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 Existence
07:53:53 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
Thank you Deity it should not have taken me 36 pups but here we are x.x
 Anakin
07:53:25 Sith Happens
I just got this amazing 53 r ac, he's so nice I'm actually going to keep him! Got to keep my lines alive
 Existence
07:52:46 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
Mm and the collection grows I see
 Caeruleum
07:52:20 Cae, Blue
its so pretty too! congrats! :D
 Smilecat
07:52:15 Sleep deprived
Anakin
Luckyyy
More chims would be great
 Anakin
07:46:37 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

I've gotten so many chims lately
 Kháos
07:45:59 
With that, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight chat.
 kycantina
07:45:39 ky, mourning kelsier
I'm so tempted to make a super wolf line combining all my customs
 Kháos
07:45:34 
Their revenge for being sold for cheap.
 Caeruleum
07:44:18 Cae, Blue
REAL

they love giving nothing ;-;
 Smilecat
07:42:59 Sleep deprived
Cae
Why is it
That all cheap good wolves will always provide duds
 Caeruleum
07:42:04 Cae, Blue
heavens smiled upon me with him because all the pups will be duds, just wait and see LMAO
 Smilecat
07:42:00 Sleep deprived
-WP Click-
So very old
 Smilecat
07:41:11 Sleep deprived
Cae
That was a complete steal
 Reprobate
07:38:56 midlife crisis
150 mush WOWW
 Amygdala
07:38:31 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Wow congrats
 Caeruleum
07:35:17 Cae, Blue
-WP Click-
hello??? what a steal??
 Court of Souls
07:34:17 Infernal, Soul, Dee
Oh Okay ^_^
 Kháos
07:31:08 
Mobile view
 cavendish
07:31:01 caven
soul- she's had a warrior stone used on her

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Chatbox
 Existence
07:53:53 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
Thank you Deity it should not have taken me 36 pups but here we are x.x
 Anakin
07:53:25 Sith Happens
I just got this amazing 53 r ac, he's so nice I'm actually going to keep him! Got to keep my lines alive
 Existence
07:52:46 Exist / Kuskyn
-WP Click-
Mm and the collection grows I see
 Caeruleum
07:52:20 Cae, Blue
its so pretty too! congrats! :D
 Smilecat
07:52:15 Sleep deprived
Anakin
Luckyyy
More chims would be great
 Anakin
07:46:37 Sith Happens
-WP Click-

I've gotten so many chims lately
 Kháos
07:45:59 
With that, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight chat.
 kycantina
07:45:39 ky, mourning kelsier
I'm so tempted to make a super wolf line combining all my customs
 Kháos
07:45:34 
Their revenge for being sold for cheap.
 Caeruleum
07:44:18 Cae, Blue
REAL

they love giving nothing ;-;
 Smilecat
07:42:59 Sleep deprived
Cae
Why is it
That all cheap good wolves will always provide duds
 Caeruleum
07:42:04 Cae, Blue
heavens smiled upon me with him because all the pups will be duds, just wait and see LMAO
 Smilecat
07:42:00 Sleep deprived
-WP Click-
So very old
 Smilecat
07:41:11 Sleep deprived
Cae
That was a complete steal
 Reprobate
07:38:56 midlife crisis
150 mush WOWW
 Amygdala
07:38:31 Amy/Anpmygdala
Cae
Wow congrats
 Caeruleum
07:35:17 Cae, Blue
-WP Click-
hello??? what a steal??
 Court of Souls
07:34:17 Infernal, Soul, Dee
Oh Okay ^_^
 Kháos
07:31:08 
Mobile view
 cavendish
07:31:01 caven
soul- she's had a warrior stone used on her




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Forums > Socialize
   1 

I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1700
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

Forums > Socialize
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