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Esta Haron / 24 / Female / Lesbian / Healer / M: All Ambrose Alinsky / 26 / Male / Graysexual Panromantic / Traveler / M: All Agnar Solefair / 22 / Male / Homosexual / M: All Karma Bravo / 25 / Nonbinary / Pansexual / M: All Isabella Finley / 25 / Female / Bisexual / M: All “I’m quite alright, Star. How are you doing though, Cosmic Goddess of ours?” Esta's cheeks turned light pink at Salen's nickname and Isabella grinned brightly at the flustered expression. "Um, I'm okay, thanks." The healer replied softly, smiling a little. "Good, good, because we love ya too much for you to be sad! You're too absolutly stunning, so talk to us if you need something, m'kay? I couldn't deny my princesses anything if I tried." The pink turned to crimson and Isa giggled, lightly booping Esta's nose. The shorter girl swatted the hand away lightly and rested her cheek on Salen's head. How she fell for this flirtatious idiot, she wasn't sure she'd ever understand, but at the same time, she didn't regret it a bit. At least, not in the moment. All the worry and anxiety temporarily slipped away in the warm presence of her girlfriends and Esta allowed herself a real smile. "Yeah, okay. Sorry for pushing you away earlier, Isa. I didn't mean it, I was just thinking about some past events." She chuckled slightly and avoided eye contact. "I'm alright now though, thanks to you both. Oh, and I love you too, the both of you." The second in command bobbed her head happily. "Good, now, cuddle time!" And she tackled them both for the second time, a bit more careful this time, so she didn't hurt either, but still just as energetic. --- Karma silently held onto the emotion in Ambrose's words for a moment, hand still lightly gripping the traveler's. The odd thing was, however, that Karma hadn't really heard any of the actual words that were spoken, the only thing that they really listened to was the tone. The emotion. The song. That's what it sounded like. A sad song, one of mourning. Karma wasn't sure what could have caused such a deep rooted emotion, but it captivated them. Not because they actually cared about it's origin, but rather because it had been so long since they'd felt something so deep. Every emotion that they'd felt for years was shallow. Usually anxiety or anger, occationally annoyance or pain. But this? This was different. This was real, and it was fascinating. This was also the reason Karma was so drawn to Ambrose's songs, and his power, because, when activated, it made them feel again. Really feel, not just a simple panic attack that lasted for only a few minutes or a few hours and was never really deep, but rather consuming. Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, the emotions were dangerous, but, when you'd walked around like a hopeless, empty husk as long as Karma had, feel nothing, any emotion was new and exciting, a welcome change. A needed change. And then Illon spoke... Well, kinda. They more so snapped. Karma's head tilted away from Ambrose, breaking the eye contact to focus on the new tone. This was music too, but a different kind. It was still deep, still a little sad, but there was anger too, frustration and fear. Karma smiled, pulling their hand away from the traveler and sitting back. An odd calm had settled in their chest, and their eyes were unfocused and unseeing. Anyone who saw them now might rightfully call them insane, but they couldn't help it. This was music and emotion that Karma hadn't alllowed into their broken, scattered mind for a very long time, and in their more vulnerable state of post-panic attacks and flashbacks, their mind easily took in the emotion and let it settle into their bones. They could feel. It was only temporary, Karma new, only a very small portion of time that this would stay, but it was there. Emotions that had been repressed and lost, they came up, and they ached. It hurt, and Karma loved it. - “Then leave. If you know you can’t even help by just being there, then leave. I don’t want your pity. Maybe Karma does, but I don’t. I don’t need it. I get enough of it from everyone else. So unless you have something that’s actually helpful to offer, just leave. I’ve dealt with being by myself for plenty, that isn’t going to change just because of some stupid, insignificant, tiny excuse! I don’t need you, and even if I did, it’s only because I failed figuring it out on my own the first fifty times!" Ambrose's heart dropped at those words and he swallowed hard. He knew Illon didn't mean it, or, maybe they did, but that was okay, they were just letting out pint up emotions, so it was fine. They needed this. Ambrose could take it. Right? "Oh, oh- And that whole meaningless spiel on not expecting shit from us? Fuck off! I’m plenty capable of answering anything you ask! Don’t just undermine my intelligence because you think- What? That I’m fragile?! I’m not! Or what, did you forget that I have Agnar fucking tied for kills!? Seriously! If you’re not even gonna acknowledge the stuff I am capable of then you’re just as bad as the ones with insanely high standards! Only instead of actually believing in me to the point of thinking those standards aren’t high, you can’t even be bothered to believe I can do the simplest of shit! What’s next, huh? Gonna tell me that I don’t even know what two plus two is!?” Ambrose opened his mouth, prepared to contridict with a carefully worded reply, but Illon didn't allow it, holding up a hand. Ambrose closed his mouth again and fought against tears, allowing Illon to say what they needed. “No! I’m not done yet! You can act all high and mighty all you want but again you came in here because you felt like shit! Not because of how I felt! Not because of how Karma felt! But because you felt terrible and you rely solely on ‘helping others’, which you can’t even do right apparently, to make yourself feel better! If you didn’t feel bad, would you have still come in here!? No! And I know that’s true because that’s how it used to be! I would feel like shit and no one would come in here except sometimes Esta! And we all know she won’t be doing that anymore ever again! Not when she has two amazing girlfriends that are just way better than me that need her, and probably need her more!” Ambrose wanted to protest, but he couldn't. He wanted to believe that Illon didn't mean any of it, but he was also aware that they probably did. It made since. Of course, it did. Because Ambrose was failing. He wasn't enough. He was just making things worse. And who was he to say what Esta was going to do? There was no way he could possibly know what the healer was going to do, even though he very much wanted to point out that Esta was about the sweetest person in the world and wouldn't just leave someone she cared about behind. Not like Ambrose had. That thought caused the traveler to freeze up, and the first tear made it's way down his cheek. He just wanted to help. “But that’s beside the fucking point, right!? Because honestly, who cares about that! I knew what would happen! I knew from day one when Esta first told me she had feelings for the two! And then I helped her try and get them in any way someone as useless as me possibly could! But what did you do Ambrose?! Since you oh so love to help people?! Oh, wait, that’s right! Nothing! Because you only help people when you want to feel better about yourself! You only help people when you feel terrible because it means at least the person you helped may not think of you the way you think of yourself! Like you’re a worthless piece of shit that only does things for personal gain! Well, guess what!? I’m not falling for it! I’m not gonna have it! You wanna help so badly!? Then get the fuck outta my life! Or better yet, end it for me! That would be helpful! But oh wait, that’s right! You’re a fucking coward! Both of you are! You’d rather let me suffer through life than just get rid of the pain at the source! You’d rather talk to me and tell me that it’ll change and that I have people that care about me- As if I didn’t already know that! But here’s the thing, I don’t give a shit! Let me drag everyone down with my death, at least that’s not as long term as me dragging them down with me being alive! Being dead would be better for everyone! But, no, of course, you’re going to refuse me that! Aren’t you!? Because that’s how people fucking react! Because everyone’s too much of spineless cowards and selfish dicks to actually help people!” Ambrose sat frozen for a long moment, tears streaming down his cheeks. It hurt. It hurt so, so much. Too much. He couldn't breathe. He could barely think. What hurt the must is that Ambrose was scared that Illon might just be right. He'd always tried to help everyone else, he'd always tried to be a good person. But why? He did care, he really, really did. He hated seeing people hurt, but, at the same time, wasn't he just being selfish? Wasn't he selfish for how scared he was about losing those people? Wasn't it selfish to be so caught up in how others felt and what they did? The traveler's hands started to shake violently and he became suddenly all too aware of the fact that a panic attack was near. But he couldn't just... leave. He had to, he knew that. He couldn't let Illon see how much those words hurt him, but, wasn't leaving against everything he'd promised? No, he'd come back. He'd come back, and he'd apologise and everything would be fine. He could help. 'Selfish.' Ambrose visibly flinched and managed to force out a few words, hoping desperately that they didn't just make things worse. "Okay... I'm sorry." And then, very shakily, he managed to stand and walk out of Illon's tent for the second time that day. He went straight to his tent and disappeared, curling into a ball and pulling at his hair, sobbing as the intrusive thoughts and painful words overtook him. - Illon stopped talking... screaming, finally, and Karma listened as Ambrose's sad song ended on a shaky note, falling to the sword of anger. The emotions that this... argument? Or, whatever that thing that just happened was, had stirred inside Karma's gut, stirred confusingly. On one hand, they wanted to cry and let everything out as the tension weighed them down. On another, they wanted to scream as well, if only to join in and keep the emotions going. And they wanted to laugh, they weren't sure why, maybe just because it had been so long since they'd actually felt anything and it was all overwhelming and stimulating. They chose the last one. It started out as a kind of quiet chuckle, on that may even be mistaken as a sob, but, as the emotions bubbled up again, it quickly evolved into a loud cackle. Karma fell back, laying on the ground and clenching their stomach as they laughed, completely overwhelmed by everything, their mind fogged and unabale to fully make out the severity of what had just happened. Or that it was even severe at all. Honestly, it was terrifying. --- “Family is… Different for everyone, if I’m being honest. Just because that nice family on the screen is loving and kind and nice doesn’t mean every family will be that way. Or even show love that way. Some people show they care for their family by teasing them and then beating up strangers or friends that try to insult that same family member in front of them. And sometimes, a family can be cruel. Families should love one another, always, they can hate each other sometimes but they should always love one another despite it.” Agnar sniffed softly and wiped at his eyes, realizing how much he'd been crying with embarrassment. He nodded quietly in response to the words and listened carefully. “Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen either. Sometimes, the people who are supposed to be your family just… Suck. And sometimes, the people who aren’t your actual family are more of a family than your biological one. I know that for a fact. Either way, family is… Well, it’s different for everyone. There’s no wrong or right way to ‘do family’. Other than the basic rules of neglect and abuse being bad. Which is why I said you guys gotta figure out how to treat one another most effectively for you guys. Probably weren’t my exact words, but that was what I meant. Honestly, family is weird. It’s nice, when it’s good. But it can also be terrible. And painful. But you won't know what this family is gonna be unless you take that first risk.” "I see..." The ranger looked at the ground for a moment before looking up again. "Well, uh, I probably should have definitly not have just, like, spilled all that to a stranger, but I've never been great at keeping my mouth shut, sooo." He let out a forced chuckle. "Thank you," He said after a moment, kicking nervously at the ground. "For... explaining things. I guess it makes a little more sense now, so, I appreciate it. And, uh, I think I might try that risk thing, I've always been good at those." One of his normal, over-confident grins broke through. "Eni gets mad at me for it." |
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Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All, Joliqun!(Ind) Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All Agris ‘Blair’ Bairugih | 23 | Male | Gay | Turncoat | Mentions; Agnar(Dir), Amel(Ind), The Others(Even More Ind) -- “Um, I'm okay, thanks.” -- “Good, good, because we love ya too much for you to be sad! You're too absolutely stunning, so talk to us if you need something, m'kay? I couldn't deny my princesses anything if I tried.” -- Salen chuckled lightly, and shifted to make sure Esta was comfortable with her deciding to rest her cheek against her head. -- “Yeah, okay. Sorry for pushing you away earlier, Isa. I didn't mean it, I was just thinking about some past events. I'm alright now though, thanks to you both. Oh, and I love you too, the both of you.” -- “Good, now, cuddle time!” -- Salen grinned, a soft grin, and wrapped her own arms around her girlfriends too. They all probably needed this, if she were being honest. Everyone had been so tense lately, but she was sure it’d pass soon enough. Most things like that did. *~*~*~* Illon stood there, shaking and trying to pull the tears back in without acknowledging said tears. They stood there, waiting for the two to speak. Waiting for the part where the two said they hated Illon or argued back or screamed back or whatever it was they were going to do. -- Turns out, what they were going to do was something that Illon was not expecting. Though maybe they should’ve, given Ben had taken the first few arguments about the same… Wait, had he? Illon hadn’t thought the two had had any arguments before the one that had Benvolio leaving. Had the two fought before then? No! Of course not! Illon wouldn’t forget that! Either way, Ambrose spoke three little words that pushed almost all of their anger. And any left, was redirected. -- “Okay... I'm sorry.” -- And Ambrose left. Left. And wasn’t that what Illon had wanted?… They heard a quiet noise, and looked over to Karma. Karma, who had heard all of that and rightfully hated them and was… Laughing? Well, that was better than Ambrose’s defeat…… Not really. It hurt. Illon nudged them after it became clear they weren’t leaving. Illon wanted them gone too. If one left, both left. That was only fair. That was only what Illon deserved. -- So, Illon nudged them again and said, voice rather level for someone who had just screamed, “Get out, Karma.” -- At this point, Illon knew the scar had reopened, not that they could care about that right now. They didn’t deserve to. Once Karma left they could just take off the mask and deal with their shit themself. Like before. Again, they nudged Karma. “Get out, Karma. I don’t want you in here. Go away. Do I have to drag you? I’m not dragging you back to your tent if I do.” -- Illon waited for what was honestly probably not even five seconds before deciding they’d waited long enough. So, Illon grabbed Karma’s arm and pulled, the height difference made it a bit difficult but Illon still was used to having to drag metals back in the city so they made it work. Within the minute they got Karma out of their tent. And then just left them a bit of a ways outside of it, going back inside their tent. -- And that was about how long they managed to keep from collapsing. A few steps into their tent and their shaky legs were taking them to the ground as they stumbled. They didn’t let themself cry again though, wiping any tears that did come profusely from their eyes. They didn’t deserve to cry. They’d gotten what they wanted. There was no way the two would be coming back, Illon wasn’t sure how they’d react if the two did even. Their anger was volatile, explosive. Something they’d never learned to properly deal with. Just like anything else that involved people or emotions or talking just in general. -- Something they knew did work though… Was it even sage for them to do something like that anymore though? Wouldn’t it… Well. Like they’d told Ambrose and Karma, they weren’t going to let that excuse of a reason change how they dealt with things. Their scar was already reopened, what was a little more blood? Plus, even if it did end up causing something it wasn’t like they didn’t deserve it. -- With that decided, they grabbed their mask and tore it off and threw it in a random direction into their tent. And then, Illon forced themself to move, to at least drag themself over to where they had set their bag. Anger bubbled and guilt stabbed and the familiar, deep sense of desperation and helplessness choked. They forced down the sob that tried to tear its way through their throat. They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve to regret their words. It wasn’t fair to the two of them. Because regret wouldn’t make the words stop from happening again, and the two would only get hurt again and zillow couldn’t do that. Not Ambrose, not to Karma, not even to themself. It was too unstable, too inconsistent. They’d end up just like they did on- -- And a sob managed to get through. Not because of the spiele they had just given, but because of the memory that was still too much for them to take. Forget torture, that had been worse… Maybe. At least that hadn’t been physically painful. Then again, who cared anyways? It didn’t really matter. Not right now. -- So, with that, Illon forced their hands into their bag and began digging through it. Once they felt a sharp point, they grabbed the handle of it and pulled it out. Grabbing the edge of their sleeve with their teeth and pulling it up and out of the way was definitely painful, but not like they didn’t deserve that pain either. While doing that though, they realized through blurry eyes that they’d accidentally grabbed their chip carver instead of the blade they used to use for this. -- For a moment, they stopped. Debating. They wanted to throw it off somewhere like they had with their mask, Agnar may need it for whatever they were making and dried blood wasn’t exactly going to be good for him to see. But an idea was pulling at their mind, an idea coated with anger and guilt and you know what?! Illon had already failed Ambrose and Karma! Why not fail Agnar too! Honestly, they were almost surprised they hadn’t had this idea sooner. -- So, moving the chip carver to the upper left corner of their right wrist- They began carving out the word. The word that would eventually warn everyone before they had the chance to fail them. To hurt them. Because Illon didn’t want to hurt anyone, they’d never wanted to hurt anyone. Especially not anyone in the group. -- They wrote it slowly, as slowly as they could, at least. Pushing the chip carver’s blade as deep as it could be pushed in to make sure it would scar once healed. A simple five letter word, all uppercase to make sure the letters wouldn’t be mistaken for one another. It hurt, plenty if they were being honest. But frankly, Illon deserved it. After what they’d done to the two, after what they’d done to Ben, after what they’d done to their parents and grandparents and everyone- They definitely deserved it. -- Sure, they had to blink back tears the whole time to make sure their vision wasn’t blurry enough so they could write it without any mistakes but that didn’t change that they deserved it. That didn’t change the fact that they were overwhelmed by everything else going on. -- Luckily though, a five letter word was easier to get through than something longer. And in what felt like hours but was probably no longer than a few minutes, the bloody letters of ‘LEAVE’ stared back at them. Going from the left corner of their right wrist to the right corner of their right wrist. It definitely wasn’t neat, Illon hadn’t expected it to be, but it was legible even with their blurry vision. And then they threw the chip carver off into some random corner in the tent, pulled their sleeve back up, and allowed themself to just lay down. They were done for the night. They didn’t want to get up again, they didn’t want to get up ever again. The injuries, despite how much they’d bleed, wouldn’t allow for that though. No matter how much Illon wished it would, they knew it wouldn’t. *~*~*~* “I see… Well, uh, I probably should have definitely not have just, like, spilled all that to a stranger, but I've never been great at keeping my mouth shut, sooo.” -- Blair wished the fake chuckle hadn’t happened, but as it stood, not like he could really argue against it or demand the dude not to do it. Honestly, Blair probably would’ve done the same. -- “Thank you… For... explaining things. I guess it makes a little more sense now, so, I appreciate it. And, uh, I think I might try that risk thing, I've always been good at those. Eni gets mad at me for it.” -- He barked a laugh at that, and grinned. “Good. Someone needs to. They’re your parent, right? I’d tell you to tell them I said hi but like… Pretty sure that defeats the point of hiding my existence from the group. You ever need something that you don’t wanna tell your group though, just lemme know. From one orphan to another, right? I mean, you’ve already spilled shit to me that you admit you probably shouldn’t have spilt. What’s some shit if it ever gets to weighing down, huh?” |
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Esta Haron / 24 / Female / Lesbian / Healer / M: All Ambrose Alinsky / 26 / Male / Graysexual Panromantic / Traveler / M: All Agnar Solefair / 22 / Male / Homosexual / M: All Karma Bravo / 25 / Nonbinary / Pansexual / M: All Isabella Finley / 25 / Female / Bisexual / M: All After a while of just laying there, surrounded by her girlfriends, Esta hesitently spoke up. "Sorry to ruin the momen, but don't we have things to do?" Isabella hummed softly and sat up. "Nah, I don't think so. I mean, someone might have to get more fire wood or something, but that can wait. And I'm pretty sure Agni is actually patrolling rather than just going for a walk, he doesn't know how to not work, unfortunatly." The healer nodded a little in response. "I guess." "Oh, hey! Sal, do you still have that word game book? Maybe we could do some of that." Esta's eyes lit up and she smiled. She adored books, writing, and really anything that had to do with words. "Oh, yeah, that sounds fun! I'm pretty good at cross-words!" Isa huffed, crossing her arms. "Of course you are, why do I have to be the dumb one?" "You aren't dumb, Isa, you just have different skill sets! It's nothing to be ashamed of!" --- “Get out, Karma.” The skeptic didn't process the words, and they didn't really try to. The rush of emotion was dying down, leaving Karma silently grasping for it, desperate and confused by what exactly had just happened. Whatever it was, they didn't want the feelings to leave again. They didn't want to feel empty anymore. “Get out, Karma. I don’t want you in here. Go away. Do I have to drag you? I’m not dragging you back to your tent if I do.” Someone grabbed their arm and Karma didn't bother to fight it, they probably couldn't even if they tried. Instead, they let themselves be dragged and then shifted to their side as soon as they were released. An odd ringing had started up in their ears and they found themselves gasping for air, confused by why it was suddenly so hard to breathe. Everything seemed fuzzy and their brain was running around itself, searching for something to properly grasp onto. After a few minutes of just laying there, disoriented and breathing heavily, things finally seemed to return back to normal, the last of Karma's adrenaline and unusal emotion slowly fading. They still couldn't recall the exact things that had been spoken (or yelled), but they started to realize how damaging what had just happened really was, to both Illon and Ambrose. Sighing softly, the skeptic reached out a hand and started tracing random patterns in the dirt, deciding that it would take far too much energy to move at this point and they really didn't want to waste said energy... Well, not more than usual anyway. So instead, they just lay there, numb and alone, as usual. --- "Bo?" The traveler didn't look up, clawing at his scalp hard enough to draw blood. His throat was tight, it was hard to breathe, he couldn't see, everything hurt. "Bo, love, what's wrong? What happened?" He wanted to scream, but he couldn't make any sound above a whimper. How in hell had he managed to fail so badly? How had he managed to make things worse instead of better? It didn't make since! Nothing did, it all just hurt. Hands gently grabbed Ambrose's wrists and pulled them away from his head. "Breathe, darling, stop hurting yourself like this. Everything is going to be fine, I promise, just take deep breaths and focus on me." Focus on... who? What? Where was he again? "See, it's alright, everything is fine. You're overthinking again, it's always been a bad habit of yours, hasn't it?" Overthinking? Overthinking what? But, what had happened, it was his fault, wasn't it? Because he failed at keeping them safe. That wasn't overthinking, it was just fact, Ambrose had failed... Failed who? Was it... was it Mira? No, he hadn't seen her in years, Mira had moved on, so then? Who? "You're always too obsessed with helping everyone else out, you forget about yourself." One hand let go of his wrist and gently brushed through his chair, lightly running a hand over Ambrose's cheek. The voice was sweet and familiar, loving and gentle. It was home. "I've told you that from the beginning, Bo. You have to take a step back and stop trying to save people before you even save yourself. You can't dive in and save someone drowning if you don't know how to swim." The traveler let out a quiet whimper, confused. The voice was real, and the touch, but he couldn't quite put together where exactly he was. "I know it's hard, but sometimes you just have to let people go." "I-I can't." There was a pause and then the hands carefully pulled Ambrose up so he was sitting, looking into deep green eyes. His breath hitched. He hadn't seen those for... for a while. "You have to, I know Kyra is your friend, but if you don't let her go, it's going to tear you apart. She's going to hurt you." Kyra. That's who he'd failed. It made since now. Everything fell into place quickly as Ambrose's mind put the pieces together. He was sitting on the hard-wood floor of their small cottage, his mother sitting in front of him, her delicate, beautiful features clearer than the traveler remembered. Him and Kyra had a fight after Ambrose found out about her self-harm. She'd thrown insults, he'd pleaded, she'd threatened, he'd run. He should have stayed. He failed. "Ambrose. Look at me, if you try to save everyone who needs it, it's going to kill you." Her imaged glitched slightly and the traveler flinched, seeing a droplet of crimson blood drip to the floor. "You have to trust me." Her skin seemed paler now, more pale than it should be. Ambrose's blood ran cold, but he held onto his mothers arm, looking into her eyes. She was sick, but she was alive. She was real. She had to be real. She was real. "Ambrose, promise me." More blood. Was it his? He was bleeding, after all. He didn't think he was that much, but maybe he'd underestimated how much damage he'd caused. It wouldn't be the first time. "Leave." Her dark eyes seemed spacy now, become more milky. "Run." His hand tightened around her arm, panic starting up in his chest. "Before your love kills you, too." What? "Let. Them. Go." Them? The image of his mother started to fade, but Ambrose only blinked, blinded by confusion. It didn't make since. What was happening? Who was going to kill him? What? --- “Good. Someone needs to. They’re your parent, right? I’d tell you to tell them I said hi but like… Pretty sure that defeats the point of hiding my existence from the group. You ever need something that you don’t wanna tell your group though, just lemme know. From one orphan to another, right? I mean, you’ve already spilled shit to me that you admit you probably shouldn’t have spilt. What’s some shit if it ever gets to weighing down, huh?” Agnar smiled and bobbed his head. "Ya know what, at this point, why not? I think if you were gonna kill me, you probably would have by now, and it's kinda nice to have someone to share secrets with."
He grinned mischievously. "And I somewhat like the idea of meeting up with some mysterious, handsome stranger in the middle of the woods, sounds like somethin' outta a story, hm?" The ranger smirked and winked, seemingly back to his normal self. "Could be something outta a horror film where you end up gaslighting and murdering me, or it could be a romance." He wiggled his fingers and cracked up, finding himself very amusing. This guy, despite actively stalking their group and trying to kill Amel, was very much growing on Agnar for reasons he couldn't explain. Who knows, maybe they would end up become close friends... or more, later on, if some weird circumstance or something threw them together in an odd twist of fate. Did it make since, no. But at this point, did anything? |
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Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All, Joliqun!(Ind) Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All Agris ‘Blair’ Bairugih | 23 | Male | Gay | Turncoat | Mentions; Agnar(Dir), Amel(Ind), The Others(Even More Ind) -- “Sorry to ruin the moment, but don't we have things to do?” -- “Nah, I don't think so. I mean, someone might have to get more fire wood or something, but that can wait. And I'm pretty sure Agni is actually patrolling rather than just going for a walk, he doesn't know how to not work, unfortunatly.” -- “I guess.” -- “Oh, hey! Sal, do you still have that word game book? Maybe we could do some of that.” -- Salen perked at the sound of her name, honestly she’d been starting to drift off just cuddling with the two. Did she have her crossword puzzle book though? Most definitely. She could feel it in one of the inside pockets of her jacket. -- “Oh, yeah, that sounds fun! I'm pretty good at crosswords!” -- “Of course you are, why do I have to be the dumb one?” -- Forgetting about getting it out for the moment though, she looked over at Isabella instead. If they were going to get on Esta’s case about insulting herself, then Isabella would get her case ridden too. -- “You aren't dumb, Isa, you just have different skill sets! It's nothing to be ashamed of!” -- Salen nodded, “Yeah, Bella, and we love you for your skills, very appealing fashion and look, and the top of the cream personality. You wouldn’t be you without all of it.” -- Digging the crossword puzzle book from her jacket, she held it up and smiled softly. “Besides, if you want to get good at something then you only need to practice and luckily- I have plenty of practice available.” *~*~*~* Laying on the ground, not even on the sleeping bag, was decidedly painful. Even more due to the pain from their lower face and forearm. Frankly, Illon was uncomfortable. The ground was hard and digging into their back, they had the side of their face resting against it so it was just rubbing against some wounds that really shouldn’t be rubbed against, and their sleeve was getting pulled in all directions from the way they were laying that made it feel like the already deep cuts were getting torn deeper. And they'd made the fatal mistake of the side being on the ground being their bad ear, so even that was starting to get irritated. -- But, well, they didnt move to reposition how they were laying on the floor nor did they go to actually wrap anything the way people that didnt have access to Esta did. Let alone move to go and find her or even just to move to their sleeping bag. -- It wasn’t like they didn’t deserve the added pain. If anything, they were almost upset that there wasn’t more of it. They almost wished they hadn’t thrown away the chip carver, they could’ve done more. Could’ve done a list of everyone that left or would eventually leave because everyone did and everyone should. -- Honestly, Illon wasn’t sure if they could move. Even if they wanted to. So, experimentally, they shifted their head a bit. Not to a more comfortable position, they just allowed their head to drag some more of the wounds onto the ground. Which worked, but ended up making them cough due to the rather sudden blossom of pain that came with the movement. -- Which caused more pain and more coughing. And their throat already being hoarse, itchy, and dry from crying was not helping matters. Soon, what started as light coughing here and there that didn’t really end became a fit of pained coughing that reached the pit in their stomach and reminded them that it was still empty. Not like they didn’t deserve that either. The pain still made them curl, which in some ways ended up being slightly less painful. It didn’t help their coughing fit much though, but it did help muffle it which was certainly good enough for them right now. They didn’t deserve any help with it, after all. It would be better if no one heard and showed up, that was for certain. -- Especially when it could be Esta or when she could be grabbed and brought. Illon had hurt enough people to last multiple lifetimes and they didn’t feel like hurting her too. They didn’t even want to know what they might say to her. Honestly, they weren’t really looking forward to talking to her again at all. Not after she got with the two, not after they know she’ll leave them behind, and definitely not after what happened with Karma and Ambrose. They certainly didn’t deserve her friendship, they didn’t deserve to even know her or waste her healing prowess on their pathetic excuse of a life. -- They should’ve been left behind by the group. The realization came for the umpteenth time that day during their muffled, pained coughing fit. They really should’ve been left to die by the group. It would’ve been better for everyone. It would’ve been better for Karma and Ambrose and Esta and Amel and Benvolio and- And just everyone. Probably would’ve been better for their parents too even. They’d probably hear the news and cheer… Who wouldn’t? -- It would’ve been for the best. It would’ve helped more than anything they actually did. Forget their kill count, it was only because they’d ran in without thinking so much. Everyone else could’ve dealt with them all just as easily. The group hadn’t really needed them, they were just deadweight. A burden. A liability. A useless leech that didn’t care about anyone else except for themself. And the group should’ve taken the chance they had to get rid of them. It would’ve been the best choice for everyone. -- Their parents would’ve been able to pretend they’d died doing something good, Ben would never have to worry about them seeing how successful he is without them, Karma and Ambrose would never have to get hurt by them again, Esta and Salen and Isabella could get married in peace and never worry about someone ruining it, Agnar and Eni could go become a family without anyone getting in the way, and Amel would’ve gotten exactly what he’d wanted from the start. Illon wasn’t that dumb, they knew that Amel didn’t ever like them. -- But given the coughing, given the painful position, given the blood staining the ground and everything else, and given how they still showed no signs of moving even just to reposition- Illon doubted they would be fixing the group’s mistake anytime soon. They just didn’t have the energy to do so. Maybe tomorrow, or a week from now. But right now, they just didn’t have the willpower. *~*~*~* “Ya know what, at this point, why not? I think if you were gonna kill me, you probably would have by now, and it's kinda nice to have someone to share secrets with.” -- Blair returned the mischievous grin sent his way with a slightly more sarcastic one of his own. -- “And I somewhat like the idea of meeting up with some mysterious, handsome stranger in the middle of the woods, sounds like somethin' outta a story, hm?” -- The wink almost made him gag, and it almost made him laugh. He wasn’t sure which reaction would’ve been worse, so he was rather glad he did neither. -- “Could be something outta a horror film where you end up gaslighting and murdering me, or it could be a romance.” -- And as soon as Agnar started laughing, Blair did too. The whole thing was rather amusing. They’d went from a short lived argument to secrets being spilled and comfort to… What? Joke flirting? It was strange, and rather enjoyable for some reason. Blair wasn’t sure why himself, not like he’d be complaining. -- When he finally managed to stop laughing, he gave his best smirk and raised an eyebrow, voice having an amused though slightly flirty tone to it. “Oh yeah? Those the only two choices? Well, I think I know which I prefer. I think I’ll let you guess though, but you’re smart so you’ll probably guess right.” |
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Esta Haron / 24 / Female / Lesbian / Healer / M: All Ambrose Alinsky / 26 / Male / Graysexual Panromantic / Traveler / M: All Agnar Solefair / 22 / Male / Homosexual / M: All Karma Bravo / 25 / Nonbinary / Pansexual / M: All Isabella Finley / 25 / Female / Bisexual / M: All “Yeah, Bella, and we love you for your skills, very appealing fashion and look, and the top of the cream personality. You wouldn’t be you without all of it.” Esta nodded in eager agreement, smiling. "Exactly!" Isabella blushed a little and smiled as well. “Besides, if you want to get good at something then you only need to practice and luckily- I have plenty of practice available.” "Well, I guess that's true." Bella agreed, nodding and shifting to wrap her arms around Salen from behind, peaking over her shoulder. Esta smirked slightly and sat next to the others, watching over Sal's other side. "Now, what's the first hint?" --- Karma was getting uncomortable now, having laid on the hard ground mostly unmoving for several minutes. Their right arm (the one they were laying on) was falling asleep, but Karma refused to move. Instead, they just continued to draw in the dirt, watching as the shapes slowly turned into one big picture. A bird. Just a random, but surprisingly well drawn bird. One the image was complete, the skeptic huffed and promptly rolled over on their creation, not giving a fuck about it being ruined. Why would they? Now staring at the sky, Karma's mind started to slowly collect bits and peices of Illon and Ambrose's argument... if you could call it that. It was really more of Illon having an emotional outburst after Ambrose tried to tell them and Karma that he cared a lot and had no expectations, something that the skeptic didn't really believe either. Honestly. Illon's outburst was completely understandable, even if it was a bit out of line. Groaning, Karma covered their face, recognizing the fact that any decant human being would check up on not one, but both Ambrose and Illon. They were both obviously struggling in some aspect. Normally, the skeptic wouldn't care enough to bother checking on either of them, but for some reason, a little voice in their head and a tugging in their gut was beckoning them to care. "Damn morals." They snarled to themselves before pushing to their feet and hesitantly stepping back towards Illon's tent. Only to pause again, debating. Illon had kicked them, or rather, dragged them out, so maybe it would be better to start with Ambrose? The guy wouldn't kick them out, probably not even if they really wanted to. So then, Ambrose first, Illon second. Or.... maybe it would be better to check on Illon first. They were better known for their self-destructive nature anyway, so... "Fuck it." Walking towards Illon's tent yet again, they tapped the flap. "I'm coming in." Karma stated, not bothering to ask if they could. They already knew what the answer would be anyway. As soon as they unzipped the tent, Karma paused, though they remained expressionless. That was a lot of blood. Sighing, the skeptic entered, letting the flap fall behind them and approaching Illon, kneeling next to them and pulling them up and off their already injured ear, face, and now, arm. 'LEAVE' The word, though not spoken, rang loud and clear in Karma's ears, but they ignored it. Nothing surprised them anymore, and this did nothing but send a small pang of sadness in their gut. Something that didn't reflect in their dark eyes at all. "Alright, no need to talk, just point. If you have a first aid kit, where is it? And where's the thing you used to do this, I need to now the probability of the wounds getting infected. If you've got decent stuff around here, then there's no need to get Esta, I'm guessing you wanted to avoid that, some shit about her being unnecessarily bothered, right? I've got experiance with taking care of wounds and stuff, so it won't be a problem as long as you've got proper meds. If not, I'll got get my kit." Their blue eyes swept the tent, searching, before returning to Illon and the new word carved into their arm. "Kinda stupid, don't ya think?" They hummed. "Words don't make people disappear, believe it or not. They can hurt, they can heal, but they aren't typically magic. Some people are so damn stubborn they won't leave you alone, no matter how many terrible things you say. I should know." --- As things got more and more muddled in Ambrose's mind, he made his way out of his tent, searching for answers as to where exactly he was and what exactly was going on. It took a few moments, but he finally processed the fact that there were other people. Three girls talking and someone sitting at the side of the camp. They had wings. Curious, Ambrose's feet started walking in the person's direction, stopping and lightly tapping their shoulder for attention. The person looked familiar, but Ambrose wasn't sure why. They weren't his family, nor where they who Ambrose remembered as a close friend. Then again, this whole place was completely new to him, so it made since that he didn't fully know this person. Maybe one of his mothers friends? She took him on trips sometimes, maybe that's what this whole thing was. That made since. "Um, hi. Do you know where my mother went? She left a bit earlier and I can't seem to find her." The traveler looked at Eni with wide, innocent, slightly distant eyes. He looked mostly normal, save for the dried blood under his nails and hair and the red-rimmed eyes. He looked a little confused and his voice was completely serious, genuinely believing that his mother had indeed just gotten up and walked out of camp. It was the only thing that his brain could come up with that would make since in this situation. Oh, right, manners. His mother would scold him for forgetting about those. "Oh, sorry, I'm Ambrose, you know my mother, right? What's your name?" --- “Oh yeah? Those the only two choices? Well, I think I know which I prefer. I think I’ll let you guess though, but you’re smart so you’ll probably guess right.” Agnar's cheeks reddened slightly, but he just laughed again, wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh, I think I will!" He grinned, letting himself sit down. "Also, are you, like, gonna eat, 'cause I brought you hot, fresh food and it's getting less hot and fresh by the second." He pointed out, tone still light and teasing. "I'd honestly love to sit and talk with ya all day, but the others will notice I'm gone eventually, and I'm pretty sure it's, like, fail stalking if you're found out... Well, if your found out by someone who actually cares about the person you want to kill anyway." |
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Edited at August 9, 2022 07:14 PM by Lost Memories
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Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All Agris ‘Blair’ Bairugih | 23 | Male | Gay | Turncoat | Mentions; Agnar(Dir), Amel(Ind), The Others(Even More Ind) -- “Well, I guess that's true.” -- And then Salen was sandwiched between them so that all three could see the book. Honestly, she definitely enjoyed it. Without any further ado, she opened the book to a new page that hadn’t been started yet. -- “Now, what's the first hint?” -- Salen looked at the hint sections, and then looked back at Isabella. “Do you want the first across hint or the first down hint? The first across is just whatever the slang word for obsessed is, and the first down hint is ‘A long time blank, in a galaxy far away.’ So a Star Wars quote.” -- Truth be told, first down was pretty obviously going to be ‘AGO’. But this was supposed to be them doing it all together, so she wanted one of them to get one of the first ones. As for first across… Salen actually wasn’t too sure, slang wasn’t really something she used often, after all. *~*~*~* Illon wasn’t sure how long they laid there, time becoming a meaningless mess as their mind simply… Unraveled. They only knew that it hadn’t been long enough for the wounds to stop bleeding, which was going to start being a problem at some point- Not because it made them question how deep they were, Illon knew the answer to that. Not deep enough to kill them. Unfortunately. -- But no, the blood wasn’t going to be a problem because of something like that. More so, it was going to be a problem because of all the extra memories associated with it at this point. Whatever. They deserved it. -- Their mind drifted, staying near but not really being able to focus on much. They just wanted to sleep, but the position was making that seem impossible. And the light coughing that still showed up now and then, just to remind them that they didn’t have any control over that either. What did they have control over? Nothing, probably. They had never had control over anything before, after all. -- A light knock and, “I'm coming in.” -- And for a moment, they weren’t on the hard ground of their tent- They were seated at a desk, face fallen forwards on it. Their mom right outside the door, about to come in… But then they realized that that had been Karma’s voice, and they were on the ground, with blood all around them. -- Karma couldn’t see them like this! They’d get Esta! They did earlier! No! No! They couldn’t! Illon tried to curl in on themselves even more than they had when they’d been coughing, trying to hide themselves from view in the most futile way possible. They found they couldn’t move though, and again, it was as if they were back at that stupid desk. The return back to the present didn’t take too long though, just a few seconds. -- They heard someone enter, they expected some sort of reaction. They got nothing more than a sigh. Somehow it didn’t hurt more than the last time they’d heard it… Or the scream that had followed shortly after… -- They heard Karma as they walked, feeling rather unlucky that it had been their bad ear that went to the ground instead of their good one. They didn’t feel like hearing anything right now. They didn’t feel like doing anything right now either. Not like they could, the pathetic attempt to move had proven that. -- What they did want to do was tell Karma to go away, nothing was cooperating right now though, so they didn’t think they’d be able to. No matter how much they wanted to. They doubted they’d listen anyways. Apparently their words hadn’t been enough. Or dragging them out… Illon really was just a terrible, good-for-nothing, useless idiot… -- Again, in vain, they tried to curl further. Their limbs continued to refuse them though. So instead they just kept their eyes on the ground, they’d rather not have to see the disappointment on Karma’s face as they knelt beside them. Wait, Karma was kneeling beside them? No, no- They should go- They should leave- Leave. Like everyone should. Everyone should just- -- Their vision was blurry, they were only looking at the floor. Karma’s hands were pulling them to sit up though. They wished they could’ve pulled away, wished they could’ve curled up. Their head fell forwards and to the right though, gravity being the cause. They were glad they didn’t have to look at Karma’s face though, they were glad they weren’t leaning into Karma too. -- It did mean, though, that they had a perfect view of the still bleeding word on their arm. Which meant so did Karma. They felt sick at the thought. But maybe it would finally make Karma get the hint…? Apparently not, since they started talking. -- “Alright, no need to talk, just point.” As if that’d be happening… Illon couldn’t do either right now, even if they’d tried. “If you have a first aid kit, where is it? And where's the thing you used to do this, I need to know the probability of the wounds getting infected. If you've got decent stuff around here, then there's no need to get Esta, I'm guessing you wanted to avoid that, some shit about her being unnecessarily bothered, right? I've got experience with taking care of wounds and stuff, so it won't be a problem as long as you've got proper meds. If not, I'll go get my kit.” -- They did try to point though, they knew where at least one of those things were, after all. Their first aid kit had been stashed under their tiny, easy to move table(if it could even be called that) that they’d used to set finished and unfinished projects on throughout the trip. The kit didn’t have much in it though, other than some gauze and medical tape that they’d ended up using most of for projects. As for the chip carver? They had no clue, they’d throw it off somewhere. It didn’t matter. They ended up being unable to point anyways. -- They really hoped that Karma wouldn’t go and get Esta, even if it ended up being worse than they had thought it was. They didn’t deserve her worry, she didn’t deserve to be bothered by them. Ever again, honestly. She didn’t need them. She probably wouldn’t ever even want to see them again. They’d already done the only things they could for her, help in the least helpful ways that a wing person possibly could. They hadn’t even really helped. Their eyes glazed, their vision blurred, and again they were glad that Karma probably couldn’t see their eyes. Illon didn’t deserve to cry. Illon didn’t deserve to live either, but look where they were. They’d really have to rectify the group’s mistake at some point… -- Right now though, Karma was speaking again. They really wished they could’ve said something or pointed by now, but nothing was cooperating. -- “Kinda stupid, don't ya think? Words don't make people disappear, believe it or not. They can hurt, they can heal, but they aren't typically magic. Some people are so damn stubborn they won't leave you alone, no matter how many terrible things you say. I should know.” -- And Illon’s eyes were pulled to the bloody word. They wished they could’ve disintegrated, pulled away, curled- Done anything other than just lay there. Sit there. Whatever it was they were doing right now. They wished that they’d reacted to Karma’s words, in any way. But they couldn’t. They wouldn’t move. -- So, they tried to speak. Tried to say something. It didn’t matter what right now, they just had to say something. They ended up getting a weird whimpering, coughing noise. Karma wouldn’t understand that, Illon knew they wouldn’t. But it was something, and it proved that this state wasn’t as bad as it had once been in the past. They could force themselves to bounce back. Maybe not at this exact moment, but they could at least force their fingers to allow a point in the general direction of the first aid kit now. It was good enough, it had to be. They really didn’t want to let Karma down… More than they had undoubtedly already had, that is… *~*~*~* Eni had taken to sitting near the edge of camp the way Agnar had gone, to wait for their dear child to return. They had debated going and speaking to Amel, partly about going after Agnar but they had faith in their son. So they’d decided against it… For now. -- Eventually though, they felt a tapping on their shoulder. Looking over and turning around, they saw Ambrose. So they offered a warm smile, the two normally didn’t speak too much but Ambrose was all around a good person and respectable in their eyes. Which was why as soon as they noticed the blotchy face red from crying, blood dried underneath his hair, Eni’s eyes crinkled in worry- About to ask what happened, if they needed to give Illon or Karma a stern talking to(Ambrose had been in their tent recently and Karma had followed him in), but Ambrose spoke first. -- “Um, hi. Do you know where my mother went? She left a bit earlier and I can't seem to find her.” -- And Eni’s eyes definitely crinkled and narrowed in concern, in confusion. Ambrose looked lost, as if genuinely believing what he’d just said. Which didn’t make sense, given how Ambrose had never mentioned his mother before- Nor had she come with them on this mission. And as far as they were aware, hadn’t been stalking the group in order to do so either. It seemed as though Ambrose wasn’t done speaking yet. -- “Oh, sorry, I'm Ambrose, you know my mother, right? What's your name?” -- And Eni was certainly concerned and confused then. Slowly, firm to make sure Ambrose heard and understood… “Yes, I already know you, Ambrose. It’s me… Eni? You do at least slightly recognize me, yes? I’m afraid I don’t know your mother either, you never introduced me to her. I’d be happy to meet her once we return to the city though…” -- Eni paused, thinking for a moment before continuing. “Are you alright, Ambrose? I thought you already passed the age where the brain fully develops? And why is there dried blood under your hair? Perhaps we should get Esta? Did Illon or Karma do something? Honestly, I’ve been trying to tell Karma to be nicer. It isn’t that hard, regardless of what they may believe. And don’t get me started on Illon! Frankly, they need to pull their head out of the cloud and figure out just what it is they plan on doing. I can’t even tell half the time, and that’s how you know something needs to be done. They aren’t the only ones suffering here, some of us don’t enjoy pulling others down too though…” -- Again they paused, hesitating. Ambrose was a friend to Illon, no doubt. And given that Esta was a bit closer than Eni would’ve preferred for the nature of this conversation(still out of earshot, they suspected, given her lack of reaction to Ambrose)… “Anyways, you perhaps don’t want nor need to hear this. Back to the point, did something happen that I should be made aware of?” *~*~*~* Blair held back a smirk when Agnar’s cheek reddened and the man laughed. He couldn’t suppress his own light chuckle quite as well though. -- “Oh, I think I will!” -- And then Agnar was sitting down, so Blair took it as his own cue to sit down. Though he did stretch slightly in the process, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this light… It didn’t make him any less certain about killing Amel though. -- “Also, are you, like, gonna eat, 'cause I brought you hot, fresh food and it's getting less hot and fresh by the second. I'd honestly love to sit and talk with ya all day, but the others will notice I'm gone eventually, and I'm pretty sure it's, like, fail stalking if you're found out... Well, if your found out by someone who actually cares about the person you want to kill anyway.” -- Almost immediately, his mood soured. “Oh, and are there a lot of those?” His tone was a lot colder than he’d meant for it to be, so he sighed and looked away. Towards the food. Frankly, making meat when someone was still struggling with an injury like the one that inventor was dealing with didn’t make sense to him. -- Not like he’d be complaining though, Blair was honestly just glad for the food. Surprisingly. He hadn’t really had much of an appetite lately but he couldn’t just starve himself when he still had a family murderer to kill. Maybe after, it was a depressing thought but it sounded better than staying in a world without them… -- That got depressing fast. Blair started eating, they’d rather not be thinking about any of this. Why couldn’t the two had just kept joking around for a bit? He didn’t want to have to face any of this… All of this was just… He huffed, and continued eating. |
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Esta Haron / 24 / Female / Lesbian / Healer / M: All Ambrose Alinsky / 26 / Male / Graysexual Panromantic / Traveler / M: All Agnar Solefair / 22 / Male / Homosexual / M: All Karma Bravo / 25 / Nonbinary / Pansexual / M: All Isabella Finley / 25 / Female / Bisexual / M: All "Do you want the first across hint or the first down hint? The first across is just whatever the slang word for obsessed is, and the first down hint is 'A long time blank, in a galaxy far away.' So a Star Wars quote." Isa sat up straighter. "Oh, oh, hey! I know one! It's 'AGO!' I love Star Wars!" She said excitedly, her voice a little too loud for how close she was to Salen's ear. Esta giggled, amused by Isa's newfound excitement. She was actually adorable when she got super excited, transforming from a grown woman with terrifying skill on the battlefield to a child in a candy store. "Nice job, Bella! I think that's right! We should have a Star Wars marathon sometime, since you like it so much!" The second in command nodded excitedly. "Oooo, yes please, that would be so fun! I've got all the old CDs! We could crash at my place that night, too, my apartment's not huge, but we can fit!" Esta smiled. "Sounds like a plan. As for the next hint, I've honestly got no idea." Bella shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe we can do some other word and see if it falls into place? Is that how these things work?" --- After pausing a moment and realizing that Illon was either incapible of, or simply didn't want to cooperate, they started carefully shifting things around the tent with their power. They placed everything into place, neat and tidy compared to the former mess. They shifted things until they finally found what they were looking for. A small first aid box under a small, movable table. Nodding slightly to themselves, Karma brought the box over and opened it, grabbing an anti-bactoral wipe, shifting to support Illon against their chest as they did so, mostly to ensure the other didn't fall. "This'll sting." They stated, still expressionless as they gently wiped the bloody word carved into Illon's skin, cleaning it before grabbing the bandages and skillfully wrapping it up. After that was taken care of, Karma hesitated, a bit unsure on how to help with Illon's face. They were used to taking care of wrists and ankles, legs and arms, and even stomaches, but wounds like this on a face? Karma hadn't delt with that before. After thinking for another few seconds, Karma shifted Illon again, using one hand on their shoulder to keep them from falling and using the other to take out another wipe. "Okay, uh, I'm not great at this or whatever, but, just hold still if you can. I can at least clean it. Definitly keep the mask off though, it'll make things worse." Biting the inside of their cheek, Karma started cleaning the wounds on Illon's face, dark eyes sharp with concentration. They'd rather not mess things up, that wouldn't end well. "Okay." They sat back again, placing their other hand on Illon's shoulder again, mirroring their former position from when Karma had first entered. "Honestly, I can't do much else. But... If you decide you don't want to show off your new... wounds... to everyone, I have some gloves you can have. They're fingerless, so you can still move properly or whatever, but the sleeves go up to just below the elbow, so it sould cover it if you want. If you don't then, whatever, it's not my place to judge, do what you want." Karma shrugged slightly. "Also, I didn't find whatever you did this with, so if you want, I can look for it and clean it, or something. I don't mind blood at all, and you should probably rest." They dropped their eyes to the ground, realizing suddenly how they were acting. Damn it, they were letting themselves get close. Bad idea. Super bad idea. Yet, here they were, and they could hardly back out now. Just... finish helping Illon with this, make sure they're safe enough, then do the same for Ambrose, then they can pretend like none of this ever happend. It would be fine. "Uh, here, I'll help you to your sleeping bag, that way you can't be an idiot and lay directly on open wounds again." --- “Yes, I already know you, Ambrose. It’s me… Eni? You do at least slightly recognize me, yes? I’m afraid I don’t know your mother either, you never introduced me to her. I’d be happy to meet her once we return to the city though…” Eni. That did sound familiar, but from where? And if they didn't know his mother, then why were they here? Or, rather, why was Ambrose here. He was supposed to be with her, right? He didn't ever travel without her. “Are you alright, Ambrose? I thought you already passed the age where the brain fully develops? And why is there dried blood under your hair? Perhaps we should get Esta? Did Illon or Karma do something? Honestly, I’ve been trying to tell Karma to be nicer. It isn’t that hard, regardless of what they may believe. And don’t get me started on Illon! Frankly, they need to pull their head out of the cloud and figure out just what it is they plan on doing. I can’t even tell half the time, and that’s how you know something needs to be done. They aren’t the only ones suffering here, some of us don’t enjoy pulling others down too though…” Esta? Illon? Karma? Who were all these people? What was Eni talking about? Pulling people down? Were they bad people? Like... like him? No, wait, Ambrose didn't want to think about him. That was a bad idea. It was fine, everything was fine, his mother was fine, they were safe now, they had left. He wasn't there anymore. It was fine. “Anyways, you perhaps don’t want nor need to hear this. Back to the point, did something happen that I should be made aware of?” Something... happened. Did something happen? A bloody image flashed in front of him, it was only for a second, but a second was enough. Ambrose flinched back, eyes widening. Something happened. Something bad. Because of him. The traveler's head started spinning, panic starting to fill his chest. His face, grinning, splashed with blood that wasn't his own, his hands, holding a bloody knife, his eyes, dark and angry, full of murder, his voice, beckoning for Ambrose to come out. He wouldn't hurt him, he promised. He'd already done what he came here for. It wasn't safe. He wasn't safe. His mother was dead. He wasn't safe. Nothing was fine. Panicking, Ambrose grabbed at his head again, knees giving out and collapsing to the ground. He didn't want to remember this. He couldn't. It was too much. "I don't want to." His voice was weak, shaky, and full of desperation. "Please, I don't want to remember!" --- “Oh, and are there a lot of those?” Agnar lifted his hands in defense, surprised by the sudden change of tone. "Well, no, admittedly, but most of my group wouldn't ask about what you wanted before killing you, anyway." Not really wanting to continue on this more negative topic, Agnar, true to hiself, easily shifted to something he hoped was lighter. "Oh, hey! I've been thinkin' about it, but did you have nicknames for us, like, you know my name now, and you've most likely figured out who Eni is because of me, but for the others? Oh, and did you ever have a nickname for me?!" He leaned forward excitedly. "Was it something cool? Swift feet, or Straight shot," Agni paused, giggling. "That one would be funny because I'm very gay. Ooo! Or maybe Hawkeye, like the Marvel hero? That would be fucking awesome! Or something like Best shooter... Nah, wait, that sounds weird. Royal Ranger. Yes, that rolls off the tongue pretty well, doesn't it?" The ranger grinned at Blair expectantly, waiting for an answer. |
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Amel Wyther | 26 | Male | Demisexual | Leader | Mentions; All Salen Frez | 25 | Female | Pansexual | Diplomat | Mentions; All Eni Vizin | 27 | Non-Binary | Demisexual | Mentor | Mentions; All Illon Elatos | 24 | Non-Binary | Asexual Demiromantic | Inventor | Mentions; All Agris ‘Blair’ Bairugih | 23 | Male | Gay | Turncoat | Mentions; Agnar(Dir), Amel(Ind), The Others(Even More Ind) -- “Oh, oh, hey! I know one! It's 'AGO!' I love Star Wars!” -- It took all of Salen’s willpower and training from debates and arguments around a table in a small room to keep from reacting to how loud Isabella was. Luckily, Salen had plenty, so it wasn’t too terrible. -- “Nice job, Bella! I think that's right! We should have a Star Wars marathon sometime, since you like it so much!” -- With both of them deciding it was right, Salen put the word in its spot. And then tuned into the conversation going on. -- “Oooo, yes please, that would be so fun! I've got all the old CDs! We could crash at my place that night, too, my apartment's not huge, but we can fit!” -- Salen hadn’t really ever been a huge fan of the franchise, frankly she thought they had milked it dry. But, ah well, if it made the other two happy? She could tolerate some obvious attempts at cash grab. Maybe she’d actually enjoy it too. Times did change people, and it had been years since she’d seen any of the movies. -- “Sounds like a plan. As for the next hint, I've honestly got no idea.” -- “Beats me. Maybe we can do some other word and see if it falls into place? Is that how these things work?” -- Salen scanned the different hints for one they may know and then spoke. “Hint number fourteen, across- It isn’t connected to number one across but it will still help to get this going. The hint is that it’ll be the only character to have appeared in all of the Narnia chronicles. That would be Susan, right?” -- This was one she wasn’t as sure on, but she’d read the books enough times to know that it was one of the four siblings… And the spot was a five letter one, so that had left only Peter and Susan. And looking at hint number fifteen down which was at the end of fourteen- The answer looked to be set up for a N as the start of the word. After all, the hint was ‘Traded in for a blank model’. Which had to be newer. So Susan had to be who it was… Unless she was forgetting someone, but she didn’t think she was. *~*~*~* For a moment, the tent was silent. Karma hadn’t understood their mess of a sound, hadn’t even seemed to see the point. Still, when they heard as things began to shift within the tent, Karma still holding them- At least Illon knew they wouldn’t be getting Esta. -- And then they were being shifted, held against Karma’s chest and- Well, Illon was almost glad for the fact they couldn’t move on their own at the moment. They would’ve flinched, or tried to move away at this point. But then they remembered why they would’ve and hated that they couldn’t. They didn’t want Karma’s clothing getting stained. Which was stupid, because surely it already had gotten blood on it from them. -- Still, they couldn’t move, so they looked at the bloody word at their arm. They almost didn’t want Karma cleaning it- They had deserved it. They deserved the pain that came with it too. -- “This'll sting.” Of course, nothing they wanted ever mattered. So, they watched as Karma began wiping the injury. And they didn’t react. It did sting, of course it did, but they weren’t going to be reacting to much at the moment. Plus, if they couldn’t handle a little sting like this, how would they have gotten through all those… Interrogations…? -- They weren’t supposed to. Their eyes blurred again when the thought came. They deserved it though. They would’ve deserved to die then too. The group should’ve let them. They deserved the pain they had now too though. Which one would’ve been deserved more? Die then but suffer less. Survive but suffer more. Given how their heart was inclined towards the former, they supposed they deserved the latter more. They didn’t get to have the easy way out, after all. They didn’t deserve it. -- They barely noticed that Karma was done wrapping it until they could feel the familiar sensation of eyes staring at them. At their lower face. And suddenly, they felt sick. Who were they kidding? They didn’t need a word on their arm! They had the equivalent of one on their face! They just had to stop wearing a mask and no one would ever want to come near them! -- The cut scars, the burn scars, the electric scars, the bits where their skin hadn’t made it- Honestly, their lower face had to look like that one Batman villain, the one with the coin… Only it was both sides for them, not just one. They were disgusting. They were worthless. They should’ve just kept the mask on. The wounds would’ve gotten infected and ended up being worse but who would’ve known? Who would’ve seen it? And who cared about some stupid excuse like memories? -- Their eyes looked in the direction they’d thrown the mask in. They wanted to try and get to it, put it back on so Karma didn’t have to see how utterly nauseatingly disgusting they were. -- They were shifted again, and they nearly expected Karma to just be shifting them back to the ground so they could make a break for it. Illon wouldn’t have blamed them. Karma didn’t do that though, and they’d been shifted so Karma could see their face better while holding another wipe. Were they actually…? Illon’s eyes blurred, they blinked it back to the best of their abilities. Karma didn’t need to see any of that, Illon didn’t deserve to cry, and it was only because Karma didn’t want to have to see their terrible face even more disgusting later on. -- “Okay, uh, I'm not great at this or whatever, but, just hold still if you can. I can at least clean it. Definitely keep the mask off though, it'll make things worse.” -- And Karma had cleaned it. Despite everything that had happened… Illon couldn’t understand why. They definitely didn’t deserve it. The comment about their mask was also confusing. They didn’t get why Karma cared. They didn’t get why anyone would care. They didn’t get why it mattered how bad their face was at this point, it’d never be okay- So who cared about how bad it got? Their fingers clenched, they tried to focus on that. They needed to be able to move again, they couldn’t just keep holding everyone down. And they had bounced back before… Multiple times! Surely they could do it again. Surely they could do it quicker. -- “Okay.” -- Illon was shifted back to how they been before, they were able to keep their head from rolling to the side this time though. Small victories, they focused on small movements for now. It’d pass fully eventually, but for now they just wanted to not be a complete leech of Karma’s time and energy. -- “Honestly, I can't do much else. But... If you decide you don't want to show off your new... wounds... to everyone, I have some gloves you can have. They're fingerless, so you can still move properly or whatever, but the sleeves go up to just below the elbow, so it sould cover it if you want. If you don't then, whatever, it's not my place to judge, do what you want. Also, I didn't find whatever you did this with, so if you want, I can look for it and clean it, or something. I don't mind blood at all, and you should probably rest.” -- They considered the offer of gloves, at least for a moment. But they couldn’t. They had plenty of long sleeves they could use that wouldn’t draw attention, if Esta saw them wearing gloves she would undoubtedly ask. They didn’t want that. Plus, Karma was probably offering a glove for both arms, and one of their arms were still on strict rules about what they were allowed to wear. Even though the burns there had been from before the group had ever met. So no way we’re they going to be getting those. -- And no way they were going to let Karma find the chip carver. They could handle that. They’d find it and clean it later, before Agnar ever borrowed it. But they couldn’t just let Karma do everything for them, so they’d do it themself. -- “Uh, here, I'll help you to your sleeping bag, that way you can't be an idiot and lay directly on open wounds again.” -- And they did react- They flinched. Even though the tone hadn’t been condescending. It seemed they had just enough movement back to allow them to be able to show a reaction to something, but not enough control of said movement to make sure they didn’t. Immediately, they regretted allowing themself to flinch because of a single word. It wasn’t even like it was wrong though! They were an idiot! A useless one! -- Knowing that still hadn’t stopped them from flinching though. Still, they could tell that Karma was going to leave and even though Illon had conflicted feelings on that- They still had to ask why Karma had chosen to help them, even after what had just happened. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t have deserved to simply be left, after all. -- So, forcing their mouth open and ignoring any pain that came from it- Illon spoke, voice hoarse, barely a whisper, and raspy from all the earlier coughing, yelling, and overall pain. “…Why…?” -- They’d managed it, and despite how terrible it sounded- It would do the job. Hopefully. Hopefully Karma understood what they were asking. *~*~*~* When Ambrose fell to the ground, clutching his head, and obviously panicking- Eni gave pause. This definitely hadn’t been what they’d expected. It told them though that perhaps they had struck the nail on its head. Those two were going to get a stern talking to soon. But first? Ambrose. -- “I don't want to. Please, I don't want to remember!” -- Well… That also didn’t help make much sense of things. But Eni could do this! Obviously, Ambrose wasn’t going to respond well to talking. They weren’t sure if he’d even hear them in this state. That left telepathy and physical comfort. -- So, Eni made their way to their knees, and wrapped their wings around the traveler slowly. And reached out with their mind, the passing thoughts of Ambrose easily thinning out to better run it through the newly added mind. Eni held back any surprise, everyone here had troubles. They wouldn’t leave simply because of this. -- Eni made the connection, keeping a firm hold on it even as thoughts came and went. And so, they spoke directly to his mind, projecting feelings of comfort and calm and safety. ‘Ambrose. Breathe. You’re alright. They’re only memories, they cannot hurt you now. You’re safe here. Focus on breathing, I will not be losing you.’ -- While waiting for any response or sign of being heard, they reached out and gave Esta the smallest of telepathic pings. Early in the group, they’d decided to do this. A tiny ping would mean it wasn’t something of immediate importance, and as they got bigger then it just got a bit more important. But Eni refused to believe they couldn’t handle this, so the smallest ping possible just so the medic was aware was all that was needed. She knew better than to come due to it, they believed that much. *~*~*~* “Well, no, admittedly, but most of my group wouldn't ask about what you wanted before killing you, anyway.” -- Blair was content to just ignore that, to just ignore the ranger altogether. He was already sick of the topic. Luckily, so was Agnar apparently. -- “Oh, hey! I've been thinkin' about it, but did you have nicknames for us, like, you know my name now, and you've most likely figured out who Eni is because of me, but for the others? Oh, and did you ever have a nickname for me?! Was it something cool? Swift feet, or Straight shot. That one would be funny because I'm very gay. Ooo! Or maybe Hawkeye, like the Marvel hero? That would be fucking awesome! Or something like Best shooter... Nah, wait, that sounds weird. Royal Ranger. Yes, that rolls off the tongue pretty well, doesn't it?” -- The grin made Blair a bit uneasy, if he were being honest. But he shrugged, lamely. “Some others did but I never talked to people enough to know what they were. With my skill set I was mostly recon, so I mostly just used your apparent roles in the group or appearance or personality to keep track. I knew you were like, Agni or something. The winged one, who I guess is Eni, and the hothead lady and your medic used that enough for you that I could at least guess. Other than when I had to do that kind of thing though, I didn’t really leave base too much. By the way, you're welcome for helping your group out. You’re looking at the person who caused most of the security being otherwise gone while you all were making your way through.” -- Blair assumed that Agnar would know what he was referring to, the ranger had been one of the only ones to notice how little security there was on the way to get their friend or whatever. Some had thought it was a trap or that it meant the worst, Amel was the only one who knew that Blair was behind it. Until now, of course. Amel had been the one to tell Blair to do it. But he didn’t really want to think about that family killer, so he took a bite. |
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Esta Haron / 24 / Female / Lesbian / Healer / M: All Ambrose Alinsky / 26 / Male / Graysexual Panromantic / Traveler / M: All Agnar Solefair / 22 / Male / Homosexual / M: All Karma Bravo / 25 / Nonbinary / Pansexual / M: All Isabella Finley / 25 / Female / Bisexual / M: All “Hint number fourteen, across- It isn’t connected to number one across but it will still help to get this going. The hint is that it’ll be the only character to have appeared in all of the Narnia chronicles. That would be Susan, right?” Esta thought for a moment. "Actually, isn't that Aslan? Susan doesn't appear in the later books because she no longer believes, if I remember correctly." Isabella shrugged. "Never read it." She stated, earning a wide-eyed look from Esta. "Wait, really? I thought everyone would have read those books, they're really good!" Bella shrugged again. "I don't doubt it, I just don't read much in general." "Hmm, well, we've gotta change that! Maybe I can read them out loud to you if you don't want to actually read them." "You would do that?" "Of course, silly." Esta laughed softly as Isa looked at her with bright eyes. "Awwww. Thank you!" "Sure." --- Karma paused when Illon flinched, not expecting a reaction. Especially not a flinch. They chewed their bottom lip, unsure of what they'd done wrong, and unable to apologize for that same reason. “…Why…?” The word was barely audible and barely understandable, but Karma caught it. Why. That was a good question, wasn't it? The skeptic sighed softly and carefully pulled Illon up, half-carrying them to their sleeping bag and helping them lay down properly. "Because, Illon, you won't help yourself," Karma replied after another few seconds of thoughtful silence. "And that's super fucking hypocritical coming from me, I know, but it's true. Because you're so caught up in hating yourself that you assume everyone else hates you too, and you beat yourself up for it." They looked away, aware that every word they just said could just as easily be shoved right back in their own face, and also because they couldn't bear to look at Illon as they spoke the next words. "And because I'm selfish enough to want to keep you around, even if you would probably be happier in death. Because even though you're suffering, I hate the idea of letting you go." Karma pulled their knees to their chest and rested their head on top of them, still avoiding looking at Illon. "It's stupid, and I don't understand it, and I'm sorry." They took a shaky breath. "I don't know why I feel like this, Illon. Honestly, I don't know why I'm feeling anything. I haven't felt anything in ages and suddenly there's this little stupid emotion in the back of my mind that won't let me go, and I hate it and love it at the same time. I hate it and love it and don't understand it in the slightest. And, honestly, fuck being a moral person, it only ever gets you in messy situations, so I don't understand why the fuck I'm letting myself do this. I know you probably hate it anyway, so, I don't get it. I just... I had to. Sorry." Karma sat there next to Illon then, sitting in a curled-up position and regretting pretty much every word that had just come out of their mouth. They really didn't understand any of this at all, and it put them on edge. On one hand, they didn't even want to be here, on the other, everything they'd just said was the truth. They hated all of it. Every single thing, because they couldn't make any sense out of any of it. Why? Why were they suddenly feeling again? Sure, it wasn't much, but that little persistent thread that refused to leave even after the adrenalin and rush of feelings from the argument wore off was enough to confuse Karma to no end. They shouldn't feel anything. No remorse, no pain, no anger, nothing except the occasional panic that accompanied a flashback or panic trigger. Yet, here they were, and damn it all. This fucking sucked. --- There was so much blood, her blood, on his hands. And now he was going to kill Ambrose, the same as her. Nonono. And then, suddenly, things slowed and the traveler felt a soft tugging as a new presence entered his mind, slowing the memories as they poured out. ‘Ambrose. Breathe. You’re alright.' That voice... it was so familiar, but from where? 'They’re only memories, they cannot hurt you now.' Memories? So then, it wasn't happening now...? 'You’re safe here. Focus on breathing, I will not be losing you.’ And then it clicked. Eni. Ambrose struggled to follow the directions given, gasping for air that seemed far too thin. Blinking hard, Ambrose started to recognize a few of his surroundings, mostly searching for something to hold onto as his head spun. Reaching out, the traveler grasped one of Eni's arms, trying vainly to ground himself and focus on what was real. Eni was real, Ambrose could touch them. That had to mean they were real, right? Or no? He'd felt his mother earlier, though, and she was... she was dead, so then. More panic started to fill Ambrose's chest again and he let out a choked cry, searching for stability that simply didn't seem to be there. He wasn't home, he could figure out that much, at least, and if he wasn't home that meant he wasn't around. That was good. The only problem was Ambrose's mind still couldn't put together a timeline. Everything was blurred together and reality was nearly impossible to distinguish from past thoughts and memories. As things came up, they were quickly combated with something else from a completely different period of time. It was overwhelming and confusing, and even though everything moved much slower, it still felt suffocating. Still too blurred to process. Still too much. --- Esta looked up at the soft ping in her mind, bright expression darkening a little with worry, eyes flicking around camp until they landed on Eni who was kneeling, wings surrounding someone that Esta couldn't make out. She bit the inside of her cheek, debating. Eni had only sent the minimal signal, an alert, but not an alarm, more so telling her to be ready just in case. That probably meant that whatever was happening wasn't too bad, something Eni could (or thought they could) handle on their own. After a moment of hesitation, the healer sat back again, eyes flicking back to the book in Salen's hands. She'd check up on Eni and whoever was with them if Eni sent another ping or if they were still in the same position after a few minutes. For now, she would let Eni do what they could to solve the problem, whatever problem that was. --- “Some others did but I never talked to people enough to know what they were. With my skill set I was mostly recon, so I mostly just used your apparent roles in the group or appearance or personality to keep track. I knew you were like, Agni or something. The winged one, who I guess is Eni, and the hothead lady and your medic used that enough for you that I could at least guess. Other than when I had to do that kind of thing though, I didn’t really leave base too much. By the way, you're welcome for helping your group out. You’re looking at the person who caused most of the security being otherwise gone while you all were making your way through.” Agnar almost completely missed the second half of Blair's words, already pouting about not having a cool nickname. "Awww, really?! Just my normal nickname? That's lame. Night Stalker is much cooler, you could at least return the favor! I mean, I could have just called ya 'stalker,' which is technically true, but also very basic, 'Night Stalker' sounds more mysterious, like something out of a movie! Heh, I'm good at- Wait, what?" When he finally processed the information (which took way longer than it should have, all things considered), Agnar's eyes widened. "That was you?! Wow." The young ranger sat back on the heels of his hands. "Did not see that coming. Hey, thanks, that was really helpful, actually, I'm not sure we would've been as successful without your help." He smiled at Blair with renewed respect, he'd already been impressed with the guy, I mean, he'd snuck up on Agnar, that was pretty damn impressive, but still. "And, uh, you don't have to tell me, but could I ask why? Not that I'm complaining!" |
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Clear Moon: 
