So some back story lol as it pretains to whats going on in my life. I am in my 30's and have been heavily involved in the equestrian industry for decades.

2017 I broke up with my partner of about 5 yrs (Marriage was planned but we never got around to it... I think we both knew it wasnt working) After the break up, my ex would not leave me alone, started stalking me a bit, so I decided to leave Florida and move back up north (grew up in Wisconsin) and spend some time with my mothers side of the family in Minnesota. I had 1 gelding (neutered male horse) at that time that I loved dearly had had him for several years, his name was Trey. In late 2019 I made a business purchase of a decent broodmare that was infoal to a great stallion. I planned to start getting serious about my goals to start up a small scale breeding farm of 1 maybe 2 broodmares for sporthorse breeding thru approved Warmblood registries. Made plans to have the mare inspected and hopefully approved as a Hanoverian, Trakehner, and/or Dutch Warmblood, this was intended to either inprove her sellability or open up several more breeding options.

My orginal plan was to either: keep the mare and breed her after the foal was sold or IF the foal was of better quality then the mare (and a filly (female baby horse)) Id keep the filly and sell the mare. Hard to run a breeding farm without mares lol so doesnt help me to sell the mare and keep a male foal (colt).

In early 2020 I had started a fulltime job in a very good field that could become a decent profession (include retirement benefits after a certain amount of time employed) and was doing decently well. I started making plans to purchase a small farm in florida as I was interested in moving back down to florida. The equine sporthorse industry in florida is very healthy unlike in Minnesota which is all quarter horses and ranching, few sporthorse farms or shows. This is when the coronovirus hits and creates havvock for my broodmare. She was on lock down when she delivered her foal. The facility I had lined up for her broodmare and foal care could not release nor accept new mares. My mare was forced to deliver her foal without any access to emergency care if she needed it. Thankfully everything went well and she delivered a healthy filly (female baby horse). Thankfully as well I was working in a mandatory field and was not hurting financially like so many others and was still recieving a paycheck. However this is were things go south for me.

In mid 2020 my father suffered 1 severe stroke and was hospitalized. Me and my immediate family starting making soft arragements for who wouold help care for him if he didnt make a good enough recovery to live alone. Thankfully he recovered beautifully and was able to return home with little limitations. However a few months later he suffers 2 more severe strokes and was hospitalized again, me and my family again start making soft arragements for who could and would take care of my dad in the event that he didnt recover enough to return home without help. Sadly this time he did not recover, mentally he has not suffered any disability but physically he has several limitations and is severally disabled... to this day (almost a year since his last hospitalization) he still struggles with walking, standing, lifting, ect... I was the only family member that could commit to a possible (high likely) permenant arragement that included relocation, loose of income (the person could not work-needed to commit to being fulltime caretaker), and had the medical experience to know when things were not going well. (I am a disabled US Navy Veteran that served as a Hospital Corpsman aka nurse/nurse practicioner for 8 yrs, I receive supplemented income from said disability so i dont NEED to work if I dont want to) I droped everything and started making arragements to relocate.

I had gotten several quotes for relocation of 3 horses and just couldnt see how I could save up the money needed to move the horses professionally in the time frame that I had. I looked into any benefit of moving the horses myself however, at that time I was in my 3rd year of a 5 yr payment for a compact SUV which could not pull a horse trailer. I found that even making payments on a vehicle capable of hauling a trailer it would still be more economical then professionally shipping them. So i made plans to legaly transer my payments of my car to a 3rd party. I had little time to get things organized and was forced to make decisions quickly. This was a problem as this didnt allow time for normal legal and financial processes to go thru and be approved, so I had to trust that things would go thru and the 3rd party would indeed become a legal 3rd party responsible for payments. I then commited to a 5 yr plan for a heavy duty truck, this way I could move the horses myself and save myself about $3000+ dollars in professional shipping costs. After getting as many things as I could settled I left for Florida and had my 3 horses remain in MN, I needed to line up a decent facility to house said 3 horses before I moved them across the country.

While I was in FL, I and my finance company, found out that the legal 3rd party for my car had falsified his financial situation and backed out of the contract, they basically had gotten themself a free car... while I was stuck with the car payment and no car... about 2 weeks after 1st moving down I flew back up to MN to deal with said 3rd party and to also deal with severe medical issues that had become apparent with 1 of my 3 horses while I was away (sadly said horse was subsequently humanely euthanized, he was my best friend and it hit me really hard...) I could not get in touch nor could anyone I knew find the 3rd party to repossess my car and was forced to return to FL down 1 horse and still on the hook for said car payments with no car...

Meanwhile I remind you I have checked my dad out of the hospital and am taking care of a 300lb 6'6" stubborn 76 yr old man that is struggling to find things he can do and deal with what he cant. All while also having to swallow the pill that he NEEDS to have his daughter live with him and wash his dirty laundry, clean up after he messed his bed because he couldnt hold it till I could get up and dressed, and help him go to the bathroom... it was tuff for both of us during this time. I am still also trying to find a horse facility that I could afford knowing that I am know paying for 2 car payments... without any decent source of income. (my VA disability check after bills would only allow for about 200-400 of free cash) and without the ability to go get a job, I had to make difficult desicions about a lot of things. My family, my dad, and myself decided that at the time my dad NEEDED my help and I just couldnt chance leaving him alone long enough to commit to even a part time to help financially nor could my dad help me financially. So, I needed more finacial freedom and decided to sacrifice my credit for my fathers health... and suffer the consequence of making a quick decision about my financial future with a complete stranger... I let the missing/stolen car go to collections. Without secondary income I just could not afford 2 car payments and the car insurance for both plus take care of my 2 remaining horses. My second heavy decision was to find new homes for my remaining 2 horses, I could not in good conscience make them suffer from my lack of income. I was not making enough income to support any emergency care if needed and I could not afford a decent facility to house them in. Much less afford training for the filly, as I could not spare the 2-4 hrs of daily care and training she needed to become a well round quality adult... so she would have to be cared for and trained by an individual I trusted which costs quite a bit of money. Any housing facility available I could afford was too poor of quality to house a foal. Also due to issues with the person I had purchased the broodmare from (that were ongoing and being dealth with... but not resolved at that time) I could not sell the mare nor could I register the filly so I couldnt sell her as well. They were both good quality horses and to force them to suffer the severe possibly deadly consequences of being sold without registration... (most horses without registration do not end up in good homes, they either end up at rescues, auction houses where they can and do get picked up for meat, purchased cheaply by people that sometimes have no idea what their doing, end up in homes were they get beaten/starved/abandoned, ect... Mares especially have no value if they have no registration papers which verifies bloodlines, breed, age, record of accomplishments and the ability to be bred and create other registereable offspring. So not being registered or having papers is not a very good outcome for a mare/filly) This was not something I could do to these horses they desereved the best outcome I could give them and that was to swallow my pride and issues w/previous owner... So I decided to contact the previous owner and do the right thing for the horses, the previous owner was able to take the horses back and pay for the transportation they would need to get there.

So lets recap... within about 2 months I have lost the following:

+ 2 good quality horses

+ secondary income

+ fulltime job/profession that included retirement benfits

+ good credit - repossing a car is a VERY negative event

+ The ability to purchase a house/car for several years - consequence of bad credit

+ my small breeding business

+ hobby that made me very happy and kept me sane

+ my best friend Trey (yes this was not impacted by the events in my life but he did pass away during this time)

remember all this as towards the end this will all make sense...

Now lets fast foward to Thanksgiving 2020

After I checked my father out of the hospital 2 months ago my father has increasingly become more and more aggressive and hostile towards me. He did not improve much thru physical therapy, he got stronger but did not gain much improvment to the effect that he can be trusted to not fall and hurt himself. His Physical Therapist and his primary care dr both recommended he should not live alone for his saftey. He was very stubborn and would not listen the me, the therapist, the dr, nor my sibling who is a registered physical therapist and practises here in FL. He insisted he did NOT need my help anymore and wanted me to move out, I refused and even my family members refused to allow him to force me out. So I challenged him (to help him realize how much help he needed) to start doing more and more around the house. Up until this point I was helping him to and from the bathroom, cooking breackfast/lunch/dinner (he could not have cereal or a sandwhich.. it must be 3 cooked meals a day...) I had also been taking him grocery shopping, but had started going without him so he couldnt buy certain things (he only wanted to get junk food... cookies, chips, peanuts, pretzels, soda, candy, ice cream) He had put on 20 lbs in the 1st month and after 2 months had put on 35 lbs and was having trouble with his cloths not fitting... We were warned that he needed to be careful with his weight as he was much more seditary then he was used to and would have to control his eating to prevent becoming overweight. Becoming overweight with his health issues leads to increased risk of falling, diabetes, arthritis, heart problems, ect... so around this time he realizes that I am telling the family everything that is going on and they understand what im dealing with so they back me up when it comes to him being stubborn... this is when he starts, behind my back, telling my siblings/aunts/uncles that I am abusing him mentally and financially. The reason I would do this, according to his accusations, was I wanted to continue to mouch off of him and life there rent free... Now mind you at this time im still not working, I am still his full time caretaker though im not being paid for it (if he were to have hired a fulltime caretaker for 8 hrs a day he would have to pay about $800 a week) and I am buying my own food. He is not doing anything but paying the bigger electric bill from me having a laptop and having the lamps on past when he normally goes to bed. He is saving over $3200 a month by having me live there and take care of him... I am unaware that he is telling my family these terrible horrible things and because I have no idea, he has over 4 months to tell these stories. Meanwhile I continue to do what I can to let him be as independant as possible per his requests, while also trying to keep him and other people who live around him safe. After I challenged my father about proving to me and himself what he could or couldnt do he started washing his own clothes, getting himself to and from the bathroom, getting himself into and out of bed, taking his own showers without help, getting dressed without help, setting up his weekly medication organizers himself, getting his newspaper from the front of the driveway, cooking, and emptying the dishwasher. However I am still not allowing him to drive his golf cart. He lives in a retirement community that has several ammeneties that are golf cart accessable, yes this is a good thing and if he didnt live in such a populated area id would have said go for it, golf cart only goes 20 mph. However he lives with thousands upon thousands of other elderly and retired memebers of the community that are also disabled and several have had there drivers license revoked or suspended due to disabilities or handicaps, but they are still allowed to drive golf carts without any form of testing or certification... These people are out and about walking their dogs, having grandchildren over, driving their golf carts, driving their vehicles, taking walks on the side of the road, ect... he could possibly kill someone/something, hurt or kill himself, and/or damage someones property because he lacks the fine motor skills and reaction time to appropratley navigate other compromised elderly residents and other hazards safely. During this time, when he starts taking on more tasks by himself, he starts having more and more falls, mysterious scraps and bruises (he started lying or not telling me when he had fallen or smacked into things because he didnt want me telling my family members that he was falling and getting hurt while trying to be more independant), broken items, broken health equiptment, starts missing medication because he forget one or doubled one medication, started having issues remembering to even take his medication, and was frequently forgetting that he had things cooking on the stove and starting fires... During this time he is telling family members he is doing great, that he hasnt been falling, hes getting better and more independant, he is walking really well-even walking without any walkers (with no problems), just overall he was making a miraculous recovery, claiming doctors were calling him a miricle... meanwhile when I do let my family members know when he has had an issue or is relapsing they are getting confused. I am saying one thing and he is saying another. However he is saying I am trying to keep him lockedup and secluded so I am lying about everything that makes him look bad. They dont believe me and are starting to advocate that dad force me out of the house, to even call the police if I refuse to leave... they all believed that I was this monster, that I would do all these things he said after living my whole life in close proximety to them and being very inclusive with my time for years... they believed that I could be that kind of person be that manipulative...

xmas 2020

We start visiting family for the holidays. Everyone is expecting a man (by his own account) that is walking on his own and could soon be back in his car driving and being independant again.. what they see is a man shuffling heavily, cant lift his feet and is getting stuck from the friction of the pavement (the house has laminent so he can get away with not picking up his feet and sliding his them around due to the lack of friction) He is leaning heavily on his walker and panting from too much effoct, almost falling over as he tries to navigate his way into their house... After xmas I found out about what my father had been saying to everyone else from one of my siblings, they finally believed my account over his after seeing just how "Great" he was doing with their own eyes and how he truely believed he was doing great... They saw that he was lying about how he was doing and believed i needed to know what was being said so I could defend myself... however it was too little too late...

Jan 2021

I got a part time job and finally started saving money again. Tried to stay out of my dads life so he could find some sembalance of independence, but still have someone there to make sure if he was hurt and/or dying someone could possibly get him the hospital in time for life saving medical care. Hired a fitness instructor to help motivate me and be my guide to navigating health problems and trouble areas

Feb of 2021

Found out that one of my siblings went behind me and my families back and gave my dad the spare set of golf cart keys..

I had hidden the golf cart keys once I found out he was planning on driving the golf cart some months back. I told him he could have the keys back once he had proven he was capable of taking care of himself AND do a sort of driving test where he took me out on the golf cart a handful of times to make sure he was safe enough to drive. Well, he circumnavigated that by getting a spare set, so know that he had the keys he didnt need to do anything I asked... My dad's plan to get back at me for not letting him do whatever he wanted was to have the police on march 1st, while giving me no notice, remove me from the house and file charges for elder abuse...

March 2021

I decided to leave on my own March 7th and supsequently, in my haste to leave, ended up in a terrible situation that lead to being in the hospital and having police involvment... after less then 1 and a 1/2 weeks I was injured in a fight with my room mate... over washing their dirty dishes in the dish washer... yes I washed THEIR dirty dishes in the dishwasher and they believed I was trying to get them sick because they believed hand washing was far superior then a dish washer... dispite agreeing that they had every right to believe and wash their dishes as they saw fit they couldnt understand that I also had the right to wash dishes as I saw fit and deserved the respect to do so, they did not like that idea of me having the freedom to do whatever I wanted when I washed dishes... They wanted me to wash the dishes their way, yeah... My room mate liked to leave dishes in the sink for days... and once both basins were full they'd soak them is dish water for 12 hrs, wipe them down and put them in a dishrack to dry... what was I suppose to do for 3 days with a sink full of dirty dishes? I also needed to cook and clean in there as well, so instead of being petty i decided to just wash there dishes as well as mine. Trying to be nice and not make waves... So I ended up back in my dads house... my health issues have doubled I suffered from a severe bought of salmonella poisoning and was hospitalized 2 times in 2 weeks had to take 2 weeks off of work from severe dehydration due to the salmonella and my wrist issues (injuries sustained in fight with roomate) have become more problematic due to a lack of quality care from the VA ssytem. I was demoted at work due to me making too many mistakes. Attributed to all the streess I have been under in the last 1 1/2, my father has been on me about moving out asap, my work is stressful, my health is in decline, my family members are getting on me for being a 30 something yr old failure living with my father and am receiving no kindness from them. To top it all off i have gained 50 lbs in 8 months from all this craziness... I am being told by my fathers side of the family that I am failing at life, I dont have a career, I dont have enough money to live on my own, Im getting fat, and I lack ambition... that i need to get my head ouf of my ass and make something of myself... Yet no mater how mant times I tell them I sacrificed everything to come down here and help at their request!

I still get no sympathy, all these issues I have been having these last 8 months are a direct result of consequences brought on from moving to FL to take care of my sick father... I had a career, I had money, I was living on my on, I was starting a business and about to buy a house, and now I have nothing, no career, no money saved up, no house, no business, and lack the ability to do any of these things plus buy a house or car even because of the bed credit I incurred due to letting a car go to reposession... I would never have purchased the truck if I hadnt needed to move down here. I had planned AFTER i payed off the car to trade it in for a truck simular to what I have now, but i did not want to buy it while I was still paying for the car I had, I can not afford nor is it smart to have 2 car payments when theres no reason to do this... I just feel like a used rag, I served my purpose and to hell with what it did to me its time for the trash to get thrown out... I am being offered, by my mothers side of the family, to come back to Minneapolis, MN but im unsure if this is a good idea with everything going on in the twin cities. But living down here has not been a fun experience so far, I am still working but its part time and with the demotion I will have less hrs then I had before and I am not sure how I can afford an apt down here (after my last roomate situation I refuse to enter into another roomate type arangement) but I dont feel like I can safely live with my father, the stress is starting to have an effect on me mentally, physically, and effecting my ability to work. Due to my laundry list of health problems right now I would not be able to find another job, part time much less fulltime like I need to get back on my feet.

My wrists are a mess and can not handle too much use... so what kind of job could I try for? I have no idea I feel like im in stasis and im fading away while I wait... Any advice or maybe some kind words for the shit show my life is right now? My health is too poor for me to even attempt taking up riding lesson to atleast have something positive going in my life plus I dont think I could afford riding lessons with my income right now, while im trying to save money for whatever I decied to do after this mess...