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Neutral
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A man applied for a job at a construction firm ~ "We take turns making the cofee," said the foreman. "Do you know how to make coffee? +"I sure do," said rge applicant. ~"And can you drive a forklift?" +"Why? Just how big is the coffee maker?" |
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Darkseeker
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- What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup! |
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Lightbringer
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Tonneoshet said:
A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. ~ Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. ~ They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they called him, and he agreed to give a shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Now where is God?" ~ The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question even louder, "Where is God!?" ~ Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD!?" ~ The boy suddenly ran out of the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" ~ The younger brother replied, "We are in a BIG mess of trouble this time. God has gone missing and they think WE did it!"
Best joke I ever heard XD |
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Neutral
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Last one for this afternoon ~ A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish." ~ Stunned and confused, the biker pulled over, looked up, and said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want!" ~ The Lord replied, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the ocean! The amount of concrete and steel it would take to build! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." ~ The biker sat and thought about it for a long time. Finally he looked up and said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly, truly happy." ~ The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" |
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Darkseeker
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What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable. What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie. |
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Darkseeker
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XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
Tonneoshet said:
Last one for this afternoon ~ A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish." ~ Stunned and confused, the biker pulled over, looked up, and said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want!" ~ The Lord replied, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the ocean! The amount of concrete and steel it would take to build! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." ~ The biker sat and thought about it for a long time. Finally he looked up and said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly, truly happy." ~ The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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Darkseeker
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What would bears be without bees? Ears. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. |
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Neutral
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Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff. |
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Darkseeker
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RIP, boiling water. You will be mist. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
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Darkseeker
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??
Moonlight Wanderers said:
Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff.
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Winter 
Night 
Blizzard Moon: 
