-

Gen'ya: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?
Nico: Damn, if people did that to each other, Revan would've killed me years ago.

-

Horatio: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent-teacher conference.
Horatio: Anyways, you said *insert name of Tio, Rev, and Nico's future kid here* is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

-

-

Briar: What are your three best qualities?
Nico: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

-

Horatio: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Nico: Killed without hesitation.

-

Gen'ya, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.
Micha, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

-

*The Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*
Gorōta, Micha, and Horatio: *spinning a little and talking*
Briar, Gen'ya, and Nico: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

-

Briar, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Nico: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Briar: Ohhhh-
Micha: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

-

Nico: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Revan: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Nico: Okay yeah thanks Revan, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

-

Micha: So, Briar is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Horatio: Why?
Micha: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Briar, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

-

Beste: Wait you like me? For my personality?
Amory: I know, I was surprised too.

-

Gen'ya: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.
Gorōta: Gen'ya, NO!

-

Briar: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?
Horatio: Yeah, I have.
Briar: Have you heard of Cole’s law?
Horatio: Is this a joke about coleslaw?
Briar: …maybe.

-

Briar: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Aries.
Aries: I hate myself.
Briar: Alright, square up.

-

Gorōta: N... No!
Briar: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

-

Micha: The first time Nico opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside they yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

-

Nico: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Revan: That doesn't exist.
Nico: Not with that attitude.

-

Irfam: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

-

Amory: *walks into the room*
Beste: They’re covered in blood again. Why is it they’re always covered in blood?
Sol: Well, it looks like it’s their own blood this time.

-

Beste: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

-

Irfam: This was almost a great idea.
Kostas: You just described 90% of our stuff.

-

Beste: No thanks.
Beste: I'm god.

-

Kostas: I just watched Irfam jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Beste was screaming for help, which caused Raphael to run in to help Irfam. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

-

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Promachus: Which one? I have nine.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Promachus: Which one? I have nine.
Amos, distantly: HEY!!!

-

Promachus: You are an absolute fucking dork.
Amos, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!
Promachus: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

-

Irfam: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.
Cop: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.
Irfam: Lmao, @Beste.

-

Amos: You know, Irfam, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.
Irfam: ...
Irfam: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns?

-

Amory: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Promachus.
Amory:
Amory: Don’t tell them I said that.

-

Amory: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Amory: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Sol: I did?
Amory: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Sol.
*walking away*
Sol:
Sol: They're gone, Beste.
Beste, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

-

Kostas: Irfam, please calm down.
Irfam: I asked for two large fries!
Irfam: *dumps fries onto table*
Irfam: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!