Loreto, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.
Tatsuya: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...
Lennox, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?
Loreto, spraying Tatsuya: You FUCKING DUMBASS!
Tatsuya: Dude, I forgot-
Loreto: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?
Dolion: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*
-
*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*
Loreto: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Tatsuya: No, Loreto. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Loreto: No, that’s not part of it—
Tatsuya: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Dolion: I would want to live with no legs.
Tatsuya: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Dolion. You don’t do anything.
Loreto: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. *Tatsuya pumps frantically* Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.
Tatsuya: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Lennox: How’s that gonna help you?
Tatsuya: I will divide and then count to it.
Lennox: Right.
Loreto: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
Tatsuya: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.
-
Lennox: What do we think of Dolion?
*pause*
Loreto: *sighs* Nice pal.
Tatsuya: I think they're gay.
-
Tatsuya, teaching Dolion to drive: Okay, you're driving and Loreto and Lennox walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Dolion: Oh, definitely Lennox. I could never hurt Loreto.
Tatsuya, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
-
Loreto: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Lennox: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Loreto: You don’t have to wear…
Lennox: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
-
Lennox: What? I'm not aggressive!
Loreto: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?
Lennox: Survival of the fittest, bitch.
-
Garvin: Which country has the most birds?
Garvin: Portu-geese!
Suya: That's a language.
Garvin: Portu-gull?
Suya: Good recovery.
Jayco: I think you mean good re-dovery.
Brosc: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?
-
Suya, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Jayco: Gray.
Garvin: Grey.
Suya, turning to Brosc: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Brosc: Dark white.
-
Jayco: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Brosc: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Garvin: A realist sees a freight train.
Suya: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
-
Brosc: *falls down the stairs*
Jayco: Are you okay?
Suya: Stop falling down the stairs!
Garvin: How’d the ground taste?
-
Brosc: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Brosc: *aggressively throws water bottles*
Garvin: Uh... what's up with them?
Suya: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
Brosc: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Jayco, crying: It's working.
-
Len: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Gen: What changed your mind?
Len: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.
-
Gen: Who hurt you?
Len: *snorting* What, do you want a list?
Gen: ...Yes, actually.
-
Len: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Gen: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
Spring 
Day 
Heavy Rain
