| Closed | September 13, 2021 08:19 PM |
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Neutral
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queen.: I think Zehra has a solid personality, but I know what you're talking about. I find the way to spice up characters is to do one of two things: 1. Give them interests/hobbies. 2. Give them unique perspectives on common human experienced. For instance, you can ingrain your character more deeply in her culture and even add stuff if you want. She might have a strange perspective on death due to her powers, and perhaps insensitive about the matter or considering it something like life. Think about how she interacts with the ideas of violence and war - does she use violence to stop violence, and if so, how does she feel about this? I like to research interesting medieval customs and hobbies to flesh out my characters. |
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| Closed | September 13, 2021 08:51 PM |
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Neutral
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freedom@
i see what you mean. she just sorta feels stale to me, but i think adding those sort of quirks and interests will help for sure. thank you ^^ |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 12:27 AM |
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Lightbringer
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Oooh. I'm going to be asking advice for a few characters I'm working on, but for now (since this is my most recent thing) I'd like feedback on content. I've only posted once. I will definitely take feedback on grammar, but I'm more interested in making my posts interesting and pushiing the plot along ya know since it's probably a one time read since it's a roleplay and this character |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 07:06 AM |
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Lightbringer
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Can Took a look at your replies! I think you work the plot well, and your grammar is generally excellent! So, there's no actual textbook flaw in your writing. This is more of a a structure, content, and flow thing - your sentences tend to be choppy, direct, and this = that? Not quite sure how to express myself u h . So, you tend to state facts, instead of letting your thoughts flow; for example: . "His butt was throbbing and his back was sore. The cold concrete ground radiated through the hot pain. The night before he had found a corner with a nice wall so that anyone coming towards him had only one way. He also had a clear shot to the exit. It had been hard for him to essentially be weaponless. He had to unstring his bow, because he couldn’t leave it full of tension all of the time." . Instead, you can combine sentences; show, don't tell. Rather than, "It had been hard for him to essentially be weaponless", a phrase that does provoke much interest or connection to the character, explain why it was hard. Be it he was afraid of the others, he felt he was dependent, he struggles relying on anyone but himself, he feels unsure and unsafe, he had to sleep with his back to the wall, now - whatever. . TL;DR: Show, don't tell. Vary sentence structure. Avoid facts, and this = that sentences. |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 07:53 AM |
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Lightbringer
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Gemini Thank you! >.< so same problem as always |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 09:32 AM |
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Darkseeker
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hello hello! for any of you who have seen my writing or have actually roleplayed with me, could I possibly get some feedback and critiques? I'm always looking to improve my writing, especially since I'm self taught, sobs, and only started getting serious about writing around a year ago. |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 09:49 AM |
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Lightbringer
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What does it mean to be self taught? Because I haven't learned how to creative write from anyone, (besides being told basic stuff like setting plot and characters,) but I have learned how to school write. Xuan, I'd be happy to look over something specific, but I'm not very good at general stuff |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 09:57 AM |
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Darkseeker
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NS: Well, I never really learned creative writing at my school, just basic grammar and spelling really. My creative writing skills just come from me learning by reading a lot of just writing until I get the hang of it, aha. As for something more specific, could you look at my characters in my blog? :0 |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 09:59 AM |
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Lightbringer
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Yeah. Any creative writing I've learned has mainly come from WP and just writing a lot and I suppose reading. I only started getting consistent with creative writing and improving when I started roleplaying on here, so you can see my progress :/ >.< |
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| Closed | September 14, 2021 10:13 AM |
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Lightbringer
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Let's take a look at Kymora Sinaga Okay, so I know it's hard to come up with strengths/weakness, likes/dislikes, but like Freedom said if you come up with more quirks or a different take on something it spices a character up. While these are all valid things that you've listed, I've also seen them many times on character sheets, so you might want to spice it up some. (It's easier to spice something up if it's for a particular roleplay rather than making a general sheet that can be reused.) Also what makes Kymora charismatic? It says she has an awkward sense of humor and a complete idiot. Perhaps a better word would be charming? You did a good job being detailed in the personality and making it unique and creative. |
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Fall 
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