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Neutral
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Ahhh. I'm in love with Atelias response. Its more or less exactly what I hoped for. Her beginning to despise him rather than somehow run into his arms proclaiming she doesn't care instead. --Trust me, thats happened before and it just sucks. ;-; But yea, Atelia finally got a taste of Jairos insensitive ego. When I put "mean" in his description, I didn't only mean the "cute type of rude" and I was waiting to execute that and now its happened and I'm more than content with the outcome - At least we officially know that they aint finna be the "Fairytale" couple down the street where everything works out in the beginning. We've ripped off the bandaid and now things should be somewhat easier from here...--I say that but then I gotta think up of extravagant ways to win Atelia back without having to say sorry. |
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Darkseeker
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I'm glad you like it. :) Ew, no, I hate those responses. They're unrealistic. I doubt anybody would react that way in real life. I originally wanted her to get angry, maybe snap at the confession, but then I thought she wouldn't do that. Not when first learning of this all anyways. Maybe later when she sees him again she will be cold. I love this drama you had planned. It was perfectly written out as well. The reactions of each brother was also super satisfying to read. Instead of being like "they were all shocked" I like how you wrote out each of their reactions. It helped visualize it 100%. 11/10, beautiful. They definitely won't be the fairytale couple, even when they're together. I can see some solid arguements breaking out throughout everything, so it'll be fun to see how they patch that as well. It'll be fun when they see each other again. Atelia is going to be icy. Maybe even scared a bit, given what happened to her siblings, so it'll be interesting to see how Jairo reacts to that. I'm looking forward to it. >:] |
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Neutral
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YeS. My next post will for sure contain a time skip. Maybe about a week later. As for the writing, ehh, I was only happy with about half of my post but was too lazy to redo the other paragraphs. Haha, thanks. - The thing is, I hate it when people immediately have their characters all nice and softhearted to the opposing. And if they are "bad", they warm up within a day. Since they still don't know each other very well, Jairo would be more than likely to act "cold" but then reel her back in with a couple of flirty comments or two because he just wants to use her. And he'll probably be that way for a longer while too. But as they get to know each other more and he actually cares for her, you'll see more of his genuine affection. c:< But even then he'll still be a rude ass--just more protective over her and her feelings. - Looking forward to it. Haha, I have many micro plans, and about two more big ones before I start thinking of more. Also, I'm debating on whether or not Kenze returns...or should this be his villain backstory? >:) Nahh, I'm just kidding...or am I? Lmao, but really, he'd probably die within a week. |
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Neutral
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I have a confession to make tho.............................................................................................................................................................................................. - I call you Tenebris Umbrella behind your back. If you think I need an intervention, I understand. |
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Darkseeker
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That sounds good for the time skip. And hush! That post was so well written. I couldn't tell it was rushed at all. No, me too. It takes way longer than that to build trust and warm up to others, even if somebody's personality is full of kindness. Atelia and Jairo have met, what, like two or three times? It makes sense for them to still act distant. She's more lighthearted and not as cold, but even she needs time to warm up. Especially now. It'll take longer for her to trust him now, that's for sure, but it'll come with time. Kenze not returning would be such a good little addition to the plot, but like you said, he'd probably end up starving or do something bold enough that he ends up dead. I have perhaps.. Three things planned. One I'm not sure if I'll use, but I'm leaning towards not scrapping it just yet. Two will happen a little later, the rest will be farther along the line. >:) -- I mean- If it helps, I sometimes think of edamame when I see your name.. because of the letters- |
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Neutral
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EdaMamE? Fair enough--at least its not fucking "eddie." You'll be surprised to see what my nickname is if I ever step foot in chat. --If you know the meaning of "Edera", you'll understand. Lmao. -- I have the perfect idea for them to make up...but it'd probably go the other way. :') Atelia: *Hanging from a collosal cliff side* Jairo:*Walks up and notices her* Atelia: "Dude, help" Jairo:"Kiss me first" Atelia:*Lets go* |
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Darkseeker
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Don't ask. I don't know how I derive that word from your name. Lmao, I need to lure you into chat simply so I can see what people call you. And uH.. I know Edera means ivy- That's all.. I for sure didn't google that. Haha. Weird. Feel free to educate me- Wait, I love that idea. Atelia: *lets go* "Oh, haha, thank god, there was a ledge underneath me after all!" Jairo: "..Did you actually just fucking let go?" But honestly, I can see it happening. Oh! Or remember how I mentioned earlier she wasn't a good swimmer! What if she ends up too deep chasing a fish or something, or maybe slips? Jairo can see her? Lmao, she's the type to be violent when being saved. Jairo: "I'm trying to help you! Stop *pow* kicking *slap* me I can't *gurgle*" |
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Fall 
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