Another bad year. She wouldn't have thought it of him, but he wasn't trying to leave. He was doing nothing. She wanted to scream at him to do something. She knew that Eric would never go out with the intention to cheat, but obviously, he could be lead into temptation. She hadn't thought it would be so easy. There hadn't been enough time for Harper to do much more than show up. She knew that she hadn't seen him do anything, but doing nothing was pretty awful. Why was Harper doing this? Spite? Because she was annoyed that she hadn't gotten Eric's attention?

She managed to get a control on her facial features. She would wait until she was alone. She was getting anticipation and lust from them, and a bit of panic. She had thought this would be fun, but of course Harper would ruin it. She wouldn't underestimate her again. Eric pushed past Harper, and Harper felt the bitter taste of disappointment. She had been working herself up, and this was a huge let down. She stared at Eric as he finally came out. He stared back. Did he notice the small crowd? They gradually began to disperse, when they realized nothing interesting was happening. She stood there, wanting to say something, but nothing she wanted to say in front of everyone.

They wouldn't be able to leave this area without an attendant's help or setting off some sort of fire alarm. At least as far as she could tell. She didn't move as he kissed her. There was no right or effort to kiss back. She wasn't exactly sure what it meant. Kai noticed Harper come out of the corner with a slightly bewildered expression. Anna's eyes were wide as she surveyed the whole thing. She could feel emotions roiling off of Eric, but she couldn't bring herself to do or say anything. She supposed there was something about them that told others to leave them alone. Either it looked like they were wanting to argue in private or they were a couple looking for a private corner.

"What was that?" she couldn't help it bursting out of her, when she thought they were in a private enough of a corner. "Why did you stick around? What happened?" She could feel him shaking. Was that normal? What was that from? She felt a little guilty for questioning him or reading his thoughts and emotions, but she decided not to hide it. "I can tell something happened. You're emotions are a mess, and I don't understand." She wasn't sure if they should leave together to talk, or if they should wait. She wasn't sure if they should have their preliminary talk here or be patient and wait.

"Okay," she sort of gave up. She was slightly keeping her distance from him. They were close, but there was no thinking that they were having a private romantic rendezvous. "Let's go then. I was hoping to at least eat with everyone, but we can do what you want. If we feel up to it, we can meet up with them to eat later. I think we have to stay here until the end of this game, but we can leave after that." She had to try very hard to keep her voice even without any distress or anger. She wasn't sure what to do. Her eyes widened for a brief moment at the confession, but she took it in a stride, since it wasn't surprising.

"That bitch," her face was emotionless for a moment, but low and angry. She rounded on him, "You just stayed there and let her. What did you do?" her voice sounded more accusatory than she would have preferred. She wanted to know how far this went. She shook her head, "I guess we need to go somewhere to talk about this. Eric, she was on my team. She...she wasn't even on your team," she sighed not sure how being on the same team would help. He had even been with a friend. "Let's go." If she wanted to, she could stay here.

They had driven separately, but she believed they needed to talk. She realized that he had said tried, which meant that she had failed. For all she knew, she had managed to kiss, but hadn't gotten much else. She could feel his emotions easier now that he wasn't so near Harper. She felt a pang, when she realized that he was still struggling with desire, and it wasn't to her. She felt a panic. One part of her was mad, because she was scared of losing him. She wanted to kiss him furiously to banish any thoughts of Harper, yet she didn't want to have to compete for her boyfriend's feelings. She knew it was slightly unfair, but feelings played an important part.

"What's going on?" her voice sounded scared this time. "What am I feeling?" She knew that she couldn't match Harper. She didn't have the experience to be a seductress, and frankly, she didn't want to have to keep that up. It wasn't in her current nature, and she didn't have a drive towards that, even though she wanted to please Eric. She wasn't sure what to do. She was scared to push him away the slightest bit. She was scared that it would push him right into Harper's waiting arms.

Eric couldn't possibily think that Harper and him could be regular, but she did make for an easy one day fling. She hated the corner her thoughts had taken. As soon as the game finished, she grabbed his hand and pulled him past everyone as they prepared for the next round. She returned the laser guns, grabbed her belongings and headed toward the car. "Should we drive separately or together? Where are we going?" She didn't want to leave her car here, and perhaps they both needed a few minutes to think alone.

Eric was slightly discouraged when he didn't feel her reciprocate his kiss. But he didn't dwell on it. He could tell she was upset, he knew she was upset long before she even spoke. He flinched just slightly at her harsh outburst, but took it in silent acceptance, similar to how he'd reacted after Jack had dunked him quite violently in the pool. So many questions were fired into him at once, and she was right about his emotions being a mess.

His anxiety was really starting to build up, his chest tightening and his throat beginning to close. Why had Harper even tried to make a move on him in the first place? Was she trying to poke at Kai? Or was she similar to Daniel in knowing that Eric was a virgin and wanted to be the first to take it from him?

"She...she tried to kiss me." he repeated in a near whisper as she asked what had happened. It seemed to be the only answer he could muster right now, his head spinning and his confidence an absolute mess. Had he done something wrong by not pushing away sooner? He'd avoided her kiss, and he hadn't exactly wanted it in the first place. He hadn't gone seeking Harper out, and he surely hadn't encouraged her. But he knew that his inner struggle with lust and desire had been the mistake.

It wasn't that he liked Harper. Not in any way at all. But he found the thought of sex enticing. It was something he'd struggled with heavily in middle school, and something that he'd primarily avoided for most of highschool. But somehow...here it was again. Knocking at his door. Waiting for him to open it and make a mistake.

He felt tears beginning to prick at his eyes. A heavy mixture of an odd guilt, stress, anger at Harper, fear, and strong anxiety that just continued to build. He knew Kailey wasn't deliberately trying to get him worked up, but she was. She wasn't making things any better, especially when she started to accuse him. Or at least...it sounded like she was accusing him.

"I...I didn't..." he said, his throat closing up. He was having a lot of trouble speaking, his mind spinning and his anxiety starting to crush him stronger than it had in a very long time.

What did I do wrong? She came to me. I didn't let her kiss me, I moved away! I didn't want her near me. I don't understand. What if I lose Kailey? Does she think I cheated? Does she even like me anymore? Is she going to leave me for something I didn't deliberately do? I'm so confused, I don't know what to feel anymore...

The thoughts continued to circle, becoming more frantic and urgent with each passing second. He didn't want to lose her. He never wanted that. But he was scared that she would push him away, that she wouldn't ever understand, that she wouldn't believe him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't calm himself down. He couldn't speak right, he just kept stammering. He felt a tear slide down his cheek, and he brushed it away fiercely, not wanting to deal with this anymore.

He felt as if Kai was losing trust and faith in him, and he didn't know what to do to get it back. She had every right to be mad at him, to feel hurt. She didn't know the whole story yet. All she had were context clues. But...it still hurt. It still stung to think that the person you love most in the world didn't think you were good enough. That you weren't trustworthy enough. Did she not have any faith in him at all?

She told him harshly to go, and he followed silently, feeling like a child being scolded by his mother. He instinctively wanted to flinch away at her harsh tone, and he found himself tensing up, as if preparing to be hit or slapped. Never once had Kailey hit him out of anger. Never once had she made any sort of violent move on him. But the years of being beaten, and the responses to that were still very much imbedded in his mind, and he was reacting to anger the only way he knew how.

She asked him what was going on, and what she was feeling, and he couldn't find the will to speak. He was scared. He was scared that he was losing her, scared that she would hit him, scared that he would say something wrong and only fuel the flames further. He was angry. Angry at Harper, angry that Kailey thought he would cheat on her with a slut. Angry at himself for not pushing away sooner, angry at himself for not being able to speak for god's sake!

As soon as the game was done, she reached for his hand. He felt himself involuntarily tense up, preparing yet again for a hit because of her sudden movement. But relaxed a little when he came to realize that she was only grabbing his hand. He felt like he was reverting back to how he was when they first met. Jumpy, anxious, nervous about everything and everyone. Wasn't she supposed to be the person to take all of that away? Wasn't she the person that usually did take that all away, even if she didn't mean to?

He was confused and terribly scared. What was going on? Why did such a little thing have to cause so much pain and confusion? He turned in the laser and grabbed his things, staying completely silent until she spoke to him, asking if they should take separate cars. He paused for a moment, thinking. Part of him wanted to just be with her and never leave her side. But the other part of him was scared to do that. Scared of the tension that may follow.

"You probably shouldn't leave your car here," he said quietly, solemnly. He also felt like maybe they both needed a bit of time alone with their thoughts. He stayed beside and slightly behind her as they exited the building, heading towards their cars. He threw his things in the back and got in the drivers seat, watching her go to hers. He sat for a moment, completely alone in silence, the tension and anxiety from the arena fading.

Since he was alone, and dealing with his emotions alone, he felt his throat start to burn. It burned in that closed, tightened way that signaled the beginnings of tears. Sure enough, a sudden outburst of emotion shot out of him, tears spilling down his cheeks. Everything that had built up inside the building was being released, and he rested his forehead against the steering wheel, letting out everything that needed to be let out.

After a couple of minutes, he calmed himself down and backed out, driving to the diner he and Kailey had agreed to meet up at beforehand.

What had happened that was so bad that he couldn't talk about it? She felt the urge to cry, but she fought it. "Eric, please," her voice began to sound like she was about to cry. "What the hell happened? Just tell me." her voice was angry again, but trailed off sadly and tired at the end. She hated being mad at him or even she could say scared of him. Heartbreak was never something someone looked forward to. He finally answered her. She was confused. Was it normal for someone to feel those feelings? Was it normal for them to not react immediately?

What was she supposed to do? Was she overreacting? He could have pushed her away. He could have held her at arms reach, but he had done nothing at first. The one time she had let someone else kiss her they hadn't even been together. It was a totally different ball park. She was feeling shame, embarrassment, fear, anger, confusion, and grief. She couldn't believe this would happen to her. As far as she knew, they were doing well. Why would there be any struggle at all? After all that Harper had done, she was even more infuriated by all of it.

She found that she had to stop talking. She didn't know what to say, and she didn't want to make things worse. She began to worry her lips mindlessly. She stood there not sure if she should feel awful for herself or Eric. He was crying, which could go two ways. Guilt or she was being an awful person. One part of her was mad at him for letting a tear down his cheek. She didn't want to feel guilty if he had done something, but she wasn't the type of person who purposefully made someone cry even if they had hurt her. She wondered if she should try to comfort him, but she wanted answers. "Eric, please. What else happened? That can't be all of it," she sounded skeptical.

He could at least inform her of how he reacted, but she wanted the details, and she would extract them from his memories, if she had to. She didn't realize how aggressive she was getting. Even if he had cheated, digging through his thoughts without his permission was crossing a line. His failure to answer her questions was bringing her to the worst conclusions. Why was he finding it so hard to answer? "Eric?" her voice was questioning and timid, "Please tell me. I can't handle the suspense." She could see he wasn't talking to her further, so she moved him out, and she could tell that he was flinching away from her. She wanted to rail against that, but she knew it was closer to what he was fearing.

What had she done to him to make him cringe away from her? She had never gotten mad at him before now. She had never touched him harshly. He was refusing to talk. Why was he acting like she had done something wrong? Her mother had always been furious, when she refused to answer, because it would get her in trouble. It was why she was so frightened now. The only reason she wouldn't respond was if she were guilty. She could understand her mother's wrath better, and understood why her mother said to never refuse to talk to the person she was in a relationship with. It was making everything much worse. She was becoming impatient and not gentle or sweet like she normally was.

She wished she could trust him, but he refused to answer her. She was beyond being able to just close her eyes and forget about it or to blindly trust him. She needed his verbal reassurance at the very least. How had this all happened in one innocent day? Inside had been dark, so she squinted for a few moment, as she came out into the bright sun. She nodded her head once. She would take her own car. It was disappointing that they didn't feel like riding together. If she were going to mind read him, now was the best time to do it while it was all fresh in his mind, and he didn't have control over his emotions. However, she refrained for now. She wanted Eric to tell her. She didn't know if she wanted to be alone with her thoughts or not.

She took her leave of Eric and headed to her car. Her head was high and her stride seemed proud. When she was alone in the car, she sat there silent for a moment. She let her anger and fear sweep over her for amoment. She let a few tears run down her face, but she managed to keep herself from full out crying. She felt like they were breaking a part, and she was sure that Eric wasn't in the best shape either. Would he be stable enough to drive? She began to worry. Finally, she decided to go on ahead and drive to their preplanned destination. Hopefully, he would be fine, when he was ready to come on.

When he got there, she got out of her car. She had touched up her appearance some, while she was waiting to make sure that she didn't look like she had been bawling. She hurried out of her car to greet him. "Eric, I was worried, since you took so long," she softly tried to remind him that she did care whatever happened. While she wasn't hugging or anything, she felt that she was being more than reasonable. She was already making the first step, and she wasn't the one under suspection. When they were inside and seated, she started where she had left off. "Eric, you've got to help us. I didn't think anything serious had happened, but you won't answer my damned questions," her voice kept on starting angry, but then taking a weepy turn.

"Please, stop scaring me. Just tell me." She could feel the tears appearing in her eyes, and she was surprised how quickly they had gotten there. "There has only ever been one reason why someone wouldn't answer me, and it was because they are guilty, they feel guilty, or they are trying to hide something, so I would recommend explaining it to me before I think of worse things." She covered her face and took a deep breath before sighing really loudly. "Please," she made one last weak plea before she started crying. She had held back before, but this silent wall was too much for her to handle.

Kai continuously asked him what happened, but never once could he manage to choke out an answer. He tried, he really did. He tried to speak, he tried to get his thoughts in order. But everything that came out was jumbled, switched around, he was stuttering like everything. He couldn't find the right words to say, couldn't place them at all. She asked him once more, her tone skeptical, and he looked at her, a pleading in his eyes.

Please, I'm trying. I'm trying but I can't. I can't. Stop blaming me. Stop blaming me for something I didn't do, stop thinking I'm not loyal. I would never hurt you, never. Not ever would I try to hurt you, never would I cheat on you, you HAVE to know that by now.

His thoughts kept circling and and circling, internally begging her to give him time. Time to think, time to let his anxiety cool down before jumping right in to the next question. He could hear the pleading in her voice, the pain she was feeling, too, which only made him all the more worked up. He wasn't trying to make her upset, he wasn't trying to hurt her. He'd never intentionally do that, never never never. But he was, and it cut him like a knife.

"Kailey..." Was all he could say, his voice nearly a whisper and laced with a deep pain. "Kailey I didn't..." He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream. He wanted to slap himself across the face. Why, oh WHY could he not speak?! WHY did his anxiety have to build so high so quickly?! His jaw clenched as yet another tear started to fall. But before it could leave his eye he fiercely brushed it away. His emotions were stacking, building on top of one another, becoming too big and too strong for him to handle. His throat was burning, the muscles tense and sore from holding back, his eyes were starting to burn, and his chest was heated with fierce anger at Harper for ruining yet ANOTHER day that was supposed to be fun.

"She didn't-" he tried, his mind quickly jumping to something else to say about it. He had tried to say that Harper hadn't actually managed to kiss him, but his brain had stopped him short, his anxiety skipping over to the next phrase. The next phrase that he tried to tell her being that nothing happened, he didn't let anything happen. "Nothing..." He leaned his head back, furious at the way his mind and body was functioning. No matter how hard he tried to focus, how hard he tried to arrange his words...he couldn't. He was panicking, which in turn sent his thoughts scattering in his mind, and he didn't know how to finish anything that he started.

She pulled him out into the open, which caused him to flinch slightly away from her touch. It didn't occur to him how she would feel right away, because all he could think now was,

She's angry. She's mad at you. A hit's coming soon, brace yourself.

That along with so many other high emotions, fears, and anxities. He followed her silently outside, watching her movements. It almost made his stomach churn, seeing how high she held her chin and how confident her stride was. Here he was with his head hung, his body trembling, looking like an abused dog who was now alone on the streets with nowhere to go and no one to turn to, yet she still could manage to keep her pride in check.

Once he was alone, the mound of emotions built up inside were let viciously loose, ripping out of him and exploding from him like a volcano, tearing at his vocal chords and causing a dull headache. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white. He hadn't cried like this since the night he'd fled from home and ran to Kailey's house in the rain. He felt awful, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't made any sort of move on Harper, he hadn't let her kiss him or touch him in any innapropriate way. It had taken him a moment to process what was happening, and it had taken him a moment to push past her. But lust was something he struggled with on a normal basis, it wasn't specifically for Harper.

That alone was a mistake in itself, but not a mistake done against Kai. He hadn't physically done anything to Harper, and he had no desire for her. He just had an innate longing for what was natural. That had been the only cause for delay. Never in a million years did he want that from Harper, never would he want that with anyone else right now other than Kailey. She had his love, she had his devotion, and he wouldn't ever give that up.

He was deathly scared of this situation, horrified that he was losing the one person he'd wanted for so long. The one person he loved with every bone in his body, every inch of his heart. It was too soon to be fearing this, too soon to have to deal with this. They hadn't been together more than two months and already things were starting to get shaky. It took him a good five to ten minutes just to get out of the parking lot and pull himself together. he was nervous about getting out on the road, because his body was still shaking.

Although now...now that this release of emotions had happened...he felt cleaner. Cleansed of most of his anxiety, freed from the chains of doubt that had been wrapping around his heart. He pulled into the diner's parking lot and took a few seconds to get his thoughts in order before slowly stepping out of the car. He shut the door, his hands and arms no longer trembling. Kai rushed over to him, and he looked down at her, feeling somewhat wore out but felt like he could actually function to speak now.

It was obvious from his face that he had been crying. But not only that. She would be able to tell fully that he had had some sort of breakdown or release of things. Unlike Kailey, he had no makeup to cover it up. He had no source of ailment to the redness of his face. The fall air outside was cool though, and that quickly chilled the heat within his body.

"I just...needed some time." he told her quietly as she professed that she had been worried. His voice wavered a little, a hint to the strain he'd put on his vocal chords from yelling and sobbing during the release. He followed her inside, desperately wanting to just throw his arms around her in a hug and tell her he was sorry for scaring her, sorry for making her angry and suspcious, sorry for everything he may have done to hurt her. But she wasn't making any effort to do so, and he didn't want to be clingy or annoy her further.

Once they were seated, she began right away, starting where things had been left off. He was still nervous and fearful that he was losing her, but it wasn't nearly as strong as it had been before, and his anxiety was fading almost completely. He was no longer shaking or trembling, and his mind was running smoothly. He would be able to talk and function normally without skipping around or stuttering or having to stay completely silent.

He listened to her, feeling another stab of guilt that he'd made her feel so badly. He hadn't meant to. He hadn't intended for any of this to happen. He could tell she was still angry, another curse flying out of her mouth but ultimately ending in a sadder tone. She covered her face, sighing loudly, and begged him one last time to tell her what had happened, starting to cry softly.

Eric was seated across the table from her, originally to give her space and room, but his heart broke in two at her words and actions. He slid his hand across the table and gently grabbed a hand, pulling it from her face and holding it softly in his. He could feel tears pricking at his own eyes again. "Kailey I'm so sorry," he said quietly, his heart breaking. "I never meant for you to feel this way, I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze to remind her that he was here, he was better, and ready to explain.

"I promise you nothing happened." he said, keeping his voice low and patient, his tone soothing like it almost always was. He hoped that if she still didn't believe him that she would take the liberty to look into his mind, search, and find that he was telling the one hundred percent truth. "I was with Jonathan at first, but he got shot. I ducked around a corner so I could still be in the game. Harper found me there and came up to me. She trapped me there and tried to get me to kiss her. She tried to kiss me. I..." he trailed off, trying to make sure he would say this next part carefully so it wouldn't make her think he was lying or distrustworthy.

"I didn't do anything at first because I was surprised. I was surprised that she'd found me so quickly and was actively trying to get me to cheat." He ran a thumb over her hand, thinking a bit more before speaking again, his gaze dropping to the table for a few quick moments. "I struggle with some things sometimes, Kai." he admitted. "I think everyone does at least to some extent at some point in their lives. It really took me off guard, and...I guess my body reacted quicker than my mind did. That's why I couldn't get out of there sooner. That's why I didn't push her away sooner. I know it's...it's hard to understand, and I'm sorry." The last few words came out as a whisper, laced with desperation and pain. Desperation for her to understand or to at least try and understand, and pain that he'd hurt her. Pain that he had to deal with this internal struggle, pain that it would likely affect both of them again at some point.

A tear slowly fell from his eye, but he made no attempt to brush it away. His focus and attention was on Kai now. "Kailey I love you," he told her softly, but deep emotion evident in his voice. "I love you so much, I'd never intentionally hurt you. Never. I promise you...nothing happened. She got nowhere. She failed. I pushed past her and I came to you. I came to you. I love you, I'm not going away, and I'm not going to give in to any sort of temptation supplied to me by someone other than you."

He stood up and slowly moved to her side of the table, sliding in the booth with her and wrapping one arm around her shoulders while keeping one hand clasped in hers. He didn't know if she believed him, but he was being as honest as he could possibly be. He was doing his best to explain what happened, to gain this trust back. To mend things back to the way they were.

"I don't want to lose you," he whispered, another tear escaping. "You mean so much to me, I hope you know that. I love you..." He couldn't stop saying it. Those three words were usually taken so lightly by everyone. But to him they meant so much. SO much. They conveyed devotion, trust, loyalty, comfort, honesty and the list went on. He hadn't experienced much love throughout his life, which was part of the reason why those three little words had such an impact on him. He wanted to share that, share that powerful feeling with someone else, show them that he cared. He truly did love her, and he had an inkling that he would never stop. Even if things one day did go south, even if they broke up and never got back together. Even if she ended up marrying some other guy...he wouldn't ever stop loving her. It would prevent him from being able to have many successful relationships. But even if he did manage to marry someone other than Kailey...he wasn't sure how long that would last. Or if he would ever really be able to focus on her fully. He knew that he would at least be thinking about Kai. Probably more than he should be as a married man.

But he didn't have to worry about that now. He wasn't married. He was with Kailey. She was his love right now, she needed comfort, love and reassurance, and he was here now to supply that.

She decided she would probably cry either way. It seemed to be a safer reaction. For the moment, she gave up on getting a straight answer from him. She knew she was badgering him, but she couldn't stop freaking out. It was becoming more obvious that she wasn't helping at all, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. She felt her heart hurt for herself and his tone. Was she a horrible person? Should she trust him implicitly? When she went outside, anger was keeping her head up. It was better than disolving into tears.

She didn't understand. Eric had said he loved her. She had been one of the first to love him. Was that not enough? Would this hurt him, if they separated, as much as it would hurt her? He was the only one who knew her secret, and she wasn't planning on telling anyone else, even her husband, if she didn't marry Eric. She was too afraid that they would be afraid of her, because she could pry, and that would cause them to treat her like a freak. When she arrived at the place, she became even more afraid. He still wasn't here. Had he been too cowardly to show up? Was he leaving her? Had something bad happened to him? She wasn't sure if she should call him or find some other way to make contact.

When he finally pulled in, she rushed out to see him. However, even though she felt guilty for making him cry so much, she still wanted to get to the bottom of everything. She had a feeling that a little bit of sweetness would go a long way, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Eric's own fears piled on to her own. What would she do without him? How would she move on? It was dangerous for someone to put so much of their happiness in one person. It could tear her a part, if he ever disappointed her.

Now that she was crying, she wasn't sure if she wanted Eric looking her full in the face across from her. Before she had liked that arrangement. It made sense to give each other space, and she could inspect his face easier. Now, it was different. She felt like beating her head against the wall. She felt that would be nearly as efficient as trying to get him to speak. She resisted his hand pulling hers down from her face. She knew she looked awful. Even though it wasn't a big deal, because he had seen her in worse conditions, she didn't want anyone seeing her face at the moment. When she realized that Eric would win, she let him pull her hand away.

Her head lifted hopefully. Would she finally get answers? Had the time apart actually done something beneficial for them. He finally said the words she had been wanting to hear. Her face looked hopefully at him. If he was good at thinking, he could lie to her, but if he did it well enough where she didn't detect it, it would change whoever lied forever, and it wouldn't be good. His voice was soothing. It was calm and he sounded in control. There wasn't doubt, even though he did pause to figure out the best way to word things.

Desperately, she wanted to believe him. Her eyes lit up, when he described what Harper did. It was unbearably bold. Who did she think she was to behave like that? Kai might have expected it of her in a different setting, but Harper had hardly chosen a place that would make sense. She closed her eyes not sure what to do. "Why couldn't you have told me that sooner?" she whispered a bit pained. "Why does Harper keep doing this?" her voice was strained.

Now, it wasn't the desperate worry of earlier, but more of a current confusion. It was still something that concerned her, but she realized it would be hasty of her to do anything. He had tried to remain loyal. The insecurity in her whispered, but he was so easily tempted. She found herself talking and filling time, "At first I didn't think anything had happened, but then you said nothing," her voice was a little higher at the end for emphasis and lack of control of her voice. She covered her face with one hand that was remaining. She felt like she was complaining about everything, but it had worried her even more.

Perhaps she should apologize for being impatient with him, but she didn't think she needed to apologize for not trusting him. He hadn't said anything helpful and he was in such a mess that even his thoughts were no help either. Perhaps she should apologize for everything. She didn't know. One part of her wanted to do whatever she could to keep him away from other girls. She wanted to do whatever she could to capture his interest without him getting distracted. She felt like she had failed. She just needed a few more moments for it to sink in, that her currrent worst fears hadn't come to pass.

He moved over to her side of the table, and she scooted closer to him. She began to cry again, relieved that nothing had happened. "I'm sorry, I was scared I was losing you," she sniveled. "I can't lose you, especially not like that. You're the only one I've let understand me. I'd be a freak anywhere else," her voice was shaking. It would be hard to, but it would have been even more painful losing him to Harper. Besides personal reasons, Harper couldn't make any guy happy beyond giving them a one night stay. Harper never cared for a guy, and Kai knew she wouldn't put in the time care and love that Kai did. Kai normally wasn't prideful, and with most she would have considered them serious competition, but Harper was a player. Eric would only get heartache if he did want to pursue her.

She hadn't realized how fragile their relationship was. It had taken very little for it to be shaken, and she realized she couldn't promise that he wouldn't lose her. She had no idea what the future held. She was curious about the way he had phrased it. He wouldn't succumb to any temptation, but her. Was he actively considering it? "I love you Eric," she managed through her tears. They had lessened some, and she began to wipe them away.

She looked up at him worried, "Am I doing something wrong?" Even though they were trying to fix things, she felt uneasy. Had she been doing something wrong all day, all of their relationship? Had she not been giving him enough physical affection? Did she not go far enough? Did she need to change her style of dress? "What would make you happy? What can I do?" Did he understand what she meant? She wanted to make him happy, but she also wanted to make sure that she captured his attention. She wanted his help to know how to do that.

She was nervous about saying this, but she wanted him to know, "I would do anything to make you happy." She might not be happy with herself afterwards, but she only wanted to make him happy. What if he actually could be happy with Harper? Could she really let go or was she selfish? She felt like she was having an irrational fear, but Harper's flirting had opened it up. "I'm sorry for being clingy," she apologized for another thing. "I should have trusted you. I should have been patient." Why did she feel so guilty and that something bad was going to happen?

She sort of hugged to his side, so that she could lean her face against his chest. She wrapped one of her arms around him pulling him close. She wanted to hug him close and beg him to never leave, however he said he was going nowhere, and she would lose a few more points of dignity if she permitted that. She knew she had to be the one to do make the first move, since she had pushed him away. He had already moved over to sit by her, and getting tears and snot on his shirt could hardly count as making a move back.

Kai didn't feel like a natural flirt, and after bawling her eyes out, she had never felt less like it. She tried to give him a smile that was a weak imitation of Harper's. Since it didn't feel right, she stopped. She let her gaze flicker between Eric's mouth and his eyes gauging his mood. Was she moving too fast? Was she being too obviously desperate and insecure? She knew that physical intimacy helped a lot of things, but was this the appropriate time?

Carefully, she leaned forward pressing into him. Gently, she removed her hand from his and kept one hand on his chest, but let the other snake up to play with his hair. For a moment she sat there close trying to build up the tension, leaning into him. She gently stroked his face, with one hand, keeping their lips a few inches from each other. She kept on looking well into his eyes and then quite intently at his lips.

Carefully, when she found that he neither moved forward or back, she began to slide partially into his lap where he had the choice to pull her the rest of the way. She raised her head and gently kissed him on the jaw to the ear before trailing to his mouth. At first it was a timid apologetic kiss before she became a little more demanding like she was claiming him back. As if she were trying to prove that he was hers and not Harper's or anyone else's.

She broke up the kisses. In between she whispered I love you so softly that only he could hear it and her breath probably only tickled his neck. She stopped after a moment to look at her work, and leaned back slightly. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but she felt the pressure to learn how to flirt better. She wasn't sure the best way to learn, but she supposed she would start expermimenting even though it would be awkward.

Perhaps, that was her problem. She hadn't tried to work for his attention. Perhaps she had taken it for granted. Perhaps she needed to be more intentional about everything. Gently, she twirled his hair or her fingers lightly massaged his scalp. She needed him to reciprocate even though she hadn't earlier. She could feel her confidence unraveling all at once, wondering why she even dared think she would have any allure to him. She was leaning in to kiss him again, when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

She turned a little embarrassed that she was behaving like this in a public place. Luckily, the dinner was mostly empty, however, the waiter was here now. "I've been waiting to take your order," the waiter raised a brow skeptically at them. Kai felt embarrassed that she had forgotten to be considerate to everyone else, and it was obvious that the waiter had tried to wait, but she had taken her sweet time about it. She had only wanted to prove to someone, perhaps herself, that they were together, and they were fine. She edged off of Eric and looked at him to take the lead. She couldn't remember what they were here for. A semi private place. A place to eat. Did they just want drinks?

Eric had felt the strain she was giving when he took her hand, but he needed to see her face, and she needed to see his to know that he wasn't lying. He felt terrible for making her feel so bad, but everything had to be set straight. This couldn't be ignored. It just couldn't.

He began to explain, and he tried to keep a subtle gauge on her expressions. If he said something too blunt or straightforward he would adjust his words. She whispered painfully why he didn't tell her sooner, and he sighed quietly. "Kai I couldn't." he said quietly. He knew she would never understand the toll his anxiety took on him. She would never understand why he couldn't function when it flared up. "I really tried, I did. I tried to tell you but I couldn't. My brain just doesn't work right when I'm stressed and scared."

I need medication. he thought, looking down at the table for a second. I need pills. Dad never got them for me because he thought I was faking. He never got them because they were 'too expensive.' He never got them because 'they wouldn't help anything because they're just placebos.'

She asked why Harper kept doing this, and he didn't have an answer for that. Why was she doing this? He'd asked her the very same thing when she'd had him trapped. What answer did she give? None. None whatsoever. "I don't know." he said quietly. He listened as she spoke, feeling more and more guilty with every word she said. But he couldn't help it! He couldn't just magically make himself instantly calm when his anxiety flared up, that wasn't how it worked. He couldn't just automatically act like everything was fine when it wasn't.

"I'm sorry," Was all he could say right now, all he could manage as he listened. He could tell she was hurt, he knew he'd scared her and hurt her by his reactions to everything, but what could he have done different that was in his power? He tried as hard as he could to make sense of his thoughts, he'd tried so hard to give her answers to tell her what had happened, to calm her down to help her make sense of everything. But nothing had worked. Nothing had worked because his brain had been scattered, his emotions had been so high that nothing had made sense, even to him. How was he supposed to make sense of something so chaotic even to his own mind?

But he tried to put himself in her place. He had to try and understand her position too, even if she wasn't doing the same for him. He had to put himself in her situation. How would he have reacted if he saw her with Daniel and she hadn't pushed him away right away?

He moved to her side of the table and let out a breath as she scooted closer to him, relieved that she wasn't trying to stay as far away from him as possible. He listened to her, his heart dropping in his chest at her words but yet still happy that she loved him and didn't want to lose him. "Kailey you could never lose me to Harper." he told her firmly, brushing some hair out of her face and holding her close. "She isn't what I want. She's not you. I want you. And you aren't a freak. You could never be a freak." He wanted to tell her to stop beating herself up, but who was he to say that? That's ALL he did to himself. He was CONSTANTLY berating himself for everything he did, so what gave him the right to tell her to stop? She needed to get it all off of her chest. He didn't want to stop her from that release.

She told him that she loved him and he felt such a relief at hearing the words. "I love you too, Kailey." he whispered. She appeared as if she was starting to calm down a little, wiping her tears away. Eric reached over and pulled a napkin out of the small container and handed it to her so she could have something to wipe her face with instead of her hand or her sleeve. She looked up at him, her face full of worry, and the question that left her lips snapped his heart in two.

"No," he whispered, shock a slight frustration slipping through his otherwise loving tone. "No, no. Kailey, you're not doing anything wrong. Why...why would you ask-" He cut himself off as she continued to speak, and all he could do was shake his head in almost disbelief. His heart was breaking for her. Why would she ask him these things? Why was she feeling so useless? So helpless and unable to please him? He realized with a huge weight that he'd made her feel this way. He'd given her this unimaginable doubt and self breakage.

"Kailey you make me happy." he told her, his voice breaking with emotion, sadness for her very evident. His eyes were tearing up, but even still one could see the amount of love he had for her shimmering there too. "Please don't try to change yourself. I want you. I don't want anybody else, and I don't want you to change yourself for the sole purpose of trying to catch my attention." He brushed a thumb along her cheek and gave her a small smile. "You know why? Because you already have it. You already have my attention. You already have my heart. I'm not letting go, okay?"

His heart fluttered then dropped at her next words. I would do anything to make you happy...They echoed in his mind, and he swallowed, closing his eyes for a second before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He didn't know how to respond. He was wrestling with her words. Did she mean it? Would she actually do anything? Part of him was excited but the other part of him was very hurt. He didn't want her to become a "slave." He didn't want her to think that she had to do anything and everything he wanted to make him happy. That's not what he wanted at all. She as herself made him happy, he didn't need her to flaunt herself for him. That day would come eventually when they could go as far as they wanted together. But right now wasn't the time, it was too early. They weren't married, and they hadn't even been dating for THAT long.

"You don't need to say that," he whispered, brushing his nose against her cheek. It was all he could say right now, all he could muster. She apologized for being so clingy and he silently shook his head, his hand gripping hers tighter.

Don't be. he thought. Don't be sorry for loving me like you do. "You..had every right to be mad at me." he said quietly. "But I do need time when I get stressed. I do need patience from you." He wanted to be honest, and not feed her lies. When his anxiety flared like that, he NEEDED to have support. He needed to have time to get his thoughts in order, to get his pent up emotions released before he would be able to talk.

She scooted closer to him, leaning her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his side. He took the affection and made sure to scoot closer to her as well, holding her tight. He never wanted to lose her, and it had horrified him how close they had come today. What if she wouldn't have heard him out? What if he hadn't had time to release all of his emotions?

He caught her attempt at a smile, and it broke his heart. Why was she trying so hard? She didn't have to try so hard. He loved her for her, could she not see that? He didn't want a seductress like Harper for a girlfriend, he wanted Kailey.

"Kailey please," he whispered quietly, sending the message across that he didn't want her to try to be someone she wasn't. He didn't want her to try and change herself for him, because she already had everything he wanted. He felt mind kind of slip into a slightly dazed phase as she pressed closer and ran her fingers through his hair. Part of him was longing to kiss her, but he was still aware that they were in a pretty public place. While not many people were seated next or around them, the waiters and waitresses still passed by every now and then.

He could feel himself slipping into a sort of entranced state as she moved closer still, looking into his face. She moved closer still sliding partially onto his lap, and he felt his heart accelerate ever so slightly. What was that tingling running down his spine? The buzzing in his chest? Without really thinking, he slid one hand onto her thigh and cupped it slightly under her knee, pulling her a little further onto his lap but not all the way. Her first kiss on his jaw made any sort of tension in his body instantly vanish, and he closed his eyes, letting out a breath through his nose.

At first her kisses were light, trailing along until she finally reached his lips. Her whispered words had sent another shiver down his spine, raising the hair on his neck and arms. His heart was beating steadily in his chest, his worries slowly fading away the more entranced he became. He was now only slightly aware of their surroundings. Normally, he would be VERY uncomfortable with this in a public place, but she'd caught him up and he couldn't focus on anything but her.

As her kisses became more demanding, a soft moan almost escaped from him, but he held it back, reciprocating what she was giving to him. He pulled her another few inches onto his lap, sliding his hands around to her back so he could stable her better. Reality slowly started to seep back in, and he broke up the kisses very briefly a couple different times saying,

"Kailey, Kailey." He was trying to get her to slow down, to calm down. She was getting him excited and he was starting to realize once again that they were in a public place. This wasn't the place or the time to be doing this. He was making an effort to stop, he was trying. But at the same time he didn't want to. He didn't want to because it felt good, he didn't want to because he wanted her to be happy and feel good about herself. He wanted to keep going so she knew that she made him happier than anyone else, and that he was hers as long as she'd have him.

Finally, she pulled away on her own accord and he pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes for a moment. He ran his hands up her back until he could place them on the sides of her face. He moved his forehead away from hers, lightly and slowly kissing her jaw next to her ear. He ran his hands back down her arms and pulled away slightly, only to have her lean in again for another kiss. But the sound of someone clearing their throat snapped him out of any sort of entranced state he had been in previously.

Kai slowly slipped off of his lap and looked to him expectantly. Eric cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the waiter. "Apologies," he said, swallowing. He asked Kai what she wanted to drink and he ordered for her. He figured it would probably be best if they ate something now, simply because they had originally planned to eat here in the first place, so while they were here they might as well.

After asking her what she wanted, he ordered for both them and thanked the waiter, shifting in his seat a little. He was slightly embarrassed about being seen having a moment with Kai, but part of him was glad that they'd had it. Things would get better after this, surely. Things were getting fixed.

"You got quite the nerve, Kai." He playfully scolded her after the waiter was gone. He gave her a smile and nudged her shoulder gently. "I guess being in public doesn't bother you anymore huh?" He slipped his hand into hers so she would know for sure that he wasn't scolding her, he was just lightly teasing. He waited a few seconds before resting his head on hers and saying softly,

"I only want you Kailey. Nothing's ever going to change that."

Guilt was roiling around in her stomach, and she felt sickened. She tried to make herself feel better by pointing out that even though Eric hadn't done anything, it was something she would want to keep in mind for the future. Even the best intentions could fail. Unless Harper had told Eric, why she did what she did, which she seriously doubted it, Kai would probably have a better idea than Eric, since she could read minds. He confirmed her theory, that he didn't know either. She felt her own anxiety rising. Why was her worth and confidence suddenly shattered?

She was acting like this over an attempt. Would she be able to handle it, if someone had actually cheated on her? She felt affronted that he thought he had to act like everything was all right. Managing an explanation was different than acting like everything was fine. While she still wanted him to say something more, and explain in more detail just saying nothing happened was what she had been looking for. That wasn't that many words. How hard would that have been? She would have calmed down most likely. She would have been more willing to wait for a more in depth description, because she knew that the end wasn't bad, and it would have kept things from escalating. Those two little words might have helped. It might have been able to keep this awful nagging worry away.

She knew that she was being unfair. She had no idea if things would have turned out differently. Some part of her thought she deserved an apology, and she wanted it. Some part of her thought that the apology she got was what she deserved, but at the same time, she felt guilty and it was all of her fault. He didn't need to be apologizing to her. It wasn't his fault, and she was the one leaping to assumptions. How would Eric have reacted, if she was the one speechless? Would he have been as scared as she was? She wondered how Eric would react, if she didn't push Daniel immediately away. She supposed it was unfair of her. They had had a little view of it, even though they hadn't officially been together.

When Daniel had kissed her at prom, it had taken her a moment to take action, and truthfully, she hadn't been sure how to react. She could feel his relief, that she had moved towards him. She was feeling miserable, but she still naturally went to him for comfort. She tried to be reassured, but now she had this dread that someone would be alluring enough to seduce Eric away from her. She didn't know if her mind powers worked for her or against her, but for someone who was used to their thoughts being private to continue to spend time with her, took a brave person. Why would Eric want her? What did she offer that someone else couldn't give?

She remembered that it had been her looks that captured his attention. It was slightly encouraging to her, and made her feel less like she needed to try hard. It had been her personality and character that had caused him to stay around a while. Where had all of these fears come from? She had never been aware of them before. She reminded herself that she stuck around. Not many people in Eric's life had done that? Had she done anything else that could be considered special? Even though she believed Eric about Harper, there could definitely be someone else out there.

She disagreed with him about being a freak. She had never met someone else like her. There were almost 8 billion people in the world, and she wasn't sure if there was another one with her abilities. She wondered if there was anyone else like her. She was normally able to push this to the side, since she didn't have anyone except Eric who knew, but it was her worst fear that everyone would know about her, and she would become a shunned outcast. She didn't want to be identified as the freak, that everyone tried to keep far enough away that she couldn't read their minds. She wouldn't be able to go anywhere. It was one of the reasons that no one else knew, and sometimes she did struggle with Eric knowing about it. She also always had the struggle that she was lying to everyone. Nobody except for Eric knew, and she had been keeping this secret for a longtime. It could become quite the heavy burden.

"What else can you call a girl who is aware of other's thoughts and feelings? Aren't you ever scared of me? Don't you ever get tired of me being able to read your thoughts and feelings?" she asked him. She felt bad for putting him on the spot like this. Later when they were in private, she would open this conversation again. For some reason, it had never occured to her to tell him about this burden. While they were opening up, it would be a good idea to mention it. Whenever he tried to keep his thoughts from her it either made her suspicious or she was only now realizing she felt hurt and unaccepted. It was unfair on her part, and she realized that. She could hide her thoughts from him, but it still made her afraid, that he didn't like her. She wouldn't like it if someone could read her thoughts with impunity, so she couldn't expect anyone else to be understanding.

She was working herself up so much her teeth began to hurt. She tried to calm down and get over it. She appreciated having something besides her hand to wipe her face with after Eric gave her a napkin. She knew it was different that Eric had wanted more physical intimacy with her, but she wasn't sure if this had anything to do with it. She wanted to make sure he was happy. She hadn't had a reason to doubt them or herself before. She was also feeling embarrassed that she felt like that. His voice sounded like he was so sad for her. She tried to hold on to that and really understand that she had him, and he wasn't going anywhere, but a black mindless fear was all that came of it. When she said that she would do anything to make him happy, she could tell he thought she was moving too quickly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be patient for you. I'm sorry I was too wrapped up in my own feelings. I'm sorry I was too selfish," it brought on a fresh wave of tears. She was messing things up continuously. She felt like her mind reading powers were useless, if she didn't understand Eric better than this. She should have known. She was confused what she thought she needed to change into. She knew it wasn't necessary to constantly be a flirt, but she felt like she had to do something after that. What had Eric done? After Daniel he had been comforting her, and she hadn't done that for him. He had kissed her to show her the difference, which was why she felt like he would understand her next move. She needed them to see the difference. She needed to know that she could entice him the way Harper had or more.

How could their relationship be so easily off track? Kailey didn't really think she could keep up a pretense. It would take a lot out of her, and she wasn't a natural liar. She supposed it would help her be more intentional. She felt one side of her confused. She wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing, or if she was pushing things too far. At the same time, she was feeling a satisfaction that she was distracting him in a similar way. It didn't seem to be quite as strong as it had been with Harper. It was helping her regain some of her confidence, but she was scared she wasn't doing it right.

She let everyone around them meld into the background. She forgot about them, because it would have interrupted her. She needed this proof. For a while, she had him unbothered by their surroundings. When he started trying to calm things, she gradually realized where they were and how she didn't want to be that couple. Kai felt the end had been abruptly cut off, and she still felt like a basket case. She wanted Eric to take the lead. She didn't have the motivation. Even though she was normally the outgoing one, she didn't feel like trying to talk to the waiter.

She gave a weak smile after the waiter was gone, and Eric teased her. She shrugged, "I think I just needed it." She leaned her head against him, while she waited for the food to come. Her eyes became concerned and rounded as she remembered how inconsiderate she had been again. She kept on making these kinds of mistakes. "Were....were you okay with it?" she tentatively asked realizing she hadn't asked him. She had been too wrapped up in her own feelings again to care what he wanted. She felt guilt gnawing at her again. Why did she keep doing this? She pasted a smile on her face, "Well, you did something like that, but of course you did take me off to a more private corner," she had to acknowledge.

"Whose car do you want to take? I'm done here, and I think I just want some privacy to talk," she told him. She wanted to sort through her feelings. She wanted to figure out why she felt the way she did, and how she could stop it. "I love you Eric," was all she said in response. It covered all of the bases. "Thanks for ordering," she managed a more genuine smile, "It was delicious." Once they were done eating, she thought she had had more time to sort through her thoughts. They paid, and she followed him to whichever car he wanted to go in. She felt bad for ditching their friends, but after the scene, she was sure they would understand that they had things they needed to sort out.

Once they were safely in private and comfortable, words spilled out of her, "I hate the way I'm feeling. I feel guilty and that I did something wrong. I didn't think I was so insecure, and I don't know where this is all stemming from," she began her voice worried. "I'm not sure how much I should give into it. I'm not sure what I should do," her voice broke a little. She felt a few tears slip down her tears, but she wasn't super emotional about it, and they soon ceased. She hoped he didn't have anything he really wanted to talk about right now, because she was pouring at her own worries.

"I'm also behaving really selfishly, and I feel like I am being overly dramatic or controlling. Sometimes, I feel like I can subtly accidentally manipulate people to feel sorry for me, and I feel like any type of manipulations are wrong, but I prefer people to be sorry for me than mad at me. I also struggle being the only person I know who has my ability. I wouldn't want someone reading my mind, but I have to justify it, when I do it. I don't go peering into everyone's minds, but I can't avoid hearing them. I can't ever tell anyone else about it. I never meant to tell anyone, and it's a huge secret that I've been keeping all of my life. I...I'm scared that you're scared of me or that you will get tired of it, especially, if you have something you didn't want me to see."

She hadn't meant to blurt some of that stuff out, and it had been unexpected. She had her head downcast. What if eventually she was married and Eric was married to someone else. What if she was constantly having to go to him and keep up the friendship just so she had someone she could talk to about her ability. "I'm sorry for spilling that all on you. Was there something you wanted to talk about?" she asked. She wanted to get it all out there. They could tackle each thing one at a time, but she wanted to make sure that they had a list of things they needed to talk about.

She quickly retorted his comment about her not being a freak, and he felt slightly hurt that she was using that word. Yes, her ability was unusual, rare, and she could very well be the only person on the planet who could do what she did. But he found it hard to believe that she was the only one. If she had this power, wasn't it likely that at LEAST one other person had it, too? The planet is covered with life, and human life is no exception. Her power had to come from somewhere, right? Maybe it was a very rare genetic thing. He knew the word freak was described as something unusual like Kai's case, but it had a very negative connotation, and he didn't like that.

She wasn't a freak. She was rare. She put him on the spot, questions leaving her mouth about her ability and what he thought about it. "I call you a special rarity." he answered, his tone ever so slightly annoyed with a hint of desperation. No annoyance whatsoever directed at her, but simply at the situation and notion of thinking. "Not a freak. You aren't a freak." He was surprised at how worked up he was getting over it, his chest billowing softly with anger at how badly she thought of herself. Perhaps it was because he was in a near constant state of self doubt, low self esteem, constantly berating himself over everything. He knew what that was like, and he didn't want that for anyone else. Especially not Kai. She was the one who was always there as a light. She was a light to his darkness, but her light in this moment was flickering, dimming. It hurt him to see her hurt. It hurt him to see her feeling like he felt almost every day.

"Of course I'm not scared of you, Kai." he told her. "If I was scared of you, I don't think I would be dating you. If I was scared of you I don't think I would have tried to put an effort into our friendship. I mean, when I first found out at school it made me a bit nervous. But...not the fact that you could read minds, really. It was the fact that I'd been caught, and I was scared that you'd yell at me." He kind of chuckled, remembering the start of everything.

He hadn't even been fully aware that she could factually read minds at that point, he'd been in a state of absolute confusion towards her ability. He'd only booked it out of the classroom because he'd been caught. He'd already been nervous enough around her being as that she was his crush. But as soon as her attention had been directed towards him, he'd tried to flee. He'd known of the punishment he would recieve upon being late home from school, he'd been aware of Gunner needing to be let out, he didn't like confrontations, he had been socially awkward, he'd been afraid of being yelled at or hit, AND he'd been chased down by someone he'd tried to avoid most of his school years because he'd been too shy to ever speak a word to her. So no. Her mind reading did NOT scare him. It never had.

"I don't get tired of you being able to read my emotions and thoughts." he answered again. "It's something you can't help very much, especially when we're so close. Do I try to keep some things private? Yes. But do I care too much if you manage to hear them? Not really. There may be situations later in life where yes, it may effect how I feel if I know you'd seen something from my mind. But as of now, and for most of the situations I see Kailey...you don't have to worry about that."

The entire time he had answered, his voice was quiet for fear of someone overhearing, and for the most part it was calm and loving too. But there were hints of desperation at points, along with emphasis on many of the words he said, for he was trying to get it through to her that he loved her for her. She possessed an unusual ability. So what? Did that stop him from caring about her? Did that stop him from being her friend? Did that stop him from loving her more than he loved anyone else in the world?

No.

No it didn't.

He loved her just as much, if not more, than what he would have if she had been born without telepathy.

She began to spout out a wave of apologies, and he felt some sort of relief that she was doing so. He'd aplogized to her for his hesitation and his inability to speak, and she was apologizing now for her treatment of him and reactions to it. But he still felt bad for her. He shook his head softly, waiting until she was done before he spoke. "It's okay." he whispered, his voice back to being completely soothing. "It's okay, we'll talk about it." He was meaning that he'd have to open up a bit more about his anxiety and what that entailed, so next time an attack happened she would know how to react. But he could do that later, now wasn't the time.

He'd felt a little like she was rushing things when she'd kissed him, but it wasn't exactly because of that. He'd only felt that way because they were in public, which hightened his awareness and made everything seem to go a bit faster. The kiss in and of intself was great, and every time they kissed he felt an electric pulse run through him with each beat of his heart, as if each kiss was just as exciting as the first. But being so blatantly in public had made him more aware than he usually was, and it had affected the way he reciprocated.

Not in a bad way, really, but he hadn't gone as long or as passionate as he'd wanted to or normally did, nervous about being spotted by others. Even though they were together now and had every right to do so, it still made him feel like he'd been caught doing something wrong when he was caught kissing her.

After the waiter was gone, she said softly that she'd just needed the moment in response to his tease. His smile softened and he rested his head on hers as she leaned against him. His hand snaked down her forearm and he entwined his fingers with hers, another way of having contact. She soon asked if he was okay with it, her voice sounding a bit nervous and tentative. His expression stayed calm, and his voice stayed quiet as he answered her.

"Always," he whispered, leaning down a little and brushing noses with her before locking his lips with hers in a gentle kiss to prove it. She smiled as she spoke next, and so did he, happy to see that she was at least trying to make an effort to feel a little better. Maybe it was only for his sake, but he was glad to see her smile. "Private corners do wonders." He said back in a light flirty tone before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.

She asked him whose car they wanted to take, and he shrugged. Either way, they'd have to drive separate to go home or meet up with anyone. They could sit in one together in the parking lot and talk, but she'd still have to drive hers separately when it came time to leave the diner. "We can talk in mine if you'd like." he answered. "Love you too." he responded. She thanked him for ordering, and he nodded. Once they were done eating, he paid for both of their meals and led the way out of the doors, heading to his car.

He unlocked it for her and soon they were sitting inside. The air in here felt as if it was becoming heavy again, and he braced himself for what would probably be another emotional tidal wave. She began to speak, spilling out everything that was on her mind, and he listened quietly with patience. He was a far better listener than he was a speaker, and he was more observant than most. He took in what she was saying, processing it and trying to make sense of it in the way she did so he could try and understand her troubles better.

Before his trip to the hospital, Eric had always been a good listener. But after temporarily losing his memory, and having those sudden flares of immense pain, he slowly became more of an obsever and analyzer, taking information and storing it away as some sort of subconscious need. He subconsciously feared losing his memory again, feared losing everything like he had before. So he took things in deeper now than he had before, stored it away deep in his mind.

When she was completely done, he sat for a second or two in silence with her, holding one of her hands in his. He'd reached across and took it when she had started to cry, as a sort of comfort and reassurance. He was thinking, his mind sorting through everything that she had told him, tossing some files in the back that he could speak about later, and pulling out the ones that were most important, that he felt he needed to address first.

"I'm really glad you told me," he said softly, running his thumb along the side of her hand, his gaze on the armrest between the seats as he thought. "First off...I respect you a lot for even daring to tell me about your telepathy from the very beginning. Maybe it was just because you were frightened that I would jump to conclusions and make a big deal of it, I don't know. But you still did. You still told me. You answered any questions I had, and...you told me. You entrusted me with this secret you've kept so long." He looked up at her, his eyes shimmering in the afternoon sun that peered through the windshield.

"So this struggle you have, this feeling of having to justify everything you do...you don't have to feel that way with me." He gave her a small small, squeezing her hand lightly. "I can't help the way you feel around everyone else because they don't know. Obviously you can't go around telling everyone. But I know. I know, and maybe it will lighten your load to know that I'm not afraid of you. That I don't get irritated or tired of you being able to hear what I'm thinking. You can't...really control that. The only time I'd want my thoughts to myself is if there is something extremely personal going on that I'm not ready to talk about yet, or I want to surprise you. But Kailey I don't try to keep my thoughts hidden from you. Because I trust you. I trust you, I love you, and I don't want to have to hide anything."

Now that that was said, he thought back to the other things she told him that he'd put away, reaching and pulling them out so he could address that too.

"I don't think you did anything wrong." he said slowly, thinking back to one of the first things she's blurted out. "I think there was potential for both of us to have reacted better than we did. I shouldn't have let my body get the best of me, and I think you could have probably given me a bit more time to get my anxiety down before...accusing." He bit his lip, hoping that didn't come out sounding mean. He hadn't meant it to. He didn't want to sugar coat anything. He wanted to be up front and honest with her.

"Feeling insecure isn't fun," he agreed with her from earlier, now pulling out that file. "I deal with it every day. Don't give in to it. Trust me. It will only lead you down the same path it did me. I don't want that for you, I don't want you to have to deal with this pressing anxiety. I want you to be happy." He lifted his free hand and brushed a finger along her cheek, giving her a loving smile. "I like seeing you smile." he told her softly. "As for you thinking that you're being over dramatic or...controlling...I don't think so. You're just expressing what you're feeling, that's all. We both just need to work on some things to keep stuff from blowing out of proportion."

He thought he had covered everything, and she asked him if there was anything he needed to talk about. He knew he needed to tell her about his anxiety and how she should deal with it, but he figured that could wait a bit longer. He didn't want to bring it up right now, and talking about it would make him nervous, twitchy and anxious. He was calm now, he didn't want to get worked up again. It was exhausting, going through an attack like that. Both mentally and physically draining.

"No." he said quietly. "Nothing right now." His gaze softened at her apology, to which he answered, "Don't be sorry." His voice had dropped to a whisper, and he was leaning closer to her now than he had been before, one hand lifting her chin gently while the other held her own. They weren't in blaring public anymore, they'd talked about things, and he wanted to continue where they'd left off inside, to show her that she still captured his attention and his heart. She didn't need to try and be someone else. She didn't need to "up her game." She just needed to be her.

Kailey.

Kailey Adair.

The girl he'd crushed on since 8th grade because she was pretty.

The girl who he'd fallen in love with from the very point of actually meeting her for who she was. She wasn't just some pretty face. Yes, she had looks that captured his attention, but her heart was big and her personality was everything he liked. They weren't complete opposites, but there were enough qualities in her that were strikingly different than his own, which he liked. Parts of her completed him. Parts of her filled the empty spaces he had within himself. Nobody he'd ever met had done that. Not that he had much experience, but she seemed to fit so nicely.

He pressed his lips softly to hers, gentle and easy at first and gradually becoming a bit more possessive, just as she'd done him in the diner. He couldn't hold her as close to him as he wanted, because of the steering wheel and the arm rest that sat between them, but it would simply have to do.

Eric took a slow deep breath in at her questions, trying to think calmly for an answer. What if he didn't have one for her? What if he couldn't satisfy or calm these new worries of hers? Or at least, worries of hers that she was telling him about. He didn't know how new they really were. Had he been the sole cause of them? Or had it been going on for awhile and she simply was just now telling him about them? Either was a possibility, and he wasn't sure which one exactly that he preferred.

He was flattered that she was asking him questions about her potential future children, but he was by no means qualified to answer them. He was a far cry from her husband, even though he did want that for them someday. And even if he WAS he STILL wasn't qualified to answer her questions because how on earth was he supposed to know her feelings? How was he supposed to know if she was willing to take that risk?

"Kailey I'm really not sure how to answer that," he said honestly after a moment, his voice soft and gentle, no hint of unkindess at all. He just sounded tired and confused, and a bit wary of their surroundings. He was surprised at how openly she was talking about this in public, where any passerby could hear. Any waiter or waitress, any passing guests. But he didn't want to silence her, she needed to get things off of her chest.

"Trust me I know how anxiety can effect people," he said in response to her stunned comment about how she was worrying so much over something she should have had a long time to think about. He kept casting subtle nervous glances around the diner, keeping a lookout for anyone who may be trying to listen in. It came as a small shock to him how she was acting towards him. He knew she was upset, confused, and hurt, but did that give her an excuse to be near hostile towards him? She seemed very defensive, and he was feeling a bit like a stray dog again. A dog who could do nothing but shy away from human contact because his faith and trust in them was weakened. He didn't like it that he was getting that feeling sitting here with her right now.

Normally she gave off such a comforting, personable, funny, loving, caring vibe. But she was on the defensive today it seemed, her quills pricked and ready to poke and jab if he got too close. What had he done? He hadn't actively pursued Harper, he'd ducked out of her kiss. He hadn't abandoned her when things got rough, he'd gotten up the will to come here and talk things out with her. Because he cared. He loved her. He wanted them to work out. This small speedbump was beginning to look like a huge pothole, and it scared him.

Even as she apologized, it still felt tight and enclosed. He tried to reach out his heart to her in a way he hadn't tried too often before. He tried to really understand her emotions and feelings in this moment, but it was hard. He thought differently than her, he was a different sex and different human being than her, and he didn't have telepathy. He didn't bear the ability she did. It wasn't easy to look into her mind, he couldn't pull out a thought at random from her like she could him. He couldn't feel her emotions as strongly as she could him because he just didn't possess that ability.

In this moment he essentially felt useless. But did he say anything about it? No. Did he think too much about it? No. Did he try and hint at it? No. Not once. Because this wasn't about him. This was about her right now. She needed this time to talk. Her sharp look made him want to cower at her. What was he doing wrong? He was just talking. He was just telling her how he felt, reassuring her that she wasn't a freak. What was wrong with that?

Her following words and scenerio actually did cause a small flare of anger to rise in him. How could she say that? How could she assume that? Why was she making things so difficult? Was she deliberately going out of her way to make them split apart? Why was she questioning his loyalty? He'd tried his best to prove to her that he loved her, that he was loyal. Did she just flat out not believe him?

"Kai..." he whispered, his tone hurt, sadness slipping through his voice. He couldn't find any words to respond to that with, so he just sat quietly, not wanting to dwell on it. He didn't need to start any more fires. She said she felt like she'd gone off the deep end, and he couldn't help but silently agree. He really was trying to see her point of view but for the first time he just...couldn't. She was acting so different than she normally was, and for the first time ever she'd really hurt him. His chest felt like she'd sliced a blade through it.

"I give you something you think you need, so you stay by me even though you know something isn't right." Her words continued to echo through his mind, continued to push negative thoughts and doubts inside of him. Did she really think that of him? Did she really think he was just some needy baby with a twisted sense of love? Was he that much of a burden on her? If that was the case, he could make it a hell of a lot easier on her and just leave. If she was that upset, and if she was trying this hard to prove his love for her wrong, then maybe she in all truth was done. Maybe she didn't want to be with him anymore. She gave him a weak smile and he tried to return it, but he was unable to. He was starting to look more and more like the boy he was when they'd first met. Torn up and battered on the inside, confused, and scared of the world around him. His facial expression had slipped back into the solemn expression it had always had years prior, the very same expression that had been a key feature in scaring people away because he looked too serious. His blue eyes had momentarily lost their glimmer, and he didn't even know what to think anymore. Had he made a mistake with Kai? He had been so sure. He'd been so happy with her. She made him happy, and he liked to think that he made her happy too. But now it was starting to look like maybe he wasn't. Maybe he wasn't what she wanted.

Another knife was stabbed into him from her as she questioned his next answer. He didn't know how to make her see that he was being honest. Wasn't she supposed to know? Wasn't she the one with the mind reading powers? Couldn't she see that he was being honest? That he wasn't hiding things from her? All of these worries and doubts, the small anger, on top of being in public were among the reasons he wasn't reciprocating her kiss as well as he normally did. He was confused and in small emotional turmoil. Who was this girl sitting next to him? She wasn't acting like the Kailey he'd fallen in love with. But did he still love her?

Of course.

Of course he still loved her. She'd hurt him, she'd hurt him with her words, her expressions, but he wasn't giving up. One fight wasn't going to chase him away. He would bounce back, and he would keep trying to be her support. He would keep listening to her, he would try his best to answer her questions. But he wasn't sugarcoating the fact that he was hurt by her statements. He didn't try to hide his pain from her, but he didn't try to amplify it either. He wasn't just going to smile and pretend like everything was okay with her, because it wasn't. He may do that right now, because they were in a public place. But eventually they wouldn't be, and if the time felt right he would tell her how he felt. But it shouldn't be discussed here. A lot of this they shouldn't be discussing here. It was too risky and too baring.

After awhile though, his small amount anger faded, and the sadness over her hurtful comment dissipated. But he could still feel that small flare of pain, adding another layer to all the other hidden pains he had within himself. His mother's sickness, his brother's death, his mother's death, his father's downfall, his torn relationship with Summer, every rumor that's ever been spread, every punch, every nasty word slung his way. It was all buried deep beneath the surface, only letting loose when someone hurt him again. Something he never thought would happen had happened. His naive way of thinking had been sharply smacked, because now something Kailey had said was a layer of pain hidden within.

He knew every couple had their fights, but he hadn't been expecting theirs to happen so soon. Part of him had been naive in thinking that perhaps they wouldn't fight. He'd felt so happy with her. Everything felt so right. But not in this moment. It felt just slightly off, as if this was some sort of nightmare and he would be waking up soon.

But by the time they made it to his car, he had pushed all negative emotions from himself deep, deep, deep inside, the way he did everytime he was hurt. The way he did at school when people passed by laughing, snickering, or shooting him dirty looks. The way he had at school when someone would walk by and purposefully knock into him or pull on his bag to make him stumble. The way he had at home.

With every hit.

Every punch.

Every scornful word.

It was all deep inside now, and he could focus on what he needed to do, how he needed to react to Kai. He shouldn't mix his own emotions in with hers. He needed to be that strong wall, that tower. The one for her to lean on, the one to provide answers to her questions. To be the comfort she needed. He hadn't realized how much effort and work one had to put into a relationship. It was tiring, but he wasn't giving up. They were both new at this, and he loved her more than anyone else in this god forsaken world. So he would try his hardest to make it work.

At the end of their talk, she said quietly that there were few people without insecurities, and he gave her a small but somewhat sly look, the glimmer in his eyes finally returning. Was she finally feeling his emotions now? Was she understanding that that's what he did? That he pushed everything negative deep inside himself so that others couldn't see the pain? So he wouldn't have to deal with it?

He was weak.

He wasn't strong enough to deal with all the pain that had built up over the years. "I know," he said quietly in response. "I know." He could tell that she wasn't as into this kiss as she had been before, and it hurt a little bit, but he didn't let it stop him. There could be reasons for that, like the same sort of reasons that he'd had in the diner. But he at least had proven his point.

She asked him what he wanted to do, and he shifted, leaning up against his car door. "I mean...I know what I want to do. But it isn't exactly what we need to do right now." He rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the tension that had built up in them. "I know your friends are worried about you." he told her, his voice dropping a little. "As much as I just want to go home, I think we should probably meet up with your friends and continue our plans with them. They'll be worried and they'll....want to know what happened and if everything's okay." A thought crossed his mind and he tilted his head.

"So what about the car situation?" he asked. "Do you want to leave your car locked and parked here and ride with me? Then come back and you drive it home later or vice versa? Or just go ahead and drive separately now?" It didn't really matter to him either way, but he wanted to know what she would like to do.