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 LeafClan
04:21:09 Leaf she/her
Redblade put him up I have been waiting forever!
 LeafClan
04:20:47 Leaf she/her
Collar something on your profile page is not showing up though..
 redblade
04:20:08 
anyone want to bred my wolf Kael he is a nice looking wolf
 Collar
04:20:07 ♰ Vapor ♰
Sigma

Both,,,
Also you should use my gear duh xoxo/j
 The JOLLY Sigma
04:19:13 Leo | Leon | Sigma
Chat, I need ur opinions 🤔

Should I customize, stud, or both to this guy? -WP Click-

Also name/gear/decor suggestions? :D
 Collar
04:19:12 ♰ Vapor ♰
Leaf

It's in the Characters tab :3
 LeafClan
04:18:33 Leaf she/her
Collar I can not see your badge?
 Reathmuaz
04:18:23 C.rucifi.X/Seraphix
Vape,
It so does omg... <3
 Collar
04:18:14 ♰ Vapor ♰
besto <333!!
 Caeruleum
04:17:53 Cae, Blue
Friendo <333
 distant-lands
04:17:51 katy | beetle
ughh i've been so busy lately e.o i feel like i could sleep for 3 days right now.
 Caeruleum
04:17:07 Cae, Blue
Do i plan on going from 11 free spaces to 1 right before mass breeding? Indeed i am. Nothing quite like the stress of making money for expansions to motivate to explore XD
 Collar
04:16:16 ♰ Vapor ♰
Reef

It looks so good on my profile, I'll throw up
 The JOLLY Sigma
04:14:05 Leo | Leon | Sigma
Purge

IÂ’m excited, your antlers always looks awesome 🤩
 Nyx Ignis
04:13:29 
pvp anyone? trying to level up my 23BE
 LeafClan
04:10:40 Leaf she/her
Entertaining Fire ambushes Alice Angel.
 Zeraphia
04:04:07 Festive Vah
Hehe, finally posted the story--or what I have of it so far.

That took way too long to find a simple title.
 Nyx Ignis
04:01:34 
oop ignore that double send
 Nyx Ignis
04:01:13 
Lmao
 Loveless
03:58:12 lexiboo
Not me spending mush on almost every raffle

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1598
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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