be told, it didn’t seem appealing at all. Nothing seemed all that appealing.
-
He tried not to notice as Aki walked over, softer than they would have before, and crouched beside him. They didn’t reach out to touch though, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was glad they didn’t. What Garvin wasn’t glad for was how soft their voice was when they spoke, full of pity and worry that just shouldn’t be directed at him. Out of everyone there was to pity or worry about or care for, he wasn’t one of them. If anything, he was at least grateful that they still tried to come off as casual, even with how dumb the tone made the words sound.
-
“Hey, Vinny, it’s time for breakfast..”
-
He squeezed his eyes shut, only slightly wincing as he did, and tried to think of a response that wouldn’t make them worry. Tried not to think about how Kira didn’t usually use nicknames. Tried not to think about how it was supposed to be his job to wake them up for breakfast. He tried to make the idea of breakfast, of food, sound good. The more he thought about it, the less and less he wanted to get up to go eat. The more he wanted them to stop using that stupid fucking tone with him, like he’d break if they didn’t, like he deserved any of their care, like they weren’t going to leave someday.
-
So he huffed, and gave up on trying to figure something out to say that could salvage the morning. He kept his eyes closed, and tried to keep his voice level. “‘M not hungry, ‘quila.”
-
Silence stretched out for a moment and he wished that they’d just leave it be. Accept that he just wasn’t hungry and move on. He hated that they had reason to not let it be, hated that it was such an obvious tell with him. Hated that when the silence broke, their voice seemed even softer than before.
-
“You sure?” There was a beat of hesitation, like they weren’t sure themself if what they were about to say was a good idea. “..Do you want me to stay?”
-
The question stung a lot more than it should’ve. Because he did, on some level that was still pretending to be someone that people could care about, he wanted them to stay. He refused to admit that out loud though, especially with how much he knew Akeri probably just wanted to go and get breakfast. He shook his head against the floor, wincing at the feeling and trying to ignore the way it threatened to make his breath hitch, nausea settling in his stomach as if he wasn’t already against the thought of eating, and he spoke. “Jus’ go an’ eat.”
-
Nothing happened for a moment, and Garvin was almost certain that they’d decide to stay anyway. Then, he heard as they stood and started walking away. The sound of the door to the room opening and closing soon after was almost a relief. If he didn’t know that it only meant that they’d be going to the eating area, where Pavo and Angel were bound to be waiting to see both of them. And, damn it, maybe even Specs and Tucana would be there too. Just great. He’d be ruining everyone’s day because of his stupid as shit inability to at least act okay.
-
…He laid there on his side for a while longer, half-waiting to hear the door open again, before he forced himself to sit up. Chances were that one of them would end up bringing him food, or check on him like he couldn’t handle being alone, like he hadn’t handled exactly that for years. Frankly, he didn’t want to be here when any of them showed up. They shouldn’t care as much as they did, and if they were just pretending to care (they were, they had to be) due to some messed up, unnecessary pity? He wished they’d just stop. He didn’t need it, he didn’t want it, and he didn’t even deserve it.
-
So he forced himself to his feet and ignored how hard it still was to walk, ignored how much worse his vision still was, ignored everything that told him just how little he’d actually healed, and found his way into at least getting his boots on before he left. He’d stopped taking his trench coat off at all a while ago, because curse him, he’d missed it, so he was already wearing it. Which meant that as soon as his boots were on, he was out of the room and in one of the rebellions’ halls instead.
-
Garvin avoided the eating area, making his way to the way out that didn’t have him having to go through where everyone was eating. He didn’t feel like seeing any of them, he didn’t feel like seeing anyone. At all. He couldn’t even muster up his grin. He was, quite honestly, being so incredibly pathetic. It didn’t really seem to matter though. Today was shit, whoopsie do. Who’d have thought? He still wasn’t sure why today was so… Bad.
-
As much as he still hated walking at the moment, it wasn’t hard to get out of the base. He’d been there long enough to know the layout and no one was there to slow him down. Still, it felt like he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He wasn’t even sure where he was going to go, he just didn’t want any of their pity or fake care or fake worry or— Or any of it. He didn’t want it. He wasn’t someone who was supposed to get it. Then again, leaving the base didn’t seem like a good idea. Not when he wasn’t fully healed, not alone.
-
But he’d never been one to care if something was a good idea or not. And he hated the idea of proving any of them right. So he left the base and started walking. As much as he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t want to be near anyone that was going to throw concern at him as if they actually cared.
-
Which… That did leave Levy. He hadn’t even seen him in a while either, with how everyone else was acting. And if he did go to Dev’s apartment, none of them could throw a fit about it. His apartment was pretty close too, so they really wouldn’t have any reason to be upset or something.
-
Walking to Devy’s apartment was easy enough, even with the stubborn injuries that just didn’t want to leave. He’d managed the walk in worse shape before anyways.
-
Garvin reached the apartment right as his friend was walking out, and watched as he stopped at the sight of him. Levi didn’t stay stopped for long though, and started walking towards him instead, meeting him halfway before speaking, tone still that casually uncaring one that only he seemed able to do nowadays.
-
“Hey dude, haven’t seen you in a while. What’re you doing here?”
-
Trying not to wince, he shrugged, there hadn’t ever really been any point in watching his words with Vee. But he’d also just never been the type to admit anything out loud. “Yeah, well, ya know. Had ta get out.”
-
His friend nodded, like that was all he’d needed to say for him to understand. Then again, maybe it was. At least they were both walking to go into his apartment now. When they were inside, Eve looked over at him, voice still as apathetic as he wished everyone could manage being. “Not gonna lie, I wasn’t really expecting you for like, a few more days. So I still have, like, one person that’s going to be coming over at some point. I figure you know what I have you do for that kind of shit anyways though, so whatever.”
-
He nodded, feeling only a little out of the loop for what that meant before he caught sight of the calendar on the wall. Right in time with a phone going off with messages and a call, everything came crashing down as he stood there. Veve groaned next to him, fishing out his phone and looking down at it before looking back at him. “Aight, well, I’ve got to handle this. You go ahead and do whatever, I guess.”
-
Again, he nodded, half heartedly still looking at the calendar telling him there were only a couple more days left in June. Which was great. Just great. Exactly what he needed right now.
-
…No wonder today was a shit day. He huffed, and made his way to the couch in the apartment. At least it meant he didn’t actually have to go back to the base then. That was just about the only good thing about it. He let himself fall onto the couch when he reached it, shifting only enough so he was laying down on it. Then, he stared up at the ceiling and tried not to notice anything. He was honestly already done with himself today. He’d try again tomorrow, or whatever it was people said. He didn’t care, and it just didn’t matter.
Spring 
Day Weather: 
