Chatbox
 FoxDolphin and Rain
07:30:44 Fox
He looks amazing
 Jack-A-Boo
07:30:16 Jack, Boo, Vapor
-WP Click-

paws for him?
 FoxDolphin and Rain
07:29:02 Fox
I've done that before lol
 Saphire
07:28:20 Phire/ Saph
guys i just did something dumb. i forgot i need an apple to open a geode. XD
 Melancholy
07:24:02 
six of crows is such a good duology
 FoxDolphin and Rain
07:16:01 Fox
Me on my way to rage quit Pong
 Rogue Turkey
07:15:18 Gobble Gobble
Urux,
lol XD
 FoxDolphin and Rain
07:12:42 Fox
Yesterday I got Thunderstorm flirts with Rain
But they see each other as sisters?
 Urux
07:12:11 Urox, Uris
Six of crows mentioned 👀
 Rogue Turkey
07:08:11 Gobble Gobble
Jesper goes exploring, finds a flower and gives it to Kaz.

Stats: Charisma +2
Affinity: Strong Like
Mood: Flirty

I know you're gay, but hitting on your boss is going a bit far, Jes...
 FoxDolphin and Rain
06:29:22 Fox
(I don't know why that posted again, a weird glitch or something)
 FoxDolphin and Rain
06:27:37 Fox
Good, but it's 5:00 AM and I've been on since 2:30 so the time is going really slowly
 FoxDolphin and Rain
06:24:09 Fox
Chrysanthemum listens to Bigfoots snoring and covers their ears with paws.
Literally me when someone is chewing loudly lol
 Amygdala
06:10:17 Amy/Anpmygdala
Star
Just buy whatever you like, gear and decor can't get stolen ,)

Gotta poof now, work is calling
 StarRun
06:09:17 
Yeah the problem is I have no clue what to get I'm trying to think of who to decorate
 Amygdala
06:08:25 Amy/Anpmygdala
Star
Then maybee some gear or decor
 StarRun
06:07:58 
I have 1 of each I believe
 Amygdala
06:07:33 Amy/Anpmygdala
Star
Dyes
That's what i mostly buy XD
 StarRun
06:06:53 
Ok will do
Oh so I have like 800 coins what should I buy with them
 Amygdala
06:05:51 Amy/Anpmygdala
Star
Maybee it's not the right season, keep advertising in sales and someone will see them ;)

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1585
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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