Winter Month: 1 
Night 
Kyyre’s heart slammed against his ribs as the car lurched forward, carrying them away from the school, away from structure, away from the safety of routine. His fingers curled tighter in his lap, gripping the fabric of his sleeve as if anchoring himself, grounding against the creeping tide of panic that always came when he made a decision without fully thinking it through.
This was okay.
It was okay—wasn’t it?
His parents weren’t expecting him home for a while. He should be in class. Should be sitting at his desk, taking notes, doing something productive. If they somehow found out he’d skipped…
His stomach twisted violently, the familiar dread settling in his gut like a lead weight.
Would they find out?
Would someone notice he was missing? Would someone tell them?
The thought sent a shudder through him.
Johannes’s voice pulled him back before he could spiral any further.
"You’re okay with going to my home?"
The words my home made something in Kyyre’s chest tighten, his breath catching ever so slightly. He’d never been invited to Johannes’s house before. He’d barely been to anyone’s house in years, let alone a place as overwhelming as the royal estate. It wasn’t just a home—it was a palace, a fortress, something out of a storybook that felt like a different world entirely.
And he was going there.
His fingers twitched, the instinct to shrink nearly overwhelming.
He forced himself to nod, even as doubt gnawed at the edges of his resolve.
His gaze flickered up to Johannes, searching his face, trying to reassure himself that this wasn’t a mistake. But then Johannes kept talking—kept reassuring him in ways Kyyre hadn’t even realized he needed.
"We don’t have to do anything that… that you don’t want to."
"Doors can stay open."
"If your parents want there to be an adult, I can ask..?"
Kyyre inhaled sharply, his fingers gripping the edge of his seat as tension coiled tight in his chest. He hated how easily those words soothed him, how the simple acknowledgment of his fears made him want to melt into the seat.
Johannes knew.
Maybe not everything, maybe not how deep it ran, but he understood enough.
And the fact that he wasn’t pushing, wasn’t brushing off Kyyre’s nervousness or treating it like an inconvenience—it made something ache deep inside him.
He swallowed hard, nodding again, this time with a little more certainty. “I… I think it’s okay. I mean. Yeah. It’s fine. I mean, I-I don’t mind. We can do what you want. Door open. Door closed. Door out the window. Um. Anything’s fine.” His voice was quiet, careful. “U-Uhm.. no one will find out, right?”
That was the crux of it. The real fear beneath everything else.
If no one found out, there’d be no punishment. No consequences.
But if someone did—
He exhaled shakily, shoving the thought away.
Johannes’s voice was softer now, gentle in a way that sent warmth curling through Kyyre’s chest.
"Tell me if you change your mind. I’ll tell Maciej to turn around, no questions asked."
The sheer casualness of the offer was staggering.
He wasn’t used to having that.
His parents didn’t ask if he was okay with something. They didn’t offer him choices. Once something was decided, that was it.
Johannes was giving him a choice. A real one.
That realization alone made the tightness in his chest ease just a little.
Kyyre exhaled, forcing himself to sit back against the seat, though his posture remained tense, his shoulders tight with lingering unease.
“I won’t change my mind,” he murmured, almost more to himself than to Johannes.
He couldn’t change his mind now.
Not when they were already on their way.
Not when his heart was pounding so hard at the thought of being alone with Johannes—really alone, outside the safety of school, away from prying eyes, in a place where nothing was stopping them except Kyyre’s own fragile courage.
The thought was both thrilling and terrifying.
He pressed his lips together, fingers still curled against his sleeve, trying to steady his breathing.
He was going to Johannes’s home.
It was already happening.
