Sky felt a slight wave of comfort when Alex put his hand in his. He didn't know what they were, or what they would become, what mattered was that Alex was there with Sky and he wasn't going anywhere. "It's okay," Sky said, pausing for a moment before continuing, "You don't have to say anything." He finished. His voice was soft-spoken, but filled with many emotions. He didn't know what emotion to really feel at the moment. After a moment of silence, like a light switch, Sky's realization hit him. What had just happened, Alex was the one to witness it all. Alex was the one to take Sky's outburst of emotions and see him almost dead on the floor. Sky knew it was bad, but he just pushed those thoughts away, now they all came flooding back. He couldn't just pretend like nothing happened. "Im not." Sky began but stopped himself. He didn't want to argue at all, but he didn't want to not say anything. So he thought for a moment before opening his mouth again. "Alex I-." Sky began, slightly squeezing Alex's hand. "I didn't just overdose by accident." He confessed, his words much quieter than before. "I couldn't deal anymore, it was too much, I'm too much. You don't deserve this Alex." Sky said, his words coming out without any thought. He stopped squeezing Alex's hand, and pulled it away. Looking away, he began to grow afraid of what Alex would say. As much as he wanted Alex, and wanted to be with him, he couldn't bare to put him through this even more than what he'd already been through.

When Skylar spoke, his voice gentle but weighted with emotions, Alex couldn't help but look up at him, drawn by the sound. His gaze met Skylar's, and though there were still unshed tears in Alex's eyes and a frown pulling at his lips, he didn't bother to hide any of it. How could he? The two of them were standing on the precipice of something raw and fragile, and there was no room for pretending anymore. He could see it in Skylar's face too, the same whirlwind of emotions swirling beneath the surface, barely held in check. It was in his voice, trembling with vulnerability, and in the slight furrow of his brow as he tried to hold himself together. They were both teetering on the edge, and Alex could feel it as if it were his own emotions crashing into him.

`

Swallowing thickly, Alex nodded in acknowledgment of Skylar's reassurance, though is mind was anything but at ease. He squeezed Skylar's hand gently, a small gesture of solidarity in the face of whatever storm was brewing between them. He didn't say anything, sensing that Skylar needed the space to find his words. Alex waited, the silence between them stretching as Skylar seemed to gather his thoughts, weighing each one carefully before speaking. Alex's heart hammered in his chest, anxious for what was to come, but he remained patient, listening.

`

When Skylar finally began to speak, Alex's eyes drifted downward, focusing on the hand that still held his. But as Skylar squeezed his hand in return, Alex glanced back up, catching the look in Skylar's eyes - something distant, almost as if he was bracing for the worst. The words that followed hit Alex like a punch to the gut. The overdose wasn't an accident. The confession landed with a crushing weight, and Alex felt his chest tighten so painfully that it nearly stole his breath away. His heart stuttered, and for a moment, he was sure the world had stopped spinning. There was a stunned silence in the room, thick with the gravity of what had just been said. He didn't even need to see his own reflection to know that his face had twisted into a mixture of shock, horror, and disbelief. He stared at Skylar, the words echoing in his head over and over again. Not an accident.

`

How could this be real? How could Skylar - someone so important, someone who meant so much - utter something so devastating, so shattering?

`

Alex's throat felt tight, his mouth dry, as he struggled to form any coherent thought, let alone words. It was like being plunged into ice-cold water, his body in his shock, his mind frantically trying to catch up with what was happening. His grip on Skylar's hand loosened slightly, but he didn't pull away. He couldn't He didn't know what to do with this information, didn't know how to process it. And then Skylar's next words came, softer, almost resigned, but no less heart-wrenching. As if Alex hadn't already been on the edge of breaking, hearing Skylar pull away both physically and emotionally - feeling him withdraw his hand - was nearly enough to destroy him. The warmth of Skylar's hand, once a tether, was gone, leaving Alex feeling untethered as if he were floating in some terrible empty space where everything felt wrong.

`

"What...?" Alex stammered, his voice cracking. He shook his head slightly, trying to make sense of what Skylar was saying, his mind scrambling for an explanation that could fit, that wouldn't leave him in the dark. "What are you saying?" The tremble in his voice was impossible to hide now, and he didn't even try. How could Skylar say something like this? How could he even think it? "I don't deserve what?" Alex asked, his voice rising with a mixture of panic and confusion. His blue eyes searched Skylar's face, desperate to understand, to find some hidden meaning behind the words that didn't hurt so much. But all he found was the same pain reflected back at him, a mirror of the turmoil raging inside.

`

It was like the world had flipped upside down, and Alex couldn't get his bearings. He didn't deserve what? His mind was still reeling from Skylar's confession, struggling to grasp the enormity of what had been revealed. He had been prepared for anger, for blame, for Skylar to push him away because of the ambulance, or even because of the overdose itself. But this? This admission that the overdose hadn't been a mistake, that Skylar had chosen it - that was something Alex hadn't been ready for. His heart ached at the thought, at the realization of how deeply Skylar must have been suffering to feel like that was his only option. And now, as he stood there, hearing Skylar tell him that he didn't deserve something - what was it? His friendship? His care? His affection? - it felt like a knife twisting in his chest.

`

"Sky, I don't understand," Alex whispered his voice barely more than a breath. His hand, now empty and cold without Skylar's, hovered for a moment as if unsure what to do before he let it fall to his side. The helplessness he felt was overwhelming, and for a brief moment, he didn't know if he could handle it. The thought of losing Skylar, truly losing him, was too much to bear. But even as he stood there, Alex knew that he couldn't just let Skylar go, not like this.

`

Alex couldn't let Skylar believe, even for a second, that he would simply walk away because he'd been told to or because things had gotten hard. Skylar had asked him to stay, had wanted him to try - for the sake of whatever was between them. And yet, now Skylar was the one trying to push him away. The contradiction wasn't lost on Alex, and the hurt it stirred in him cut deep. But walking away wasn't an option. Not now. Not ever. Taking a shaky breath, Alex moved closer to the bed, refusing to break eye contact. His heart pounded in his chest, but his resolve held firm, even as the tears burned at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. "I don't deserve what?" His voice, though thick with emotion, grew steadier, more determined. There was no room for doubt in his tone now. He wasn't going to let Skylar retreat into this spiral of self-doubt and pain without a fight. He repeated the question, more forcefully this time, demanding an answer - not just for his sake, but for Skylar's too.

Alex's demand almost took Skylar back, but with the repeated question there was no hesitation in Sky's response. "You don't deserve me and I don't deserve you! You deserve better, and I deserve nothing!" Sky said with a raised tone, but there wasn't much anger in his voice rather pain and hurt. Only after he had said that he broke eye contact, he couldn't bare to look at Alex. Tears threatened to form again, but Sky squeezed his eyes shut, forcing any forming tears away.

'

Why was Alex even still here? Why did he care so much for a drug addict? Why did he care so much for me? All these questions in Skylar's head were left unanswered. He shook his head, opening his eyes again. "Why are you even still here?" Sky said, his voice breaking, tears beginning to form again. He clenched his jaw, not wanting to seem weak but it was inevitable.

'

Meanwhile, just outside the door Polly and Danielle stood. They talked about how Sky's doing and how his recovery will be. Rehab was also in the conversation, it was most likely what the next step was. There was no avoiding rehab, which sucked.

'

(ah so sorry its so short agh)

Alex felt the air leave his lungs when Skylar's words hit him. The sting was sharp, like a knife cutting deeper into the already raw wound in his heart. He had been bracing for something, but not this - not the crushing weight of Skylar's self-doubt, the cold finality of those words. It felt as if Skylar had struck directly at the most fragile part of him, and Alex was left grasping for breath, struggling to keep the emotions from overwhelming him. "Don't say that." His voice trembled, laden with emotion, as he shook his head in disbelief. "Please, don't say that." The words cracked in his throat but ALexp dressed on, refusing to let Skylar's despair pull him under. He wasn't going to lose him to this darkness, not when they were both standing on the edge of something so much bigger than the hurt that threatened to tear them apart.

`

"You think you don't deserve someone who cares about you?" Alex's voice rose, not in anger, but in anguish. "Someone who wants you to be okay? Someone who -" His words choked off, his throat tightening painfully as the weight of everything they had been through pressed down on him. "You deserve to be here. You deserve to be alive. You deserve..." He faltered, his mind searching desperately for the right words, for something that would reach Skylar through the wall he was trying to build between them. "You deserve everything, Skylar."

`

He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes, but he held them back, knowing that he couldn't let them fall now. The frustration was there too - anger, not at Skylar, but at the pain he was so willing to surrender to, at the way he was pushing away the people who cared about him. Alex clenched his fists, trying to keep himself calm, trying to find the balance between the emotions warring inside him. "I'm still here because I care about you, Skylar." His voice was firmer now, but still soft, still filled with the tenderness he couldn't suppress. "I'm here because I promised you earlier today that I'd try. That I wouldn't run away from this - from us - because things were hard." He swallowed hard, his gaze never wavering from Skylar's, willing him to understand, to see what he was trying so hard to convey.

`

"You think pushing me away will make this easier? You think I'll just give up because you tell me you're not worth it?" He shook his head, stepping even closer until there was barely any space between himself and the edge of the hospital bed. "I'm not running away from you, Skylar. Not now, not ever."

Alex's resolve was solid, unwavering in the face of Skylar's attempt to push him away. He couldn't bear the thought of abandoning him, of leaving when things were tough - especially when Skylar seemed to want that. The idea of walking away left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that would haunt him for the rest of his life. No, he couldn't do it. He wouldn't be the coward who left because it was easier. He bit down on his lip, his gaze never straying from Skylar's, even as his mind spun with what to say and what words could possibly make him understand. His lips parted, ready to tell Skylar that it didn't matter if they dragged each other down, that maybe falling together would mean neither of them had to go through this alone. At least then, they would have someone to lean on, someone to hold onto, even in the darkest moments. But before he could say anything, Skylar was out of the hospital bed, his movements abrupt and full of energy that started Alex. Then Skylar was shoving him, and Alex staggered, barely managing to catch his balance before he could fall backward.

`

The shock was clear in his expression, his mouth open slightly, breath coming in shallow pants as he stared at Skylar. He hadn't expected this. Not the aggression, not the desperation in Skylar's eyes. When Skylar spoke, his words sharp and painful, Alex felt the sting in his chest as if each syllable was a blade carving into him. He nearly flinched at the harshness of it, at the tone of Skylar's voice that cut deep, though he shook his head in defiance, refusing to let the words sink into him. Before he could respond, he was shoved again, this time with enough force to pin Alex against the door. His body tensed, his heart hammering in his chest as he looked up at Skylar, eyes wide. The closeness of their bodies, and the way Skylar's hand landed on his waist, sent a ripple of confusion and emotion coursing through him. But more than that, it was the expression on Skylar's face that tore at him, the way he spoke as if convinced he was nothing but a burden, a weight dragging Alex down.

`

"You aren't a loser," Alex said, his voice trembling with emotion, but there was strength behind his words, a conviction he couldn't suppress. "You're not. You're so much more than you realize." He shook his head, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he stared at the boy in front of him, the boy he couldn't - wouldn't - give up on. He didn't know how to explain it, didn't know if there were even words for it, but Alex knew, deep down, that Skylar was worth fighting for. That no matter how broken or damaged Skylar felt, Alex wouldn't stop caring. He couldn't. With Skylar's hand still on his waist, Alex did his best to ignore the physical closeness, to push aside the way his pulse quickened in response. This wasn't about the touch; it was about the words between them, the pain that Skylar was trying to hide beneath anger and self-loathing.

`

When Skylar again insisted that Alex deserved better, that he didn't belong with someone like him, Alex shook his head, his voice breaking as he finally spoke. "If you felt that way - if you really thought we shouldn't be together- then why did you make me promise to try? Why did you ask me to stay, to for this, when I wanted to run?" His voice trembled, his words unsteady, filled with the weight of everything they had been through, everything they had shared. "Why, Skylar?" He searched Skylar's eyes, desperate for an answer, for some understanding of what had changed between them, of why Skylar was so willing to throw it all away now.