Chatbox
 LeafClan
07:54:53 Leaf she/her
I mean he is only a pup but for 7 mush I got lucky!
 Graywing
07:53:53 Slate, Gray
Leaf

Yay!!
 The Tea Drinkers
07:53:49 Tea, Tea Queen
I'm fighting demons >.> I cannot buy moves
 Boeing
07:51:17 Boe is a bear, Rawr!
hi Grey :)
you alright?
 LeafClan
07:50:49 Leaf she/her
Gray I have an HH wolf know!!😃💗💖💗💖💗💖💗!
 Graywing
07:49:43 Slate, Gray
I blew my nose and now it's bleeing ToT
 LeafClan
07:49:16 Leaf she/her
Magami and White Wind play a game of Beetle.
Magami wins, while White Wind throws a fit.

Well thats life for you!
 ZefhyrMaracaibo
07:48:02 
i have a PvP question! ok, so if you wager say, 50, and select your alliance, and win, do the mushrooms go straight over to the alliance
!? askingt for me. message me if you have to...i dont want to 'miss'the anser to this dilemma
 LeafClan
07:47:59 Leaf she/her
I just had a hell of a time sorting through my game mail.
 Purgatory
07:45:33 Purgatorio/Purge
Pspsps holiday boost idea suggestion voter. New pelt concept added. Please comment why if downvoted :)
-WP Click-
 Cat Paradise
07:45:03 Anatolian/Cat
@Mag
Something way too specific. A CL, low gen, heavyweight with a boost + defect xD oh an they have to have at minimum 40 AC rarity.
 The Night Walker
07:44:06 Anemoia/Aedra PS4Usr
Yippee! Lol
 Magnus Bane
07:44:00 Mag/Maggy
Zombie
What are you looking for
 ZefhyrMaracaibo
07:43:13 
@night walker i just luffff that kitty
 ZefhyrMaracaibo
07:42:34 
graywing, that wolf looks awesome
 Cat Paradise
07:42:05 Anatolian/Cat
Ugh, I'm about to give up with finding a specific male for either my voyage or Firefly dye.
 Magnus Bane
07:41:42 Mag/Maggy
Not great in my opinion
 The Night Walker
07:41:38 Anemoia/Aedra PS4Usr
What does chat think of my cat? -Click-
 Graywing
07:41:05 Slate, Gray
-WP Click-

Pup check?
 Magnus Bane
07:39:15 Mag/Maggy
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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1598
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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