Hi. I need some advice concerning sexuality etc. I am very confused and wish for some help please.. If you are not comfortable/ok discussing this sort of stuff feel free to leave :)

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So I have an issue. This is concerning like relationships with other people. I don't know whether I am ace or aro or just too scared to try anything or something else is wrong. I have kissed someone but I was terrified the whole time and wasn't exactly ready. I didn't feel anything in particular but maybe it was just the circumstances or something? I have had crushes I believe. But I am always too scared and cautious to do a lot of things. Like I will avoid ibuprofen or pain relief for muscle pains because they are not prescribed. I am a worrier and worry about everything and always get stress symptoms. I have never been in a relationship and I'm not sure why?

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So in conclusion, I am not sure whether I am aro/ace, confused, too scared or there's something else playing in... I honestly have no idea and was wondering whether someone could help me out in some shape or form?

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Thanks for taking the time to read this!

It sounds like you're just scared or not ready. You've had crushes, and kisses aren't like magical or anything you're not going to feel something especially if you didn't want it in the first place.

To me, it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety (Like me! We're anxiety buddies), especially concerning relationships.

Now, that doesn't mean you're not ace/aro, but I feel like you really need to take some time to figure it all out. You don't need to figure out everything right now.

Just remember that there isn't any problem with having crushes, or not having them! You take the time to figure out yourself, and it'll end up just fine! If you ever need support, my PMs are always open :D

It sounds like you just have some anxiety around the idea of dating. But don't worry! Anxiety in relationships is completely normal! I wouldn't rule out Aro/Ace right away, but Demiromatic/Demisexual is a thing as well if that helps you better describe yourself! I'm personally both! :]

Regardless if you're Aro/Ace or just anxious, the best advice I can offer is to take it slow! If you meet someone who makes you happy and are willing to be in a relationship with them, just talk to them and let them know it takes a bit for you to warm up to the idea of a relationship. Also, know it doesn't have to be official right away! I've had relationships where we comfortably sat in the 'trying it out' phase before either breaking it off or continuing forward. Relationships can go as fast or as slow as you need them to. And if someone tries to convince you otherwise, then maybe some boundaries need to be set.

With time you'll learn the best way to be comfortable in relationships, if you decide you want them at all. I'm in my 20s and I still don't know all of the ins and outs of my sexuality. Just be sure to always communicate with your partner and don't be afraid to set boundaries if they're crossing a line. My PMs are open if you ever need any help!