Amel ‘Mel’ Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All(Ind).

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

--

“Thank you.”

--

Illon looked at Ambrose, slowing ever so slightly to stare after him. They quickly regained their pace though, following Ambrose inside with a nod. They decided to go ahead and sit down closer to the flap. They weren’t too sure if Ambrose would mind if they ate in front of him. Or if they did he would want them to turn away so that they didn’t ruin his mood or something like that.

--

“You should eat, Illon, I don't mind.” The music and smile was enough to take their mind off of that though, and they nodded at his words, placing the bowl down so they could push down the mask.

--

It was a painfully slow process, due to the fact that it could end up reopening some of the worse ones should they not be careful enough. Either way though, it came down eventually and Illon picked back up the stew to eat. They paused as they saw their reflection though, and then looked away from the stew and towards the ground instead, their grip tense.

--

They didn’t care what people said in pity, the scars were atrocious to look at. One from the left corner of their mouth to the bottom of their chin, one starting right at the middle spot right between their nose and then splitting into two to get the left side of their mouth. One that went from the left corner of their nose all the way to their neck. One that went from the left corner of their mouth to their cheek. One following their jawline. And that was only half of it all.

--

And then they remembered they were in front of someone, so he brought up the bowl again and began to eat. Painfully slow. Like everything they did nowadays. They hoped that Ambrose really didn’t mind, but they doubted it. Everyone thought that they wouldn’t mind at first, and then as soon as the mask came off- Okay, so maybe that was only with Eni and Salen so far, but still. If Salen of all people lost her appetite due to their appearance? That spoke volumes.

*~*~*~*

“Uh, oops?”

--

“Yeah, 'cause that was a total accident.”

--

“Hey! I didn't expect it to eat me!”

--

“It's fire, idiot, that's what it does!”

--

“Uh, anyway. Heyyyy, Eni. That didn't happen, it was definitely an illusion.”

--

And despite everything, Eni chuckled with a roll of their eyes, “Better not die of a third degree burn, Agni. I still have to sign that paperwork.” By now, it was a running joke(Was it though?) that they were going to actually adopt Agnar.

--

“Don't think so. As far as I'm aware, Salen does not use her power to make it look like you did something stupid. Frankly, she doesn't have to, you do it too much anyway.”

--

Salen ended up softly laughing a bit at that, though she tried to hide it as she ate. Eni chuckled and nodded in slight agreement, glad that the tension seemed to have finally left the group.

--

“Hey! I’m not that bad! You guys are mean!”

--

“You brought this upon yourself.”

--

Amel watched the scene play out with mild disinterest. How was it that these were the people that had chosen to follow him into victory against Vipers? He would never understand how they managed to win while they acted so… Childish. Well, then again, they had him, so of course they’d win.

--

“I can take care of dishes when everyone is finished.”

--

“Thanks, Esta.”

--

Salen nodded, “Thank you for the meal, Star.”

--

Eni stood, handing Esta their bowl as they did. “Indeed, it was delicious. Well, I’m going to go ahead and retire to my tent for the night, have fun everyone.” And with that, Eni walked back to their tent and stepped inside it.

--

Amel finished up soon after and then looked at all of them. “Illon can have guard duty tonight so make sure someone tells them, we’re going to get an early start at dawn. Isabella, make sure everyone actually gets up tomorrow, I don’t want a repeat of a few days ago.” With that, Amel wordlessly handed Esta his empty bowl and went back to his tent to continue any planning that he’d left unfinished.

--

Salen sighed when Amel was gone and back in his tent. “So… This would be the third day in a row that Amel has Illon do it. All in favor of allowing them to sleep tonight?” Ah, democracy and majority votes, the true best way to decide things.

Ambrose watched Illon slowly pull down their mask and start to eat. They grimaced at their own reflection, but Ambrose remained steady. His fingers continued plucking the strings and he didn't flinch or look away. His eyes held no pity, or even worry, only warmth.

"I don't think the mask is necessary." He said after a moment, his voice calm and truthful. Ambrose wasn't the type of person to lie. "If it makes you feel safer or better, then I'm sure it's fine, but I don't think your scars make you look ugly at all. They may not be the most beautiful thing to someone who's seeing you for the first time, but to me, scars tell stories. The same as music. I think yours show your strength and your bravery. I'm not sure about everything you've been through, Illon, but I don't think I would have lived if it had been me." He smiled slightly. "Pretty isn't described as perfect, but as something, or someone, that is somehow beautiful but does not necessarily fall into the typical 'socially beautiful' as some may call it. I like you for who you are, scars and all, and I frankly don't care if you believe me or not, Illon, because your opinion on yourself will not change mine. I hope you know you can always come to me if you need to talk, or if you just need somewhere quiet. I can act a little... shy, sometimes, but I truly do enjoy company."

---

“Indeed, it was delicious. Well, I’m going to go ahead and retire to my tent for the night, have fun everyone.”

Agnar waved and Isabella nodded, while Esta took their bowl with a smile.

“Illon can have guard duty tonight so make sure someone tells them, we’re going to get an early start at dawn. Isabella, make sure everyone actually gets up tomorrow, I don’t want a repeat of a few days ago.”

Isabella rolled her eyes as soon as Amel turned his back. Go figure.

“So… This would be the third day in a row that Amel has Illon do it. All in favor of allowing them to sleep tonight?”

"Of course I am," Isabella replied. "Amel's being a bitch."

"Yes," Esta agreed. "Illon's still not fully recovered. They need rest."

Agnar, who had just finished off the rest of his stew, stood up and grinned. "I'll take guard duty, I don't mind. Besides, I can get back to camp fastest if need be."

Isabella nodded. "Hopefully you won't need to, but it's logical, I suppose."

Esta accepted Agnar's bowl. "Sounds good to me." She stated. "Agnar, could you hand me Ambrose's bowl, I don't think he was planning on finishing."

"Sure!"

Agnar handed Ambrose's bowl over as well and watched as Isabella stood, stretched, and waved good night. "See you guys in the morning, I suppose. Oh, and I recommend getting up the first time I tell you, I will collapse your tent on you." She warned, winking before walking off.

"Oh, that'll be fun," Agnar said, grinning widely before waving at those remaining around the fire. "See you tomorrow, and good luck!"

Then, he headed to his tent, grabbed his bow and arrows, and disappeared into the woods without giving the others a chance to protest.

Esta shook her head and smiled. "Alright then, I guess that's that."

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“I don't think the mask is necessary.” Illon tensed and glanced up at Ambrose as he spoke, stopping their eating to listen better. “If it makes you feel safer or better, then I'm sure it's fine, but I don't think your scars make you look ugly at all. They may not be the most beautiful thing to someone who's seeing you for the first time, but to me, scars tell stories. The same as music. I think yours shows your strength and your bravery. I'm not sure about everything you've been through, Illon, but I don't think I would have lived if it had been me.”

--

If Illon had known how much it’d hurt, they wouldn’t have scoffed at that. Instead, they would’ve just looked back down at their bowl. But they did scoff, wincing as they did so feeling one of the scars threaten to reopen, and they scoffed because they doubted that it was true. Maybe Ambrose wouldn’t live because of strength or bravery(Illon doubted that that was why the lived too), he’d live because he would never be in the situation in the first place. It was only Illon that could mess up enough to be in that situation apparently, though they certainly preferred it over someone else having to be in it. They’d rather it be them than anyone else. Their absence probably hadn’t changed much, except to help shorten lines to see Esta. Them not being there was probably more of an advantage than anything…

--

And yet they had still been rescued. The group had chosen to get back the liability despite everything… Illon still couldn’t figure out how to thank the group enough. They weren’t even sure if they should’ve been rescued… Illon decided not to think about that too much, and looked back to Ambrose.

--

“Pretty isn't described as perfect, but as something, or someone, that is somehow beautiful but does not necessarily fall into the typical 'socially beautiful' as some may call it. I like you for who you are, scars and all, and I frankly don't care if you believe me or not, Illon, because your opinion on yourself will not change mine. I hope you know you can always come to me if you need to talk, or if you just need somewhere quiet. I can act a little... shy, sometimes, but I truly do enjoy company.”

--

Illon took a deep breath and then spoke, the bubble seeming lighter like it was whenever they spoke to Esta, “Thanks, Ambrose. Not just for the pep talk. For the rescue too. But I’m fine… Just adjusting. I’m sure that I’ll be back to myself in no time though.” They tried smiling, this time pushing through the pain to do so. Just to show Ambrose that maybe, just maybe, they weren’t lying. “I’ve never been one to be held down for long. Ask Esta, she knows, I’ve tried to climb out of her med tent days before I was supposed to before. She was so mad when I did that, you should’ve seen her! Funniest thing, I’ll say. Didn’t even say anything when she saw me, just stared and blinked before dragging me back in. And there was also that time where I’m pretty sure I was blown up, happened back before all of this Vipers stuff, I got myself discharged before the doctors could even know what all was going on with me. Oh! And that one time I accidentally set myself on fire, I actually still have a scar from that one too, that day was wild! Let me tell you. if I’m being honest, I’m surprised that the smoke didn’t suff-”

--

And then they realized that they were rambling and stopped, the bubble tightening around them until they weren’t sure they could really breathe. They forced themselves to at least mumble an apology though, “Sorry… For uh, rambling…”

--

Illon went back to eating after that, although they didn’t have too much of an appetite anymore. But who knew the next time they’d be able to eat, given that today hadn’t even been the worse their pain had been before. Or the best, but who cares about that? Going back a step or two(or five) wasn’t what people would want to hear about, and they were determined not to let anyone know either. Not Esta, and certainly not anyone else.

*~*~*~*

“Of course I am, Amel's being a bitch.”

--

“Yes, Illon's still not fully recovered. They need rest.”

--

“I'll take guard duty, I don't mind. Besides, I can get back to camp fastest if need be.”

--

“Hopefully you won't need to, but it's logical, I suppose.”

--

Salen nodded, “That sounds good. It’s honestly been a bit worrying, given that Illon isn’t even arguing about it. It really isn’t fair of Amel to do that to them after what’s happened and all.”

--

“Sounds good to me. Agnar, could you hand me Ambrose's bowl, I don't think he was planning on finishing.”

--

“Sure!”

--

“See you guys in the morning, I suppose. Oh, and I recommend getting up the first time I tell you, I will collapse your tent on you.”

--

“Have a good night’s rest, Bell!” Salen said, waving goodnight to her.

--

“Oh, that'll be fun. See you tomorrow, and good luck!”

--

Salen nodded goodbye to Agnar, leaving just Esta and her. “Alright then, I guess that's that.”

--

Salen sat there for a second in silence, and then looked over at Esta pulling her legs up to her chest. “Star… I was wondering, I know that patient confidentiality is a thing and all but… How extensive were their injuries?” Salen needed to know, wanted to know if had they all said something sooner- If she had picked a side- Would it have made a difference in how hurt they were?

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“No need to apologize. I like listening. And for the record, I don't doubt you in the least.”

--

Illon glanced back up towards Ambrose, deciding against smiling for the moment but hoping their eyes showed how grateful they were of that.

--

“You know what's odd? And, forgive me if this is boring, I don't often tell things like this unless it's in song. Well, I travel a lot, you know, and I've seen many places, met many people, but, though I enjoy traveling a lot, I really do, I think about it and realize I don't really have a home. It didn't ever bother me so much before I don't think, but now I've been with this group for a while, and, though we do have our problems admittedly, and we're nothing at all alike, I think this is the closest thing I've ever had to a family. I used to think it was nice to just be alone, to travel the world entertaining those who are willing to listen, and then moving on, but, in all honesty? I'm going to miss you all. I guess I'll start a new journey when we part, but I'll never forget this. Being a part of something like this, even as broken as it may be, it's nice. Sorry, I'm not usually this talkative.”

--

Illon took a few seconds to allow the bubble time to back down, to eat a bit more, before they started talking again. “If you tell me not to apologize, you don’t get to apologize either. Duh, that’s just common sense, Ambrose. I don’t mind hearing people talk at all.” Their brows furrowed a bit as they continued, looking down at their bowl. “Honestly? Kind of nice, just being able to chat with someone for once.”

--

They quickly recovered from the mood dip though, plastering on a painful smile ignoring the pain. They made finger guns at Ambrose as they started speaking again, “But hey, it’s nothing too new. I’ve gone years without talking to people before, so going a week or two without it? Easiest thing ever, I’m sure.”

--

Illon held the finger guns and smiled for a few more seconds before letting it drop awkwardly. They grabbed their bowl again and after taking a few more bites, they started up again. “And uh, about that family and missing us thing… I may not completely understand how it is for you, but I know how it is for me. And for me? I’m going to miss all of you too. Esta, Agnar, you, Amel, Eni, Isabella, Karma… All of you. I never quite traveled like you, I never really traveled at all to be honest. It was just me and my inventing partner for a while until… Well, they… Left. And then it was only me until I met the group. Didn’t really talk to anyone before, didn’t have a reason to. Plus, I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was crazy. Which is… Understandable, honestly.”

--

They gave a slight laugh, shrugging. Their stew was practically gone at this point. “Anyways! What I’m trying to say is that once we get back to the city, I hope you find something you enjoy doing. That everyone does. I’ll probably end up back at my old place, the one I used to share with my colleague. You know though, you’re always free to come over between your trips, if you end up doing those again. I wouldn’t mind hosting. Warning though, my place is basically always mes-” The sound of liquid dropping into another, and the feeling of one running down their chin. They quietly continued their statement, eyes going to their bowl. “Sy…”

--

A darker red was swirling around in what was left. They brought up a hand and wiped their chin, feeling the wetness of what they could tell was blood. And as they pulled their hand back to look at it, they found they had been right. One of their wounds had probably reopened… They hoped Ambrose hadn’t noticed though, and quickly pulled their mask back up, wincing as they felt another tear back open. They’d be fine, they didn’t need to go to Esta just because of slight pain.

*~*~*~*

“They... They were bad. They are bad.”

--

Salen watched as Esta’s face darkened, but eyes still wanting to know more. “I can't go into depth, but… They probably won't ever fully recover. They're permanently deaf in one ear and I'm not sure all of the muscles in their jaw will ever heal properly either. There's a lot that I can't talk about, but, I can really only hope they heal enough so that they aren't constantly in pain. And then there's mental trauma. I did everything I could, Salen, but it wasn't enough. It will never be enough. My only job is to heal people, to keep you guys from feeling pain, and I'm failing. I don't know what to do anymore, honestly. Illon says they're fine, and they're strong, I know they are, but I can see they're in pain. They don't have to say so for me to see it. And I can't do anything to help. I just... I feel so useless, and I hate it. I hate it, because you guys put your lives on the line all the time, Illon more than anyone, running into danger like that, and Isabella and Amel are fearless. Agnar, Agnar's great, he's younger than all of up, but he keeps up and works hard. You're amazing with your voice and keeping everything together, Eni's practically everyone's teacher, everyone loves Ambrose and he's gotten everyone out of danger multiple times, even Karma, as controversial and angry as they are, helps out on the field. I just sit and fail at healing everyone up properly. What good is that?!”

--

And Salen stared at her for a moment, before putting her arms around Esta. “You aren’t failing. You saved my life too, remember? I really thought that the axe would kill me, but it didn’t. Because you healed me. It’s just that some injuries are going to be harder to heal than others. If you were able to heal every single wound anyone ever has then there would be no real threat, now would there? And I know that that sounds great, but it isn’t. Things like threats have to exist, and if death wasn’t a threat for us because you could just always heal us? You’d have more than just Illon running into danger as if nothing bad could ever happen. Which, by the way, is false anyways because something bad did happen to them. Obviously.”

--

Salen took in a breath and looked at Esta. “You can’t blame yourself for Illon. There’s only three that we can really blame for that. Vipers, Amel, and… Well. I know you don’t want to hear this, but… Illon. They aren’t the cause for all of what happened but they did get captured for their own doing. I hate to think of what could’ve happened had we not gone after them when we did. You said it yourself, their wounds are bad. And if we had waited another week before going after them? I’m sure they’d be even worse off than they are now. You did everything you could, and I know that I couldn’t have done what you did. Without you, saving them wouldn’t have mattered at all. They’d be dead either way without you.”

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; Esta, others(ind).

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; Ambrose, others(ind)

Eni Vision | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; Agnar(ind), Illon(ind).

--

“I'll definitely come and visit then, I don't mind a bit of mess.”

--

At that Illon was pretty sure that they’d gotten scott free with the reopened wounds not being noticed, which was good. They were a bit tired of people smothering them about it all. They’d dealt with worse… Right? Yeah. They had.. Definitely.

--

“Are you okay? You could go see Esta, she wouldn't mind. Or I have…” Illon forced themself not to frown as they realized that no, they hadn’t gotten away with it. “These, it's pain medicine. It won't do much for actual healing, but it should numb the pain a little. I carry them just in case.”

--

Illon took a moment to look like they were considering it before waving Ambrose’s concerns off, speaking through the pain. “I’m good, Ambrose. It’s not that bad.”

--

They didn’t need Esta worried about them, or anyone else to be either. They’d dealt with their fire wounds on their own before, a few stubborn wounds couldn’t hold them back that much. They were fine. They set their bowl on the ground and looked at Ambrose, “As I was saying though. The place is messy like a hoarder lives there. Only difference is that the floor instead of covered with harmless junk is covered with electronics and gimmicks and wires and half made bombs that have the ever so slight chance of exploding at any time. So it’s arguably worse. The day we left I had a few different projects strewn about the entire place and the blueprints lost somewhere the week before. Not even to mention the mess that isn’t that stuff. That other stuff is mostly because I never really expected to have guests over or anything…” They thought for a moment, before groaning lightly. “I’m going to have to restock the fridge and pantry when I get back so I actually have stuff whenever you come over… Any preferences I should know about?”

--

Illon looked at Ambrose and waited for an answer, not wanting to talk too much since another one had reopened since they’d begun speaking. They just hoped that their mahogany mask would already be the right color so it didn’t show too much blood should it leak through. After all, they didn’t want to have to take it off to wash it later and they didn’t have any spares to wear while they did that.

*~*~*~*

“I-I know, it's just hard. I hate seeing people in pain, I always feel like maybe, if I'd got there quicker, or done a little more, I could have healed them completely. It's okay though, I know I'm being selfish, I shouldn't make this about me. Thank you, Salen. You're a good friend.”

--

Salen blushed slightly but stoned her face and nodded, “Of course, Star. And you aren’t being selfish, you’re reacting how anyone would in your position.”

*~*~*~*

When Agnar didn’t come to their tent, Eni assumed that that meant he had gotten guard duty. Which meant Eni still couldn’t apologize yet. So they sighed and sat down, allowing themselves to think.

--

They would be the first to admit they had been wrong. But they had only said what they thought to be true, what their experience told them was most likely true. And they had still been wrong. Eni would be lying if they said that they weren’t wondering how Illon had survived, but they weren’t about to simply ask them. Eni also would be lying if they said that they understood why Illon wore the mask, they didn’t see any reason that Illon would ever need to wear it. It wasn’t as if their entire lower face was missing, after all.

“I’m good, Ambrose. It’s not that bad.”

"Okay," Ambrose said, rolling the bottle over to Illon anyway. "You can take that anyway, I can always get more, plus I've got a first aid kit that should provide more than enough for me." He smiled again.

“As I was saying though. The place is messy like a hoarder lives there. Only difference is that the floor instead of covered with harmless junk is covered with electronics and gimmicks and wires and half-made bombs that have the ever so slight chance of exploding at any time. So it’s arguably worse. The day we left I had a few different projects strewn about the entire place and the blueprints lost somewhere the week before. Not even to mention the mess that isn’t that stuff. That other stuff is mostly because I never really expected to have guests over or anything… I’m going to have to restock the fridge and pantry when I get back so I actually have stuff whenever you come over… Any preferences I should know about?”

Ambrose smirked slightly at Illon's description of their living space. It sounded accurate as far as he could tell. "Nope, I'm not really picky, I'll eat most things that are edible." He stated. "Except crayons, I learned those don't taste too good when I was little, even though they are non-toxic." He said this in such a matter-of-fact tone that it almost seemed serious, which, in a way, it kind was... After a moment, however, Ambrose smiled again, as he usually did, and picked up his guitar again and started strumming a tune that sounded suspiciously like 'Almost There' from Disney's 'Princess and the Frog,' one of Ambrose's favorite Dinsey songs of all time. It was uplifting, hopeful, and confident. Everything Ambrose wanted to be!

"Hey, Illon, do you like Disney? I don't watch much TV, traveling around so much, but Disney has always been a favorite of mine."

---

“Of course, Star. And you aren’t being selfish, you’re reacting how anyone would in your position.”

Esta sniffled and looked up at Salen with a slight smile. "Thank you." She repeated. "Oh! I should probably finish the dishes before I completely forget." She did feel a little better now, though still guilty. She didn't think she'd ever not feel guilty about Illon, but, at least for the moment, she was happier.

---

Sighing, Agnar shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He needed to concentrate on keeping watch, not the fight. Still, no matter how hard he tried, the young ranger could not get Eni's words out of his head.

"God." He breathed to himself, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again and glaring at the sky. He wanted to run or train, do something to get this off his mind. Instead, he looked up to the stars for a long moment and dropped his gaze to the ground again. "This is stupid." He mumbled to himself. "I should just talk to Eni, figure things out. Then maybe I could finally focus again." And sleep. He didn't say that part out loud, but it was true. Illon had been keeping watch, but Agnar hadn't been getting that much sleep either, his mind constantly turning over past events and trying to make sense of them, then trying to forget them, and, ultimately, just playing them on loop.

---

Karma lay awake, staring at the top of their tent and listening silently to the conversation going on outside. Esta and Salen weren't speaking loud enough for them to make out everything, but they got the gist of it. Esta was upset because she couldn't fully heal Illon, Illon was badly injured, and Salen was comforting Esta.

Karma rolled onto their side, annoyed. Not at the girls, or at anyone really, just at everything. And really the annoyance was to cover up frustration and pain. They didn't like Illon really, but they didn't really like anyone. How could they when they didn't even like theirself?

It wasn't fair to Illon or the others for Karma to be like this, they knew that and they regretted it. They regretted coming, because if they hadn't come then they wouldn't have to deal with being hated and pretending to hate, they wouldn't have to argue all the time, they wouldn't have to try. If they hadn't come, if Ambrose hadn't found and recruited them, then... Then they'd be... Dead.

Right, okay, so they had their reasoning for being here, just like everyone else, but they somehow doubted that anyone else regretted coming because they would be dead if they didn't. Of course, that was just another reason for Karma to be distant and to pretend not to care about anything. They were already a burden, why make it worse?

They didn't need pity.

Sighing, Karma started to fidget with the zipper on their sleeping bag as they often did. It helped calm their nerves.

A little.

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; Esta, others(ind).

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; Ambrose, others(ind)

--

“Nope, I'm not really picky, I'll eat most things that are edible. Except for crayons, I learned that those don't taste too good when I was little, even though they are non-toxic.”

--

Illon almost laughed at that, but Ambrose’s face was too serious even for them. And then the song changed. Illon wasn’t sure what it was or if it was original, but it definitely was a nice change from all the tension that had been in the air recently.

--

“Hey, Illon, do you like Disney? I don't watch much TV, traveling around so much, but Disney has always been a favorite of mine.”

--

Illon thought for a moment before shrugging. “I didn’t watch much growing up, and after going out on my own I was basically always working. If I saw any then I don’t remember. I did watch a pretty funny musical once though, I don’t remember the name of it anymore. It's been way too long. But I do remember what it was about. It was about some religious people, well- Mostly two religious kids, they had to go and convert some people to their religion or something and it just spun really out of hand. It was hilarious. I went and saw it with my old colleague a few years ago, I think? It was a few months before they left, I remember that much.”

--

Illon thought for a moment, listening to the music before their eyebrows furrowed and they spoke again. “Hey I uh, I know you may not be able to tell me and all but… Why has everyone been so tense around here since I got back?” Illon stared at the ground, quickly continuing, “I know that everyone’s saying it’s because they were just worried about me but I don’t… That can’t be why, right? But if it’s not that then… What is it? It’s not… It’s not, uh, it’s not because of me… Right..? Because- Why wouldn’t you all tell me if it is? That wouldn’t make sense, you know? I, I’d rather know. If it was because of me. So that I could- So I could apologize. Get rid of the tension. I-I know I didn’t do much before and all but…”

--

They breathed quick and shallow, tears forming in the corners of their eyes, usually only Esta was around when they started hyperventilating. They kept staring at the ground, not wanting to look at Ambrose. And they thought, trying to figure out how to continue. “B-But…” But they couldn’t. There wasn’t any way to continue. That hadn’t done anything for the group but waste time and now it was too late to do anything else- To show the group that they’d made the right choice in getting them out of there.

--

Illon breathing continued to quicken and they refused to look up at Ambrose, sure that the tears were beginning to fall now. They hadn’t done anything. The entire time. The only thing they’d done is create a longer wait time for Esta and that was all they had been doing since they got back too. They shouldn’t have been rescued. They wasted the group’s time. “I-I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I- I should- I shouldn’t have come- I shouldn’t have- Y-You all sh-shouldn’t have- I- You shouldn’t’ve re-rescued me- I’m n-not- I-I’m sorry-”

*~*~*~*

“Thank you. Oh! I should probably finish the dishes before I completely forget.”

--

Salen laughed and nodded, speaking with a rather amused tone, “Right, do you want any help with that? I wouldn’t mind helping. I used to help at food centers actually, I haven’t been to one in a few years now but I washed enough dishes there to know how to do it.”