After staring up at his ceiling for a few more minutes, he grabbed his phone. The screen lit up, and there was nothing. Skylar didn't know if Alex would even be up at this time, he also didn't know if he wanted to message him first or wait for Alex to. He clicked on Alex's contact and began to type. "Hey." Sky typed out, it seemed short but he didn't know if he wanted to say much more. Before he could think about it too much and second guess himself, he pressed send. He shut off his phone immediately and put it face down on his bed. "Ughhhhh, he's going to say no." Skylar groaned, putting his hands on his face. Skylar needed to prepare for if Alex did say no. There was a high chance of Sky acting out if Alex did, in one way or another. It could be resorting back to drugs, or lashing out at Alex. He really didn't want to do the second thing, the first one though seemed better in his mind.

(Sorry its short)

What am I going to do? That same question seemed to be on repeat, had been for the entirety of the night. How was he going to answer, yes or no? Both came with a price, and neither price he was sure he wanted or was willing to pay. The truth was, he wanted to be with Skylar. He'd always known that, he supposed, but after yesterday and hearing Skylar ask him to be his boyfriend, Alex became aware of just how important Skylar had become to him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him, nor did he think he could handle throwing away a relationship he so desperately wanted because of the fear of his parents and of being found out. And simultaneously, if he said yes to Skylar and his parents learned of it... his entire life, everything he held dear, the people he loved and cherished would be taken from him. He had no doubt that his father would kick him out, and shun him entirely. And what would happen then? He was still in school and still had a year and a half left before he graduated. If he was on the streets...

`

So lost in thought the sound of his phone chiming and the vibration that came with it started Alex enough to cause him to jump. Instantly his gaze fell upon the text, the message lighting up his screen. It was from Skylar. Simple, but he was still reaching out to him. A small smile formed, and almost instantly Alex could feel some of the anxiety and worries he'd had only moments ago melt away. "Hey. How'd you sleep?" He typed out. He hesitated a moment and debated deleting that question for he was fairly sure that if Skylar had had a night even remotely similar to the one he did, he hadn't gotten much sleep at all. Instead, though he pressed the send button before he could second guess himself any further or talk himself into erasing the typed out message entirely.

It was only a matter of seconds until Skylar's phone buzzed. Sky knew it was from Alex, it had to be, and it made his heart skip a beat. Frozen, with his eyes wide open, he couldn't get himself to pick up his phone. After a moment, he took a deep breath in through his nose and held it slightly as he grabbed his phone. Sky knew it was him, and despite the crippling anxiety Sky was feeling, he found himself smiling a bit at the message. He didn't want to admit to the terrible night of sleep he got, so instead he told a white lie. "I slept great, I was pretty tired. How did you sleep?" Sky typed out, not thinking twice before hitting send. Again, anxiety continued to eat at his body. Maybe I should just tell him to forget about it, that sounds like a good idea. Sky brought his phone back up and began typing again. "Also, about last night just forget about it." He liked what he wrote because he knew he wouldn't get hurt by whatever Alex was going to most likely say. Sky couldn't believe that he would say yes despite what they did yesterday. He just wanted to protect himself from possibly getting hurt. After sending the second text, he turned his phone off again and stared at the ceiling anxiously.

With the peace and comfort that seemed to comply simply with the virtual conversation Alex was having with Skylar, came his answer. How could he possibly say no to a relationship, to someone who made him feel... normal, happy even? How could he turn down an offer that he wanted so desperately to accept? Sure, there were risks... his family being the biggest one, but if he was careful, if he balanced things perfectly then maybe, just maybe he could have both.

`

It was only seconds after he'd sent the text to Skylar that he got a response. His blue hues hadn't wandered from the screen and so he quickly read what Skylar had sent. So, he hadn't been bothered at all? That... was a relief. "I slept fine." It was a lie, a complete and utter lie, but if Skylar had slept so soundly and hadn't been worried about how things would turn out, then Alex felt both silly and foolish for stressing as much as he had over it. He moved his thumb over the send button and was just about to press it when he got a second text. Stilling his thumb he read it and instantly, the small smile that he'd worn disappeared. Forget it? Did that mean that Skylar was regretting asking him out? Biting at his lip he tightened his grip on his phone, his eyes on the screen and the request written on it. Had he not meant it? The idea of Skylar taking back what he'd said and possibly regretting or not having meant it stung far more than Alex could have expected it might. It felt like he'd been struck, his chest tightened and the happiness he'd felt only seconds ago disappeared entirely, leaving him upset, hurt, and a little angry even.

`

For several long minutes, Alex could do nothing but stare at the screen of his phone in disbelief. He felt like crying, a realization that startled him almost as much as the sound of someone descending the stairwell behind him. Instinct kicking in he pressed the send button, answering Skylar's first question before turning his phone off and moving to stand up off the couch. Turning around he was quick to spot his mother, dressed and seemingly ready for the day. The moment she noticed him she came to an abrupt stop. "Alex?" Her voice was soft but it was clear there was a hint of concern in it. There was a brief moment when Alex feared that she was seeing past the mask he wore and the storm of emotions raging inside of him. That worry didn't last long though before logic kicked in, helping him to calm down. She was likely worried because it was unusual for him to be up so early, let alone dressed and seated in the living room without the TV or any lights on. "Morning, Mom." He managed, offering her as warm a smile as he could muster. "Is everything okay?" Alex gave a nod. "Mhm, just couldn't sleep." He answered as he stepped around the couch. "Actually, since you're up, can I head out? I know it's early, but I was thinking of stopping by Bev's place and having breakfast with her family." This wasn't an unusual request, he'd made it plenty of times before, so wasn't surprised when his mother gave a nod. "Of course, honey. If you're sure nothing's wrong." She answered. "I'm sure. Thanks, Mom," Alex returned before he made his way to the door to grab his backpack and slip on his shoes.

Sky felt his phone buzz not long after sending the second message. His heart again nearly stopped. He grabbed his phone, surprised when he saw that Alex hadn't responded to the second thing he had said. "That's good." Skylar typed out, and sent without much thought. After sending the message, telling Alex to forget about it, most of the anxiety he was feeling went away. He was still a bit anxious, but it was nothing compared to before. After a few moments, it had come to Sky's realization that this would be his first day back to school after rehab. That's if he even decided to go back to school. He had already missed quite a bit, and he was slightly embarrassed. People had to notice him in the halls. When someone is on drugs, people are bound to know, especially if it's a harder substance. Sky thought that maybe he'd just stay home. It was his last year, so maybe he could switch to online. If he did online he wouldn't be able to see Alex as often, but maybe that was a good thing.

'

Getting up, Sky walked to his bathroom. Even though he showered the night prior, he wanted to get his body wet. Grabbing the hair tie off his wrist, he gathered all of his hair and put it up in a bun. He didn't want to get his hair wet since he washed it last night. He undressed after turning on the water, and got in once it was an okay temperature. The water ran down his body, as thoughts still continued to flood his mind. The thoughts weren't as intense, but they were still there. Not going to school today, or seeing Alex at all, would make it all go away. As much as Sky liked him, he couldn't handle the rejection, so maybe if they both just forgot about it they could go back to normal.

As Alex left his house and moved down toward the sidewalk he lifted his eyes toward the sky. The darkness of night was beginning to fade and the light of the sun was beginning to dawn on the horizon. Its golden hues started to push back the night sky to make way for daylight. Already a few of the stars that, the night before, had been shining so brilliantly were now retreating, hiding beneath their blanket of shadow. It was a cool morning, the air was crisp, and though there wasn't any breeze, Alex shivered. Perhaps he should have grabbed a sweatshirt before departing, but he hadn't thought that far. Nor did he think he could have kept up appearances long enough to get out of the house before his mother noticed his mood and began asking questions. He might be an excellent actor considering every day of his life he was playing the part of a smart, straight, focused teenager, and not allowing anyone to see who he was. Well, anyone but Skylar.

`

Biting at his bottom lip, Alex turned his gaze from the sky and began walking. He had no intention of going to Bev's house, and while he wanted to he didn't think going to Skylar's was a wise decision either. Funny... Skylar had been the one to both ask him out and then reject him without hearing his answer. Honestly, he should have seen it coming, and shouldn't have been so serious about trying to figure out what he wanted. After all who would want to date him? Skylar was dealing with a lot right now and didn't need the burden of a relationship with him on top of everything else. Still, that knowledge and viewpoint didn't seem to ease the sting and before long he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. Horrified by this, and not wanting anyone to see him crying, he swiftly blinked them away. It hadn't occurred to him that, considering how early it was there wasn't anyone to notice if he cried.

`

This is a good thing. Or so he tried telling himself. Now he didn't have to choose or risk anything. Getting involved with Skylar, allowing these feelings to not only develop but grow as strong as they had, had been a huge mistake on his part. Lesson learned. Shifting his bag on his shoulder, Alex headed towards the school. He'd wait there until the building was open and then head inside. Normally he didn't eat school breakfasts or lunches, but considering he hadn't yet eaten, and since he'd left so early he hadn't brought a lunch, it seemed like today would be one of those days where he suffered through two school meals on top of everything else.

The shower had been hot, burning Sky's skin, but it made him not be able to about anything but the pain. His whole body was red when he stepped out of the shower. Some of his hair got wet, but that wasn't a big deal for Sky at the moment. Once standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he stared at himself with a blank expression on his face. "Time to sleep the day away." Skylar said quietly to himself. It's been a while since he knew how to cope with anything that was not drugs, so he needed to find something else that would do. He wrapped a towel around his body before getting out of the bathroom. Since he decided to try and sleep again, he put on just underwear after drying his body.

'

Leaving his room, he walked down the hall and to his mom's room. Her door was shut, and he hadn't heard her at all so he assumed she was still sleeping. Walking up to the door, he was about to knock but paused. She'll understand, Sky thought, looking down before making his way back towards his room. Maybe he'll just send her a quick message so that he wouldn't have to wake her up right at this moment. When he reached his room again he went straight to his bed. Spotting the phone on the way, once he plopped down on the mattress his hand went immediately to grab the phone. He went to his mom's contact and started typing away. "I think I'm going to stay home, I don't think I'm ready to go back." He hit send without a thought, knowing she'd understand. After turning his phone off, he got under the covers. Rolling on his side, he shut his eyes, praying he'd be able to fall asleep.

Alex had made it a few blocks from the school when he came to an abrupt stop. He let his blue gaze fall on the building, taking note of a few other students who were as early as him already moving into the courtyard to wait for the school to open. He drew in a breath and furrowed his brow. Was he seriously planning on going to school and pretending like nothing happened? Was he okay with forgetting it? The answer to that was clear and simple. No. No, he was not okay with it. He had agonized for nearly the entire night on what to say or do. He had worried about hurting Skylar, about damaging the relationship that was beginning to blossom between them. He had considered and weighed the consequences of what would happen if he agreed and was discovered. He had done all of that and finally come to a decision only to have it written off before he could say anything, before he could speak with Skylar and give his answer.

`

Turning, Alex started back the way he'd come but instead of heading home, he began moving toward Skylar's place. Maybe it was all some game for Skylar, a way to pass the time... Maybe he hadn't meant any of it. But Alex recalled each smile Skylar had given him. The warmth of his hand holding onto his own. The way he so often ran his thumb over the back of his hand whenever they were clasped. He recalled all of it and knew that even if it wasn't real for Skylar or something he regretted, he needed to give him the answer to the question he'd asked last night. He needed Skylar to know how he felt, and if he wanted to forget any of it had happened even after... well, Alex would deal with the outcome then. For now, he'd focus on giving Skylar his answer. He dropped his hand to his pocket, considering for a moment whether or not to text him before ultimately deciding not to. If he showed up, unannounced at Skylar's door, he couldn't possibly ignore or turn him away.