Yeahhhh, fun times, lol

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It didn't suck, shush, it was good! I shall reply once I get home and get my hands on my computer again, lmao.

Mhmmm-

I kind of want to go over the different types of arguments for our good old Nico, Revan, and Horatio lol

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Well, glad you liked it at least lmao

Sounds good to me!

Ooo, yes, their arguments will be interesting for sure-

Very angsty for literally all of them, haha

Mhmmm

I can totally see them arguing over Revan's mother, or how Revan doesn't take care of himself. And eventually even over Revan's guilt, you know- Once Revan let's it slip that he blames himself for literally every death in his family(and others).

Definitely. I can also see them arguing over Nico's clinginess and I don't doubt they'll all end up accusing each other of not trusting each other at one point or another, seeing as they're all pretty stoic and reclusive when it comes to their trauma. That said, triggers might be a problem in the first stages of their relationship, especially for Nico who's got a shit ton of relationship trauma with a bunch of different things-

Oh yeah- Revan and Nico are actually pretty opposite in that.

Revan in the first stages will actually be pretty much immune to triggers... More or less. No worse than he already is and all, at least. As the relationship progresses though, Revan will actually get much easier to trigger (The longer a relationship lasts, the more likely someone is to get hurt or to expect more of him or whatever else)

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Man, Revan probably wouldn't accuse them of not trusting him though. He doesn't even trust himself half the time, he doesn't expect them to trust him. If anything, he'd accuse of them of having too much blind faith in him (which is any at all).

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I will say, Revan either lashes out or withdraws in relationship conflict. He'll tear people apart verbally or he'll withdraw and hide and overwork and push them away. He has no skills in emotional communication other than surface level business kind of talk.

Great, great, Rev's going hurt Nico a lot then, which was kinda expected, honestly. They really are almost complete opposites. Nico will cling to any slight connection at all, even if it's completely hopeless, and they break pretty quickly when faced with any sort of anger regarding his partners. If Rev snaps at her for basically any reason it'll trigger a pretty immediate reaction. They'll basically just become a lot quieter and do whatever he has to to avoid further conflict.

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If Rev withdrawals, that'll trigger a panicked reaction as Nico just assumes that Revan's leaving them for good and it's obviously her fault that he's leaving, because who else is to blame???

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Tio's more complicated. He'll likely end up being the middle ground a lot of the time. He understands Revan's need to withdraw sometimes and, growing up in a similar household as him, he understands why Rev lashes out at times too. At the same time, he's willing to provide the more physical aspect that Nico needs to feel secure and is willing to redirect their attention for a bit after Revan withdrawals to help with grounding. However, he'll probably get a little defensive of Nico during Rev's outbursts, so that could cause some tension too.

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I'd say that, after an outburst, after Tio makes sure to get Nico to a safe state, he'd probably go after Revan and make sure he didn't do something stupid and try to calm him down again.

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And then there's Horatio's own problem-

He also tends to withdraw. A lot.

He struggles with his own emotions and, though he doesn't really ever snap at those he cares about, the only exception being Mira occasionally because of how long they've known and been close to each other, he can become very distant for longer periods of times. So, say Revan snapped and put Tio into a stressful situation that he couldn't figure out a proper reaction for, he'd probably just leave it and completely close himself off from everyone for a few days until he felt he was able to properly address the situation and help Rev and Nico.

That means though, the support system that Nico had for grounding after an argument? Gone, and the situation is even worse for Nico because two people are leaving now.

The presence that, even if not always totally effective, kept Rev from completely destroying himself after something like that? Gone.

Full angst and blame on all three accounts. :)

Oh boy, yeah. All of that is going to be really bad. Revan hates lashing out. Especially because for him, it's never a subconscious reaction. It's never a reflex. When he lashes out, he does it on purpose 8/10 times. And hates himself the entire time. The more he lashes out, the more likely they are to leave and not die because of him. That's always the goal when he lashes out. That they leave. So Nico going quiet would be enough to convince Revan that he's right in his thinking, which means lashing out works, which means he has to keep it up.

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To be fair, when Revan withdraws- That's what he's trying to do. Leave. For good. Forget days, he's going for forever. To remove himself from their lives because he's a danger to their safety. And he cares too much to let them be in danger or for them to be unhappy because of him. He either lashes out to remove them from his life or he withdraws to remove himself from their lives. Either way, they're removed and safe.

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The more he lashes out, the more he withdraws. And the more he withdraws, the more he lashes out. Revan doesn't want them to get killed or hurt, so he has to remove them from his life somehow. Because everyone close to him ends up dead or injured, usually dead, and he doesn't want that to happen again. So if he doesn't let anyone get close to him, then it can't.

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Honestly- I find it very likely for Revan to at some point lash out and call them all nothing more than acquaintances, barely more than strangers. Again, his lashing out and withdrawing is completely on purpose. It's not subconscious or a reflex, it's just how he's learnt to push people away. He was taught through life that people die or get hurt because of him. And he was taught that the only ways to deal with issues in close relationships is to either lash out or withdraw.

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And then there's also the fact that Revan is likely to seek out toxicity after lashing out, even to the point of calling his mother and lashing out at her so that she'll lash out at him, and that he is extremely vulnerable to any sort of guilt and shame... Yeah, he's sucked into a total cycle of angst.

Oof, yeahhhh. So, basically, Tio's the one who'll go and attempt to keep Revan from seeking that toxicity and the second that things get to much and Tio withdrawals as well, everything collapses. Wonderful! XD

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The other thing is that, yeah, Nico will fall quiet and become kinda submissive, panicking, but she will also just continue to chase Rev no matter what, because, yeah, they may be placing himself in a very toxic situation, but who cares, it's his fault anyway, Revan's hurting, they just need to stay and give him an outlit and maybe, eventually, he'll be okay. It doesn't matter how much it hurts as long as Revan is eventually okay.

Tio trying to help Revan in those moments would be met with a lot of lashing out and trying to withdraw. He doesn't want the help, he doesn't think he deserves it, and he needs Tio gone too. If Tio doesn't leave then Tio's in danger, if Tio doesn't leave then Tio will die or get hurt and it'll be Revan's fault.

And it'd be a similar tract for Nico, the more someone tries to get close- The more he pushes. The more he feels the need to get away. To leave.

So while Tio would be able to keep him from seeking out toxicity, he wouldn't really be able to fix the problem. Because the closeness is what sets Revan off.

And while Nico would get quiet and submissive, Revan would get withdrawn and aggressive because he doesn't know how to keep Nico safe except to push them away.

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Revan's honestly probably pretty calm during arguments and conflict, stress is the norm for him so it doesn't bother him too much. If the arguments are about his own habits then he gets a bit defensive, a bit more likely to try and end the conversation or leave the conversation- Maybe even explain why the other is wrong. And when it's about someone else? Then he gets a bit more likely to lash out or withdraw, because if he wasn't there then the problem would go away. Obviously. But he can still hold a peaceful conversation usually, only if the situation gets worse or too much then he'll lash out or withdraw.

It's in the peaceful moments that he's most prone to lash out or withdraw, actually. Because then they're getting too close, too comfortable with each other- With him. And he can't handle that very well. It's the closeness, the idea of intimacy and bliss that scares him. Because he could lose it, and he doesn't deserve it, and he could lose them. And it'll all be his fault, because it always is. If they get hurt, or seem unhappy, or stars forbid- Die or come close to dying? He can't. He'll panic, and decide he has to remove himself from their lives.