Chatbox
 LeafClan
12:29:31 Leaf she/her
Tea how about Sakura antlers?
 Lavender moon moon
12:29:15 Lucky
I need a backstory for one of my wolves bio. ANY ideas-feel free to throw them my way. Its for Mouse!
 Mercenary
12:28:35 
-WP Click-

Looking for 1-2 more RP partners! Forums only :)
 The Tea Drinkers
12:25:50 Tea, Tea Queen
Vah
oooh yeah maybe :o

Leaf
I don't think the pink wings are the vibe im going for.
 LeafClan
12:24:59 Leaf she/her
Zera what do you think of my Viti?
-WP Click-
 Zeraphia
12:21:36 Festive Vah
Tea

I feel like you could definitely get away with the angelic cloak as well.

But if you're looking to spend just mushrooms. I'd go with flower gear and the vine wraps.
 LeafClan
12:20:13 Leaf she/her
Tea I have A 42 hour pregnant Infat!
 LeafClan
12:17:34 Leaf she/her
Tea pink angel wings!
 The Tea Drinkers
12:16:34 Tea, Tea Queen
-WP Click- gear suggestions for my girly?
 LeafClan
12:15:41 Leaf she/her
Love Trap and FallenLeaves relentlessly chase Guts the clown of pack Klownz through the meadow.
 LeafClan
11:58:57 Leaf she/her
Gray I finally got angel wings!
 Werewolf
11:58:16 Lycan, My can
Graywing


Thank you so much.
 Werewolf
11:57:59 Lycan, My can
Gardiens Brisès pack

Thank you so much.
 Graywing
11:57:29 Slate, Gray
Lycan

Its the birdwatcher in jungle
 Gardiens Brisés Pack
11:57:18 Lotus/Lucca
Lycan,

The guy in the jungle drops it when you scare him off in the Jungle
 Werewolf
11:56:14 Lycan, My can
Hey chat, what animal drops a feather that helps with labor for a wolf?
 LeafClan
11:55:57 Leaf she/her
Why wont my pack fight grendel?
 Whispering Rain
11:39:50 It's me Rain!! :D
Eh my other alliances are fighting again
 Thanksgiverbeast
11:39:32 Will
-WP Click-

Wow
You were ugly
 RazorWolfe
11:39:22 Razorine Wulvenstein
-Click-

this pose makes me wanna start break dancing for some reason

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1598
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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