Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“I’m not mad, I-I forgive you, I just... I don't know. I just feel tired, like I can't stop thinking when I try, and I fight it, but it doesn't work. I can't sleep, I-I just want it to stop. I'm scared, Eni. I don't want to feel like this anymore.”

--

Eni glanced down at Agnar, sighing lightly. “Sometimes fighting out thoughts simply isn’t a good idea, Agni. If you try not to think about something then you’re denying something that your mind believes important enough to warrant thinking about. And trying not to think about it will just end up with you waging war with your mind. You can only reach conclusions and closure if you think about it, if you allow your brain to grow and learn from it. I understand you being scared, but courage is facing those fears head on. And if I know you, then I know that you’re one of the most courageous people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.”

*~*~*~*

“I'm not sure. I feel like, even if I did stop her she'd still stress about it, you know she won't stop worrying. I'm worried about her too, though, you're right. Star does have a tendency to forget that her own health is just as important as everyone else's.”

--

Salen nodded, “That’s understandable. I just wish she’d remember how much we care about her too. But I know that convincing people of that is a lot harder than that, especially if they already don’t believe it.”

*~*~*~*

Time passed and Illon couldn’t seem to get the breathing down. They also couldn’t tell if this was because they were already so far along in it that it wasn’t enough or if it was just because they were also worrying over what would happen if they were(or if they did slip).

--

“I can grab my guitar.”

--

“That could be good.”

--

Illon heard as Ambrose rose, leaving them with Esta for a moment. They wondered what she thought of them, like they always did. They never asked afterwards. They were never sure if they actually wanted to know…

--

Salen watched as Ambrose left the tent, grabbed his guitar, and went back in. She raised an eyebrow and heard Isabella move next to her, she looked over and saw Bella sitting on the ground. Patting the ground beside her. “I think they might be a while. No point in standing the whole time. Hopefully, Ambrose and Esta can help Illon and we can get going, but I don't plan on leaving them behind.”

--

Salen nodded with a light shrug, sitting down beside Isabella. “I suppose, you’re right. What do you assume is going on in there? I hope that it’s nothing too worrisome.”

--

Illon heard when Ambrose returned, heard when he settled down and began playing, humming along with it. Illon wondered for a moment what the purpose of that was, other than eliminating silence from the tent. And then, as they usually did, realized it was a distraction too. For everyone in the tent. A distraction meant they wouldn’t be focusing on their anxieties.

--

How Ambrose knew it was a good idea to bring in a distraction was unknown to Illon, the only thing they could think of was that maybe Ambrose dealt with anxiety too. Which… Kind of made sense, actually. Less severe than theirs had been once upon a time, but it was still obvious enough now that Illon thought about it.

--

Either way, while they still couldn’t move- The distraction was definitely working enough to allow their breathing to even out. They hated that they did this, and they hated when people said it wasn’t their fault. Sure, they knew that they couldn’t exactly help it and all- But it was still caused by something about them. They hated it. Not much they could do about it but wait it out though.

Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“Thank you, Eni. I-It means a lot.” Eni smiled, watching as Agnar slowly pulled away. “You're still the best parent I could ask for.”

--

“I’m honored to still carry the title.” Eni’s tone then switched to lightly more amused one. A more teasing one, “But honestly, I’m not forgetting how close you sat to the fire yesterday.”

*~*~*~*

“I'm not really sure, but I think it will be alright. I mean, Esta knows what she's doing, and Ambrose has always been good at calming people down. That's the calmest I've ever seen Karma, after all. Honestly, I am worried, but whatever's going on, I don't think there's anything we can do about it. The best we can do is just have patients and hope everything works out. Sometimes though, that's the hardest thing to do. Nothing.”

--

Salen nodded, “Indeed, it is. I simply hope it doesn’t take too long, given that Amel may get impatient should we wait that long.”

*~*~*~*

Illon listened to the song being played, mostly to make sure that they didn’t end up going backwards in progress. It wasn’t until the key changed that Illon questioned whether Ambrose was stealing material. Not because Illon thought that they heard it before- But because Ambrose was simply that good. There was no way that it could all be original, right?

--

Only, Illon knew it was. Because it was Ambrose. And Ambrose was amazingly good at music. Then, they felt a light grip that came when someone was using their abilities on someone else, if that was how the ability worked. A feeling they knew well due to Esta and their own recklessness. The emotions of longing, sadness, and love could be felt for miles as the song continued it seemed.

--

It reminded them of times better left in the past. Times that they had tried forgetting. Times like when they were twelve, though they had always failed at forgetting it. The way they had slipped away for the very first time. It had broken their mother’s heart. They had never apologized, too anxious at first and then it felt like it had been too long to do so with adequate reason.

--

They still wished they had though. The song continued, and Illon almost didn’t notice when they slightly moved in a sad shiver caused by holding back tears. But they did, because that was something. Something new, something different. And then they tried flexing their fingers, starting small to see how long there was left of it all.

--

Barely complying joints told them that there was a few minutes left to the worst of what was happening today. Not like the rest would be much better after this, but they’d at least be up. What they did notice with ease was how watery their eyes were, and had they’d been able to move then they would’ve wiped them away by now. But given how they were only just starting to get some control in their fingers back- They doubted that would be happening yet.

“I’m honored to still carry the title. But honestly, I’m not forgetting how close you sat to the fire yesterday.”

Agnar smirked. "I'm not sure what you're talking about." He stated, feeling more comfortable as the mood shifted. "I was perfectly safe, it's not like I was in it."

---

“Indeed, it is. I simply hope it doesn’t take too long, given that Amel may get impatient should we wait that long.”

"Agreed," Isabella said, looking over towards Amel. "As much as I'd like to throw a flame ball at him, another fight isn't ideal."

---

As the music continued, Esta found herself closing her eyes and remembering things that she'd been blocking out for years. She remembered sitting under the night sky on a warm summer night, leaning against the wheel of Felecia's car and joking about some small, stupid thing they'd come up with. She remembered Felicia's laugh, the way it seemed to light up the whole world, and how her blue eyes glowed when she looked at Esta, how she affectionately said her name and pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead.

And, of course, Esta remembered the fighting. She could perfectly recall the way Felicia rolled her eyes with annoyance when Esta scolded her for smoking or drinking, and the way she'd promised to stop, then two days later, while snow fell peacefully around her, Esta saw the bottle she hid under her coat. She remembered grabbing the bottle away, Felicia screaming at her, Esta sobbing, the bottle smashing against the ground, and the sting of a slap across her cheek. Then the pleading, the begging, the way Felicia's beautiful eyes filled with tears, the way her hand reached out to take Esta's hand. And the way Esta pulled away, it was over, she'd said, she couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't watch the girl she loved so much do this to herself, she'd run, and she'd never seen Felicia again.

Finally, Esta remembered returning home to her grandmother, crying. When she explained her grandmother just shook her head. It was bound to happen, she'd said, it was a sin, what Esta was doing, after all, she shouldn't like girls how she did. It was okay though, she could still make up for it, she could forget everything and move on, find a nice boy to love. Her grandmother still loved her, after all, and she should have just listened in the first place. She only wanted what was best for Esta.

---

Ambrose played the last cord and slowly became aware of his surroundings again, noticing immediately that both Esta and Illon were crying. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" He said quickly. "I didn't realize I was using my power, I didn't mean to, really."

Esta opened her eyes and smiled sadly at Ambrose. "No, no, it was beautiful, Ambrose... I-I think I needed that, actually. It's been a long time since I... remembered."

Ambrose looked concerned, though he did keep quietly strumming his guitar, his nerves getting the better of him. "You're sure? You seem very upset."

"No, I'm okay, thank you." Esta wiped tears from her cheeks and looked over to Illon, maybe the music was helping them, hopefully, it was. It definitely wasn't what Esta had been thinking, but if it did work, that would be amazing.

Ambrose followed Esta's gaze and sighed quietly when he realized Illon was crying as well. "Sorry, El." He apologized again.

---

Karma blinked when they realized the song had ended, their mind had dragged them back to bitter sweet memories... and then just plain bad memories. It wasn't surprising, Karma didn't have many good memories to actually remember anyway, so it made sense that they would remember bad things.

They realized they'd been crying and quickly wiped their face, picking up their notebook quickly and drawing their knees close to their chest, covering themselves from anyone who may be looking. They hated seeming vulnerable.

At the same time, though, Karma wasn't mad at Ambrose in the slightest. In fact, they were almost grateful. Even if what Karma's mind went to hadn't been necessarily good, it was still somehow better than the scrambled, loud chaos that their mind was usually. Much better, even. Honestly, they were glad for Ambrose. Because, in those few minutes that his power had set in, Karma had felt calm.

Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“I'm not sure what you're talking about. I was perfectly safe, it's not like I was in it.”

--

Eni narrowed their eyes in disbelief, raising an eyebrow. Their tone was still amused though. “With how close you were to it? Hard to tell.”

*~*~*~*

“Agreed. As much as I'd like to throw a flame ball at him, another fight isn't ideal.”

--

Salen held back a slight laugh and glanced over at Amel, who was simply sitting by the coals of the put out fire. Luckily enough, he didn’t seem too upset actually. Just lightly annoyed by having to wait.

--

It was honestly a bit strange. To see him being patient for a change. She supposed it was just because he knew there was no way he’d win in an argument to leave Ambrose, Esta, and Illon.

--

She looked back at Isabella, smiling softly. “For once, I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

*~*~*~*

The music continued, Ambrose’s ability causing their mind to turn to memories they would rather forget. That they were constantly trying to forget.

--

Of them, at twelve, staring down at high school and college level papers whenever they were with their mother. Of them, at twelve, moving around the country and being homeschooled whenever they were with their father. Of them, at twelve, hearing a door open that they thought were more people wanting to meet the prodigy child of their mother. Of them, at twelve, never having a moment to simply relax due to the constant traveling at their father’s. Of them, at twelve, slipping away, staring at work as family members, not people wanting to meet them, came over for their mother’s birthday.

--

They were sure they were crying then. There was no way they weren’t. They wondered for a moment what Esta was remembering. They wondered what Ambrose was remembering. They wondered if the song would last long enough to go through everything or not… They almost hoped it didn’t. The last thing they needed was to remember all the ways they had ever failed in life.

--

The song eventually stopped, and when it did. They heard Ambrose speak. “Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize I was using my power, I didn't mean to, really.”

--

“No, no, it was beautiful, Ambrose... I-I think I needed that, actually. It's been a long time since I... remembered.”

--

“You're sure? You seem very upset.”

--

“No, I'm okay, thank you.”

--

And then Illon could feel eyes on them, and they felt the stab of guilt at how they were progressing so slowly. It was frustrating, wanting to do something and being unable to. “Sorry, El.”

--

Well… They could technically move their fingers slightly, at least. Communication would be limited, and difficult, but… Slowly, so very slowly. Slowly enough that halfway through, Illon was tempted just to give up on it, they made a thumbs up towards Ambrose.

--

There. Show that it wasn’t a problem, and show that they were getting better… They were still so certain that they weren’t making progress fast enough, but the two probably didn’t realize Illon’s feelings. After all, who would? They were always one to go at their own pace, even when it infuriated others. But with this? They simply couldn’t help but get frustrated at how slow they were. They were sure that if it was anyone else then they would find a way to make it go faster.

"With how close you were to it? Hard to tell.”

Agnar grinned. "That's the point." He stated. "Get close enough that it looks dangerous, but not close enough that you actually get hurt." The ranger paused a moment and then added. "Probably." He amended. "Close enough that you probably won't get hurt."

---

“For once, I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

Isabella followed Salen's gaze and her eyes narrowed. "Not sure how to feel about that." She muttered. "But glad he's not yelling, I guess."

---

Ambrose nodded when Illon made thumbs, but he still felt guilty. The others said it was fine, but they were still crying. And that was his fault. He should have learned how to control himself by now, how to be careful. He wasn't supposed to just slip up and use his power on his friends.

Ambrose's eyes fell to the floor and his fingers strummed his guitar in an aimless, yet beautiful pattern. He really hoped he hadn't pulled up anything too bad from his friend's memories, who knew what kind of bad stuff they'd both been through. It wasn't fair to them for Ambrose to just 'sing it back into existence.' He really should have been more careful.

---

Esta's eyes lit up when Illon moved and she smiled brightly. "Oh look, Illon! You got your arms up! That's a great improvement!" She said happily.

---

Karma managed to get their mind somewhat back together after a few minutes and looked up again, hesitantly opening their notebook to the front pages. They didn't often re-read their writing, for many reasons. The majority of their new writing was scribbling or random doodles that had very little or no meaning at all, but when Karma had first got it... That was different. They'd actually journaled their thoughts.

As Karma started reading again they found their shoulders dropping and their body started to feel heavy. They'd relived some bad things through Ambrose's song, but they hadn't gotten to the worst of it. Now the letters on the pages seemed to swim as Karma watched them.

So many words of self-depreciation and pain, and of family, of failure and manipulation. And Kostas... Kostas's name was present a lot. Of course it was, he was Karma's best and only friend for a long time, the only person that put up with their stupidity, and anxiety, and ADHD.

Actually, the majority of the journal was dedicated to Kos, because Kostas was the only person who would care enough if Karma died, or, rather, when Karma died, to actually come to find them.

And now it was Kostas that was dead, not Karma.

It still felt wrong to them.

Even so, Karma found that they read through their old thoughts and letters rather quickly, always just managing not to cry. It was obvious when Karma had started to truly give up, and it wasn't when the words on the pages got darker as they pressed down harder, or when the words got more violent, or when the paper was tear-stained. That was all away that Karma just let the emotions out, a coping mechanism of sorts.

No, the point when Karma gave up was when the words became nonsense, and then the nonsense became doodles, and then, eventually, just pages that were almost completely filled with nothing but lead markings that meant nothing at all.

If you knew Karma, you knew this was true, because the less they cared about something, the less they spoke about it, and the less they could focus on it. For a long time, Karma had been silently pleading, writing every emotion down in vivid detail, they'd cared. Despite all of the terrible words, they'd wanted to get better. They tried to get better.

Not any more. It was hopeless to try. It just didn't matter to them anymore that they were hurting, because caring made it worse. That's why they were so blunt about everything to everyone, including about mental health. They could point out others' flaws and insecurities easily without feeling a thing. They'd stopped caring, and, most of the time, stopped feeling.

A lot of people would say that was worse, not feeling anything at all, but to Karma, it was just getting rid of the pain.

At least, most of the time.

Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“That's the point. Get close enough that it looks dangerous, but not close enough that you actually get hurt. Probably. Close enough that you probably won't get hurt.”

--

Eni shook their head lightly, “And you wonder why I worry… If it's probably, then it’s too close.”

--

“Not sure how to feel about that. But glad he's not yelling, I guess.”

--

Salen nodded, and then glanced at the tent. “I do hope it’s not much longer though.”

--

Amel stared at the cooling coals of yesterday’s flame. He’d give everyone until the coals were cooled completely, then they’d leave. With or without the three in the tent. They really shouldn’t be wasting time right now, it was too risky to do so with the last Vipers member still on the loose somewhere. Though he most certainly wasn’t going to tell the team about that. That would be too risky.

*~*~*~*

Quite honestly, Illon was glad that the memories had been glimpses into the past. Not full scenes. They couldn’t deal with the full memories right now, not when they were still on the edge of slipping in front of Esta and Ambrose.

--

“Oh look, Illon! You got your arms up! That's a great improvement!”

--

If they were able to scowl, then they probably would’ve. If only for a second. And then they probably would’ve been beaming, simply for Esta’s sake. But of course, they weren’t able to. Because their ‘recovery’ always started at their hands and ended at their head or feet. It was worse when it ended at their feet usually. They hoped that wouldn’t happen this time.

--

There wasn’t much they could do now, except wait. So they did, they waited. Every now and then they would check their fingers, make sure they were going backwards in progress. No one liked that, after all.

--

Eventually, their forearms tensed with their hands. And then their upper arms along with their shoulders. But they laid there a bit longer, getting used to it and listening to Ambrose play. Then, they pushed themselves up into a sitting position.

--

Illon’s gaze was still on the wall, like it had been the whole time. Now though, they forced their eyes towards Esta and Ambrose. Esta was in a hoodie, jeans, and sneakers it seemed. Probably comfortable, but the hoodie was nothing she couldn’t take off if the day got too warm. Ambrose was in a light blue sweater, jeans, and sneakers. Probably with something underneath the sweater, if Illon knew him.

--

Illon didn’t know what they were wearing, but they didn’t remember changing before going to sleep… So probably a loose long sleeve shirt, cargo pants, and their mask. They could feel the mask on still, so they did know about that one, at least.

--

Illon wanted to ask how long they’d been laying there. But for one, they weren’t sure if they could speak at the moment. For two, they weren’t sure if they wanted to find out how bad it had actually been. So instead, Illon tried to move their legs at all. They ended up able to move them ever so slightly. So they assumed that by now their voice would be fine… Probably.

--

“S-So…” And, it wasn’t. Their tone was quieter, but in no way smoother. They waited a few seconds before trying again. “H-How, uh…” Still. They were tempted to simply leave it off there, Esta would understand. And Ambrose probably would too. But they would rather not end on a stutter. “How long w-was I down for..?”

--

Illon hoped it hadn’t been for as long as it could’ve been. As long as it had felt. It felt years, though that was probably most definitely wrong. Esta and Ambrose wouldn’t have wasted their time on them for that long… Right?

“And you wonder why I worry… If it's probably, then it’s too close.”

"Not if you're careful," Agnar answered, grinning. "I mean, I haven't died yet."

---

“I do hope it’s not much longer though.”

Isabella nodded in silent agreement, her eyes landing on Karma, who was staring down at their notebook with a broken look on their face. Bella raised a questioning eyebrow and lightly nudged Salen, gesturing towards Karma.

It was very unusual to see them like this, they were usually jumping from place to place and criticizing everything they saw, not sitting completely still.

"That's not normal," Isa stated. "Any idea what could have gotten to them?"

---

Esta's face lit up when Illon sat up. “S-So… H-How, uh…" The healer waited patiently until Illon got their sentence out, she didn't mind stuttering, but she knew they did. “How long w-was I down for..?”

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Esta stated, shrugging slightly. "I don't think it was for too long though."

Ambrose jumped when Illon spoke, looking over with surprise when he saw them sitting up. "I... lost track of time. Sorry." He murmured, still feeling bad about what happened and unsure of what to actually do. He just kept playing, that's all he really trusted himself to do at the moment. "I'm glad you're up again though." He added, his quiet voice was warm but a little sad.

Esta looked over at the traveler, a little concerned, but she returned her attention to Illon again after a moment, smiling again. "Well, we can leave whenever you feel ready, Illon." She stated kindly. "The others are waiting for us."

Ambrose nodded absently. "I guess I should put my guitar up." He said, standing. "I'll be back."

When Ambrose walked out, he knelt and put his guitar away, freezing when he spotted Karma leaning against a tree next to the tent, completely still. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, finishing putting his instrument away and then walking over to them.

When Ambrose kneeled in front of Karma they didn't respond, worrying Ambrose further. He knew this was his fault. That much was obvious. He hadn't controlled himself, and now Karma was like this.

"Karma." He said softly, reaching over and lightly touching their shoulder. Karma looked up but didn't move further. "Hey, um, I'm sorry for... For using my power. I didn't mean to, I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. Please wake up."

Karma stared blankly at Ambrose, they were aware that they should probably move, probably react and shove Ambrose away or snap at him to prove that they were okay, but they couldn't seem to.

"Karma." Ambrose's voice was shaking now, filling with anxiety and guilt. "Karma, please."

It took a lot of effort, but Karma managed to speak. "W-whatever, Ambrose. I'm fine. Obviously." They stated, pushing theirself up off the ground and standing on shaky legs, trying to gather their thoughts enough to at least walk.

Ambrose stood as well. "I'm sorry, Karma." He repeated, hesitating before stepping forward and pulling Karma into a hug. When he did, he realized the other was shaking. Karma froze at the contact, they weren't used to people touching them unless it was to hit them... Or it was Kostas. Kostas was the only person to ever hug them.

After a moment, Karma leaned into the hug, accepting the warmth. "It's fine." They murmured. "I-It's not really your fault, idiot."

"I still shouldn't have used my power," Ambrose said. "This shouldn't have happened."

"I've been worse."

Ambrose shook his head lightly and pulled away carefully, leaving Karma watching him awkwardly, unable to make eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. "Karma..."

"It's fine."

"It's not. I care about you."

Karma almost scoffed at that. That was a definite lie. Why would anyone, especially someone like Ambrose, care about them.

"Okay, well, I'm fine, so-"

Ambrose hesitated, then nodded. "If you say so." He sighed. "I'm still sorry."

"I know."

Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All

Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All

Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All

Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All

--

“Not if you're careful. I mean, I haven't died yet.”

--

Eni groaned in false annoyance, “See? It’s the yet that worries me.”

*~*~*~*

“That's not normal. Any idea what could have gotten to them?”

--

Salen looked over at Karma before shaking her head in answer. “Not really. If we want to know then we’d have to ask Eni to use their telepathy on them. Though something tells me that Karma wouldn’t be a big fan of that.”

*~*~*~*

“Honestly, I'm not sure,” Illon watched as Esta shrugged, their mood dipping even if it didn’t show in their eyes. “I don't think it was for too long though.”

--

Ambrose jumped, and Illon almost wanted to apologize.. But the stutter they were sure that they would still have was definitely enough to get rid of that idea. “I... lost track of time. Sorry. I'm glad you're up again though.”

--

“Well, we can leave whenever you feel ready, Illon. The others are waiting for us.”

--

And Illon’s mind was pulled from the fact that their feet and lower legs still weren’t complying to instead the fact that everyone was waiting on them. They were wasting the group’s time. Again. They should stop doing that, obviously. Either that or sneak away from the group so that they would be forced to just continue without them. The group didn’t need them, especially now that everything was over. Though they doubted that the group had ever needed them.

--

They were pulled back by the sight of Ambrose standing, and for a moment all Illon could think was that he was leaving. He was leaving and it was because of Illon. It took everything in them not to keep him from leaving.

--

“I’ll be back.”

--

And then their eyes landed on the guitar and it was obvious that Ambrose was just putting it up. They were just being dramatic. Besides, Ambrose had every right to leave. For any reason. Illon couldn’t just keep him from doing what he wanted.

--

But this left them with Esta. Which… Should be good. Less people around made the bubble lessen, and they were always most comfortable around Esta. Making the bubble even lighter. But right now? Speaking hurt, the reopened wounds had dried sticking to the mask. Which meant if they opened their mouth too wide or too much then the wounds would open. Again.

--

And they really didn’t want Esta to know that they had come open again. She would be disappointed in them… No. This was Esta. She’d feel guilty. Maybe disappointed in herself. And that was worse, because it was their fault, not hers. All of it was their fault.

--

But talking was one way that they relieved stress, and without that… They found one of their fingers tapping their palm repeatedly. They clenched that hand, the tapping didn’t stop.

--

And within a minute, they found themselves talking instead. “So… D-Do you have a-any idea w-what in the world d-disney is? A-Ambrose mentioned i-it last night a-and I am so c-confused.”

--

That was a good topic to start out with. Keep their mind from the nagging thoughts of abandonment and waste by talking about something they didn’t know about. Taking middle school, high school, and college level courses all at once half the time kind of had the effect of not having a childhood. Along with being homeschooled and traveling the other half? And then missing a year due to slipping and multiple years in extreme anxiety and then finishing all of those courses and getting a job? It didn’t leave much room for much else.

--

But they pushed the memories out of their head, trying to focus instead on what disney could possibly be. Something concerning television, probably. Since you apparently have to watch it and all. They just hoped Esta knew what it was and that it wasn’t just something Ambrose had made up to make them look like an idiot.

“See? It’s the yet that worries me.”

"Awww, don't be worried Eni! I'll be fine! I'm fast on my feet!" Agnar stated, eyes highly amused.

---

“Not really. If we want to know then we’d have to ask Eni to use their telepathy on them. Though something tells me that Karma wouldn’t be a big fan of that.”

"No, definitely not." Isabella agreed. "They'd probably start throwing things. Like, big things. Trees and stuff." She blinked in surprise when Ambrose came out and then walked over to Karma, her eyebrows shot up when Ambrose hugged them and Karma accepted. "But evidently, whatever is going on, it's bad. That is most definitely not how Karma usually acts." She sighed and sat back, they may be nearing the end of their journey, but the group just seemed to be getting worse and worse. Maybe that was because of how close they were to the end. No matter what the reason, it was upsetting Isabella. They shouldn't be falling apart like this.

---

“So… D-Do you have a-any idea w-what in the world d-disney is? A-Ambrose mentioned i-it last night a-and I am so c-confused.”

Esta's eyes brightened. "You've never heard of Disney?!" She gasped. "Oh, sweetie, you've gotta watch some sometime! So, basically, Disney makes a lot of movies and shorts and stuff, and most of it's animated. A lot of it is really awesome! I personally really like Beauty and the Beast, which is a movie that they made. When we get back to the city I'll totally take you to see one of their movies! I think they're coming out with a new one soon." Esta said happily. "Although I will admit that some of the movies do have some... er, dark things in them, so you should double-check ahead of time to make sure nothing will trigger you." She added, a little more seriously.

"For the most part though, very fun. Did Ambrose say what his favorite was? I can see him being a 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' type of person, or maybe 'Snow White?' Oh, and Isabella would totally be a 'Brave' kind of person, or 'Moana.' I bet Salen would like 'Beauty and the Beast' too, and Agnar would definitely enjoy 'The Lion King'. Not sure about Eni or Amel. Oh! I know! We can watch 'Lilo and Stitch' together! That would be so fun!" Esta smiled and then realized she'd been ranting. "Oh, sorry, I got overexcited." She said sheepishly. "You know how I can get-"

---

Karma and Ambrose stood awkwardly for a moment, then Ambrose nodded again and turned back to the tent while Karma picked up their notebook and walked over to the campfire, sitting down across from Amel silently.

Ambrose quietly slipped back into the tent, just in time to hear the end of Esta's rant. "Oh, Disney." He said, smiling slightly. "I guess I didn't really explain, huh? What'd you guess as my favorite, Esta?"

"'Hunchback of Notre Dame' or 'Snow White.'" Esta answered, smiling.

"Close, 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' is actually my second favorite. My first is 'Princess and the Frog.'"

Esta gasped. "I love that movie! Also, I totally should have guessed that for you, it seems accurate."

Ambrose nodded slightly. "Really? Well, thank you."

"Sure! I mean, you're confident and strong as well as smart! It makes sense!"

The traveler blushed slightly from embarrassment. "Aw, thanks, Esta, that's sweet."

"Of course! Hey, who do you think Illon would be? My guess is... Hmmm, well I haven't really thought about actual characters. Maybe Bell? Or Repunzel?"

Ambrose's eyes drifted over to Illon, glowing thoughtfully. "Let's see, courageous and loyal, willing to do anything for those they care about, even if it means breaking the rules or risking their own lives, smart and kind? My guess is Mulan." He smiled. "A warrior who gave up everything she had to protect her father and saved her people in the process."

Esta's multi-colored eyes lit up and she gasped. "Oh my goodness! How could I not have seen that, it's perfect!" She exclaimed. "We'll have to watch that too, Illon, so you know what we're talking about!"

Ambrose continued to smile lightly, his eyes on Illon, filled with warmth and truth. He believed everything he'd said.