Tyler is going to make sure his cat child has the proper equipment to stab any approaching kidnappers. Now I cannot get this idea out of my head, so I curse you all with it
...
Ethan: Uh, what's up? Why'd you call me over?
Tyler, with a very serious face: *Solemnly hands over a machete* If an old man in a white van offers you candy, or someone offers you drugs, or a way to get money fast, or anything even remotely suspicious, you take this knife and you stab them.
Ethan, quietly: This is a machete-
Tyler: I know it's a bit small, but you'll grow into a bigger one when I see you can handle this one.
Ethan: This is not a knife, it's a MACHET-
Tyler: Well, yes, I may have started off with one a bit bigger, the principal is the same.
Ethan: *Loud, angry suffering*
The rest of the group: What is actually going on over there?