i was diagnosed with a tic disorder/tourettes today, and i’m just feeling really frustrated about it. it’s been a long time coming, i never really wanted to get what i was dealing with diagnosed. i thought it would go away. but lately it’s been getting progressively more frequent, to where my friends and family have told me i should get it looked into
the only reason i really decided to go in was in hopes that there would be some sort of treatment. but my doctor told me i should just wait to see if i outgrow it, since tics wax and wane in severity it’ll be hard to tell if medication is even working. not to mention side effects.
i really don’t want this to affect my school or my future career in the health field, or for people to look at me differently. having tics is so embarrassing to me, i can suppress them to an extent, and i try really hard to only let them out when no one is looking or im alone. i can’t really control when they do come out, but i can hold them back for the most part. until i forget i’m trying to hold them back and they come out.
i don't want to tell people i have this, because i feel like they'll think of the people on social media with extreme or fake versions of tourettes. i don't want people to just assume things based on those images of people constantly having tics, because that isn't me.
i just wish i could tell myself to stop and never deal with it again.