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Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 08:05 PM


Lost Memories

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The poor orphan boy is being tortured so very much, I feel so bad :'(
But also, I'm very excited XD
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 08:05 PM


Lost Memories

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Song: Sailor Song by Gigi Perez

(With some adjustments to the lyrics to better fit characters and avoid as much repeating in some spots)

Characters: All of GRAIN :)

Context: Uhhhh, idk, just some mixture of fluff and angst for the early days of the polycule because yes. :D

It covers a lot of individual insecurities for everyone and how this relationship is very healing for a lot of them, even if there are rough patches.

It does jump around for a lot, but I'm gonna say the majority is in future AFCS when the polycule, except Revan and Akira, is all together already, but, like, very early on in their relationship.

This is so very messy, but enjoy!

TWs: Mentions of self-harm/suicidal thoughts, mentions of past toxic relationships and abuse, and general angst

---

*Starting with some of Akira and Garvin's relationship*

Akira, watching Garvin with love and affection, basically just claiming how beautiful he is and how much they love him, even when Garvin doesn't see it: "I saw him in the rightest way, looking like Anne Hathaway. Laughing while he hit his pen and coughed, and coughed..."

Akira, a little more sadly, mentioning how Garvin begged them while drunk, believing that to be love: "And then he came up to my knees, begging: "Baby, would you please do the things you said you'd do to me, to me?""

*Jumping to some of Revan and Garvin's relationship, admittedly more sexual and less romantic at the start, but slowly developing into something more genuine*

Garvin, grinning at Revan, drunk but still at least partially aware of everything happening: "Oh, won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor? And when you get a taste, can you tell me what's my flavor?"

Gravin, playing things up a bit to pull Revan in: "I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior!"

Revan, allowing everything to happen and shoving away the thoughts of what he 'should be doing' in favor of joining Garvin: "My mom says that she's worried, but I'm covered in this favor! And when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong..."

Garvin, smiling as Revan accepts, honestly just glad someone is agreeing to 'love' him, even if it's temporary: "I sleep so I can see you 'cause I hate to wait so long... I sleep so I can see you and I hate to wait so long..."

*And to some of Nico and Garvin's relationship*

Nico, laughing as Garvin playfully treats him like royalty, starting to relax a little into the relationship as they realize she's safe here: "He took my fingers to his mouth, the kind of thing that makes you proud that nothing else had ever worked out!"

Garvin, watching Nico laugh and light up, drawn to his seemingly genuine love and excitement even if it seems too good to be true, honestly wary of being hurt or deceived for that exact reason: "And lately I've tried other things, but nothing can capture the sting of the venom she's gonna spit out right now..."

*Slight change in how things are written here; this section is from Ingall's point of view, but it's very much just him watching how the others interact, as he will be for a while after joining the relationship, mostly just feeling bad he can't treat them how he thinks he should*

Garvin, throwing an arm around Akira playfully, smirking: "Won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?"

Akira, grinning back and accepting a kiss, gently nudging Garvin's side: "And when you get a taste, can you tell me what's my flavor?"

Nico, watching the two happily, leaning against the chair Revan's sitting in: "I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior."

Nico, adjusting his attention to Revan, who's working and pretending not to be listening, squeezing his shoulder lightly: "I know that you've been worried, but you're dripping in my favor!"

The four, just seeming content at the moment: "I sleep so I can see you 'cause I hate to wait so long."

Ingall, watching everything with a mixture of pain and regret, wishing he could show them how much he cares as well: "I sleep so I can see you and I hate to wait so long..."

*And back to Garvin and Akira a little later on because I don't think any other duos would really work with this, lmao*

Garvin, watching Akira talk during one of their late-night talks, feeling a little doubtful at the moment due to a bad day, trying to act as though everything's fine despite feeling guilty: "And we can run away to the walls inside your house, I can be the cat, baby, you can be the mouse..."

Akira, very much clocking Garvin's mood but pretending not to in hopes that Garvin will feel better without being pressured to talk about anything: "And we can laugh off things that we know nothing about, we can go forever until you wanna sit it out!"

Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 08:14 PM


Overthink101

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That was very adorable and sad, I loved the song lyric thing
I might do a song lyric thing too soon, uhm. Just because of how long the Ingall snippet (and every other snippet too at this point) is taking.
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 09:20 PM


Overthink101

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Alright, and here's the song lyric thing I decided to do in order to take a small break from the snippets. Enjoy the angst!
-

Song; Heroin by Badflower.

(With adjustments to the lyrics to avoid so much repeating and better fit the characters in some spots)

Characters; Garvin. Rest of GRAIN mentioned.

TWs; Mentions of drug use/addiction, mentions of self-harm/suicidal thoughts, mentions of past/present abuse, and general angst.

Context; Just a song thing to reflect on, uh, the mixing of addiction and trauma and how absolutely awful it can be. Anyways, would be relatively recently after the polycule has all at least moved in together.

*~*~*~*

*This honestly doesn’t skip around a lot, just a little half storyline. This bit is just some build up and background though, mostly about addiction and depression.*

Garvin, referring to both his suicidal thoughts and his drug use that’s admittedly mostly self medication; “It’s in my head again…”

Garvin, referring to the polycule and just how common it is with him, how much of a losing battle it always seems to be; “They know where I have been… I’m going down that road again…”

*Now to add in that trauma, haha. Because, of course, addictions lead to drinking more and drinking more means… Bar scenes where Akira unfortunately isn’t there.*

Garvin, halfway to dissociating, and nowhere near present enough to even know the general appearance of who he ended up with; “I’m in their bed again… They mark their fingerprints in my skin…”

Garvin, further into dissociation, and with it, the comfort and small high of being ‘loved’; “I breathe some perfume in and it burns like heroin… Now they’re in me—”

Garvin, fully dissociating, just a small reference in how much he depends on that ‘love’ to feel like he’s worth anything and is, you know, loved; “And I can’t let them go…”

Garvin, still fully dissociating, just a small reference to how far he’s willing to let things go, how much he’s willing to destroy himself and let himself be destroyed; “My bones are caving in...”

Garvin, after the whole ordeal, not fully understanding what exactly cheating is and assuming the worst, that being that he cheated on the polycule; “And they stole my faith again…”

Garvin, mumbling, partly to himself, partly to whoever he was with, and partly to the polycule, all for varying reasons but mostly just upset at himself; “And I wish you well, for the night… ‘Til I show again.”

*Now back to mostly just depression and addiction! Yep. Mhm. Because obviously, when you think you cheated on your partners, the best thing to do is not tell them and ruminate on it.*

Garvin, referring to his suicidal thoughts and depression, and the usage of self-harm to alleviate them, all things that the polycule would probably know about; “It’s in my veins again… But they know that I’ll bleed it out before I wake.”

Garvin, the backwards breathing being a reference to how backwards the whole idea of self-destruction being a good way to feel better is, even if it feels good in the moment; “Exhale some oxygen… It burns like heroin.”

Garvin, referring directly to drug usage now actually and just how much he’s come to depend on it; “Now it’s in me… And I can’t let it go.”

Garvin, now referring to effects that drug usage can have on the user and those around them; “And my bones are caving in… And it stole my faith again…”

Garvin, to the polycule, actually, kind of lashing out and pulling away, outright leaving even, because of, well, drugs and him being unwilling to cut back pretty much at all; “And I wish you well for the night!”

*After he calms down a little, Garvin does a little reflection. As one could expect, it only leads to more depression and angst.*

Garvin, referring to the polycule, how much he loves them and how much they seem to be willing to put up with for him; “They’re in my life again…”

Garvin, still referring to the above, but also half-laughing about how they shouldn’t, about how much of a losing battle, how much of a waste of effort and time, being patient with him seems to be; “But they won’t ever win…”

Garvin, referring to the polycule, reflecting on what he said and deciding to in fact give them the night without him and his shit; “And I wish you well for the night… For the night…”

Garvin, half-laughing about it yet again, digging himself deeper into the hole that is depression, reflecting on how he got there; “My bones are caving in— I stole their faith again!”

Garvin, just being super mean to himself, upset and lashing out at his own words, quickly losing energy; “I wish you well for the night…”

Garvin, just another small reference to his insane amount of suicidal thoughts and how much he thinks the polycule would be better off without him in it; “For your life…”


Edited at November 3, 2024 09:21 PM by Overthink101
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 10:48 PM


Lost Memories

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I love the song so very much!
So angsty and amazing, I love it
-
Also, I'm halfway through the new season of Heartstopper and it's fucking trauma is killing me, so I'm sure all the Garvin songs and stories are going to cause even more emotional damage now XD
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 11:20 PM


Overthink101

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Glad you liked the song lyric thing!
Can't wait to cause a ton of emotional damage, haha
We're at ~2770 words so far and Garvin still isn't doing very well.
I might be able to finish it tonight though. Or very early tomorrow morning (1 AM). If we're lucky.
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 11:30 PM


Lost Memories

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Sounds great!
I can't wait to sob, lmao
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 3, 2024 11:46 PM


Overthink101

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Haha, yep-
~3140 words now and we're finally in the bathroom. Just got to have Ingall do the actual hair dyeing, Garvin have an insanely graphic suicidal ideation moment, and... Yeah. Pretty much that's all that's left. Hopefully it's done and up within the next couple of hours.
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 4, 2024 01:04 AM


Lost Memories

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Yayyyyy, I'm so scared and so excited :')
-
I'm in a writing mood recently, not sure why, but I think you can expect another story from me somewhat soon too, motivation's a funny thing, lmao
Whispers Cost | DiscussionNovember 4, 2024 01:08 AM


Overthink101

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Haha, as you should be.
We've reached a little impasse where a tiny little bit of a fluff shows up.
We're ~4100 words in so far.
By 2AM WP GT, I can hopefully be done and formatting it to post it.
-
And oooo, always fun!
Yeahhh, motivation is a funny thing. Ah well, I'll love whatever you write

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