i only have read the first chapter so far but MY GOD?? the way you perfectly set the scene is so good, i could picture exactly where Varian was and how he was feeling D: so goood, i can't wait to impulse read all of it right now

OH Geez XD

well, I definitely welcome feedback! Help me get better in writing. :3

imma... go eat dinner. XD

i'm not a writer myself, just an avid reader so feedback is not my forte xD it looks great to me though! i especially like how you seperate the speech from the other text so it's easier to read.

I'm glad! I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that when someone new speaks, you put in a new paragraph. Since I've wanted to be an author I picked up the habit and haven't let it go since!