And here's Garvin and Akira's short story! Yay!
The ending's kinda messy because I wasn't sure how to end it and it's mostly angst... Oops, lol
I'll make them a wholesome one too, no worries, haha
-
Heartbeats
-
Characters: Garvin and Akira. Ingall, Revan, and Nico mentioned.
-
TWs: Mentions of past abuse, self-blame, and panic attacks.
-
Notes: This is based around the fact that Akira is going to have a particularly hard time dealing with their partners past situations, especially with Garvin and the Andi Arc and Nico and Adiar, even though, in this, it's been years since everything happened. Basically, Akira doesn't actually process things until much later, mostly in regard to their partners, and they blame themself constantly for everything that happened to the others. This is just one of those situations. Also, an important note, this wouldn't be on a trauma date, just Akira’s mind being triggered by something. Enjoy! :)
-
It was the middle of the day and Akira found themself sitting alone in the small library of the home they shared with their beloveds, eyes skimming the pages of a newly started book, only to have to restart at the top of the page over and over again.
They weren't sure why, it was unusual that they struggled to focus on someone they found as enjoyable as reading, but, for some reason, something just wasn't clicking today. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Kira placed the book back on the shelf and stood, rubbing their temple in annoyance as pain shot through their skull. They should probably take a walk or something, walks often helped on days like this.
So, heading out of the room, they waved quickly to Nico and Ingall who were sitting at the kitchen table and talking as Nico twisted a piece of paper into an intricate shape (which was pure magic, in Akira’s humble opinion).
“Jus’ goin’ on a walk, be back soon!”
“Okay, have fun, Oira! Love you!”
“Love ya too.”
—
Akira’s journey started out as a simple walk, just as they'd planned. Until the pain in their skull turned into less than kind thoughts, pushing Akira into a jog, and then a run to drown them out.
They didn't know why this was happening. There was no reason, no obvious trigger, no arguments, no outside interference, nothing.
And yet, Akira's mind landed back on Garvin.
Not in the loving way as usual. Not when he was grinning or when the two of them were sitting together on the back porch and drinking a bottle of wine between them.
No, none of that.
Instead, he was lying on the floor, body bloodied, hair plastered to his face, eyes void of recognition or any real feeling, even as Nico cradled his head in their arms, tears streaming down her face.
But Garvin was okay now. They had saved him. He was alive, he was fine, and Akira had no reason to be feeling like this. No right to feel like this.
They weren't even the one who had to go through the hell of Andi. They certainly shouldn't be so panicked about a past event that they didn't even experience.
‘It’s your fault.’
The vision reappeared even as Akira pushed their body to move faster, trying to focus on their burning muscles rather than whatever their stupid mind was doing, and this time it was worse because Garvin wasn't breathing.
They weren't sure how they could tell from how far away they were, but they knew. He wasn't breathing.
‘You failed him. You failed everyone.’
They reached out an arm, reaching for Garvin's limp body, only for Nico to shove them away, green eyes filled with angry tears.
‘You had one job.’
It didn't make sense. Garvin was alive. He had to be alive. They had saved him.
Right?
‘You were supposed to protect them. That's your job, Akira. Protect them from harm. You failed. Again.’
No. No, no, no. It wasn't true. It couldn't be it was… it was just their brain. Just their brain being fucked up, that was it.
Garvin was fine.
‘You failed and they all hate you for it. Everyone.’
They were breathing heavily now, heavier than they should be, even while running, and their limbs were starting to fail, shaking as they kept pushing.
Faster. They had to go faster. They had to outrun it. Outrun their thoughts. Outrun everything.
‘You killed him.’
Their foot caught on something and they collapsed, blindly reaching to grab something that wasn't there only to land with all their weight on one wrist.
And, for one blissful moment, all they could hear, feel, and see was the pain.
‘You killed him, Akira.’
But, god, was that voice persistent. And, god, did it sound convincing.
Too convincing.
‘Garvin is gone because of you.’
Maybe he was. Maybe this whole time, Akira had been living in one big, fucked up illusion, telling themself that everything was fine when it wasn't. Maybe they were fucking delusional. It wouldn't be that surprising, would it?
“Excuse… you alright?”
‘You betrayed everyone. You could have saved him and you didn't.’
“Mx? Can… hear me? I… panick attack…”
‘It’s all your fault.’
“Try… breathing… 3…”
‘Failure.’
“1…3… Mx?”
‘Traitor.’
“Please… promise… this… phone?”
‘Liar.’
“Call… for you?”
‘How could you?!’
“G-Garvin-”
They weren't sure how they managed to choke out his name, but whoever it was kneeling in front of them came into focus long enough that they could see her bob her head and start swiping through the device in her hand.
“Garvin, okay… see…”
‘They hate you.’
The sound of ringing echoed through the air, quickly mixing with the woman's voice again, going in and out of focus as the image of Garvin's body came and went, always accompanied by hateful voices, spiking Akira's panic over and over again to the point where their head felt light and they thought they may suffocate from the lack of air.
‘You deserve it.’
Maybe they did.
“Garvin… way! Hold on!”
‘Just give up already, nobody wants you around anyway!’
‘Look how pathetic you are!’
‘Can’t even save yourself, how useless.’
“‘Quila?”
The voice startled them enough for everything to fall silent for a split second, just long enough to catch sight of the freshly dyed magenta hair and worried gray eyes.
‘You're just dreaming!’
They were shifted slightly, head gently lifted from the ground and placed against soft fabric as a familiar scent surrounded them.
“I gotcha.”
‘Li-’
The voice was interrupted by a new sound, coming from deep within the chest where Akira’s head rested. First one, then another. Steady, constant, and undeniably alive.
A hand gently trailed through their hair and Akira allowed their eyes to fall shut, focusing solely on the feeling and the sound of the heartbeat. Garvin’s heartbeat.
Because he was alive, and he was here.
—
Akira wasn't sure how long they sat there before their body and brain eventually calmed down enough for them to relax, slumping more into Garvin’s embrace and grimacing slightly when their wrist moved.
“Are you sure you don't want me to call an ambulance or something? I think they might need medical attention or something.”
“Nah, I got ‘em. Thanks.”
“Sure.”
They opened their eyes for a moment to look back at the woman before she could fully walk away. She looked younger with light brown hair and darker brown eyes.
“Thank ya…” Their voice was raspy as they forced the words out, but the woman smiled anyway, eyes seeming to soften a little.
“It's no problem, really. I'm glad I could help, and I hope you feel better soon!”
She nodded once toward Garvin and turned to walk away, leaving Akira in their boyfriend's arms feeling like utter shit as pain shot up their arm again.
“We should get home, I'll carry ya.”
“I can… I can walk!” They attempted to prove their point by pushing off Garvin's chest, only to his in pain as another flare shot up from their wrist.
“‘S okay, ‘quila, I gotcha. ‘Sides, easier ta catch ya up on the Star Trek episode ya missed this way.”
He grinned and Akira caved, despite knowing the excuse was total bullshit, because being held and listening to Garvin rant right now sounded like just about the best thing in the universe, even if they didn't deserve it. And they didn't have the energy to argue anyway, so it probably wouldn't matter.
—
The walk back to the apartment took longer than Akira thought it would, but they honestly didn't mind too much, content with listening as Garvin broke down the missed Star Trek episode detail by detail, leaving nothing out. Despite the fact that the two had already benched the show together twice before. But it didn't really matter because his voice was soothing and distracting and Akira held onto it along with the sound of his heart.
When they finally arrived back home, Nico greeted them at the door, obviously anxious as he bounced on the balls of her feet, yelling over their shoulder before rushing out to meet them.
“They're back! Oh, Riri, are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt, your wrist is all swollen!”
“‘M fine, Nico.”
They barely got the words out before Ingall appeared, gently grabbing Nico's hand and pulling him back a few steps. “Calm down, let's just let them come inside first, alright? Garvin, Revan’s on the couch with the first aid kit, you two can patch up Akira and then we can eat, does that sound alright?”
“Sounds good, Polaris!” Garvin grinned and started moving again, Ingall and Nico trailing behind as guilt flashed in Akira's chest. They were all worried because of them, it wasn't fair.
Moments later, they were sitting on the couch while two of their partners examined and effectively fixed up their wrist after determining it was just a sprain, not a break, and Revan was standing to help set up the table, leaving them staring at the ground as Garvin knelt in front of them.
“Sorry…” Their voice was barely above a whisper as they glared hard at the ground, unable to face the inevitable disappointment or anger on Garvin's face. They'd pulled him away from whatever he'd been doing before, disturbed an innocent woman, worried all their partners, and managed to find a way to give Garvin more work by being too weak to stand and too stupid to do so much as catch themself without getting hurt. Who wouldn't hate them?
“Not yer fault, Plum. I ain't mad at ya. Promise.”
“Why not?” The words spilled out before Akira could stop them and they clenched their good hand in their lap. “You should be. Ya should be mad at me. Ya should hate me! Why don't you hate me, Garvin?!”
There was a slight pause, but then Garvin’s hand reached out to gently cover theirs and he was answering, voice softer than normal.
“Couldn't hate ya if I tried, ‘quila. Yer too smart and kind fer that. And genuine and the list goes on. Plus, without you, who'd I watch Star Wars an’ Trek with?”
Akira laughed through the tears that had finally decided to spill and looked up, examining the soft smile on Garvin’s face and the way his gray eyes held onto their amber ones with sincerity that was so often hidden by casual amusement.
“Ya could ask Nico?”
Garvin raised an eyebrow. “We both know he just pretends ta like what we watch so we don' feel like we have ta watch somethin’ else. They jus’ find it all ‘very confusing.’”
“I do not!” Nico’s voice echoed from the kitchen, causing them both to chuckle.
Then, Garvin reached out to cup Akira’s cheek, brushing away a few tears before planting a gentle kiss on their lips. “C’mon, let's go eat, hm?”
They smiled leaning into him for a moment longer before nodding, the tension in their chest finally beginning to fade away as their brain began processing the last hour, finally starting down the long path of figuring out the difference between the truth and harmful ideas. It would take a while, but maybe, just this once, Akira could finally let their guard down and allow the others to help them.
“Yeah, sounds good. Thanks, Garvin.”
Summer 
Night Weather: 
Fog Moon: 
